Planning a bachelorette party for myself?

Viczaesar

Butterflyz419 said:

No one raises their glasses to toast the guests, that's ludicrous. Except, you know, all the times that they do.  Someone might get up and give a little vocal thanks the guests for coming at the beginning of their toast to the the bride and groom, or the couple may do so themselves, but it would be very silly to say "let's all raise our glasses in honor of the guests"...there would be no "all" other than the couple (and the host if that wasn't the couple) able to do that since the toasted do not raise their glasses. That's not actually what's said at most toasts that I've seen.  I know perfectly well what a reception is, but you don't seem to understand what an honor is. If you think being thanked is an honor, and not a matter of basic courtesy I'm not really sure what to tell you. The bridal couple are the guests of honor at the wedding reception, see for example pages 151 & 156 of THIS.  Sorry but this is not some new revelation, it's blatantly obvious. Nope. 

ETA: have you ever heard of the parents of the bride cutting the cake because they were the hosts? Because I haven't. No, because it's supposed to be the first act of serving guests that the bride and groom take.  Have you ever seen the parents sitting in the middle of a head table in place of the B&G because they were the hosts?  I rarely see a head table, so no.  These are things reserved for the guests of honor, regardless of whether or not they are also simultaneously the hosts.

manateehugger

TamsinA said:

Lauderdale Pink said:

@Knottie370 and Butterflyz - YES!!!!!! Thank you for adding some common sense to this board.  I get so tired of the "made-up rules" and make believe "etiquette" I could gag!  Bachelorette parties are a fairly recent trend, and are a great reason to get out with the girls and just have some fun.  If this bride wants to party and celebrate her BMs and pending marriage, then she should go for it!  

I agree! It seems to me that people sometimes get too caught up on "etiquette" seriously who came up with these rules! If you want a party have a party, if you're feeling self conscious about organising it make it low key. I can't imagine anyone is going to think you were inappropriate under the circumstances and if they do then they should have stepped up and one it for you! 

Yes, if you want a party, have a party. But expecting people to come out and PAY to celebrate you is ridiculous. 

No one is required to "step up" to blow tons of time and money on an unncessary party.

Lauderdale Pink

@PDKH, yup that's right, nobody is "required" to do any such thing, that's why "no" is an option for an RSVP.  However, that should not stop this bride from getting the party started.

biggrouch

In my circle, people throw their own birthday parties, and if they have an SO they will have the SO "write" the invitations, but either way everyone knows it's the birthday girl/boy planning the thing. Who has time to throw someone else a party for something that happens every year? We always buy drinks for the birthday person because we feel obligated to, AND YET I'm grateful to them for organizing, because birthday parties always get a slightly better response rate than regular nights out.

My friends who've gotten married are all fairly traditional and someone else threw the bachelorette party. But I don't think I would call that anything but a tradition -- in fact, you often find yourself with MORE obligations, financially and otherwise, when the bachelorette party is being thrown by someone other than the bachelorette! So, for me, all I can say is: I would find it extremely annoying if someone threw themselves a bachelorette party at an upscale cocktail bar and didn't host it completely, because omg do you think I have seventeen dollars for a Dark and Stormy? But I wouldn't be annoyed if it was at a bar that was roughly average or (as at most self-organized birthday parties I've seen) below average cost for the area. And I would definitely be annoyed if someone threw her own bachelorette party and assigned tasks to people ("You buy my sash. You hand-bedazzle my tiara.") but I would not be annoyed if someone threw her own bachelorette party and bought silly bachelorette accessories for everyone to wear. Who cares who "throws" it? So, OP. I think you should go ahead and organize your own bachelorette party. But as a mark of goodwill, you might want to say something like "First round's on me!" or "I'll have ring pops for anyone who wants to come!" so that people understand you're doing it from a place of fun and generosity. That's all I'll say. Don't worry about etiquette -- worry about making the world a better place. If you think your bachelorette party will make the world a funner, happier place, not just for you but for other people, go for it.

Also "honor" is a weird concept in the year 2014. Anyone who has a Facebook profile gets more attention through that than through a party with just like 12 friends there. In fact, the only time when "honor" is clearly applied in party form is at a wedding reception, when the bride and groom are honored with toasts, first dances, cake cuttings, more toasts, head tables, photo displays...