What do you think of "The Shadow Wedding"?

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826

Jezebel is at it again!  Here's a LINKY to "The Shadow Wedding".  Anyone interested in planning yet another ceremony?  A shadow wedding is held one week before you wedding date, and touches on those not-so-lovely aspects of marriage.

I've lived with FI for 6 years.  I've seen the good, the bad, and the ugly.  My shadow wedding would have his vows like "I vow to fart so loud the cat runs away and I laugh" with me saying "I vow to put crochet above laundry 7 times out of 10."

Thoughts?  Vows?  ^_^

beethery

So basically you say all your gross/lazy shit that you plan to keep doing while you and your guests pretend to be trash goblins.

Fuck it, maybe we'll just have a shadow wedding and leave it at that. I hope we can find a willing officiant. 

Also good WOOWOO ALERT EXCERPT:

"I witnessed the real power of the shadow wedding ritual when I went to the couple's actual wedding. Because they had directly and honestly addressed their darkest aspects, it was as if the sun shone brighter that day and the couple stood fully in the light, in wholeness," says Rosy Moon Schlussel, a guest at the Benson's shadow wedding, who is also an actor, life coach and yoga instructor.

Of course that lady's an actor/life coach/yoga instructor. That is one of the only people who would say something like that. WOOWOOOOOOO

misshart00

This is really odd to me. What happened to people talking about things? The good and the bad.

Edit: and I would assume it's as easy to lie in this "wedding" as it is in dating. So I just don't see the point.

mellowmarshmallow

Why would you agree to marry someone whose flaws/issues you didn't know? I fart and curse. DH loses himself in video games for hours at a time. We love each other in spite of, and mostly BECAUSE OF our flaws that make us who we are. I vote that a shadow wedding is a stupid idea.

chibiyui

LabLove86

Um. I don't like it.

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826

For the record, I too am a big fat NO lol.

Vivandiere8

I don't see the point of this..... seems pretty silly. I knew about my husbands faults and he mine before our wedding. I already decided to accept them when I said said to his proposal. I don't know what saying them a week before the wedding is suppose to do. I don't think there is anything wrong with the wedding being a perfectly, happy day seen through rose colored glasses.

Simply Fated

While I do think it's very important to talk about the "for better or for worse" part of the relationship, I'm not sure how this is helpful. I would think an actual conversation and premarital counseling would suffice. Fake wedding vows that involve promising to change how you are doesn't seem beneficial to me.

Some of the comments are great, though...

"In my last life I bought my wife for three sheep and a lamb. It was a good marriage. Anyone who expects a perfect union is always going to be disappointed. You get what you pay for."


"I saw the headline and assumed it was a dumb new wedding photography trend.
I read the article and wished to Christ it had just been a dumb new wedding photography trend."

"Why would anyone do this or attend this?It's basically paying 2500 dollars to have your friends and family watch you fight. Everyone knows that every couple has problems. Nobody wants visual proof."

"What could go wrong? A week before your wedding, you stand up before your friends and family, and tell them that your intended has poor dental hygiene. Then he turns to you and tells you that you are a lousy lay. Sounds like a fantastic idea."


I think I saw someone use the term "exhibitionist." And, honestly, that word popped out at me. This whole thing does kind of make me think it's one more AW thing the couple can do for their wedding shenanigans. Is this a gift giving event?

sarahufl

Will there now be bachlorette parties and registries involved for your Shadow Wedding, your Paper Wedding, and you PPD?

I cant keep up with this shiz.

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826

Simply Fated said:

 Is this a gift giving event?

I'm thinking no, unless you want to give them some dirty laundry to air out.

jenajjthr

There was an article I read online about knowing if you were with your soul mate. What I liked a lot about it was accepting the person and their faults and not trying to change the person. My H has ADD, really really bad. To the point I get really annoyed at times. But I knew this about him before he even asked me to marry him. I accept him for who he is and he accepts me, no need to air our faults for everybody else. I vote no.