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bethsmiles
member
Vent: BF's Family
I like BF's family, I really do. They are very nice people. But sometimes they drive me up the wall! This weekend was especially rough!
BF and I love to go camping. We go several times every summer. And every fucking time we go, BF's family makes super annoying comments. We are planning a longer trip with some friends and are leaving on Wednesday. So of course the comments start rolling in again. First, it's always about how much we are taking. Um, we go car camping. If it all fits in BF's toyota carola I don't think it's a lot. Yes, we take somethings that are more for convience for necessity but I'm not trying to live off the land I'm just trying to enjoy nature for a few days. Then we get the comments about how we won't have an enjoyable time. I get it, his mom doesn't like camping. But clearly we do since we keep going. So I don't really need to hear your negativity. And then every time we get back it's annoying comments about if it was worth it and it seems like so much work. If it wasn't worth it to us we wouldn't go!
His brother has started coming on trips with us again this summer. He has insisted for the past 2 years he doesn't like camping. And makes comments about how we should be more minimalist and how we could do things better. BF and I plan the trips. We find the spots, we pack the gear, we set up camp, we cook, we clean, we are essentially responsible for everything so I think we know a little better than him what we need to take to have good time. I seriously wanted to smack him this weekend!
All of this drives me up the wall! In my family we aren't so involved in everyone's buisiness. If my brother doesn't somethig that doesn't sound fun to me or he's doing it a way I wouldn't. I don't worry about it because it doesn't involve me. I just don't get why his family feels the need to comment on everything we do!
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Re: Vent: BF's Family
I've experienced some fun comments from my ILs over the years, and since they're not my own family (and I can't blast them), then I just pretend I didn't hear it.
Example: A few months back, DH and I were in MA for his cousin's funeral. I had driven straight to MIL's house from my dad's (long story) to attend the funeral as a family. I dropped my bag on the dining room table and ran into the bathroom to pee. Within literally 10 seconds, I hear my MIL saying to DH, "That's a nice bag. How much did THAT cost you?"
And it's like, listen lady. #1: What my personal belongings cost are absolutely NONE of your business since we have never asked you for money or other financial assistance. We are 100% financially independent and are MARRIED. Our finances do not concern you. #2: The bag was actually a Christmas gift from my brother, but yes it is a very nice bag. #3: Just because I like nice things does not make me a snob. I mix high end with Walmart, thank you very much. #4: I LOVE how you didn't notice the BRAND new $400 coat that your son is wearing.
Anyway, I feel like I got off on a tangent. Just know that you are not alone. All you can really do is pretend not to hear it, and refuse to dignify it with a response.
Oh boy. I just love those little nuances of SO's family. And most of the time if you were to tell your SO about how it annoys you, he'd be all offended, but if SO said it themselves about their own family then it's fine to say.
And a lot of times I don't notice my own family's weirdness/dysfunction until SO points it out. Like the negativity is just so ingrained because I grew up with them, around the negativity, it's normal...or perhaps just ignored/tolerated?