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Vent: BF's Family

bethsmilesbethsmiles member
10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
edited July 2014 in Not Engaged Yet
I like BF's family, I really do. They are very nice people. But sometimes they drive me up the wall! This weekend was especially rough!

BF and I love to go camping. We go several times every summer. And every fucking time we go, BF's family makes super annoying comments. We are planning a longer trip with some friends and are leaving on Wednesday. So of course the comments start rolling in again. First, it's always about how much we are taking. Um, we go car camping. If it all fits in BF's toyota carola I don't think it's a lot. Yes, we take somethings that are more for convience for necessity but I'm not trying to live off the land I'm just trying to enjoy nature for a few days. Then we get the comments about how we won't have an enjoyable time. I get it, his mom doesn't like camping. But clearly we do since we keep going. So I don't really need to hear your negativity. And then every time we get back it's annoying comments about if it was worth it and it seems like so much work. If it wasn't worth it to us we wouldn't go! 

His brother has started coming on trips with us again this summer. He has insisted for the past 2 years he doesn't like camping. And makes comments about how we should be more minimalist and how we could do things better. BF and I plan the trips. We find the spots, we pack the gear, we set up camp, we cook, we clean, we are essentially responsible for everything so I think we know a little better than him what we need to take to have good time. I seriously wanted to smack him this weekend!

All of this drives me up the wall! In my family we aren't so involved in everyone's buisiness. If my brother doesn't somethig that doesn't sound fun to me or he's doing it a way I wouldn't. I don't worry about it because it doesn't involve me. I just don't get why his family feels the need to comment on everything we do!


Re: Vent: BF's Family

  • You sound so frustrated.  I'm sorry, @bethsmiles.

    I've experienced some fun comments from my ILs over the years, and since they're not my own family (and I can't blast them), then I just pretend I didn't hear it.

    Example:  A few months back, DH and I were in MA for his cousin's funeral.  I had driven straight to MIL's house from my dad's (long story) to attend the funeral as a family.  I dropped my bag on the dining room table and ran into the bathroom to pee.  Within literally 10 seconds, I hear my MIL saying to DH, "That's a nice bag.  How much did THAT cost you?"

    And it's like, listen lady.  #1:  What my personal belongings cost are absolutely NONE of your business since we have never asked you for money or other financial assistance.  We are 100% financially independent and are MARRIED.  Our finances do not concern you.  #2:  The bag was actually a Christmas gift from my brother, but yes it is a very nice bag.  #3:  Just because I like nice things does not make me a snob.  I mix high end with Walmart, thank you very much.  #4:  I LOVE how you didn't notice the BRAND new $400 coat that your son is wearing.

    Anyway, I feel like I got off on a tangent.  Just know that you are not alone.  All you can really do is pretend not to hear it, and refuse to dignify it with a response.
  • Oh boy.  I just love those little nuances of SO's family.  And most of the time if you were to tell your SO about how it annoys you, he'd be all offended, but if SO said it themselves about their own family then it's fine to say. 

    And a lot of times I don't notice my own family's weirdness/dysfunction until SO points it out.  Like the negativity is just so ingrained because I grew up with them, around the negativity, it's normal...or perhaps just ignored/tolerated? 

  • I'm glad I don't sound like a crazy person! Usually I'm a lot better at not letting it get to me but this past week my emotions have been all over the place and I just could not handle it!

    Also, who the hell asks someone how much their purse (or anything else for that matter) costs! I think I would have just stared at her with a confused look on my face.


  • @Pepprally - Thank goodness BF is completly aware of his family's crazy. Although I think I may have vented a bit too much this weekend and will probably apologize to him tonight when I see him. 


  • I'm glad I don't sound like a crazy person! Usually I'm a lot better at not letting it get to me but this past week my emotions have been all over the place and I just could not handle it!

    Also, who the hell asks someone how much their purse (or anything else for that matter) costs! I think I would have just stared at her with a confused look on my face.

    SITB:  I was actually mid tinkle as she asked DH, or I would've given her the rusirius look.  Honestly, I feel like even asking such a thing is such a...low class...(I'm sorry, but it's the truth!) thing to do.  I have gotten the impression that she thinks I'm a princess from the very first time we met.  I made the mistake of bringing my Louis Vuitton (gasp!) bag with me to lunch when we met, and apparently it made her think I was a huge snob.  Sigh.
  • Man, that's tough. Some people just need to nitpick others' choices for whatever reason. Maybe they don't have a lot going on in their lives right now? Maybe they're in a bad place emotionally and taking it out on you? Maybe they're just nosy people? Family's fun like that. I wish there were a way to make them less annoying, but family's always going to be there. 

    I'm sorry that your SO's brother was a pain while on the trip though. I mean, if he doesn't like how you guys camp, why go with y'all? Super annoying. 

    I hope you were still able to enjoy the trip, despite all the negativity. Next time tell his brother you guys are going as a romantic getaway. At least you'll have peace and quiet on the trip that way.


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  • @bethsmiles - why does his brother even go if he hates camping?? I would get SO annoyed. 

    But you can vent to us as much as you'd like :)



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  • @bethsmiles - why does his brother even go if he hates camping?? I would get SO annoyed. 

    But you can vent to us as much as you'd like :)
    Ugh. I don't know. But I think it's because everyone in our friend group goes. So we did two summers worth of camping trips without him and I think he started to notice how much he was missing out on with everyone. 

    He's just a complainer in general though. 


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