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Ceremony and Vow Ideas

How long is just right?

I'm writing our wedding ceremony. I had a lot of input in the ceremony at my first wedding but this ceremony is all us, start to finish. I don't want it to be so quick everyone is thinking "whoa, that's it?!" but I don't want people bored, fidgety, sweating and otherwise thinking, "oh, FFS get one with it so we can get up and move around!" either. I'm thinking 15 minutes is a good goal to shoot for? It will be completely secular so no prayers, communions, etc., that need to be factored in. Maybe two readings? Is 15 minutes too long or too short, or just right?

«13

Re: How long is just right?

  • CMGragain said:
    You are already married.  A redo ceremony is not appropriate, except at a true vow renewal, which is not what you are planning.  Truth.
    Thanks for wasting both of our time with this. Yours typing it, mine reading it. I either need to concern myself with adding more content or trimming the content of what's already written, not fretting over what some people think is appropriate or not. I'm getting down to the wire and still have a ton to do, so let this be a warning to everyone considering responding with nothing but a time suck: don't bother. 

  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    CMGragain said:
    You are already married.  A redo ceremony is not appropriate, except at a true vow renewal, which is not what you are planning.  Truth.
    Thanks for wasting both of our time with this. Yours typing it, mine reading it. I either need to concern myself with adding more content or trimming the content of what's already written, not fretting over what some people think is appropriate or not. I'm getting down to the wire and still have a ton to do, so let this be a warning to everyone considering responding with nothing but a time suck: don't bother. 

    A warning?
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    NYCMercedesemmaaa
  • Oooo, is that a threat?
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • AddieCake said:




    CMGragain said:

    You are already married.  A redo ceremony is not appropriate, except at a true vow renewal, which is not what you are planning.  Truth.

    Thanks for wasting both of our time with this. Yours typing it, mine reading it. I either need to concern myself with adding more content or trimming the content of what's already written, not fretting over what some people think is appropriate or not. I'm getting down to the wire and still have a ton to do, so let this be a warning to everyone considering responding with nothing but a time suck: don't bother. 



    A warning?

    Yes, that's what it says. Because who has time to post nonresponses to legit questions. And I have even less to read them.


  • Nobody wants to help you with your PPD.  You have wasted many posters time by posting your ridiculous plans that violate etiquette, and then stating that you don't care about etiquette or what is proper.  You have already offended hundreds of Knotties, and you will probably offend some of your guests, too, with your entitled attitude.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    MairePoppyJennyColada
  • CMGragain said:

    Nobody wants to help you with your PPD.  You have wasted many posters time by posting your ridiculous plans that violate etiquette, and then stating that you don't care about etiquette or what is proper.  You have already offended hundreds of Knotties, and you will probably offend some of your guests, too, with your entitled attitude.


    Hundreds huh? I can always count on you same 10-15 women to attempt to throw shade, but otherwise I've received some pretty sound advice here as long as someone like yourself doesn't try their hardest to see that the thread devolves in to utter irrelevance.

    Luckily, my timing was affirmed elsewhere so I can go back to wedding planning. And no, none of our guests will be offended, that I can assure you.

    pineapplesmoothie
  • MobKaz said:

    I always appreciate when a ceremony starts with a meaningful quote........

    “Honesty is more than not lying. It is truth telling, truth speaking, truth living, and truth loving.”


    James E. Faust

    Yea, I like the two readings we've already picked out much better. And I prefer our already written intro. Discussing beaches, tropical weather and such is so much more appealing. And besides, if we start the whole thing off by professing our staunch belief in all truth telling at all times dinner is going to be really uncomfortable once we starting dropping truths all around us. Yikes.

  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I don't understand your warning. Will there be consequences?
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    emmaaaMommyKristin88holyguacamole79
  • AddieCake said:

    I don't understand your warning. Will there be consequences?

    Just y'all looking stupid and wasting your own time. And mine it would seem. I've got to quit screwing around on here and finish this ceremony writing project. Priorities.


  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I don't understand your warning. Will there be consequences?
    Just y'all looking stupid and wasting your own time. And mine it would seem. I've got to quit screwing around on here and finish this ceremony writing project. Priorities.
    image
    emmyg65beetherysouthernbelle0915NYCMercedes
  • I always appreciate when a ceremony starts with a meaningful quote........

    “Honesty is more than not lying. It is truth telling, truth speaking, truth living, and truth loving.”
    James E. Faust
    Yea, I like the two readings we've already picked out much better. And I prefer our already written intro. Discussing beaches, tropical weather and such is so much more appealing. And besides, if we start the whole thing off by professing our staunch belief in all truth telling at all times dinner is going to be really uncomfortable once we starting dropping truths all around us. Yikes.
    Why are you discussing beaches at your fakeass ceremony anyway? Is this something along the lines of 'oh, look at us, planning our pretend wedding in such a beautiful place?' Because cut that. Yuck.

    Assuming I had the time, money, and inclination to attend such a farce, which I don't, I certainly would not appreciate any discussion of the location I had just spent my vacation time and money to get to for your event. I would not appreciate it even at something I was under the impression was an actual wedding. Yes, you picked an expensive and inconvenient location that happens to be tropical. We're here, we have eyes, get on with it.

    I vote for keeping whatever you do short, short, short since none of it is legally binding anyway. Get to the partying.
    image
    ashleyep
  • I always appreciate when a ceremony starts with a meaningful quote........

    “Honesty is more than not lying. It is truth telling, truth speaking, truth living, and truth loving.”
    James E. Faust
    Yea, I like the two readings we've already picked out much better. And I prefer our already written intro. Discussing beaches, tropical weather and such is so much more appealing. And besides, if we start the whole thing off by professing our staunch belief in all truth telling at all times dinner is going to be really uncomfortable once we starting dropping truths all around us. Yikes.
    Why are you discussing beaches at your fakeass ceremony anyway? Is this something along the lines of 'oh, look at us, planning our pretend wedding in such a beautiful place?' Because cut that. Yuck. Who includes anything about their planning in the opening lines of their wedding ceremony? That seems weird. But yes, there will be mention of the location, as in "A&B thank you for joining them on this beautiful day, so on and so forth." Not 100% on the exact wording but I'll figure it out.

    Assuming I had the time, money, and inclination to attend such a farce, which I don't, I certainly would not appreciate any discussion of the location I had just spent my vacation time and money to get to for your event. I would not appreciate it even at something I was under the impression was an actual wedding. Yes, you picked an expensive and inconvenient location that happens to be tropical. We're here, we have eyes, get on with it. Uh, what? I'm thrilled beyond belief no one is pissy they're coming or has a crappy attitude about it. If they are they should have declined, seriously. But all the discussions I've had with the people who are coming have been nothing short of "OMG, we cannot wait to get there, etc." The location isn't inconvenient so long as no one chooses to walk, FFS, it's an easy plane ride. And if it's an expense they cannot spare declining really was an option. Which many people who were invited took. Especially since we're having a thing when we get back, many people decided that was a better option for them, an option we understood and even assumed for quite a few. There were no guns to heads. We were going with or without guests. I don't think most people are using more than three days vacation, tops. Most are coming in on Weds/Thurs and leaving Sun/Mon. 

    I vote for keeping whatever you do short, short, short since none of it is legally binding anyway. Get to the partying. There will be two days of partying prior and another after. I think 15-18 minutes will be sufficient, legally binding or not. I haven't timed the script as of yet but it may end up a wee bit shorter, but it will not go over 18 minutes. We have tequila to drink after all. 

  • For a wedding ceremony, unless it's a Catholic mass or some other religious ceremony, I think 20-30 minutes is a good limit.

    In your situation, for a vow renewal, I think the shorter the better since you are married. I don't think 15 minutes is too long, but I wouldn't have it any longer than that. 
    *********************************************************************************

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    PrettyGirlLostashleyep
  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    For a wedding ceremony, unless it's a Catholic mass or some other religious ceremony, I think 20-30 minutes is a good limit.

    In your situation, for a vow renewal, I think the shorter the better since you are married. I don't think 15 minutes is too long, but I wouldn't have it any longer than that. 

    I personally, would side-eye any non-religious ceremony lasting longer then 15 minutes.
    image



    Anniversary
  • chibiyui said:



    For a wedding ceremony, unless it's a Catholic mass or some other religious ceremony, I think 20-30 minutes is a good limit.

    In your situation, for a vow renewal, I think the shorter the better since you are married. I don't think 15 minutes is too long, but I wouldn't have it any longer than that. 




    I personally, would side-eye any non-religious ceremony lasting longer then 15 minutes.

    I think I would too. Anything over 20 I think I'd get fidgety. I'd really like to shoot for no more than 15. It's going to be hot and muggy. With such a small guest list and no bridal party there's no reason our guests will have to sit around waiting very long for things to get under way.

  • For a wedding ceremony, unless it's a Catholic mass or some other religious ceremony, I think 20-30 minutes is a good limit.


    In your situation, for a vow renewal, I think the shorter the better since you are married. I don't think 15 minutes is too long, but I wouldn't have it any longer than that. 
    We will not be treating this as a vow renewal. It will be laid out like a secular wedding ceremony, as that is what it is for us. There's nothing to renew because we haven't vowed anything yet. I would like it to come in around the 15 minute mark, although we were advised by an officiant on another site it should be 18 minutes of speaking. I'm not planning to search for filler. So 15 minutes is the ultimate goal if it's over or under by a couple minutes, so be it, but even I'd get antsy over 20!

  • emmaaaemmaaa North Carolina mod
    Moderator 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    For a wedding ceremony, unless it's a Catholic mass or some other religious ceremony, I think 20-30 minutes is a good limit.

    In your situation, for a vow renewal, I think the shorter the better since you are married. I don't think 15 minutes is too long, but I wouldn't have it any longer than that. 
    We will not be treating this as a vow renewal. It will be laid out like a secular wedding ceremony, as that is what it is for us. There's nothing to renew because we haven't vowed anything yet. I would like it to come in around the 15 minute mark, although we were advised by an officiant on another site it should be 18 minutes of speaking. I'm not planning to search for filler. So 15 minutes is the ultimate goal if it's over or under by a couple minutes, so be it, but even I'd get antsy over 20!
    If you are already married, please tell me how you did not vow anything? If you don't want to call it that, call it what it is, "A do over wedding."

    holyguacamole79
  • emmaaa said:



    For a wedding ceremony, unless it's a Catholic mass or some other religious ceremony, I think 20-30 minutes is a good limit.


    In your situation, for a vow renewal, I think the shorter the better since you are married. I don't think 15 minutes is too long, but I wouldn't have it any longer than that. 
    We will not be treating this as a vow renewal. It will be laid out like a secular wedding ceremony, as that is what it is for us. There's nothing to renew because we haven't vowed anything yet. I would like it to come in around the 15 minute mark, although we were advised by an officiant on another site it should be 18 minutes of speaking. I'm not planning to search for filler. So 15 minutes is the ultimate goal if it's over or under by a couple minutes, so be it, but even I'd get antsy over 20!

    If you are already married, please tell me how you did not vow anything? If you don't want to call it that, call it what it is, "A do over wedding."

    Because signing a license IMO isn't the same as vowing anything. The state doesn't care if we love each other, sleep around, or even like each other. It surely doesn't care if either of us will be there for the other in sickness, health, richness or broke. It's a legal contract but all that the state cares is if your documents are in order and that your check clears. Past that, there's no set expectations of how we feel or treat the other, so long as it's within the confines of the law. Vows on the other hand are promises between a couple, that if taken seriously, actually spell all these things out. And that's a contract that is far more important to us, even though it's verbal, not written.


  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    For a wedding ceremony, unless it's a Catholic mass or some other religious ceremony, I think 20-30 minutes is a good limit.

    In your situation, for a vow renewal, I think the shorter the better since you are married. I don't think 15 minutes is too long, but I wouldn't have it any longer than that. 
    We will not be treating this as a vow renewal. It will be laid out like a secular wedding ceremony, as that is what it is for us. There's nothing to renew because we haven't vowed anything yet. I would like it to come in around the 15 minute mark, although we were advised by an officiant on another site it should be 18 minutes of speaking. I'm not planning to search for filler. So 15 minutes is the ultimate goal if it's over or under by a couple minutes, so be it, but even I'd get antsy over 20!
    Does that give everyone enough time to "be in the moment"?
    PrettyGirlLost
  • emmaaaemmaaa North Carolina mod
    Moderator 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    For a wedding ceremony, unless it's a Catholic mass or some other religious ceremony, I think 20-30 minutes is a good limit.

    In your situation, for a vow renewal, I think the shorter the better since you are married. I don't think 15 minutes is too long, but I wouldn't have it any longer than that. 
    We will not be treating this as a vow renewal. It will be laid out like a secular wedding ceremony, as that is what it is for us. There's nothing to renew because we haven't vowed anything yet. I would like it to come in around the 15 minute mark, although we were advised by an officiant on another site it should be 18 minutes of speaking. I'm not planning to search for filler. So 15 minutes is the ultimate goal if it's over or under by a couple minutes, so be it, but even I'd get antsy over 20!
    If you are already married, please tell me how you did not vow anything? If you don't want to call it that, call it what it is, "A do over wedding."
    Because signing a license IMO isn't the same as vowing anything. The state doesn't care if we love each other, sleep around, or even like each other. It surely doesn't care if either of us will be there for the other in sickness, health, richness or broke. It's a legal contract but all that the state cares is if your documents are in order and that your check clears. Past that, there's no set expectations of how we feel or treat the other, so long as it's within the confines of the law. Vows on the other hand are promises between a couple, that if taken seriously, actually spell all these things out. And that's a contract that is far more important to us, even though it's verbal, not written.
    I'm sorry but signing your name next to his on that "legal stuff" is vowing that you will marry him. You might not have said the words but that was your own fault. As an adult you make decisions, and you made the decision not to make any "real vows" by not having a big ceremony. That doesn't mean you get a do over. 

    I know that you are so deluded to believe that you are doing the right thing and no one else will be offended, so I'm not going to bother to continue telling you how rude you are being. 

    jenna8984PrettyGirlLost
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    For a wedding ceremony, unless it's a Catholic mass or some other religious ceremony, I think 20-30 minutes is a good limit.

    In your situation, for a vow renewal, I think the shorter the better since you are married. I don't think 15 minutes is too long, but I wouldn't have it any longer than that. 
    We will not be treating this as a vow renewal. It will be laid out like a secular wedding ceremony, as that is what it is for us. There's nothing to renew because we haven't vowed anything yet. I would like it to come in around the 15 minute mark, although we were advised by an officiant on another site it should be 18 minutes of speaking. I'm not planning to search for filler. So 15 minutes is the ultimate goal if it's over or under by a couple minutes, so be it, but even I'd get antsy over 20!
    If you are already married, please tell me how you did not vow anything? If you don't want to call it that, call it what it is, "A do over wedding."
    Because signing a license IMO isn't the same as vowing anything. The state doesn't care if we love each other, sleep around, or even like each other. It surely doesn't care if either of us will be there for the other in sickness, health, richness or broke. It's a legal contract but all that the state cares is if your documents are in order and that your check clears. Past that, there's no set expectations of how we feel or treat the other, so long as it's within the confines of the law. Vows on the other hand are promises between a couple, that if taken seriously, actually spell all these things out. And that's a contract that is far more important to us, even though it's verbal, not written.
    So you are telling me you aren't living by that "contract" now?  So you can just go sleep with whoever you want since you haven't "vowed" to those things yet?  I doubt that.  I bet you have been abiding by those "contractual obligations" since you have been with your H since that is what most couples do if they wish to stay together.  When normal people get married they typically state their vows which they have already been abiding by but more importantly they are becoming legally binded to one another which in most people's minds is more important then stating words that they are most likely already living by.

    buddysmom80jenna8984
  • MobKaz said:



    For a wedding ceremony, unless it's a Catholic mass or some other religious ceremony, I think 20-30 minutes is a good limit.


    In your situation, for a vow renewal, I think the shorter the better since you are married. I don't think 15 minutes is too long, but I wouldn't have it any longer than that. 
    We will not be treating this as a vow renewal. It will be laid out like a secular wedding ceremony, as that is what it is for us. There's nothing to renew because we haven't vowed anything yet. I would like it to come in around the 15 minute mark, although we were advised by an officiant on another site it should be 18 minutes of speaking. I'm not planning to search for filler. So 15 minutes is the ultimate goal if it's over or under by a couple minutes, so be it, but even I'd get antsy over 20!

    Does that give everyone enough time to "be in the moment"?


    Couldn't tell ya. I think the last time we discussed this "in the moment" business I mentioned not giving two red hot fucks if our wedding guests are playing Candy Crush on their phones through the ceremony. Too much has changed, too much has gone down in the 17 months leading up to the big day, that I don't have the inclination to worry about what moment anyone else is in.

  • emmaaa said:



    emmaaa said:



    For a wedding ceremony, unless it's a Catholic mass or some other religious ceremony, I think 20-30 minutes is a good limit.


    In your situation, for a vow renewal, I think the shorter the better since you are married. I don't think 15 minutes is too long, but I wouldn't have it any longer than that. 
    We will not be treating this as a vow renewal. It will be laid out like a secular wedding ceremony, as that is what it is for us. There's nothing to renew because we haven't vowed anything yet. I would like it to come in around the 15 minute mark, although we were advised by an officiant on another site it should be 18 minutes of speaking. I'm not planning to search for filler. So 15 minutes is the ultimate goal if it's over or under by a couple minutes, so be it, but even I'd get antsy over 20!

    If you are already married, please tell me how you did not vow anything? If you don't want to call it that, call it what it is, "A do over wedding."
    Because signing a license IMO isn't the same as vowing anything. The state doesn't care if we love each other, sleep around, or even like each other. It surely doesn't care if either of us will be there for the other in sickness, health, richness or broke. It's a legal contract but all that the state cares is if your documents are in order and that your check clears. Past that, there's no set expectations of how we feel or treat the other, so long as it's within the confines of the law. Vows on the other hand are promises between a couple, that if taken seriously, actually spell all these things out. And that's a contract that is far more important to us, even though it's verbal, not written.


    I'm sorry but signing your name next to his on that "legal stuff" is vowing that you will marry him. You might not have said the words but that was your own fault. As an adult you make decisions, and you made the decision not to make any "real vows" by not having a big ceremony. That doesn't mean you get a do over. 

    I know that you are so deluded to believe that you are doing the right thing and no one else will be offended, so I'm not going to bother to continue
    telling you how rude you are being. 



    That we made no vows during our license signing wasn't our "fault" it was done completely on purpose. The two are separate to us. There's nothing to "do over." As an adult I show up to work sober and on time, pay my rent every month on the first and wear my seatbelt. I also take a multivitamin, because, you know, that's what adults do. How we get married has nothing to do with age and everything to do with prerogative. Because strangers find it rude has zero effect on what's going to happen. In 15 minutes or less.


  • emmaaaemmaaa North Carolina mod
    Moderator 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    For a wedding ceremony, unless it's a Catholic mass or some other religious ceremony, I think 20-30 minutes is a good limit.

    In your situation, for a vow renewal, I think the shorter the better since you are married. I don't think 15 minutes is too long, but I wouldn't have it any longer than that. 
    We will not be treating this as a vow renewal. It will be laid out like a secular wedding ceremony, as that is what it is for us. There's nothing to renew because we haven't vowed anything yet. I would like it to come in around the 15 minute mark, although we were advised by an officiant on another site it should be 18 minutes of speaking. I'm not planning to search for filler. So 15 minutes is the ultimate goal if it's over or under by a couple minutes, so be it, but even I'd get antsy over 20!
    If you are already married, please tell me how you did not vow anything? If you don't want to call it that, call it what it is, "A do over wedding."
    Because signing a license IMO isn't the same as vowing anything. The state doesn't care if we love each other, sleep around, or even like each other. It surely doesn't care if either of us will be there for the other in sickness, health, richness or broke. It's a legal contract but all that the state cares is if your documents are in order and that your check clears. Past that, there's no set expectations of how we feel or treat the other, so long as it's within the confines of the law. Vows on the other hand are promises between a couple, that if taken seriously, actually spell all these things out. And that's a contract that is far more important to us, even though it's verbal, not written.
    I'm sorry but signing your name next to his on that "legal stuff" is vowing that you will marry him. You might not have said the words but that was your own fault. As an adult you make decisions, and you made the decision not to make any "real vows" by not having a big ceremony. That doesn't mean you get a do over. 

    I know that you are so deluded to believe that you are doing the right thing and no one else will be offended, so I'm not going to bother to continue telling you how rude you are being. 
    That we made no vows during our license signing wasn't our "fault" it was done completely on purpose. The two are separate to us. There's nothing to "do over." As an adult I show up to work sober and on time, pay my rent every month on the first and wear my seatbelt. I also take a multivitamin, because, you know, that's what adults do. How we get married has nothing to do with age and everything to do with prerogative. Because strangers find it rude has zero effect on what's going to happen. In 15 minutes or less.
    Except you have to be an adult, in most areas (18 y.o. +) in order to be wed. So, your age does matter. 

  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    For a wedding ceremony, unless it's a Catholic mass or some other religious ceremony, I think 20-30 minutes is a good limit.

    In your situation, for a vow renewal, I think the shorter the better since you are married. I don't think 15 minutes is too long, but I wouldn't have it any longer than that. 
    We will not be treating this as a vow renewal. It will be laid out like a secular wedding ceremony, as that is what it is for us. There's nothing to renew because we haven't vowed anything yet. I would like it to come in around the 15 minute mark, although we were advised by an officiant on another site it should be 18 minutes of speaking. I'm not planning to search for filler. So 15 minutes is the ultimate goal if it's over or under by a couple minutes, so be it, but even I'd get antsy over 20!
    Does that give everyone enough time to "be in the moment"?
    Couldn't tell ya. I think the last time we discussed this "in the moment" business I mentioned not giving two red hot fucks if our wedding guests are playing Candy Crush on their phones through the ceremony. Too much has changed, too much has gone down in the 17 months leading up to the big day, that I don't have the inclination to worry about what moment anyone else is in.
    Of course your story would change over 17 months.  That's how lying works.  And regardless of what has gone down in the past 17 months, it is not unique.  Many women have had to deal with illness, separation, death, and other tragic circumstances.  But they continue to live a life with integrity.
  • emmaaa said:





    emmaaa said:



    For a wedding ceremony, unless it's a Catholic mass or some other religious ceremony, I think 20-30 minutes is a good limit.


    In your situation, for a vow renewal, I think the shorter the better since you are married. I don't think 15 minutes is too long, but I wouldn't have it any longer than that. 
    We will not be treating this as a vow renewal. It will be laid out like a secular wedding ceremony, as that is what it is for us. There's nothing to renew because we haven't vowed anything yet. I would like it to come in around the 15 minute mark, although we were advised by an officiant on another site it should be 18 minutes of speaking. I'm not planning to search for filler. So 15 minutes is the ultimate goal if it's over or under by a couple minutes, so be it, but even I'd get antsy over 20!

    If you are already married, please tell me how you did not vow anything? If you don't want to call it that, call it what it is, "A do over wedding."
    Because signing a license IMO isn't the same as vowing anything. The state doesn't care if we love each other, sleep around, or even like each other. It surely doesn't care if either of us will be there for the other in sickness, health, richness or broke. It's a legal contract but all that the state cares is if your documents are in order and that your check clears. Past that, there's no set expectations of how we feel or treat the other, so long as it's within the confines of the law. Vows on the other hand are promises between a couple, that if taken seriously, actually spell all these things out. And that's a contract that is far more important to us, even though it's verbal, not written.


    I'm sorry but signing your name next to his on that "legal stuff" is vowing that you will marry him. You might not have said the words but that was your own fault. As an adult you make decisions, and you made the decision not to make any "real vows" by not having a big ceremony. That doesn't mean you get a do over. 

    I know that you are so deluded to believe that you are doing the right thing and no one else will be offended, so I'm not going to bother to continue
    telling you how rude you are being. 



    That we made no vows during our license signing wasn't our "fault" it was done completely on purpose. The two are separate to us. There's nothing to "do over." As an adult I show up to work sober and on time, pay my rent every month on the first and wear my seatbelt. I also take a multivitamin, because, you know, that's what adults do. How we get married has nothing to do with age and everything to do with prerogative. Because strangers find it rude has zero effect on what's going to happen. In 15 minutes or less.




    Except you have to be an adult, in most areas (18 y.o. +) in order to be wed. So, your age does matter. 


    18 was a long time ago. My views on my impending marriage won't be changing no matter how long I live.


  • MobKaz said:



    MobKaz said:



    For a wedding ceremony, unless it's a Catholic mass or some other religious ceremony, I think 20-30 minutes is a good limit.


    In your situation, for a vow renewal, I think the shorter the better since you are married. I don't think 15 minutes is too long, but I wouldn't have it any longer than that. 
    We will not be treating this as a vow renewal. It will be laid out like a secular wedding ceremony, as that is what it is for us. There's nothing to renew because we haven't vowed anything yet. I would like it to come in around the 15 minute mark, although we were advised by an officiant on another site it should be 18 minutes of speaking. I'm not planning to search for filler. So 15 minutes is the ultimate goal if it's over or under by a couple minutes, so be it, but even I'd get antsy over 20!

    Does that give everyone enough time to "be in the moment"?
    Couldn't tell ya. I think the last time we discussed this "in the moment" business I mentioned not giving two red hot fucks if our wedding guests are playing Candy Crush on their phones through the ceremony. Too much has changed, too much has gone down in the 17 months leading up to the big day, that I don't have the inclination to worry about what moment anyone else is in.

    Of course your story would change over 17 months.  That's how lying works.  And regardless of what has gone down in the past 17 months, it is not unique.  Many women have had to deal with illness, separation, death, and other tragic circumstances.  But they continue to live a life with integrity.


    This "story" of mine as you call it hasn't changed a bit. The facts remain the facts. The plan has remained the plan. My concern for how others may feel has become more lax is all. My life is choc full of integrity. My cup runneth the fuck over with it. That I'm only concerned with what moment Mr. E and I find ourselves in on our wedding day doesn't mean diddly for our integrity. It means a lot about our priorities. And whatever that says about us to outsiders, so be it.


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