Thinking About Cancelling...

jnrsgirl · July 2014

So FI and I are seriously thinking about cancelling the wedding scheduled for September. We both really want to get married this year, but we are just not into the whole concept of the big wedding party with everyone around. We have been discussing just eloping and sending a card to the family and friends to announce it.

We were having a smaller wedding (40 guests or so), but the stress of pushy people / family drama is driving us nuts. I'm just not sure what to do. I would love to have our family and friends there to celebrate with us, but not if it involves all the crazy drama.

FI's family is upset that we are not doing a bigger / more impressive party and complains constantly that our wedding wouldn't be as good as so and so's or that certain family members would find our simple outdoor C&P style unacceptable.

My family is equally aggravating with the extra uninvited guests they are pushing to add. Or how step mom demands that we move our date to the day after since she has plans for that Saturday. Or the aunt who is pissed that her demon step kids were not invited due to their vile habits and behaviour.

I'm just so ready to scrap it and just have a simple quiet courthouse ceremony. In the end as long as FI and I are married, I'm happy.

Jells2dot0 · July 2014

I eloped and don't regret it for a second!! When we announced our marriage after the fact, we got nothing but support from family and friends.

My biggest question to you is are you paying or have you accepted funds from the family? If you accepted money from the family, it would be wrong to just cancel without them agreeing it's the best thing to do.

thisismynickname2 · July 2014

Sounds like good enough reason to me to cancel (if you're not out too much money already).

Honestly, my sister went through something similar. They scrapped the big party (150) in favor of dinner with immediate family (which after my BIL's siblings' kids, totaled around 30 people).

People get over it. Do what's in your heart.

lyndausvi · July 2014

If you are both on the same page, do it.

If you received any funds for the wedding I would return that.

jnrsgirl · July 2014

We are paying for everything ourselves so no worries there. It just seems like too much stress and chaos for what should be a happy celebration.

mrsmorales2be · July 2014

I know exactly how you feel. FI and I were planning on getting married Dec 13th. We've decided that having a big wedding and reception is not what we want, and we want to move the wedding to Oct. We want a quiet, small wedding with just our immediate family. So far, all of my family is supportive of the change, and his mom is supportive. One of FI's sisters is the only one that's giving him a hard time about the change. Only thing we're waiting on is to clear this with my priest. I have an appointment scheduled for us to speak with him...hoping he agrees to marry us two months earlier than expected!

CMGragain · July 2014

Never apologize for getting married. Go do it your way and make phone calls to immediate family afterwards. Then send out formal announcements to friends and relatives. You can have a back yard party get together a few months later to celebrate.

blabla89 · July 2014

Do what you two feel is best. If that's a courthouse wedding, then go for it, but be prepared to lose any deposits you've paid, and check your vendor contracts carefully for the cancellation policies.

I like CMG's suggestion of sending announcements afterward and having a party later to celebrate.

SBmini · July 2014

You don't want to have a wedding you hate. If you aren't in it and are making compromises for other people who are still not satisfied then cut your losses! If you have set out invites or STDs make sure you communicate that the wedding is canceled with your guests.

buttercup1958 · July 2014

You should do what you want! I mean you shouldn't be stressing over what is suppose to be a happy occasion. If you can afford to lose the money then I think eloping may be the best thing to do.