Budget Weddings Forum

Pot luck reception

2»

Re: Pot luck reception

  • I think there is a way to do it without being tacky. Maybe approach a few family members or friends who have a dish they are known for and ask them if they might be interested in making it for your wedding, maybe offer to buy the groceries the dish requires so it;s just time spent instead of money. Most family would be willing to help i think. And maybe just stick to side dishes and you can purchase the main dish (barbecue or whatever). 

    My fiance and I are considering this approach for our wedding because we're paying for it ourselves. We're accommodating for my entire family (who is out of town) by having it at a location that we will have exclusively for the whole weekend and it provides them with a place to stay for the weekend at no additional cost to them. I totally get why you're considering that option, but maybe you can try and go about it a different way. so everyone doesnt feel obligated to bring food, but everyone is still fed. A wedding is supposed to be a fun and exciting experience for everyone involved, not a stressful financial burden that causes arguments and anxiety. 

    I say go for it, but instead of asking everyone, just privately ask a few people. and if nobody wants to help, just get a caterer. 




    ***************************SITB***********************************

    Um, so you're having a potluck because you are CHOOSING to pay for *your* family's (not his, apparently) lodging? 

    That is the epitome of tacky. You are having people bring their own food because you've chosen to spend that money elsewhere. Way to show people how much they mean to you.... I'd be so pissed as a guest I wouldn't attend.
    Sometimes I think people don't actually know what the word "tacky" even means. Usually the definition can be found by holding up a mirror. Sheesh.
    image
    This baby knows exactly how I feel
  • I think there is a way to do it without being tacky. Maybe approach a few family members or friends who have a dish they are known for and ask them if they might be interested in making it for your wedding, maybe offer to buy the groceries the dish requires so it;s just time spent instead of money. Most family would be willing to help i think. And maybe just stick to side dishes and you can purchase the main dish (barbecue or whatever). My fiance and I are considering this approach for our wedding because we're paying for it ourselves. We're accommodating for my entire family (who is out of town) by having it at a location that we will have exclusively for the whole weekend and it provides them with a place to stay for the weekend at no additional cost to them. I totally get why you're considering that option, but maybe you can try and go about it a different way. so everyone doesnt feel obligated to bring food, but everyone is still fed. A wedding is supposed to be a fun and exciting experience for everyone involved, not a stressful financial burden that causes arguments and anxiety. 

    I say go for it, but instead of asking everyone, just privately ask a few people. and if nobody wants to help, just get a caterer. 
    If there is a way to do it without being tacky (and I don't think there is), this ain't it.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • I'd like to hear the opinions of the masses... What if family of the bride and groom OFFER to provide food?

    My FFIL owns a Subway and offered to provide subs, my mother has a dish she loves making and offered to prepare enough for everyone.  My FMIL offered to make candy apples, and is really excited about it.  And to top it off my MOH is making the wedding pies (instead of cake).

    And.... go!
  • I'd like to hear the opinions of the masses... What if family of the bride and groom OFFER to provide food?

    My FFIL owns a Subway and offered to provide subs, my mother has a dish she loves making and offered to prepare enough for everyone.  My FMIL offered to make candy apples, and is really excited about it.  And to top it off my MOH is making the wedding pies (instead of cake).

    And.... go!
    I would politely thank them for their offer but that I want them to just enjoy themselves and not worry about doing anything but having fun.

    Or if for some reason saying thanks but no thanks would cause immense hurt feelings I would ask them to provide what they are offering for the RD instead.

  • I'd like to hear the opinions of the masses... What if family of the bride and groom OFFER to provide food?

    My FFIL owns a Subway and offered to provide subs, my mother has a dish she loves making and offered to prepare enough for everyone.  My FMIL offered to make candy apples, and is really excited about it.  And to top it off my MOH is making the wedding pies (instead of cake).

    And.... go!
    If your FFIL owns the Subway, I see no problem with that as long as he's not doing any of the work. It sounds like this is really just for the discount. 

    As for the others, I'd probably say no. I might accept the candy apples thing if it was a really small affair since these can be done several days in advance and don't need to be "served" by anyone the day of. But for the others, this means day before/day of prep and day of serving people. Your mom and MOH are guests of honor - they shouldn't be working.
    *********************************************************************************

    image
  • You know, if people OFFER I really don't have a big problem with it.  They offered, they know the work involved, and if they didnt want to do it, they would not have offered.  Now, this is coming from a woman who WOULD, and has, offered things like that.  When I do, it is indeed a gift from my heart and I have really thought about whether or not I want to tackle that kind of work.

    My BFF's DD got married last November and that was one crazy poorly planned shindig - because they cut her parents out of it until 2 weeks out and had to admit that all the plans they had that they couldn't afford weren't working out.  (these 2 are not "real world" mature enough to be married).  You bet I got on the phone and volunteered a ton of help andfood.

    I will never ever buy off on asking people to do that though.

  • I don't have a problem if people OFFER, but even then it can be a logistics nightmare, inconvenient, etc. In general, I think it is best to avoid DIY potluck-style food at weddings. I've seen pics of MuppetOverlord's friends' wedding, and the food setup looked very unappealing to me.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited September 2014
    As everyone says, it's tacky and inappropriate to invite people to something, especially a thank-you for their attendance, and expect them to pay for it. That's your job as the host. If you're concerned about costs, then you need to cut your guest list or serve less expensive provisions. Maybe have the wedding and reception at a non-meal time and serve appetizers, drinks, and desserts. But whatever you do, there is no non-tacky way to pass on the costs of being fed on to your guests.
  • AddieCake said:
    I don't have a problem if people OFFER, but even then it can be a logistics nightmare, inconvenient, etc. In general, I think it is best to avoid DIY potluck-style food at weddings. I've seen pics of MuppetOverlord's friends' wedding, and the food setup looked very unappealing to me.
    Well now I want to see pictures. 
    image
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards