Giving Zero Fucks.

theartistformerlyknownas

I'm so there. I think I hit that stage maybe 4-6 weeks ago, where things I thought mattered or would stress me out just didn't anymore. I officially give zero fucks about them. The latest iteration - people adding guests to their RSVP. You were invited as 1, RSVPed for 2, if it means that much to you to add someone then I just don't have the energy to care about it. Sure friend, bring your SIL. Whatever. 

On a related note: the budget. We're under budget just barely right now, but probably won't end up that way. Whatever. We have the money. So no Mom, I don't care that you look at me as if a bear just ripped my arm off when I casually mention something about an entree being $34. Be glad you don't know the full cost of any of these things because you'll surely stroke out comparing it to your own wedding in 1981. So when you ask me "just how much are you spending on this thing?!" I'll just shrug and say "just enough."

What did you originally think was a Really Big Deal that you now give zero fucks about?

southernbelle0915

I thought having plants/flowers around our wedding arch was a big deal. To this day, I cannot recall if any were there or not. And even in photos, it's hard to tell because we and the wedding party are standing right in front of them.

Our wedding was outside in a park. We rented out a pedestrian bridge that connected the park to downtown. There were bums that normally slept on a couple of benches next to the bridge. I thought it was a huge deal that there would be bums there as guests arrived. We moved our guest book table and welcome area to the other side. Poof!!! Problem gone.

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826

I give zero fucks about favors.  I was asked what I was going to do with them.  We are having them because FI wants them and I agreed because they are harmless.

"Whatever.  I'll just go to the Bulk Barn and buy a ton of sugary things, mix em up and dump em in cute little boxes.  Seriously, no one is going to give a shit about these things.

I also give zero fucks about people messing with the guest list.  Yes, it says you and your wife but you want to take your daughter instead?  Whatever.  Not what I asked, but it matter to me at this point.  2 people, 2 plates, done.

Sugargirl1019

The whole thing. About 2 months before the wedding, I was like I don't give a fuck about anyone or anything, I just want to elope. I don't care of there are flowers here, or what table goes where, what door my guests enter the reception hall in, or who sits in the second row. So stop asking me. I will say I don't care!

ETA: tuxedos. I threw a fit thinking if H had his way, the groomsmen would look better than him to me. The color of the bowtie or euro tie. I told him to choose the day of with his groomsmens opinions. He wore a white tie, a compromise on what we wanted. He looked so handsome, I don't even know why I cared beforehand.

AddieCake

The things I thought were a big deal were detail things. I spent an embarrassing number of hours looking at stamps and trying to match our favor label shade of coral to the coral ribbon I tied the bags with before I finally got over myself. But any of the big things I cared about, I would still care about.

emmaaa

Right now, I'm at the point that I couldn't care less about making a seating chart. I don't care where you sit! Whatevs, I'll get around to it.

mysticl

We had the fancy tiered cake and then we had the extra sheet cake.  When she dropped the cakes off the delivery person left the sheet cake on the same table as the fancy cake.  At the reception my mother comes up to me to inform me of this.  My response "I don't care".  She also came to inform there was an entire table of guests missing.  My response "I don't care".  We knew they would be missing because they worked with DH and something came up.  

ShallowSeas

No fucks about favors at this point.  In the beginning it was really important for me to have favors. Now i'm just like, whatever. We're already over budget and its just not important to me any more.
I'm also ALMOST over programs.  I've made an example on Publisher of what I like and our officiant just emailed me the script/timeline of the ceremony last night, but at this point I'm like, 'do I even want programs?'  Other than the Celtic Blessing Stones we're doing, and the fact that we're not doing any type of unity candle/sand, its a normal wedding so at this point my thinking is: Most people have been to weddings. They know what's going on. They don't care who is in your WP. I may still end up doing them if FI really wants them tho. Who knows.

sarawifenow

Currently I give zero fucks about decorations. Our venue is beautiful on its own, so I don't think we are really doing anything but uplighting. My coworker almost had a heart attack when she asked about decorations and I said we weren't having any. Yep, not talking to that coworker anymore.

lyndausvi

I had the benefit of getting married when I was older.  I also had the benefit of working in the hospitality business.   Those gave me the insight that most of the things people worry about in regards to weddings just do not matter.  AT ALL.    Oddly the things they should worry about they sometimes don't (can we say chairs for every butt?)

Making sure my guests were hosted properly, great food and bar, music and a good photographer to captured  it all is all I really cared about.        Dress, decor, invites and everything else just didn't matter.  Sure I had an idea of what I wanted, but I was not obsessed about them.

Cookie Pusher

I gave zero fucks about... pretty much everything. I fully trusted my caterer, who was to provide food, alcohol, decor, all rental items (tables, chairs, linens, china, glassware, flatware), and would set up the centerpieces/guest book/escort cards that I dropped off a few days before the wedding. The have done weddings at my venue for the better part of 30 years, so I had zero stress about them. I had finished all my DIY projects for the wedding well in advance of needing to drop things off to the caterer, so nothing left to be stressed about. I was a pretty un-stressed bride. Even when my hair went flat less than an hour after curling it, the only response I could muster was literally "eh".

chibiyui

Towards the end I gave zero fucks about anything. I had planned more cookies, and scrapped them for my own sanity. We had plenty.

climbingsingle

The centerpieces. I'm making them all myself (painted wine bottles, decorative stick things, corks). I was stressing about it for months. Even the day I started, I was so concerned about them coming out right. Now, I don't even care. I will continue painting the bottles. They don't need to be perfect. 

wandajune6

Matching shades of burgundy.

Our colors are black, white, and burgundy as an accent. It turns out that everyone has a different opinion on what qualifies as burgundy. Try as we might, I can't get them to match. I've decided that's ok- the different shades won't all be next to each other.

I'm also noticing that we're not getting any declines and have decided not to give a fuck about it. Even the people my parents were convinced would not be coming are still coming. In fact, our guest list has increased as we've gotten requests for additional "plus ones." We planned for them for everyone but didn't expressly say it for the recently widowed (3), couples who are recently divorced and newly dating (2 couples/4 people), and the elderly with dementia (my divorced grandparents). We wanted to avoid hurting feelings and creating drama though we planned to informally extend the offer to the older crew if they didn't feel comfortable traveling/attending solo.

BM dresses. Only my sister/MOH has bought one. We're getting married in just over 2 months and I didn't give strict requirements (black, not long). I was freaking out for a while that the majority of them haven't even started shopping but now I've decided that I don't care. It's a black dress. Buy it at Target on the day of for all I care.

I'm trying to stop caring about the flowergirl dresses. My sister/MOH and my FSIL both have daughters who will be flower girls. I thought I couldn't care less about dresses but after seeing FSIL's tastes, I kinda do. I've already made it clear that it's up to the moms so I'm sticking to that!

Jells2dot0

lyndausvi said:

Making sure my guests were hosted properly, great food and bar, music and a good photographer to captured  it all is all I really cared about.        Dress, decor, invites and everything else just didn't matter.  Sure I had an idea of what I wanted, but I was not obsessed about them.

This, minus hosting guests since we didn't have any. Getting remarried older and after having "been around the wedding block", there were many things that seemed to be a big deal the first time and now I think back and think it was not important at all in the grand scheme. All I wanted the second time was a meaningful ceremony, at a location we both chose, and had the downtime to really enjoy our new marriage.

theartistformerlyknownas

@wandajune6 I hear ya on the flower girl... I've gone back and forth on it. At first all I cared was that it was some shade of turquoise/aqua/robin's egg blue rather than white or ivory "mini bride"... then Lil Bit decided that the perfect choice for "her wedding" is to wear her new Princess Elsa dress that her dear uncle bought her (aka my FI). Of course my initial thought was "clearly that's ridiculous" but now I kinda don't even care about that. Might be kind of hilarious.

Giving fewer and fewer fucks about flowers too. I'm DIYing my centerpieces with stems from 50flowers and have already ordered them so I'm pretty zen there, but people keep asking me what my bouquet looks like and I honestly can't remember. More shocked stares. Whatever, I trust the florist to give me something pretty. It's pretty hard to make flowers look un-pretty. They're flowers for crying out loud, they're pretty much the universal standard for beauty.

I never cared what my BM's shoes were. Bought their jewelry for them just because I thought it would be nice to have it be consistent while all the dresses were different. Never cared about their hair cut/color/style, whether they got new tattoos, whatever.

wandajune6

lolo883 said:

@wandajune6 I hear ya on the flower girl... I've gone back and forth on it. At first all I cared was that it was some shade of turquoise/aqua/robin's egg blue rather than white or ivory "mini bride"... then Lil Bit decided that the perfect choice for "her wedding" is to wear her new Princess Elsa dress that her dear uncle bought her (aka my FI). Of course my initial thought was "clearly that's ridiculous" but now I kinda don't even care about that. Might be kind of hilarious.

Giving fewer and fewer fucks about flowers too. I'm DIYing my centerpieces with stems from 50flowers and have already ordered them so I'm pretty zen there, but people keep asking me what my bouquet looks like and I honestly can't remember. More shocked stares. Whatever, I trust the florist to give me something pretty. It's pretty hard to make flowers look un-pretty. They're flowers for crying out loud, they're pretty much the universal standard for beauty.

I never cared what my BM's shoes were. Bought their jewelry for them just because I thought it would be nice to have it be consistent while all the dresses were different. Never cared about their hair cut/color/style, whether they got new tattoos, whatever.

We're on the same page- FSIL loves the mini-bride dresses while my sister and I favor dresses that make the little girls look like little girls. FSIL also likes putting mini heels on her 4 year old so we have pretty big differences of opinion on the matter.

I made both girls homemade tutus a few weeks ago and my niece has worn into into the ground. Part of me is tempted to just make them new tutus in our colors and have them wear them with white t-shirts and call it a day. But I think FSIL would be horribly disappointed.

ETA: Posted before I finished typing.

StitelME

I'm so over worrying about most everything. I'm just under three weeks out and I can't make myself care. It's like I worried so much leading up to everything that I have no worry physically left in me.  My planning binder is screaming at me that I have a bunch of details to finally make decisions on but I can't seem to make myself want to.

beethery

My mom thinks it is a really big deal that we have a cutting cake. To the point where she started insisting that my dad would want us to have a cutting cake. I know none of y'all know my Daddy, but I'm gonna tell you now, Daddy don't give a fuck about ANYTHING. Mom sometimes tries to use Daddy as a trump card in getting me to agree to shit that I want no part of, or for when I keep telling her NO, NO NO. NO, this does not affect you, please quit, we are done talking about this, etc.

So today, Daddy came into the office, and I asked, "Do you care if FI and I do a wedding cake-cutting at the reception?"

"What the shit is a cake-cutting?" <then I explained it to him, he just forgot I guess lol>

"Why the hell would I care if you guys did that? If you don't think it's necessary, don't do it."

"Good to know. Mom was making a huge deal about it and saying you'd REALLY want to see us cut the cake."

"She better quit talking out her ass. You do what you want. You know good and well she didn't ask me if I gave a shit about cakes or wedding anything. If she does it again, you text me and get the 'do whatever the hell you want, it's not up to me' response and go about your business, kid!"

--

I'm all about extra cake everywhere, but we're going to have TWENTY-THREE DOZEN CUPCAKES. TWENTY-MOTHERFUCKIN'-THREE. And you better believe I'm going to eat a shit-ton of them! If I decide I want to eat anniversary cake when the time comes, I can just order a dozen and call it good. EASY.

DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT NOTHIN'!!!!!

huskypuppy14

I didn't care about the flowers either. My original florist had some business issues less then 2 months before my wedding so they were not able to do my flowers. My mom took care of it though, since I was in the process of buying a house and thought my new house was more important than the flowers for my wedding.

It all worked out and I got a new florist and the flowers were beautiful. But there was a point where I was like " eh if we don't have flowers we'll still be married".

I also gave zero fucks about my BMs shoes and jewelry. I needed to worry about my own jewelry not theirs.

beachyone15

@wandajune6 I had the exact same problem because our main color is "berry". Apparently berry can mean many different things. Even my florist told me I picked a hard color. Oh well. I figure the reception room will be dark the majority of the time anyway.

hellosweetie1015

beethery said:

TWENTY-THREE DOZEN CUPCAKES. 

TWENTY-THREE DOZEN CUPCAKES. 

TWENTY-THREE DOZEN CUPCAKES.

TWENTY-THREE DOZEN CUPCAKES.

TWENTY-THREE DOZEN CUPCAKES.

FIFY.

beethery

CaitTDid23 said:

beethery said:

TWENTY-THREE DOZEN CUPCAKES. 

TWENTY-THREE DOZEN CUPCAKES. 

TWENTY-THREE DOZEN CUPCAKES.

TWENTY-THREE DOZEN CUPCAKES.

TWENTY-THREE DOZEN CUPCAKES.

FIFY.

I'm going to screenshot that and send it to her if she starts shit again.

holyguacamole79

@lolo883 I think it would be awesome if your FG wore her Elsa dress!!!

MairePoppy

My daughter reached that point just about the time the RSVPs were half in, with added guests, special menu requests, late responses etc... I've mentioned before, that she and SIL were married during Hurricane Sandy. I have a picture of her standing in front of a full length hotel window, in her wedding dress, watching the clouds approach. She was serene and as you say 'gave zero fucks' about the hurricane, last minute cancellations, unexpected house guests etc...She was going to marry the love of her life that day and that was all that mattered. It was a beautiful day.

 

slothiegal

I can not be bothered with ANYTHING.

My officiant just sent me an email asking for our vows for her to look over.  Yeah, I haven't done that yet.  Cousin just called me at work asking what he should pack to wear.  Whatever the hell you want.  BM texted me pictures, wanting to know which shoes look better.  Hun, I don't know.  You keep Zappos in business; I wear the same pair of $1 flip flops I got from Old Navy three years ago.  You got this, girl.  

I JUST CAN'T.

ETA holy crazy double gifs

Couggal12

I'm also giving zero fucks about people adding "plus ones". In a way I know I should and I do but, we're under capacity so whatever, fuck it.

 

I'm also giving zero fucks about the candy bar. I haven't invested much money in to it and at this point I might just save it all for a bad day and watch animal movies while I eat to my heart's content.

holyguacamole79

I gave zero fucks about the "memory tree" my mom wanted to commemorate the family members who had already passed away. I finally told my mom "if you want it, you can do it. " It never got done.

kmmssg

lolo883 said:

@wandajune6 I hear ya on the flower girl... I've gone back and forth on it. At first all I cared was that it was some shade of turquoise/aqua/robin's egg blue rather than white or ivory "mini bride"... then Lil Bit decided that the perfect choice for "her wedding" is to wear her new Princess Elsa dress that her dear uncle bought her (aka my FI). Of course my initial thought was "clearly that's ridiculous" but now I kinda don't even care about that. Might be kind of hilarious.

Giving fewer and fewer fucks about flowers too. I'm DIYing my centerpieces with stems from 50flowers and have already ordered them so I'm pretty zen there, but people keep asking me what my bouquet looks like and I honestly can't remember. More shocked stares. Whatever, I trust the florist to give me something pretty. It's pretty hard to make flowers look un-pretty. They're flowers for crying out loud, they're pretty much the universal standard for beauty.

I never cared what my BM's shoes were. Bought their jewelry for them just because I thought it would be nice to have it be consistent while all the dresses were different. Never cared about their hair cut/color/style, whether they got new tattoos, whatever.

I cannot tell you how excited I would be to see a FG dressed as Elsa!  Not because I am a Frozen uber fan, I just think it would be incredibly sweet.

thisismynickname2

I'm giving zero fucks about anything wedding related right now because my masters thesis is due in less than 2 weeks and I'm way more stressed about that.... and about my job situation....

Really, I'd just like to skip to the honeymoon.  

annathy03

Music (except our first dance and me walking down the aisle). Parent entrance? Um, bach sounds good. Bridesmaids? Yeah that parent one can just keep going. Grand entrance? First jock jams song we thought of. Centerpieces looking perfect. Months out I was super anal about my DIY work, close to the wedding I was all "it'll be dark, this paint job is good enough". Chair covers. My venue coordinator lowered the price 3 times trying to get me to rent them b/c she thought it would look so much nicer. Zero fucks. Bridesmaid shoes. I requested they pick a silver pair (or black, but they decided as a group silver was better), and I'd get pictures of shoes texted to me "Are these OK?". "Yes, those look like shoes". "The shade is OK?". "Any shade is OK. Wear shoes you like." MIL asked about what kind of dress I'd like her in about 10 times before "whatever kind you'll feel good in" sunk in. ETA: Trying to add paragraphs. Come on TK, get it together!