Wedding Etiquette Forum

How do you address envelopes? My friend is offended

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Re: How do you address envelopes? My friend is offended

  • jenijoyk said:
    I honestly don't know a single woman, under the age of 50, who would be OK with "Mr. and Mrs. John Doe." Maybe that's just because of where I live and what kind of women are in my social circle. But there is absolutely no way I wouldn't offend 75% of my guest list if we had addressed our wedding envelopes that way. And here is where I will state the most obnoxious, elitest thing ever, but the truth hurts: The rest of the world will catch up eventually.
    I will be 30 this month and I am in no way offended by having an invite addressed as Mr. and Mrs. John Ourlastname.  Because guess what?  It is both of our names now so why someone would be offended by being addressed as Mrs. Lastname is beyond me.  It is your last name so you should be addressed by it.  And I personally don't get why not including the womans name is such a huge deal.

    FFS it is a freaking name on an envelope.  You don't like it rip it up and throw it away.
    FFS this isn't what I said.
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    mysticl said:
    kns1988 said:
    MadHops21  I'm not trying to get into an argument, but I hate when women say they're not feminists. If you believe a woman is equal to a man, then you are a feminist. 

    You should know who is coming by how they fill out the response cards. You don't need to put both names of a married couple on the front of the envelope.


    This times a million.  Times a MILLION.

    I feel the same way about the name thing, but it's still reality that this is the correct, traditional way to address a married couple.  So it's okay to make your preference known, but you can't really pitch a hissy fit because somebody followed etiquette in addressing your envelope.

    What I find even more funny is that she doesn't want to be referred to as "the wife."  You got married-- you are his wife.  Why is the word wife offensive???
    It may be she offended by the term "the wife" as opposed to being called "Steve's wife".  The way some people say "the wife" can come across as offensive depending on the tone and context.  
    When I call my husband's phone it pops up "the wife".   I find it funny.    His brother is "bro", my mom is "Lynda's mom".     One of his old co-workers contact was "it's raining and we just got slammed, send down another chef".  that is because the only time this girl called was when it was raining.  HA


    Anyway, I've never been address "Mrs Hisfirst Hislast" on an envelope solely for me.  If I did  I would side-eye that.  

    However, I just don't give a rat's ass if an envelope is addressed to both us is Mr and Mrs Hisfirst hislast.  I think it's actually looks nicer on the envelope than a bunch of titles and first names written everywhere.   I do not take it as a sign that my DH owns me.  I am indeed the wife of Mr Hisfirst hislast.  That's all I read it as.     

    I even added his last name to mind, so we have different last names.  My hard core feminist cousin doesnt' care either.   She says they often get Mr and Mrs Hisfirst Herlast. (neither changed their names).  They both laugh and more on.

    Doesn't mean I do not understand other points of views and I addressed their envelopes accordingly

    Visually speaking. If you are using titles for a married couple having the same name I prefer

    Mr and Mrs John Smith over Mrs Jane and Mr John Smith.  I just do not like the way it looks on an envelope.

    If you really want to put the woman's name I would just drop the titles altogether.  Like this

    Jane and John Smith






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    PrettyGirlLost[Deleted User]jdluvr06KnightsNurse
  • lyndausvi said:
    mysticl said:
    kns1988 said:
    MadHops21  I'm not trying to get into an argument, but I hate when women say they're not feminists. If you believe a woman is equal to a man, then you are a feminist. 

    You should know who is coming by how they fill out the response cards. You don't need to put both names of a married couple on the front of the envelope.


    This times a million.  Times a MILLION.

    I feel the same way about the name thing, but it's still reality that this is the correct, traditional way to address a married couple.  So it's okay to make your preference known, but you can't really pitch a hissy fit because somebody followed etiquette in addressing your envelope.

    What I find even more funny is that she doesn't want to be referred to as "the wife."  You got married-- you are his wife.  Why is the word wife offensive???
    It may be she offended by the term "the wife" as opposed to being called "Steve's wife".  The way some people say "the wife" can come across as offensive depending on the tone and context.  
    When I call my husband's phone it pops up "the wife".   I find it funny.    His brother is "bro", my mom is "Lynda's mom".     One of his old co-workers contact was "it's raining and we just got slammed, send down another chef".  that is because the only time this girl called was when it was raining.  HA


    Anyway, I've never been address "Mrs Hisfirst Hislast" on an envelope solely for me.  If I did  I would side-eye that.  

    However, I just don't give a rat's ass if an envelope is addressed to both us is Mr and Mrs Hisfirst hislast.  I think it's actually looks nicer on the envelope than a bunch of titles and first names written everywhere.   I do not take it as a sign that my DH owns me.  I am indeed the wife of Mr Hisfirst hislast.  That's all I read it as.     

    I even added his last name to mind, so we have different last names.  My hard core feminist cousin doesnt' care either.   She says they often get Mr and Mrs Hisfirst Herlast. (neither changed their names).  They both laugh and more on.

    Doesn't mean I do not understand other points of views and I addressed their envelopes accordingly

    Visually speaking. If you are using titles for a married couple having the same name I prefer

    Mr and Mrs John Smith over Mrs Jane and Mr John Smith.  I just do not like the way it looks on an envelope.

    If you really want to put the woman's name I would just drop the titles altogether.  Like this

    Jane and John Smith
    I go with Mr. and Mrs. Smith and leave the first names out of it.  Unless they have different last names.  
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    PrettyGirlLost

  • mysticl said:
    lyndausvi said:
    mysticl said:
    kns1988 said:
    MadHops21  I'm not trying to get into an argument, but I hate when women say they're not feminists. If you believe a woman is equal to a man, then you are a feminist. 

    You should know who is coming by how they fill out the response cards. You don't need to put both names of a married couple on the front of the envelope.


    This times a million.  Times a MILLION.

    I feel the same way about the name thing, but it's still reality that this is the correct, traditional way to address a married couple.  So it's okay to make your preference known, but you can't really pitch a hissy fit because somebody followed etiquette in addressing your envelope.

    What I find even more funny is that she doesn't want to be referred to as "the wife."  You got married-- you are his wife.  Why is the word wife offensive???
    It may be she offended by the term "the wife" as opposed to being called "Steve's wife".  The way some people say "the wife" can come across as offensive depending on the tone and context.  
    When I call my husband's phone it pops up "the wife".   I find it funny.    His brother is "bro", my mom is "Lynda's mom".     One of his old co-workers contact was "it's raining and we just got slammed, send down another chef".  that is because the only time this girl called was when it was raining.  HA


    Anyway, I've never been address "Mrs Hisfirst Hislast" on an envelope solely for me.  If I did  I would side-eye that.  

    However, I just don't give a rat's ass if an envelope is addressed to both us is Mr and Mrs Hisfirst hislast.  I think it's actually looks nicer on the envelope than a bunch of titles and first names written everywhere.   I do not take it as a sign that my DH owns me.  I am indeed the wife of Mr Hisfirst hislast.  That's all I read it as.     

    I even added his last name to mind, so we have different last names.  My hard core feminist cousin doesnt' care either.   She says they often get Mr and Mrs Hisfirst Herlast. (neither changed their names).  They both laugh and more on.

    Doesn't mean I do not understand other points of views and I addressed their envelopes accordingly

    Visually speaking. If you are using titles for a married couple having the same name I prefer

    Mr and Mrs John Smith over Mrs Jane and Mr John Smith.  I just do not like the way it looks on an envelope.

    If you really want to put the woman's name I would just drop the titles altogether.  Like this

    Jane and John Smith
    I go with Mr. and Mrs. Smith and leave the first names out of it.  Unless they have different last names.  
    I prefer to include first names, either both of ours or just his.
    For instance for my bf's family? "Mr and Mrs. Smith" would get confusing considering his paternal grandparents live with his parents. If they recieved an invitation like that from a family member it would be awkward.

    image
  • jenijoyk said:
    I honestly don't know a single woman, under the age of 50, who would be OK with "Mr. and Mrs. John Doe." Maybe that's just because of where I live and what kind of women are in my social circle. But there is absolutely no way I wouldn't offend 75% of my guest list if we had addressed our wedding envelopes that way. And here is where I will state the most obnoxious, elitest thing ever, but the truth hurts: The rest of the world will catch up eventually.


    SITB:
    I'm only 26 and it truly doesn't bother me. I consider myself a feminist.  I happen to also think that getting married to my fiancé is going to be an honor.  And his name is something I get to get out of that.  I don't think it makes me submissive to be okay with this tradition.  It's all at how you look at it.  Do I understand why it upsets some people, yes.  It doesn't me.  And I know others who it doesn't as well who are my age.  But to blanket everyone under fifty is a little judgmental.  It's like if we're okay with this tradition we are not young, liberal, feminist etc.  
    PrettyGirlLostbmydesigner
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    daria24 said:
    But I see a big difference with a piece of paper being addressed as Mr and Mrs. John Doe and me solely being addressed as Mrs. John Doe. But again, I think it is crazy for people in this day and age to think that by being addressed as Mr. and Mrs. John Doe as people thinking you are your husbands property. People don't address others that way because they see it as the wife being owned by the husband but rather just because that is the traditional way of addressing an invite. Again, to me if you are offended by it then take the envelope, rip it up and throw it away. Sorry I just don't see the point in getting all worked up over something when 9 times out of 10 the invite sender probably didn't even mean to offend you or think you are the property of your husband.

    As to the bolded, while I don't think people view it this way anymore, how do you think it became traditional in the first place? The reason behind the tradition bothers me, more so that than the fact that people still use it. 

    Personally I avoided all this shit by just not changing my name. 
    Yeah okay so folks 100+ years ago decided to address people that way because they felt that the wife was the property of the husband.  But in today's world that is not the case so what the heck does it matter if you continue to address a couple as Mr. and Mrs. Joe Doe?  I mean, you don't think of the wife as the husbands property so what does it really matter?

    Personally, I have a lot of other things to worry myself over then how I am addressed on a fucking envelope.

    PrettyGirlLostholyguacamole79AddieCake
  • jenijoykjenijoyk member
    Tenth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    edited August 2014
    Oh I certainly didn't say everyone under 50 would be offended. I said of my friends and wedding guests, I don't know a single one who wouldn't be offended. I then further clarified this by saying it was probably related to where I live and the women I associate with. I then even further clarified by saying the rest of the world will catch up eventually. So, I wasn't making a blanket statement about women I don't know, including yourself. Although I guess technically, I was making a blanket statement about women in the year 2025. So maybe, yes, you should be offended by my audacity.
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer


    jenijoyk said:

    I honestly don't know a single woman, under the age of 50, who would be OK with "Mr. and Mrs. John Doe." Maybe that's just because of where I live and what kind of women are in my social circle. But there is absolutely no way I wouldn't offend 75% of my guest list if we had addressed our wedding envelopes that way. And here is where I will state the most obnoxious, elitest thing ever, but the truth hurts: The rest of the world will catch up eventually.

    I will be 30 this month and I am in no way offended by having an invite addressed as Mr. and Mrs. John Ourlastname.  Because guess what?  It is both of our names now so why someone would be offended by being addressed as Mrs. Lastname is beyond me.  It is your last name so you should be addressed by it.  And I personally don't get why not including the womans name is such a huge deal.

    FFS it is a freaking name on an envelope.  You don't like it rip it up and throw it away.


    This. I see no point in taking offense to something so trivial, if the person sending the mail had no idea what your actual preference was.

    Again, I believe that ppl should be addressed how they prefer, whether it's against traditional etiquette or not, but you need to let your friends and family know how you wish to be addressed.

    And frowning on the inside or judging other women for being ok with or not giving a shit about being addressed as Mrs. Hisfirstname Hislastname? I think it's absurd. Why waste the energy judging another person's preference? It comes off as elitist and petty, not enlightened or feminist.

    I'm 33 and I'm not taking FI's last name. I will ask that our priest and DJ not announce us as Mr. And Mrs. FILastName on our wedding day, but if it happens, meh. I have more important things to worry about. If ppl make the mistaken assumption and refer to me as Mrs. FILastName socially or on envelopes, meh. I'll correct them were appropriate but I honestly don't really care. These are very 1st world problems to me.

    If you truly care about how you are addressed, then just please politely tell ppl your preferences.


    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    Maggie0829JeeGooDowsterarrippaKeptInStitches
  • jenijoykjenijoyk member
    Tenth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    edited August 2014

     

     

    jenijoyk said:
    I honestly don't know a single woman, under the age of 50, who would be OK with "Mr. and Mrs. John Doe." Maybe that's just because of where I live and what kind of women are in my social circle. But there is absolutely no way I wouldn't offend 75% of my guest list if we had addressed our wedding envelopes that way. And here is where I will state the most obnoxious, elitest thing ever, but the truth hurts: The rest of the world will catch up eventually.
    I will be 30 this month and I am in no way offended by having an invite addressed as Mr. and Mrs. John Ourlastname.  Because guess what?  It is both of our names now so why someone would be offended by being addressed as Mrs. Lastname is beyond me.  It is your last name so you should be addressed by it.  And I personally don't get why not including the womans name is such a huge deal.

    FFS it is a freaking name on an envelope.  You don't like it rip it up and throw it away.
    This. I see no point in taking offense to something so trivial, if the person sending the mail had no idea what your actual preference was. Again, I believe that ppl should be addressed how they prefer, whether it's against traditional etiquette or not, but you need to let your friends and family know how you wish to be addressed. And frowning on the inside or judging other women for being ok with or not giving a shit about being addressed as Mrs. Hisfirstname Hislastname? I think it's absurd. Why waste the energy judging another person's preference? It comes off as elitist and petty, not enlightened or feminist. I'm 33 and I'm not taking FI's last name. I will ask that our priest and DJ not announce us as Mr. And Mrs. FILastName on our wedding day, but if it happens, meh. I have more important things to worry about. If ppl make the mistaken assumption and refer to me as Mrs. FILastName socially or on envelopes, meh. I'll correct them were appropriate but I honestly don't really care. These are very 1st world problems to me. If you truly care about how you are addressed, then just please politely tell ppl your preferences.

    Point taken. I drink A LOT of caffiene though, so I have enough energy to frown a little on the inside and still get through my day.
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    jenijoyk said:

     

     




    jenijoyk said:

    I honestly don't know a single woman, under the age of 50, who would be OK with "Mr. and Mrs. John Doe." Maybe that's just because of where I live and what kind of women are in my social circle. But there is absolutely no way I wouldn't offend 75% of my guest list if we had addressed our wedding envelopes that way. And here is where I will state the most obnoxious, elitest thing ever, but the truth hurts: The rest of the world will catch up eventually.

    I will be 30 this month and I am in no way offended by having an invite addressed as Mr. and Mrs. John Ourlastname.  Because guess what?  It is both of our names now so why someone would be offended by being addressed as Mrs. Lastname is beyond me.  It is your last name so you should be addressed by it.  And I personally don't get why not including the womans name is such a huge deal.

    FFS it is a freaking name on an envelope.  You don't like it rip it up and throw it away.
    This. I see no point in taking offense to something so trivial, if the person sending the mail had no idea what your actual preference was.

    Again, I believe that ppl should be addressed how they prefer, whether it's against traditional etiquette or not, but you need to let your friends and family know how you wish to be addressed.

    And frowning on the inside or judging other women for being ok with or not giving a shit about being addressed as Mrs. Hisfirstname Hislastname? I think it's absurd. Why waste the energy judging another person's preference? It comes off as elitist and petty, not enlightened or feminist.

    I'm 33 and I'm not taking FI's last name. I will ask that our priest and DJ not announce us as Mr. And Mrs. FILastName on our wedding day, but if it happens, meh. I have more important things to worry about. If ppl make the mistaken assumption and refer to me as Mrs. FILastName socially or on envelopes, meh. I'll correct them were appropriate but I honestly don't really care. These are very 1st world problems to me.

    If you truly care about how you are addressed, then just please politely tell ppl your preferences.



    Point taken. I drink A LOT of caffiene though, so I have enough energy to frown a little on the inside and still get through my day.

    And I drink a lot of 18+ year old Scotch, which enables me to snark at ppl and unwind at the end of the day. . .I don't think HR would approve of me drinking at work! ;-)

    To each her own, right? On naming conventions and drinks.


    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    jenijoyk
  • scrunchythiefscrunchythief member
    Tenth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    edited August 2014
    I really hope no one was saying that women can't be addressed in the Mr+Mrs John Doe IF that's what they want. That was never my intent, and I definitely don't think less of them if that is their preference. My late grandmother preferred it and I happily addressed letters to her like that and never thought less of her. She was one of the strongest women I've known. However, the fact that using the husband's first name and not the wife's is automatic and "correct" etiquette, is what I'm challenging. In the grand scheme of things is it the biggest deal ever? No, of course not. But in the interest of reinforcing the idea that it's not ok to automatically treat men and women differently, until it's normalized to automatically use just the wife's first name, I don't think you should automatically use just the husband's first name. And as I've said, FB is not the place for this discussion. You could post "I think 1st degree murder is wrong" and the discussion would still probably go insane. ETA TK hates my paragraphs.
    morphemesthemuffinman16
  • princessleia22princessleia22 Oceanfront Property in Arizona member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer

    Mr. & Mrs. Steve Smith is technically correct or acceptable. But, now that she has stated her issue with that, just make sure to use her first name on communications to her.

    For mine, I used both names: Mr. & Mrs. John and Jane Smith, only to make it clear who was included on the invitation.  It should be clear with just Mr. & Mrs. Steve Smith, also, but I figured actually writing each name pushes the point that John & Jane are invited, and not their kids or whole family.  For the few invites that did include kids (flower girl, etc), I wrote kids names under the parents names. So, each person invited was listed by name on the invite. 

    image 

    PrettyGirlLost
  • Let's take a deep breath, and reign in the f-bombs. I honestly apologize that my comment upset you so much. It was snarky thing to say, and a little bit in response to your comment that feminists should be all about equal choices, which I disagree with. But you're right and I should save that conversation for happy hour with my friends, instead of on a wedding etiquette message board with strangers.

    And in all seriousness, thank you for enlightening me about where "rule of thumb" comes from. I had no idea and after independently confirming I will never, ever use that phrase again. Not even being sarcastic. It's been wiped from my lexicon.

    themuffinman16
  • (P.S. I'm internally frowning about your use of the f word - KIDDING!)
  • Also, honey, I just read some of your other posts out of curiousity. And this comes from a really well meaning place: get engaged, go to law school, work as an attorney for a few years, turn 30, and then let me know if you feel the same way about being addressed as "Mrs. John Doe." I'm not saying this to be snarky AT ALL. I'm really, really not. I'm speaking from experience. Your views on this might change over the next 10 years. Mine did. Be open.
  • jenijoykjenijoyk member
    Tenth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    edited August 2014
    missax said:
    jenijoyk said:
    Also, honey, I just read some of your other posts out of curiousity. And this comes from a really well meaning place: get engaged, go to law school, work as an attorney for a few years, turn 30, and then let me know if you feel the same way about being addressed as "Mrs. John Doe." I'm not saying this to be snarky AT ALL. I'm really, really not. I'm speaking from experience. Your views on this might change over the next 10 years. Mine did. Be open.
    So going to law school and practicing law for a few years magically makes you care what someone else writes on an envelope? Hot damn! You learn something new everyday around The Knot.
    Honestly, I think it can. Just like a lot of other things. The PP mentioned in another post she wasn't engaged, was only a few years out of school, and was thinking about going to law school. I believe where you are in life affects how you think about this. But I realize I am in the minority here, so I will let it all go. To everyone I have offended, I apologize. In short, I am offended when I recieve letters addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. John Doe." All of my girlfriends feel the same way. I would bet a lot of money on the fact that in 15 years this won't even be an issue that is considered or discussed on wedding blogs anymore. But we all live different lives that lead us to our opinions. That just about sums up everything I have to say. So, please, all, enjoy your social correspondence however it is addressed.
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its



    jenijoyk said:
    Also, honey, I just read some of your other posts out of curiousity. And this comes from a really well meaning place: get engaged, go to law school, work as an attorney for a few years, turn 30, and then let me know if you feel the same way about being addressed as "Mrs. John Doe." I'm not saying this to be snarky AT ALL. I'm really, really not. I'm speaking from experience. Your views on this might change over the next 10 years. Mine did. Be open.
    I got married for the first time in my 30's.  It does not bother me one bit to have an envelope addressed Mr and Mrs John Doe.  Not at all. We do not have the same name (mine is both my maiden and his last name). 

    I've never been addressed solely as Mrs Joe Doe.   The only time I've been addressed Mrs John Doe is after "Mr and" on an invitation.   Seriously not something I  care about.

    I know plenty of women who have taken or not taken their husband's names.  Many are doctors, lawyers or other professionals.  None of them have the strong reaction to the subject as the OP's friend about the subject on a social level.  

    ::shrugs::

    FWIW - I addressed envelopes according to known preferences.  Unknown ones got the tradition Mr and Mrs John Doe.  

     Well, with the exception of an 80 year old widow.  I took the liberty in putting Mrs Jane Doe, as that is how I would prefer to be addressed without my husband on the envelope.    It was sent back to me as Mrs John Doe.  Well okay then, off to my spreadsheet to make that change for the future.  Who am I to frown on how an 80 year old wants to be addressed on an envelope?






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    PrettyGirlLost
  • I honestly can't imagine being offended by how someone addressed me on an envelope... Well unless they addressed it to "the fucking whore of the house" or something like that. Is it really that big of a deal? I just addressed my invites to either "mr and mrs smith" if they don't have kids or "the smith family" if they do.
    [Deleted User]MadHops21PrettyGirlLost
  • jenijoyk said:
    Also, honey, I just read some of your other posts out of curiousity. And this comes from a really well meaning place: get engaged, go to law school, work as an attorney for a few years, turn 30, and then let me know if you feel the same way about being addressed as "Mrs. John Doe." I'm not saying this to be snarky AT ALL. I'm really, really not. I'm speaking from experience. Your views on this might change over the next 10 years. Mine did. Be open.
    jenijoyk said:
    jenijoyk said:

    And honestly, you go by what you want. But I don't have be totally cool with it. Will I go on FB and say, "CAN YOU BELIEVE JELLYBEAN51523 DOESN'T MIND BEING REFERRED TO BY HER HUSBAND'S FIRST NAME?" No. But I'll frown a little for you. On the inside. Them's just the facts.

    Where on earth did this come from?  I'm kind of sorry I brought up an objection if this is what it's going to devolve into.  Feminism is not about shaming women for their choices. It's about fighting discrimination and trying to encourage society to grow in ways that will lead to women being able to make just as many choices, good or bad, as men can.  Please be more respectful of other people's ability to have their own opinions without dismissing them.

    This has absolutely nothing to do with a woman's age, job, intelligence or anything else.  If she personally wants to be called Mr and Mrs John Doe or just Mrs. John Doe, and tells me, then I will absolutely address her that way without blinking.  

    On a societal level, I'd like to eventually see a shift in this custom.  But I'd never freak out about being addressed that way or if someone else wants to be addressed that way.  
    [Deleted User]southernbelle0915jerkyannePrettyGirlLost
  • jenijoykjenijoyk member
    Tenth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    edited August 2014

    For the record, I said I was "frowning a little on the inside." That's not exactly the harshest thing said on this thread (see above "who the f are you" comment.)

    I didn't say "I spit on your carcass and throw you into the gutter"!

    I internally frown at women who wear blue eyeshadow too. It doesn't mean I "dismiss" them. Geez Louise.

  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I didn't take my husband's last name, but I don't care if we get correspondence to Mr. and Mrs. Joe Doe. I try to think of Mrs. like wife of, and I am his wife. 

    I actually get more annoyed seeing my first name with his last name, because that's not my name, but whatever. And I don't think anyone sends mail to Mrs. Joe Doe (alone) anymore, at least not in my circle. Now, maybe an older lady would prefer that, and that is her choice, but it's certainly not common even if it's proper etiquette.

    I really would like to get rid of the Mrs. and Miss titles and just use Ms. all the time. I think marital status titles for just women are more annoying for everyone. 
    image
    image

    image


    themuffinman16
  • edited August 2014
    jenijoyk said:

    For the record, I said I was "frowning a little on the inside." That's not exactly the harshest thing said on this thread (see above "who the f are you" comment.)

    I didn't say "I spit on your carcass and throw you into the gutter"!

    I internally frown at women who wear blue eyeshadow too. It doesn't mean I "dismiss" them. Geez Louise.


     

    --------------------------stuck in quote box------------------
    Actually, for the FUCKING record, you said "I'll frown a little for you. On the inside." The fact that you're frowning FOR me tells me that you thinks my choice/preference is pitiful, and that's the most offensive thing that's been discussed in this thread.

    And while we're clearing things up here, I'm not *thinking* about going to law school. My semester starts August 25th, I am not only IN law school but a returning law student after taking a leave of absence to move to a new state. 

    And just because I feel like it, I'll add this: My SO and I have already discussed the fact that I would prefer to get married before I graduate, so that I can start my career with one name and not have to change it later on... and also so that his name can be on my diploma, too, because he's playing a huge supporting role in my returning to school and achieving my career goals. He's entirely on board with that idea. So, not only do I want him to have complete and total ownership/domination of me and my name, but also my professional education and diploma!! May God help me, I know.
    holyguacamole79PrettyGirlLost
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