So confused on Groom/Groomsmen attire

jimandpam87

I really just need to know the etiquette/rules of what should be worn by the men in an evening, semi-formal wedding.  I've tried googling this information, and I can't really seem to find anything hard-fast.

FI and I both like the look of charcoal gray over black.  Is this appropriate if our ceremony starts at 5:00pm?  The guy in Jos. A Bank said anything after 5:00 was usually black and it would be weird to use gray.  Is this true? 

Also, when it comes to suits vs. tuxes, is there a rule on this?  I really prefer the look of suits (and the price), but I don't want people side-eying us because the wedding's at night. 

Please help me.  Ultimately I'm letting FI (and the budgets) decide what we go with, but he and I are both desperate to figure out what the deal is on this stuff.

CMGragain

Evening wedding dress:  Either tuxedos (black) or suits (navy, grey, charcoal, black) are proper.  All the men should wear the same level of formality.  Jackets are worn, at least for the ceremony.  The groom is usually distinguished from his groomsmen by his boutonniere.  The suits do not need to exactly match.  True black suits are a recent fashion.  In former days, they were only worn by funeral directors and preachers.

A suit is appropriate attire at ANY wedding.  Every man should have one good dark two piece suit.  Vests are an accessory, and are optional.   The satin vests are for tuxedos only.   Dress shirts are white.  Tuxedos are only proper at weddings after 6:00 PM.  Until the 1960's, they were not considered to be formal enough for a wedding.
A tuxedo has satin jacket lapels and a satin strip down the pants.  No belt is worn, but suspenders.  A proper tuxedo is BLACK!

jimandpam87

Thank you!  I think we may stick with charcoal suits, then.  Mostly I just didn't want our guests thinking, 'why aren't they wearing tuxes?' 

lotsosandwiches

One of my best friends got married recently at a super nice private club. The wedding was definitely on the formal side and the groom and groomsmen all wore charcoal suits. They looked really nice and no one side-eyed them at all. The groom gifted all the groomsmen matching ties in the wedding color. 

On the other hand, I also recently attended a fairly casual wedding, outdoors, in three digit heat, and the groomsmen were in black wool tuxes. The whole time we were all thinking, "Why on earth are they wearing tuxes?" and "Is that one on the end going to passout?"

jimandpam87

lotsosandwiches said:

One of my best friends got married recently at a super nice private club. The wedding was definitely on the formal side and the groom and groomsmen all wore charcoal suits. They looked really nice and no one side-eyed them at all. The groom gifted all the groomsmen matching ties in the wedding color. 

On the other hand, I also recently attended a fairly casual wedding, outdoors, in three digit heat, and the groomsmen were in black wool tuxes. The whole time we were all thinking, "Why on earth are they wearing tuxes?" and "Is that one on the end going to passout?"

Thank you for this.  It definitely makes both of us feel better to know it won't be looked at as weird. 

FI was thinking of gifting his GM their ties as well, however their ties will be Sangria to match the BM dresses....so probably not LOL.

itsdrnotmrs

We are going to look at formalwear soon and FI likes dark gray suits. I don't disagree, so I imagine that is what we will probably go with. The bridesmaids are wearing navy so black would be weird with that. Our wedding is at 6:30 and semiformal.

We will look at lots of options I'm sure, so maybe we will choose something different... not sure. But this has been helpful to read as I too have been wondering if it's weird to let him and his guys wear gray suits at our wedding. Thanks!

caitlinmca

Our wedding is starting at 6 pm, and our guys are wearing charcoal grey if that helps.

kat1114

We are also doing grey suits, but our wedding is at 4:00. Though, I would never think it's weird for the groom and groomsmen to be in grey. It seems to be quite the trend too. Also, FI and his groomsmen decided to buy suits and Men's Wearhouse is having an awesome sale right now. Some suits are $400 off (this weekend only) and others are BOGO until the end of the month.