Ugh, so I am having a REALLY difficult time with the MAJORITY of my bridal party. The friends (not family) who I picked I thought would be excited for me and willing to help no matter what I needed. And I would do the same for them if thier wedding was 5 weeks away.
I've been engaged 2 years and most of my bridal party is acting like I just sprung all this stuff on them...examples: I wanted to get dresses done in February, 2 TOLD ME no because THEY wanted to loose weight first. Then my MOH tells me she plans on having weight loss surgery 6 weeks before the wedding....actually just found out yesterday that she decided to schedule it for 3 days after the wedding (how nice of her to do that, after 5 months of me stressing about it.) This same MOH has been soooo cheap! Every time the bachlorette party is brought up she makes a point to remind me that she put down the $200 deposit and she's going to need that back. Wtf. ..who does that...my friends I guess. Another's dress came in, in June and just picked it up last week....from my mother's house. She had to go pick it up because the store was saying they we're going to send it back if it wasn't picked up. Months later and after multiple pleads to go and make sure her dress fit. She did. The same BM tried getting out of my bridal shower with the excuse of not being able to get time off from her part time job. I emailed her saying how much I'd appreciate her being there...within an hour she said..."ok, I worked it out" ~ why did I have to asked her to be there? ! And this particular BM just sent the MOH a text saying she isn't attending the Bachlorette party because money is tight, but every time I see her she can't stop talking about her wedding (next year) A different BM found out she was pregnant in Jan (my wedding is in sept) she was able to attend the bridal shower but won't be able to come to the Bachlorette party ~ this I have a bit more sympathy for. Her husband is awful but that for another board: ) Also, this one says she doesn't plan on getting her makeup done....what! No, she will not be the only one walking down the aisle with no makeup on.
Anyway, it's been one problem after another with all three friends who are in the wedding. My family is fine. I'm just dumbfounded that these grown women are acting like this. I've been quiet and letting most things go. I actually haven't asked them to do ANYTHING extra just the things a bridal party is supposed to do. Not one of them has helped with a single thing. Nor have I asked them to. My sister, cousin and my mother planned the entire bridal shower. Even asking the others for a little help they decline.
Like I said I'm just baffled at their behavior and almost every part of me wants to ask them not to participate. But my conscious won't let me. They already have thier dresses....altered I'm not sure.
Has anyone this problem before? How did you handle it? Are you friends with your bridal party? What would you do if in my situation? Are my expectations to high? Although I don't feel like I'm asking very much at all...these are all things I have and would do if they were to be married. I was in the pregnant BM wedding 3 years ago...and I did what I was told.
I'm just afraid I'm going to resent them during and after the wedding. Now I need to be fake and act like everything is ok, just to be able to enjoy myself.....I hold grudges. Not one of my best qualities but it's a fact.