Help re work bridal shower

LizM61409

So I start my new job tomorrow. I went in Friday for some orientation stuff, at which time they gave me my work cell phone, pre-loaded with my work email. I was flipping through the emails and ran across an announcement for a surprise bridal shower for someone in the office during lunch THIS WEDNESDAY. It was obviously an email to everyone, not just me. I've never met this person, but I'll be in the office Wed. The email was sent last Thurs (the day before I got the phone and email) and it says where she's registered and where we can store gifts during the morning.

Some background: this is a medical practice with 5 docs. I'm one of the docs. There's maybe ~20-30 support staff. I know the girl getting married is not one of the other docs, so she's a nurse/receptionist/billing person/etc, so I'm not directly her boss but you know. 

I have no idea what to do here. Part of me says to ignore it b/c I've never met her, but on the other hand I'm new and want to make a good impression so I'm thinking about bringing a gift card or something. Thoughts??

AprilH81

I would probably do a small gift or ask another doctor about contributing to a group gift. The group gift (if there is one) would probably be less awkward.

twitterbird

My office usually does a call for contributions to a group gift for weddings, babies, and retirements. Check to see if that is happening.

jacques27

Check with the other docs about contributing to group gift.  If they aren't doing one, I would just buy a small gift or gift card and enclose a simple congratulations card saying you wish her luck on her upcoming nuptials and look forward to getting to know her better around the office.

indianaalum

Wow, this one is tough.

Perhaps give a card wishing her well and make a nice dish of food for the shower. Perhaps even a bouquet of flowers to put on the table as a shower centerpiece or soemthing. That way it shows you are making an effort to connect with her and the others.

I don't think people would fault you for not buying anything though. For all they know, you never saw the email and knew about it.

the group gift idea is fine, as well.

RebeccaB88

In your place, I would bring a card with a small gift from the registry or a gift card. I don't think it would be required of the new person, but it would be a sweet gesture and place you in a good light with her and the rest of the office. It shows you're making an effort to be part of the group.  Plus, it just makes you look like a really nice person.

rsbloom

I had a similar issue when I started my new job earlier this year.  My close work colleagues are on the social committee, and were planning a group gift from the staff to another coworker.  They were all invited to the wedding, and since I was just hired a month before the wedding, I was not, nor did I expect to be.  We work in different departments and never talk/see each other except for staff meetings.

I didn't contribute to the gift because I hadn't even gotten my first paycheck by that time.  

If you see/talk to this person on a regular basis, I agree with PPs that a card and small gift/giftcard would be a nice gesture.

RebeccaFlower

I would look at her registry and see if they have anything wine related and probably just buy a bottle with a bow and call it a day. 

mellyD2014

indianaalum said:

Wow, this one is tough.

Perhaps give a card wishing her well and make a nice dish of food for the shower. Perhaps even a bouquet of flowers to put on the table as a shower centerpiece or soemthing. That way it shows you are making an effort to connect with her and the others.

I don't think people would fault you for not buying anything though. For all they know, you never saw the email and knew about it.

the group gift idea is fine, as well.

*SITB*

I agree - I think a card would be lovely but I don't think anyone could fault you for not going in on a gift. If there is something small on the registry and you're able, that's not such a bad idea.

FWIW, I was in a very similar situation when I started my last job 3 years ago - a coworker I was going to be working alongside was leaving 2 weeks after my start date to get married so in the first few days on the job, they threw her a shower. I had zero relationship with her, so I got her a card. No one ended up looking at me sideways, so I think you'd be within your rights to do something similar!

photokitty

This is one of the many reasons I hate work showers - it's extortion...but I'm a minion so I have to play nicey-nice and get a gift and go. I hate them!

I would get her a gift since it will set the tone of who you are in the office. It's like the new boss never bringing in donuts. I would not get wine for a co-worker. Everyone at the office my be invited to the wedding and you may receive an invite. It's not b-listing if she didn't know you and adds you bc you'd be the only one left out.

If you are doctor IMHO the support staff will side eye the heck out of you if you don't give her a gift since you are perceived as making a lot of money and she is someone who supports you in doing so.

Again, this is one of many reasons I hate work showers. Work showers should include punch and cake, not gifts.

novella1186

indianaalum said:

Wow, this one is tough.

Perhaps give a card wishing her well and make a nice dish of food for the shower. Perhaps even a bouquet of flowers to put on the table as a shower centerpiece or soemthing. That way it shows you are making an effort to connect with her and the others.

I don't think people would fault you for not buying anything though. For all they know, you never saw the email and knew about it.

the group gift idea is fine, as well.

A card and flowers would be really nice. It's not personal, not expensive, not awkward, just a lovely way to include yourself and offer something nice without it being weird.

[Deleted User]

I was a temp when I first started working here.  On Friday of week 2, I was told that we were all having lunch in the lunchroom for a baby shower for TWO women on our floor.  I walked to the grocery store before lunch to pick up a dish to pass, but did not bring a gift.  I was still a temp when we were informed of a bridal shower for another woman on the floor.  I know her and like her and might have been invited to the wedding given another year on the job, but was still a temp making not-much money.  I had zero desire to check her registry so I "recycled" a couple of gift cards I have in my stash and gave the bride and groom "dinner and a movie" on me.