Wedding 911

Dad seems uninterested

fbmandy55fbmandy55
Second Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its
member
edited August 2014 in Wedding 911
My dad is not a very loving guy. He was when I was little, he is with my son and as me and my siblings have become adults, it seems like he could care less about showing any affection or emotion. But he's a firefighter and I've always assumed that showing NO emotion was his way of dealing with "hard things". We have had major ups and downs but have been getting along very well the past few years.

He's been acting strange recently. First, he was supposed to get measured for a tux in March. It's now August and less than 2 months to the wedding and he STILL has not done it. I've begged him literally every week for the last 3 months to do it. He says he will and then doesn't. I mentioned that we needed to find a song for our father/daughter dance. He rolled his eyes and grunted. He said he doesn't want to have the dance. Since he loves my FI, he suggested that they go to a casino/resort a couple hours away for FI's bachelor party. It was my dad's idea for FI, himself and the groomsman to spend a night there. My dad even offered up two comp'd rooms he has. Best man heard about it and called my dad to figure our plans and my dad was down right rude to him. He acted like he had no idea what he was talking about and acted like he had no interest in going. Best man called my FI and said, that he was going to move on and plan something else because of how my dad was.

It's two months away and I am extremely stressed out. With my dad being such a huge part of the wedding it's really getting to me that he has completely tuned out and is not participating, especially because he was excited at first. Any ideas on how to deal with this?

Re: Dad seems uninterested

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member
    Question for you.  Are you the first to get married?  If you are, maybe it is really hitting your Dad that his "little girl" is getting married.  That is a big thing for a Dad to deal with some times and maybe him acting uninterested is his way of dealing with this and preventing himself from really feeling anything.

    Are your parents still together?  If so, have you talked to your Mom about how your Dad has been acting?

    I would also stop bugging him about the tux issue.  If he is just renting a tux he can get measured like 2 weeks out and still be fine.  Maybe let your Mom (if they are still together) deal with getting him to the tux shop to be measured.

    holyguacamole79
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    fbmandy55 said:
    My dad is not a very loving guy. He was when I was little, he is with my son and as me and my siblings have become adults, it seems like he could care less about showing any affection or emotion. But he's a firefighter and I've always assumed that showing NO emotion was his way of dealing with "hard things". We have had major ups and downs but have been getting along very well the past few years.

    He's been acting strange recently. First, he was supposed to get measured for a tux in March. It's now August and less than 2 months to the wedding and he STILL has not done it. I've begged him literally every week for the last 3 months to do it. He says he will and then doesn't. I mentioned that we needed to find a song for our father/daughter dance. He rolled his eyes and grunted. He said he doesn't want to have the dance. Since he loves my FI, he suggested that they go to a casino/resort a couple hours away for FI's bachelor party. It was my dad's idea for FI, himself and the groomsman to spend a night there. My dad even offered up two comp'd rooms he has. Best man heard about it and called my dad to figure our plans and my dad was down right rude to him. He acted like he had no idea what he was talking about and acted like he had no interest in going. Best man called my FI and said, that he was going to move on and plan something else because of how my dad was.

    It's two months away and I am extremely stressed out. With my dad being such a huge part of the wedding it's really getting to me that he has completely tuned out and is not participating, especially because he was excited at first. Any ideas on how to deal with this?
    I agree with Maggie. Also, regarding the dance ... if he doesn't want to do it, don't force the issue.



    Anniversary
  • Yes, I am the first to get married. My parents have been divorced for 23 years and my mom is not coming to the wedding. However, my stepmom has really taken on the 'mom' role through the wedding. I think talking to her about it is great advice.

    I did talk to her last night, then him and he got fitted before I called. Working itself out...
  • My dad is being similar. He seems very "eh" about the whole idea... until I tell him things I want to do. Then he likes to tell me all about how much that idea 'doesn't really work' or 'is kind of bland' or whatever. It hurts my feelings! I'm also the first to get married, though, so maybe that's it. You'd just think he'd want his little girl happy, not stressing out about her wedding because of him.

    @Fbmandy55, you just can't let any sort of tension ruin your big day--advice I need to take myself! Glad it's sorting itself out for you. :)

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