Shopping for a wedding dress alone

sexykitten2014

I am getting married June 20, 2015 and am having a very small wedding party.  My maid of honor lives about 2,000 miles away from me, so I asked my 1 and only bridesmaid if she would go dress shopping with me.  I have only been engaged for a little over a month and she has backed out.  I now have to go shopping alone.  Any suggestions on how to get through this supposedly fun time alone?  My mother and I are close, but I do not want to deal with any potential issues with her and the dress so I would prefer not to involve her.  Thanks for reading.

theartistformerlyknownas

Paging @pinkcow13 ! She had a great experience finding her dress alone.

buttercup1958

I think shopping alone is a great idea. That way you don't get confused by other people's opinions. Enjoy it and treat yourself afterwards!

pinkcow13

lolo883 said, I went shopping alone. I originally was going to go with my girls, but the day of -  I ended up on my own. Personally, I think that was the best way to go. I  don't like a personalized shopping experience, which is what wedding dress shopping tends to be like. Also, chances are you will be down to only your bra (if you're lucky) and panties as the attendant helps you in and out of dresses. Depending on the store, your girls will be in the room with you as you change in and out of gowns. 

Also, I think what can happen is that others opinions may influence your own. At the end of the day this is your dress, and you will have to be the one to be happy in it. My mom and I have different taste, and I know that the dresses she would love on me are not necessarily the ones that I would love. You might have extra pressure from others, if they are the opinionated type. I loved shopping alone, because I went on my own schedule, I had my own visions and ideas, and I didn't feel pressured or self conscious during the process. For me, the experience of going alone was fun enough for me. 

What I plan on doing is inviting my mom and maybe MOH once my dress comes in, or for my first fitting, next year. I think going dress shopping alone is totally fine, and the idea of going with your mom or maids is more out of tradition. Let me know if you have any other questions!

missdelilah

I shopped for mine alone. Everyone I would consider taking with me lives on the other side of the country, or on a different continent. I really didn't think it was polite to take someone shopping with me if I wasn't going to invite them to the wedding. That said, it was both positive and negative. I have a really hard time dealing with high pressure sales people, so there was a lot of me yelling something to the effect of, "I just need to think about this for the weekend" and literally running out of stores. Then there was the lady who I really loved, like really, really loved, and just badly wanted to buy something from her, but one, didn't want to have to travel the hour and a half to her store for all the fittings, and two, she couldn't do such a good price on the dress as the store I ended up going with. I sent the manufacturers' photos of the dresses I loved to my two MOBs (couldn't choose between the two women who helped take care of me after my mum passed and Dad was working all sorts of crazy hours), who have both known me forever, and know what works on me. I know everyone says not to make a decision based on these pictures, but a lot of it was really basic stuff, like, "the neckline on this will be more flattering than the neckline on that." I ended up going with the advice of the one I used to shop with on a regular basis. On the other hand, it was awesome, because I only had to worry about what I wanted, and what I thought suited the venue and tone of the wedding. I'm actually good at tuning out the pushy salesman "Ooh! That looks wonderful on you!" stuff. I was actually really pleased that I didn't have any of my BMs with me. They all have such a different sense of style, and I think about two of them have the imagination required to know that my wedding dress has to suit me, not them. Nothing against them, but it's difficult when you're used to only dressing yourself. It's also why I let them all choose their own dresses. Embrace it if you can. There are definitely lonely bits of it, but overall, I think it made it kind of easier.

msuprincess04

I went alone, and with friends/family once I had a few favorites. It was so much more calm alone because I actually got to think about how I really felt about each dress without others offering their opinions.

sexykitten2014

Ladies, I can't thank you enough for your kind words and sharing your experiences. After reading them, I honestly do feel a bit better. I guess in my head I had imagined the fun I was going to have with her and was a bit scared thinking of picking it out on my own. I am going to keep that appointment this coming weekend. I can't thank you all enough.

missdelilah

I'm so pleased that you feel better.  

You've actually got a little bit of wiggle room in the timing, so if you hate shopping by yourself, maybe you can arrange a get together with your MOH at some point and try shopping with her.  Even if you go to visit her, take a look at what brands your local salons carry.  They can order you any style from any of those lines, regardless of whether they have the sample in stock.  

Good luck with it!  Please let us know how it goes.

lotsosandwiches

I honestly wish I had gone alone! At least once! But I ended up making a purchase the first place I went so I didn't have the chance. But looking back I regret not taking a halfday off work, made an appointment for an offtime (like a weekday morning) and been able to really leisurely try things on without the madness of a full weekend bridal salon and all my girls trying to help me (but defeating the purpose by just telling me I looked great in everything - I KNOW some of those dresses were hideous!). If you're nervous about going alone, maybe you can try to reschedule for a quieter appointment time.

vulpiepop

It's ok to go alone! The most important thing is that YOU love the dress. I do suggest taking pictures though because you won't remember every dress that you try on and, if you're like me, you can think you love something one day and find out you hate it the next so going through the pictures and taking your time deciding really helps. Maybe you can even get together with your BM or mother and look through the pictures together.

weddingcactus

I'm just starting wedding dress shopping and I think it would be just fine to go alone. I must say, however, that shopping with a good friend is a lot of fun. I am having a very small wedding and am not designating any specific bridesmaids (since I'd practically be out of guests if I did that). Instead, a few of my best friends (that are invited guests) have been helping me with shopping.  I just wanted to mention that if you have good friends whose fashion advise you'd respect that are guests but not bridesmaids, perhaps they'd be more than happy to help dress shop. Whether I was a bridesmaid or not, I'd always be happy to help a friend wedding dress shop if I was asked. 

missdelilah

vulpiepop said:

It's ok to go alone! The most important thing is that YOU love the dress. I do suggest taking pictures though because you won't remember every dress that you try on and, if you're like me, you can think you love something one day and find out you hate it the next so going through the pictures and taking your time deciding really helps. Maybe you can even get together with your BM or mother and look through the pictures together.

I really wanted to do this, but unfortunately the designer I loved (and many others also) has a no photography policy with all of their sellers.  I was totally bummed, particularly when I trying to choose between the two colors of the dress.  

Keep in mind also, that the lighting in many boutiques is designed to make the dresses look great in person.  Often the pictures you take in them turn out to be kind of strange.  There was great thread somewhere here about a dress being too shiny, which really highlighted this.  You have to think about the kind of lighting and time of day that you'll be wearing the dress, rather than what's in the store, so photos aren't necessarily as much help as you'd hope.  Plus, if the sample is several sizes out, no matter how it's clipped, the dress isn't going to look exactly like that once it fits you.  Of course, if the salon you visits allows photos and you wish to send some to your MOH, go ahead.  I've just noticed that other brides in this community have had problems with their in store pictures.  

Good luck!  

aggiespartan

I went alone and it was great.  I could quickly get out of the dresses I hated without parading myself in front of people.  I also had a pretty good idea of what I wanted, which I knew isn't really the style of most people.  The last thing I need is somebody trying to change my mind on something I actually have a pretty good idea about.  

atlastmrsg

I loved picking out my dress alone.  I knew my mom wanted to see me in something bedazzled to the max, princess ballgown-y.  I didn't want a single bead or stone on it.  So I went alone.  I had an early a.m. to the salon wasn't packed yet.  I went for a specific designer--Lazaro--trunk show.  I told them which gown I wanted to try ahead of time to make sure they go it in.  Went in, tried it on, and it was the only thing I tried on.  The rest of the appointment, took a few photos then sat on a big leather couch, had a drink, and talked to people.  Low stress and I didn't have to deal with my mom's face falling or someone saying they didn't like the dress and trying to pick something else.  I didn't have to second guess my choice because it was my pick, and only up to me.  No one tried to sell me on trying others "just to have fun" or because "I want to see you in this!"  Best way to do it.  I brought two friends to a fitting--MOH to learn to bustle it and friend who's in fashion design school, then we went out to martinis and sushi after.  

natswild

I did my shopping alone, because everyone is so far away, bought my dress alone, and then sent photos to my parents, FMIL, and FSD, and they all loved it. Sure, I missed not having people there, but as PPs said, it made it lower stress, not having other opinions.

CMGragain

I shopped for my dress alone.  My mother refused to come.  I found my perfect dress, and I'm glad she wasn't there to spoil it for me.
I do not understand why brides think they need someone else to choose their dress for them.  When I see what I want, I know immediately.  I don't need other people to tell me.  Daughter and I went shopping for her dress together, but I was paying.  I knew it was "the one" as soon as I saw the frightened look on her face.  She said "This one is a surprise.  Oh!"  It was slightly higher than our budget, but I knew all about Pearl's Place!

sexykitten2014

I just wanted to let everyone know I got a dress on Saturday!!  It was the most fun day, the woman that helped me was amazing and the dress, perfect.  I truly enjoyed the day, and was thinking of all your wonderful responses and good wishes.  Thank you all.

blabla89

Congrats OP! That's great!

I wish I had gone shopping alone - it might have spared me the expense of getting pushed to buy a dress that I don't like and having to alter it.

buttercup1958

Post pictures if you can. I love dress porn!

sexykitten2014

Here it is ladies!!

theartistformerlyknownas

Beautiful! And you look so happy!

sexykitten2014

Thank you @lolo!!!   It was such a memorable day..., no drama, just pure happiness.