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Do you and your SO have a 5 year plan?

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Re: Do you and your SO have a 5 year plan?

  • God, look at all you intelligent, talented, ambition, high achieving women! Geesh you make me embarrassed to even talk to you!

    I've got the doctorate which is awesome, but no plans other than, "lets be in love and practice making babies." You all got your shit together hardcore. Very impressed.

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  • God, look at all you intelligent, talented, ambition, high achieving women! Geesh you make me embarrassed to even talk to you!

    I've got the doctorate which is awesome, but no plans other than, "lets be in love and practice making babies." You all got your shit together hardcore. Very impressed.

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    How could you feel embarrassed? A doctorate is like the definition of intelligent, talented, ambitious, and high achieving.  :)




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  • We're looking at moving out of CT. I am currently working on getting into nursing school, so we will probably move closer to family once I have finish.  One of the main reasons that we are waiting is that FI's salary will drop by 30-50% when we relocate and we would rather have his current salary while I am in school.

    We are so on the fence about kids.  Right now we are leaning toward no, but who knows.
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  • It's interesting to read everyone's plans! It's making me want to be more proactive in my replan. We're actually not too far off from our original plan, other than moving. So, instead of paying off our AZ home, we'll be buying our TX and paying that off first. But, we're still not having kids, DH will still retire in 5-10 years and I'll still retire by 55. Thankfully we're well prepared, so this bump in the road doesn't throw us completely off course. It just made me rethink being so rigid with thing.

     







  • We are looking to buy a house now. I've been saving money away for that purpose the last 7 years. We want to find something that we'll be able to stay in for awhile, so that means big enough for (hopefully) a couple kids. We're ready for kids whenever they happen, so I guess we're TTC. Both of us are in jobs that don't really change much (no real advancement when you're a pastor or a teacher!), but we also are both very secure in them. We are also looking to purchase a house that we'll still be able to afford if I want to stay home when we do have kids. For that reason, we're saving as much of my paycheck right now as possible. 

    We plan on staying where we are for awhile. The only thing is that we are far from family, and, as a pastor, he could get a call to another church at any time. If one would happen to be near one of our families, we'd really have to seriously consider it.
  • My 5 year plan is fairly tame compared to many here. Marry next summer, start searching for a house to buy together within that next year. After we've settled into our home I would like to travel for 1-2 years before TTC. So year 3 to 4 would be nesting and a baby (hopefully). As far as travel goes, I would like to visit Europe, South America and Hawaii without children. I'm sure I will find more to add within the next year before we get married!
  • beetherybeethery member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited August 2014
    The plan all depends on if the place FI works at closes. Another company bought the original company out, and they're trying to make some very dumb decisions regarding the base-level shit. If that happens, we will have to reconfigure and get FI into my dad's area of work. Daddy would be thrilled about that, as he loves FI and would LOVE for FI to work for us.

    #1 on the agenda: get hitched!
    #2: find out if we're both CF carriers (I recommend this to EVERYBODY who is planning to have kids)
    #3: figure out whether we're going to buy or build a house. Do whichever we figure out
    #4: if we're not CF carriers, work on having a kid
    #5: if being pregnant/giving birth is not the most miserable thing I'll ever experience, have another, then get tubes tied.
    --

    I'm the fuck
    out.

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  • beethery said:
    The plan all depends on if the place FI works at closes. Another company bought the original company out, and they're trying to make some very dumb decisions regarding the base-level shit. If that happens, we will have to reconfigure and get FI into my dad's area of work. Daddy would be thrilled about that, as he loves FI and would LOVE for FI to work for us.

    #1 on the agenda: get hitched!
    #2: find out if we're both CF carriers (I recommend this to EVERYBODY who is planning to have kids)
    #3: figure out whether we're going to buy or build a house. Do whichever we figure out
    #4: if we're not CF carriers, work on having a kid
    #5: if being pregnant/giving birth is not the most miserable thing I'll ever experience, have another, then get tubes tied.
    Both Fi and I have accounts on 23andme (he got it for me as a 1 month anniversary present, haha) and it says that the variant is absent in both of us (not sure how accurate that stuff is though!).

    It's been really interesting, although it's odd that it says I'm "likely" lactose intolerant (not that I've noticed) and have only "typical odds" of having a Photic Sneeze Reflex (I do have it).
  • Gawd, I feel like such a slacker.  I'm not a doctor or a lawyer.  I'm just a regular joe working in the private lab business.

    This thread makes me chuckle because FI is such a planner.  He called his financial advisor last week and asked how he could set up a Registered Education Savings Plan:

    FI: What paperwork do I need to do that?  I want to start soon.

    Financial Advisor: {FI}, do you have a child?  (He's a family friend and swears FMIL would have told him this)

    FI: No.  But I want to start getting it set up.  Do you know how much college is going to cost??

    Financial Advisor: You need a kid FIRST.  Your kid needs a social insurance number.  I like where your head is at though.

    I found it very responsible and adorable that FI is worried so much about the welfare of a child that doesnt exist.  We will be TTC almost immediately.  If fertility problems arise we will seek treatment by 2016.  If treatment fails we start the adoption process.

    Our 5 year plan involves moving soon to a bigger place (renting is fine, we just need more room) another cat (that's in MY plan, not sure about FI's) a new car, and a child.  Once child #2 is on its way (if that is in the cards...if children are in the cards at all), we evaluate if I should stay at home until both kids enter school and then join the workforce once again.  Child care costs in my area are insane, and I refuse to leave them with FMIL even if that was an option.

    Our plans aren't set in stone.  I have elderly parents, and I worry about my dad quite a bit.  He is always in my thoughts for the future.  FI's family is also a bit of a wrench-thrower, but I can't read them just yet and I can't see which way they will bend fate.
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  • falsarafalsara member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    edited August 2014

    We have a 5 year plan and kinda a ten year plan, but we also have some things that are completely up in the air

    1. graduate from Undergrad in Dec 2015, hopefully have a job right when I Grad at a publishing house. Continue to work on my writing so I can become a published author.  

    2. May 2016 get married.  Possibly find a better apartment

    3. Dec 2016, FI graduates, and gets Day Job, Continues to pursue comedy on Nights/ weekends.

    4. FI will continue to pursue comedy and Hopefully become successful enough that he can help pay the bills without day Job.

    5. Once FI is where he wants to be career wise, we can look into moving to the Pacific Northwest, where he can pursue comedy in a city, and I can either, work as an editor, or work from home as a writer, if someone has decided to pick up my novel/ novels.  This includes buying our first home.

    6. If we are in a home, that we like, and are both doing well career wise and I'm doing well health wise, we can start TTC in the year 2021. 



    I know that's a lot to plan ahead, but me and FI are adamant that we don't want kids for a long time.  We also want to travel, and become successful doing not just our desk jobs, but our dream jobs. While I would love to find a condo or townhouse to buy for the years we will be in Chicago, he doesn't want to buy a house until we get to the place where we are settled.  All of the above plans are subject to change, with the exception of the first 3 mainly because I believe in the term - Semper Gumby (always flexible). 


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  • Our 5 year plan has changed a bit. We were originally going to start TTC in early 2015, but we're pushing that back. Right now the plan stands as:

    1. Pay off student loans in early 2015.

    2. Travel to Japan in fall of 2015.

    3. Make baby.

    4. Build house.

    There are some nuances in there yet. Right now the plan is I'll stay home with the kids, cause H makes significantly more than I do, and he wants them to go to shit like private school. He also thinks I can make more money with my art then I do selling mattresses. We'll see. H doesn't like his job, but he likes the money. I'm just worried that I won't actually make more money then I currently do, and the thought of going back into the workforce after being out so long scares me.
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  • Simky906Simky906 member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited August 2014
    We don't have a firm five year plan but we've got a few things figured out. Our lease will be up next May and we want to move to a cheaper place further out in the suburbs so we can boost our savings. FI is working in his MBA and should finish in December 2015 or May 2016 so we're definitely in the area until then. I'd kinda like to move somewhere else at that point at least for a couple years. Maybe Austin or Denver. FI isn't totally on board with that so we'll see. It's important to him to have an upwardly mobile career path, which he does at his current company.  

    We'll start TTC in late 2016 or 17 and I'll quit my job and start my part time master's program (in either instructional design or organizational development) after the baby is born. That's way I still have a focus and can work on my career goals while spending time with the baby. And if the baby is very well behaved we'll look into having a second one, probably 2-3 years after the first. If we have a lot of trouble TTC then we will probably only have one child as I don't think I want to deal with fertility treatments, etc multiple times.
  • doeydodoeydo member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited August 2014
    I guess so.  We live in an apartment and both work part time right now as I go to school.  After I graduate, I plan/hope on finding a good job in my field.  We will try to save money over time and when we have enough for a down payment on a house, we will buy one.  Then we can get a big dog (I want a Newf but he doesn't, he would prefer a smaller one like a doberman, which is still a fair size dog).  
    ETA   we both want to stay in our current small town and we don't want kids.
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited August 2014
    chibiyui said:
    Our 5 year plan has changed a bit. We were originally going to start TTC in early 2015, but we're pushing that back. Right now the plan stands as:

    1. Pay off student loans in early 2015.

    2. Travel to Japan in fall of 2015.

    3. Make baby.

    4. Build house.

    There are some nuances in there yet. Right now the plan is I'll stay home with the kids, cause H makes significantly more than I do, and he wants them to go to shit like private school. He also thinks I can make more money with my art then I do selling mattresses. We'll see. H doesn't like his job, but he likes the money. I'm just worried that I won't actually make more money then I currently do, and the thought of going back into the workforce after being out so long scares me.
    Sweetie, if I can do it, anybody can do it!  I stayed out longer than we had planned because my son was oxygen deprived at birth and developed severe ADD and mild Tourette's syndrom.  Fortunately, the doctors were there and did all the right things to save him.  He is a brilliant 31 year old super nerd geek now.  He makes more money than we do!
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  • We do have a five-year plan and we're finally at a point where we can start implementing it.

    Once we both got our Master's degrees and got jobs in our field, we started planning the wedding. We inherited some money shortly thereafter, so we were able to buy a house several years earlier than expected. We're planning to TTC as soon as we're married.

    For me, everything after that will revolve around if/when we have kids. I plan to be a working mom, but I fully expect the timing of having kids to impact my career trajectory. Once kids enter the picture, we'll take it as it comes.
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  • We don't really have a strictly structured 5-year plan. We know that we don't want kids. If something happened and I got pregnant, we'd deal, but it's not part of our vision for our lives. We also know that if we change our minds somewhere down the line, we'd rather adopt than have one the old-fashioned way.

    FI is happy in his current job, and the company treats him really well, so he has no plans of changing jobs while we're still here. We are planning on moving to the US sometime in the next 5-10 years though. We'd probably start in Iowa because FI's uncle is there.
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  • We have long term goals. Our five year goal is now looking like a 1 year goal due to canceling the wedding and saving a ton of money on the "new" wedding and some gifts we've received. 

    1 Year Goal - Pay off debt. Check.
    2 Year Goal - Save an ass-ton. Check.
    3 Year Goal - Move to the mountains. Get another dog. Probably next summer - my mom is terminally ill and I won't leave while she's alive.
    4 Year Goal - Make sure we like it and buy/build a house.

    And then it 's kind of up in the air. We don't want kids so that will free up some money. In a perfect world, H will have his own electrical company and I'll do the bookkeeping and stuff like that. Or he'd make enough so we can afford for me to be a stay at home dog mom and I can do more volunteering and rescuing. 

    Also, to the person with the DOCTORATE (!!!!!!!) who is embarrassed, ummm, relax. You have a freaking DOCTORATE. Neither H nor I even thought about going to college. Any kind of college. 
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  • We have had a 5/10/15 year plan since we started dating 6 years ago. The plan kind of looks like this now:
    1. Get married this December
    2. FI graduate from college (hopefully) May 2015
    3. FI finding a job. We really hope he finds a job near where we live now in our hometown so we don't have to move. If he finds a job making 8K more than me, we'll move. Anything else won't be worth it. He is doing Turf Management and wants to be a Golf Course Superintendent so he is in a very lucrative field.  I'm in Park and Rec where there are jobs literally everywhere. He has also lately been thinking baout working in the NCDOT or for UNC-CH as a Turf Engineer or Super so he can get state benefits.
    4. I will probably go back to school for my Masters in about a year or so. I want to go to NC State online and it is a 2-year program.
    5. Start TTC aroun dour 1 year anniversary.
    6. Build our house (we will rent until then).
    7. We want 3 kids
    8. I currently have 3 retirement plans. One with the tow I work for (401K), and two on my own (one invests my money in the stock market).
    9. I should be able to retire by the time I am 55 unless we can afford for me to be a SAHM until the kids go to Pre-K.

    I am a planner. I like to know what the future holds. But I'm smart enough to know that things don't always work out like we plan, so I plan around the changes too.

  • We're lucky to have a 2-3 year plan at any given moment. Since we've settled down and bought a house in an area we want to plant roots in, it feels less important. Just mostly for me to find a stable job and perhaps start TTC about a year after the wedding.
  • We have a basic plan. We'd like to buy a house in about three years. We're planning to stick around the Madison area so we've already started scoping out neighborhoods.

    We want to start trying for kids in 5 years or so. 


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  • I don't know if it's a 5 year plan.. But I do have the next couple of years planned. I plan to move to DC next fall (or depending on finances fall 2016) to work on my masters in social work. My FI doesn't want her master's but I encouraged her to still look into master's program (I'm not pressuring her though). We want to live in Maryland or Virginia and we plan to start fertility treatments in July of 2016. She really wants to coach in a non-profit league and I want to get a job in working with/for children with disabilities. We both do that now but we want to work in a larger setting to make more of an impact. Any knotties live in the DMV? How expensive is it?



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  • We have a 5 year plan ... and in some cases a 25 year plan. I want to buy a house in our neighborhood, but it's so expensive, so we're going to do the suburbs thing for awhile, pay off our house, move up the ladder ... we'll get there. Eventually.

    Having a plan doesn't mean you know exactly how you're going to get there and on what date. Having a plan just means you're having goals to work toward.

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  • @jakeia0112‌ I'm in the DMV and it can be pretty pricey here. A lot depends on metro accessibility; the closer you are to the city and a metro stop, the more expensive it will be. I suggest looking further out in Alexandria, Fairfax or PG county if you're looking for something cheaper.
  • larrygagalarrygaga member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited August 2014
    Not really. I'm applying to grad schools atm and he is just working and we may or may not plan a wedding (lol, we will)

    We live in Detroit and we don't really like it, we aren't really city folks and it's too hot down here. However, we are kind of stuck for the time being. 

    No kid plans yet, but I'm only 23!!!! So I'm still a kid myself and I will enjoy that.
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  • We had one last year. Fix our credit, save money, get married summer '15, buy a house the following summer, that fall I would hopefully be starting grad school. Somewhere in there (but after the wedding and house) make babies. 

    Then I lost my job, now we have more like a 5 day plan; pay the rent today make it to the next pay check to keep the lights on...For awhile we were down to just FI's income and our little bit of savings, now luckily I'm working, but making maybe 1/5 of what I used to. No wedding on the horizon anymore, I keep saying I'm fine with just going to the courthouse or a weekend in Reno. FI thinks I'll regret it later and want a PPD lol. 
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  • this is my answer to that question:

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  • Simky906 thank you so much. I'm going to look into those areas later! I appreciate it because I was so lost!



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  • @jakeia0112, I agree with Simky's recommendation to look a bit further outside the beltway.

    I'm currently looking to live somewhere off the orange line (or silver) in NOVA - a basic two bedroom condo runs around $2000/month not including utilities. I lived in a tiny apartment in Herndon for $850/month before that. 

    Make sure you know what kind of transportation you need and where you need to go before you decide on a location. 
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  • @jakeia0112‌ No problem! Feel free to pm me if you have any other questions
  • Uh, not in so many words, but we do have a plan. Right now, we're looking to move so my husband can move into a better position. He's in a super niche field and is very limited in terms of growth where we are now. We'll buy another fixer-upper and I'll focus on a new renovation project. I'll keep working in marketing, or I may move into real estate, maybe general contracting? I don't know, but I would love to make a career out of this whole tearing apart houses and putting them back together thing. I think it says something that I'm working at home and I had to fight the urge to paint a room. We plan on having our first child within the next two years and haven't yet figured out spacing for #2. I like 18 months but I worry that may be too close from a childcare perspective. Part of our move is to hopefully get to a place where I don't have to work full time and I can be at home with the kids until kindergarden. In five years, my husband hopes to be in a place where he can move into senior management with a bank. If we move to Charlotte, that may mean moving back to the west coast. If we're in Denver, it may mean moving back to CA. We'll have to see how that all works out. I don't really want to raise my kids in California, but family is there, and that is a big plus.
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