Registry and Gift Forum

Destination Wedding vs out of town wedding

lmriemerlmriemer member
5 Love Its First Comment
edited August 2014 in Registry and Gift Forum
What is the etiquette on gifting for a destination vs an out of town wedding. I am going to a destination wedding in Mexico next month and I'm not sure if a gift is required on top of my travel expenses. Typically the invite says "your presence is your present" for a "destination wedding" but this invite didn't say anything about it. Also, I am traveling out of state to a wedding where the groom and bride live and I feel that a gift is an obvious gesture in this case. What is the difference and what is the etiquette? Help!

Re: Destination Wedding vs out of town wedding

  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 Cowtown mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Regardless of the type of wedding, the invitation should never mention gifts of any kind. Only bridal shower invitations can mention registries as they are meant to be gift giving events.

    With any wedding, gifts are never required and it's up to the guest if they would like to contribute anything in the form of a gift- boxed gift, money, or just a card. So, I would do what is most comfortable for you and your situation.

     







    southernbelle0915chibiyui
  • Its inappropriate for a wedding invite to mention gifts at all (even the line about "your presence...").

    I would probably not bring a gift to a DW simply because of logistics with me carrying it there and them carrying it home... If they had a registry, I might consider having a gift shipped to their home.
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  • Good advice here, but you might consider XP'ing this in the Etiquette board as well.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker




  • The cost of your travel to a wedding does not have any significance for anyone but you.  You make the decision whether, or not, to attend a wedding. 
    It is customary for wedding guests to give a gift.  This may be sent directly to the bride's home.  Checks are easy gifts to accept at the wedding, but I think mailing them to the bride is a safer and better option.  The amount you choose to spend has nothing to do with wedding location or wedding costs.
    In the older days, wedding gifts were displayed at the wedding.  This hasn't been done for about 40 years in most parts of the USA.  I hope it never is revived.  It made me feel uncomfortable at the weddings I saw it done.

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  • MNVegasMNVegas member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited August 2014
    lmriemer said:
    What is the etiquette on gifting for a destination vs an out of town wedding. I am going to a destination wedding in Mexico next month and I'm not sure if a gift is required on top of my travel expenses. Typically the invite says "your presence is your present" for a "destination wedding" but this invite didn't say anything about it. Also, I am traveling out of state to a wedding where the groom and bride live and I feel that a gift is an obvious gesture in this case. What is the difference and what is the etiquette? Help!

    SITB: There should never be anything about gifts on wedding invitations even if it is to say no gifts. Really what and if you gift is totally up to you. If you can afford a gift and want to give one, then either ship a gift to the couple or send a check. If you cannot afford a gift in addition to your travel expenses, the a nice card would be fine.

    Viczaesar
  • Thank you for the advice. I will ship a gift or money to their homes for both weddings. I just read a lot of articles that said the etiquette for a destination wedding was not to give a gift. But clearly after what everyone stated- if I can afford it I should give it.

  • princessleia22princessleia22 Oceanfront Property in Arizona member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer

    Location of wedding, or your cost to attend, really shouldn't affect what is "expected" for gift.  Gifts should always be based on what you feel is appropriate or what you can afford. True, most people expect that high costs to travel to wedding may reduce amount spent on gift. And often bride/groom of "destination wedding", where everyone travels, will request that their guests not spend more on gifts, as they already spent significant sum on travel.  I had a destination wedding, where everyone traveled out of state, and 99% of my guests still sent gifts, even though we had verbally stated no gifts were necessary.

    Also, for destination wedding, especially out of country, if you do choose to provide a gift, you may want to send it to their home directly, so both you and bride/groom don't need to bother traveling with it. Also, for out of country, they may get stuck paying duty taxes on any gifts received at wedding. So, shipping gift to their home before or after wedding is usually best for everyone.

     

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