Mother of Bride/Groom outfits!

Kariabernathy

Okay I need help deciding what the mothers should wear!!! My dress is ivory with a champagne underlay, the tuxes are charcoal grey, and the bridesmaids are wearing plum. David's bridal suggested the mothers in navy and a wine red which I think looks beautiful. The grooms mother wants to wear champagne. I don't want it that matchy and feel like her dress will compete with mine in pictures. What should I do? I included pictures of my dress for reference!

slothiegal

Your dress is lovely, and your MOG's dress would not compete with it. They are adults and should wear whatever they will comfortable and beautiful in.

Bubblegum5586

First - your dress is stunning (although I am bias as I had a Ivory lace dress over champagne satin lol)

Second- you don't get to pick what the moms wear. I personally dislike when one of the moms wears ivory or champagne.... but she can if she wants.

peachy13

echoing PPs that your mother and your FMIL are the ones who decide what they're going to wear. If your FMIL wants to wear champagne, well.... unfortunately I don't think there's much you can do. I've heard some stories of the MOG actually wearing floor-length ivory dresses, or the same color as the bridesmaids, etc. 

In the end, no one is going to confuse the two of you in your beautiful dress. GL!

aurianna

Love your dress!! Don't worry; there's no way anyone else's dress will compete with it. And as far as pictures go, I assume your photographer will know the right way to position everyone so that pictures will still look great.

If the mothers are wearing something they picked themselves, that they feel beautiful in, then their feeling beautiful will reflect in the pictures and make them even better. So definitely let the mothers wear what they want.

abbyj700

Echoing PP's - you don't get to play dress up with the moms - though many brides try.

I took my mom and FMIL shopping - they both picked exactly what they felt happy and comfortable in. My mom is in pants, my FMIL is in a short dress - and both ladies will look happy and amazing. They both had no clue what they wanted, what "I wanted" and what was expected of them - and I told them they both were not allowed to come naked. :-)

PrettyGirlLost

Kariabernathy said:

Okay I need help deciding what the mothers should wear!!! My dress is ivory with a champagne underlay, the tuxes are charcoal grey, and the bridesmaids are wearing plum. David's bridal suggested the mothers in navy and a wine red which I think looks beautiful. The grooms mother wants to wear champagne. I don't want it that matchy and feel like her dress will compete with mine in pictures. What should I do? I included pictures of my dress for reference!

Your MIL and Mother should be the ones deciding what they will be wearing for your wedding.  They are grown women, they get to dress themselves.

Nothing anyone wears will "compete" with your dress in pictures.  That is absurd.  I'm wearing a Maggie dress that is ivory lace over light gold, and my MIL picked a champagne/taupe lace dress to wear and it is gorgeous:



I think you will be fine.  These are some champagne dresses and they still don't look bridal next to you:

southernbelle0915

Unless your FMIL is wearing a wedding dress, nothing she could wear would compete with that dress. It really is stunning and you look stunning in it. Please don't dictate anyone's dress except your BMs.

JCbride2015

@PrettyGirlLost‌ isn't that the same gown a SS posted that she thought was outrageous and her FMIL was trying to look like a bride? It's gorgeous!!!

ohannabelle

Mothers are guests. They are also at an age when they should be trusted to choose their own clothing. Champagne is completely appropriate, which is why so many MOB dresses are made in that color. 

The David's Bridal lady is out of line. Unless the Moms ask her, she shouldn't suggest that you choose their dresses.

PrettyGirlLost

JCbride2015 said:

@PrettyGirlLost‌ isn't that the same gown a SS posted that she thought was outrageous and her FMIL was trying to look like a bride? It's gorgeous!!!

I may have missed that one!

The dress I posted is from BHLDN and I know my FMIL didn't get hers there. . . I think she got it Nordstroms or something similar, BUT I swear that is the dress she showed me a few weeks ago.

I agree with you- it's gorgeous and I love it.

NYCMercedes

Is the MOG wearing a veil? Is she wearing a big poofy dress? If not, it really doesn't matter what color her dress is.

BMoreBride6

PrettyGirlLost said:

Kariabernathy said:

Okay I need help deciding what the mothers should wear!!! My dress is ivory with a champagne underlay, the tuxes are charcoal grey, and the bridesmaids are wearing plum. David's bridal suggested the mothers in navy and a wine red which I think looks beautiful. The grooms mother wants to wear champagne. I don't want it that matchy and feel like her dress will compete with mine in pictures. What should I do? I included pictures of my dress for reference!

Your MIL and Mother should be the ones deciding what they will be wearing for your wedding.  They are grown women, they get to dress themselves.

Nothing anyone wears will "compete" with your dress in pictures.  That is absurd.  I'm wearing a Maggie dress that is ivory lace over light gold, and my MIL picked a champagne/taupe lace dress to wear and it is gorgeous:



I think you will be fine.  These are some champagne dresses and they still don't look bridal next to you:

@prettygirllost, I knew for your signature that we had similar tastes!  My dress was Maggie Sottero Bernadette as well...ivory over light gold : ) and my MIL also wore a champagne colored dress.  It is no way competed with my dress, she looked lovely, and was comfortable.  Don't try to dictate what they wear.  It will all turn out fine regardless.  

mrscomposer

At my sister's wedding, she wore ivory, we girls wore champagne, my mom wore a dark-beige that tended towards grey, and my sister's MIL wore a lighter beige that tended towards cream.  The guys wore light beige suits.

It looked amazing.  I would post a picture, but I'm *mumblemumble atworkrightnowwithmajorrestrictionsonmyinternet*

Lauderdale Pink

Turns out my FDIL did not love the dress I wore to my daughter's wedding.  She had my son talk to my husband who made a suggestion to me.  I am kind of low key about stuff like that, so she probably could have just talked to me.  How are the MOB/MOG supposed to know the bride's preferences if nobody says anything?

kmmssg

Lauderdale Pink said:

Turns out my FDIL did not love the dress I wore to my daughter's wedding.  She had my son talk to my husband who made a suggestion to me.  I am kind of low key about stuff like that, so she probably could have just talked to me.  How are the MOB/MOG supposed to know the bride's preferences if nobody says anything?

The MOB and MOG shouldn't have to worry about the bride's preferences - she doesn't get to decide what they should wear.  NONE of my 4 girls even began to think like that when they were getting married.  If the MOB and MOG feel beautiful in what they are wearing they are already pointed in the right direction.  Your FDIL was rude to say anything

southernbelle0915

Lauderdale Pink said:

Turns out my FDIL did not love the dress I wore to my daughter's wedding.  She had my son talk to my husband who made a suggestion to me.  I am kind of low key about stuff like that, so she probably could have just talked to me.  How are the MOB/MOG supposed to know the bride's preferences if nobody says anything?

Her preferences don't matter. That's the point. Personally, I don't think beige is flattering on....well anyone. Did I tell people "no beige" at my wedding? No. Why? Because it affects me not at all if someone wears beige.

Its rude of a bride to dictate anyone's outfit except her own and that of her BMs. It gets into controlling bridezilla territory.

Bubblegum5586

kmmssg said:

Lauderdale Pink said:

Turns out my FDIL did not love the dress I wore to my daughter's wedding.  She had my son talk to my husband who made a suggestion to me.  I am kind of low key about stuff like that, so she probably could have just talked to me.  How are the MOB/MOG supposed to know the bride's preferences if nobody says anything?

The MOB and MOG shouldn't have to worry about the bride's preferences - she doesn't get to decide what they should wear.  NONE of my 4 girls even began to think like that when they were getting married.  If the MOB and MOG feel beautiful in what they are wearing they are already pointed in the right direction.  Your FDIL was rude to say anything

Both my mom and MIL asked me what I thought. When I said whatever they wanted they pushed for more so I suggested something in the blue/green color scheme and that I thought long would look great.

My aunt was the MOG before and her DIL told her she didn't like her dress so she got a new one. That totally shocked me, I can't imagine saying that to your FMIL!!!

beethery

LOL I can only imagine what might happen in the future if I have a FDIL or whoever saying, "omg Beethery, I think it would look better if you matched the wedding colors or didn't wear an xyz color dress."

My response would have to be, "Sucks, don't it?" and then I would not change shit because I am not a damn decoration.

wandajune6

FMIL still hasn't started looking for dresses and keeps asking me if I have an opinion. The only response that I could think of? A tongue-in-cheek "don't look better than me."

Seriously though, the PPs are right- she's an adult and can pick up her own clothing. She won't take away your spotlight. 

PrettyGirlLost

Lauderdale Pink said:

Turns out my FDIL did not love the dress I wore to my daughter's wedding.  She had my son talk to my husband who made a suggestion to me.  I am kind of low key about stuff like that, so she probably could have just talked to me.  How are the MOB/MOG supposed to know the bride's preferences if nobody says anything?

Oh FFS, just. . . *gag*!!!

If you are going to be passive aggressive about your micromanaging and control issues then at least have the brass to confront people directly.  Don't send other people to do your bidding.

I'm sorry your FDIL was so damn rude.  Good luck to your son in dealing with her in the future!

Lauderdale Pink

Sorry ladies, but I don't think my FDIL is rude in the least.  I think brides have one day in the sun and if they have a preference, then it is fine for them to let it be known.  I thought she was very sensitive to speak with my son first, and let him decide how the issue should be handled, but again, I am not at all picky about things like that.  I actually look horrible in the color she chose, so we talked about complimentary colors and I found a dress that I love. 

artbyallie

Lauderdale Pink said:

Sorry ladies, but I don't think my FDIL is rude in the least.  I think brides have one day in the sun and if they have a preference, then it is fine for them to let it be known.  I thought she was very sensitive to speak with my son first, and let him decide how the issue should be handled, but again, I am not at all picky about things like that.  I actually look horrible in the color she chose, so we talked about complimentary colors and I found a dress that I love. 

I just don't think it's 'sensitive' to make it known to someone that you hate what they're wearing and want them to change, no matter how one goes about it.

The point is that even brides don't get to pick what goes on someone else's body apart from their actual wedding attendants and then only to an extent.

I get that you weren't offended by what she did but it's still an objectively rude thing to do.

lc07

I personally would never wear champagne or ivory or white to a wedding. I think it's tacky. That said, I would never dictate what anyone else wears. I'd let them wear whatever they want and let people think whatever they want of it. It would not take away from my happiness on the day.

superblackcat

Lauderdale Pink said:

Sorry ladies, but I don't think my FDIL is rude in the least.  I think brides have one day in the sun and if they have a preference, then it is fine for them to let it be known.  I thought she was very sensitive to speak with my son first, and let him decide how the issue should be handled, but again, I am not at all picky about things like that.  I actually look horrible in the color she chose, so we talked about complimentary colors and I found a dress that I love. 

This shocks me...I mean I guess it's nice that your personal feelings weren't hurt, but I'd definitely be hurt. She's essentially reducing you to an object to be dressed up carefully so (I'm assuming) the "pictures look good." Please. 

This is why I truly believe it's rude to ask MOG/MOB to wear certain colors. You no longer care about their comfort or personal preferences anymore - just your color scheme. That seems unreasonably self-centered to me.

But really, OP, your dress is FABULOUS! Love it!! Don't let the David's Bridal make you nervous about colors. No one is going to show you up that day!

blushingbride8888

Your dress is gorgeous! Champagne will be fine - try not to stress over what your future MIL is wearing. You will look gorgeous and if for some reason she doesn't look appropriate, it's definitely a reflection of her and not of you. While navy and red would be lovely, champagne is definitely a popular MIL/MOB color, so I don't think it will stand out or compete with your gown.

MobKaz

Lauderdale Pink said:

Sorry ladies, but I don't think my FDIL is rude in the least.  I think brides have one day in the sun and if they have a preference, then it is fine for them to let it be known.  I thought she was very sensitive to speak with my son first, and let him decide how the issue should be handled, but again, I am not at all picky about things like that.  I actually look horrible in the color she chose, so we talked about complimentary colors and I found a dress that I love. 

What if she was dictating something you WERE picky about?  Would you feel differently then?  Perhaps you only wear flat soled shoes and she demanded everyone must wear 4 inch heels.  What if she insisted you wear a hat, wear a particular hair style, or go sleeveless?  (I'm personally self conscious about sleeveless items.)

It is rude for a bride to insist on attire issues for the MOB/MOG.  If you have a daughter, I hope you have taught her what NOT to do.

holyguacamole79

Lauderdale Pink said:

Sorry ladies, but I don't think my FDIL is rude in the least.  I think brides have one day in the sun and if they have a preference, then it is fine for them to let it be known.  I thought she was very sensitive to speak with my son first, and let him decide how the issue should be handled, but again, I am not at all picky about things like that.  I actually look horrible in the color she chose, so we talked about complimentary colors and I found a dress that I love. 

What if she had insisted on you staying in the color in which you looked horrible?

CMGragain

I couldn't buy anything for my own wedding until my narcissistic mother found HER dream dress.  It was aqua blue with fluttery sleeves.  Once she found it, she couldn't wait to wear it.
My MOH (sister) wore an old prom dress of mine, also aqua.  I found a bridal dress that fit me from a previous season sample sale.  My FMIL wanted to wear the coral gown she wore to her daughter's wedding.  Voila!  My colors were aqua and coral.
The whole idea that a bride actually thinks she can choose what the mothers wear blows my mind.

atlastmrsg

My mother and husband's mother picked their own dresses.  They're adults, they can wear what they want.  They both happened to pick navy, which I wasn't sure if they'd be sad (not distinctive) or happy (cohesive looking).  They didn't care either way.  So the pics looked nice--all very cohesive, they were happy wearing what they wanted, and everyone lived happily ever after.  

Let them buy what they want, only intervene if it's something insane like a cheetah catsuit.  A mom wore that to college parents' weekend at my school...and I still remember it...

Kauris

The only reason I tried to discourage my mom from wearing what she chose is because I think she is in great shape and looks great for her age and I thought the dress she chose aged her. Not because I have some silly vision or I thought someone might actually mistaken her for me! Although since she is almost 70 and barely looks 50, I do hope I take after her one day!!