Just another reason not to do a cash bar....

caitlinmca

I attended a wedding yesterday and was told that there would be 1 keg and once that ran out you would have to pay for anything else in addition if you wanted anything besides that you would have to pay for it as well as there was a bar attached to it. Well, I'm not one to ever carry cash on me as I live in a big city and this back near my hometown. I get to the wedding reception and find out that even the keg is cash, everything is cash and guess what, I don't have cash on me and do they accept debit..definitely not. So I have to leave the reception before it starts to go to my bank 5 minutes away and come back.

So please, don't do a cash bar without proper planning its tacky if your guests don't expect it. Granted, I didn't mind the cash bar once I was prepared as I'd rather have the option to buy a drink vs not drink at all since I recently went to a dry wedding but I would of liked to have some head's up to have some cash prior to.

[Deleted User]

NYCMercedes

caitlinmca said:

I attended a wedding yesterday and was told that there would be 1 keg and once that ran out you would have to pay for anything else in addition if you wanted anything besides that you would have to pay for it as well as there was a bar attached to it. Well, I'm not one to ever carry cash on me as I live in a big city and this back near my hometown. I get to the wedding reception and find out that even the keg is cash, everything is cash and guess what, I don't have cash on me and do they accept debit..definitely not. So I have to leave the reception before it starts to go to my bank 5 minutes away and come back.

So please, don't do a cash bar without proper planning its tacky if your guests don't expect it. Granted, I didn't mind the cash bar once I was prepared as I'd rather have the option to buy a drink vs not drink at all since I recently went to a dry wedding but I would of liked to have some head's up to have some cash prior to.

Tacky even with proper planning. This is the etiquette board.

caitlinmca

A redds apple ale was $2 or $3 dollars for a bottle which is what I normally drink so I can't complain, a glass of riesling was $2. I didn't get any mixed drinks, and thankfully there was only 5 kids there, and 3 were 7 months old, a month old and a year old, and were being held all night long and quite content.

caitlinmca

NYCMercedes said:

caitlinmca said:

I attended a wedding yesterday and was told that there would be 1 keg and once that ran out you would have to pay for anything else in addition if you wanted anything besides that you would have to pay for it as well as there was a bar attached to it. Well, I'm not one to ever carry cash on me as I live in a big city and this back near my hometown. I get to the wedding reception and find out that even the keg is cash, everything is cash and guess what, I don't have cash on me and do they accept debit..definitely not. So I have to leave the reception before it starts to go to my bank 5 minutes away and come back.

So please, don't do a cash bar without proper planning its tacky if your guests don't expect it. Granted, I didn't mind the cash bar once I was prepared as I'd rather have the option to buy a drink vs not drink at all since I recently went to a dry wedding but I would of liked to have some head's up to have some cash prior to.

Tacky even with proper planning. This is the etiquette board.

Don't get me wrong, I completely think it's improper which is why I refuse to have a cash bar...my venue only does their bar by consumption or cash bar they don't have a pay per person option...thus we taking our chances and going with a consumption bar. However, I'd rather be able make the decision whether I want to pay for my drink vs not having anything to drink at all so when it comes to that decision for a couple, at least warn your guests ahead of time. I'm not saying its the correct thing to do, but I would of been one less ticked off guest if I would of known to grab money prior too.

SammiNJonni

caitlinmca said:

NYCMercedes said:

caitlinmca said:

I attended a wedding yesterday and was told that there would be 1 keg and once that ran out you would have to pay for anything else in addition if you wanted anything besides that you would have to pay for it as well as there was a bar attached to it. Well, I'm not one to ever carry cash on me as I live in a big city and this back near my hometown. I get to the wedding reception and find out that even the keg is cash, everything is cash and guess what, I don't have cash on me and do they accept debit..definitely not. So I have to leave the reception before it starts to go to my bank 5 minutes away and come back.

So please, don't do a cash bar without proper planning its tacky if your guests don't expect it. Granted, I didn't mind the cash bar once I was prepared as I'd rather have the option to buy a drink vs not drink at all since I recently went to a dry wedding but I would of liked to have some head's up to have some cash prior to.

Tacky even with proper planning. This is the etiquette board.

Don't get me wrong, I completely think it's improper which is why I refuse to have a cash bar...my venue only does their bar by consumption or cash bar they don't have a pay per person option...thus we taking our chances and going with a consumption bar. However, I'd rather be able make the decision whether I want to pay for my drink vs not having anything to drink at all so when it comes to that decision for a couple, at least warn your guests ahead of time. I'm not saying its the correct thing to do, but I would of been one less ticked off guest if I would of known to grab money prior too.

Guests should never have to open their wallets. I think you are confused by what a dry wedding is since you said you would have liked to know to bring your wallet. A dry wedding is no alcohol period none there none for sale your wallet wouldn't help you. And a dry wedding is completely fine ettiquitte wise you should be able to have a good time without alcohol. 

caitlinmca

SammiNJonni said:

caitlinmca said:

NYCMercedes said:

caitlinmca said:

I attended a wedding yesterday and was told that there would be 1 keg and once that ran out you would have to pay for anything else in addition if you wanted anything besides that you would have to pay for it as well as there was a bar attached to it. Well, I'm not one to ever carry cash on me as I live in a big city and this back near my hometown. I get to the wedding reception and find out that even the keg is cash, everything is cash and guess what, I don't have cash on me and do they accept debit..definitely not. So I have to leave the reception before it starts to go to my bank 5 minutes away and come back.

So please, don't do a cash bar without proper planning its tacky if your guests don't expect it. Granted, I didn't mind the cash bar once I was prepared as I'd rather have the option to buy a drink vs not drink at all since I recently went to a dry wedding but I would of liked to have some head's up to have some cash prior to.

Tacky even with proper planning. This is the etiquette board.

Don't get me wrong, I completely think it's improper which is why I refuse to have a cash bar...my venue only does their bar by consumption or cash bar they don't have a pay per person option...thus we taking our chances and going with a consumption bar. However, I'd rather be able make the decision whether I want to pay for my drink vs not having anything to drink at all so when it comes to that decision for a couple, at least warn your guests ahead of time. I'm not saying its the correct thing to do, but I would of been one less ticked off guest if I would of known to grab money prior too.

Guests should never have to open their wallets. I think you are confused by what a dry wedding is since you said you would have liked to know to bring your wallet. A dry wedding is no alcohol period none there none for sale your wallet wouldn't help you. And a dry wedding is completely fine ettiquitte wise you should be able to have a good time without alcohol. 

Oh trust me, I know what a dry wedding is, FI sister just had one and it was completely boring. It was a spur of the moment wedding that was "supposed" to have 100 guests but only had about 25-30 with a potluck wedding reception, no alcohol just had bottled water, ice tea and fruit punch, the vows were done in 2 minutes and the wedding was over in 5. The bride stayed in her wedding dress for an hr then changed. I was ready to leave after an hr.

Thus, never attending a dry wedding, I hope to never attend one again, unless they actually know how to have fun and party and entertain their guests.

Edit: nobody also bothered to get on the dance floor either during FI sisters reception.

Teddy917

caitlinmca said:

SammiNJonni said:

caitlinmca said:

NYCMercedes said:

caitlinmca said:

I attended a wedding yesterday and was told that there would be 1 keg and once that ran out you would have to pay for anything else in addition if you wanted anything besides that you would have to pay for it as well as there was a bar attached to it. Well, I'm not one to ever carry cash on me as I live in a big city and this back near my hometown. I get to the wedding reception and find out that even the keg is cash, everything is cash and guess what, I don't have cash on me and do they accept debit..definitely not. So I have to leave the reception before it starts to go to my bank 5 minutes away and come back.

So please, don't do a cash bar without proper planning its tacky if your guests don't expect it. Granted, I didn't mind the cash bar once I was prepared as I'd rather have the option to buy a drink vs not drink at all since I recently went to a dry wedding but I would of liked to have some head's up to have some cash prior to.

Tacky even with proper planning. This is the etiquette board.

Don't get me wrong, I completely think it's improper which is why I refuse to have a cash bar...my venue only does their bar by consumption or cash bar they don't have a pay per person option...thus we taking our chances and going with a consumption bar. However, I'd rather be able make the decision whether I want to pay for my drink vs not having anything to drink at all so when it comes to that decision for a couple, at least warn your guests ahead of time. I'm not saying its the correct thing to do, but I would of been one less ticked off guest if I would of known to grab money prior too.

Guests should never have to open their wallets. I think you are confused by what a dry wedding is since you said you would have liked to know to bring your wallet. A dry wedding is no alcohol period none there none for sale your wallet wouldn't help you. And a dry wedding is completely fine ettiquitte wise you should be able to have a good time without alcohol. 


Oh trust me, I know what a dry wedding is, FI sister just had one and it was completely boring. It was a spur of the moment wedding that was "supposed" to have 100 guests but only had about 25-30 with a potluck wedding reception, no alcohol just had bottled water, ice tea and fruit punch, the vows were done in 2 minutes and the wedding was over in 5. The bride stayed in her wedding dress for an hr then changed. I was ready to leave after an hr.

Thus, never attending a dry wedding, I hope to never attend one again, unless they actually know how to have fun and party and entertain their guests.

Edit: nobody also bothered to get on the dance floor either during FI sisters reception.


The problems with that wedding had absolutely nothing to do with the lack of alcohol. Length of ceremony also is not a problem. Nobody dancing is everybody's choice. If only 30 people showed up, that wasn't the B&G's fault. The only problem that I can see is the potluck reception.

theartistformerlyknownas

Oh hell no. If I have to leave to get cash, I'm just leaving, period.

Fairyjen1

caitlinmca said:

So please, don't do a cash bar without proper planning its tacky if your guests don't expect it. Granted, I didn't mind the cash bar once I was prepared as I'd rather have the option to buy a drink vs not drink at all since I recently went to a dry wedding but I would of liked to have some head's up to have some cash prior to.

     I don't condone a cash bar and I certainly won't have one (we are hosting beer, wine and soda at a lunch time wedding). But the bolded attitude is part of the problem and why I think so many people have them anyway. A dry wedding is viewed as inferior. The attitude tends to be if you can't afford alcohol you better just go to the courthouse and forgo the big party because your wedding will suck. I realize not everyone thinks this, but I've seen this sentiment repeated often enough that I can see why people might feel they have to have a cash bar rather than no bar if that's all they can afford. 

    I also can't imagine going anywhere without at least some cash in my purse, but apparently that's common at weddings. Then again, cash bars abound in my circle. I've also been to dry weddings that I had a great time at, but I'm not a big drinker anyway. 

misshart00

Fairyjen1 said:

caitlinmca said:

So please, don't do a cash bar without proper planning its tacky if your guests don't expect it. Granted, I didn't mind the cash bar once I was prepared as I'd rather have the option to buy a drink vs not drink at all since I recently went to a dry wedding but I would of liked to have some head's up to have some cash prior to.

     I don't condone a cash bar and I certainly won't have one (we are hosting beer, wine and soda at a lunch time wedding). But the bolded attitude is part of the problem and why I think so many people have them anyway. A dry wedding is viewed as inferior. The attitude tends to be if you can't afford alcohol you better just go to the courthouse and forgo the big party because your wedding will suck. I realize not everyone thinks this, but I've seen this sentiment repeated often enough that I can see why people might feel they have to have a cash bar rather than no bar if that's all they can afford. 

    I also can't imagine going anywhere without at least some cash in my purse, but apparently that's common at weddings. Then again, cash bars abound in my circle. I've also been to dry weddings that I had a great time at, but I'm not a big drinker anyway. 

I had a dry wedding and being around here sometimes makes me feel like my wedding sucked for that reason.

JoanE2012

Fairyjen1 said:

caitlinmca said:

So please, don't do a cash bar without proper planning its tacky if your guests don't expect it. Granted, I didn't mind the cash bar once I was prepared as I'd rather have the option to buy a drink vs not drink at all since I recently went to a dry wedding but I would of liked to have some head's up to have some cash prior to.

     I don't condone a cash bar and I certainly won't have one (we are hosting beer, wine and soda at a lunch time wedding). But the bolded attitude is part of the problem and why I think so many people have them anyway. A dry wedding is viewed as inferior. The attitude tends to be if you can't afford alcohol you better just go to the courthouse and forgo the big party because your wedding will suck. I realize not everyone thinks this, but I've seen this sentiment repeated often enough that I can see why people might feel they have to have a cash bar rather than no bar if that's all they can afford. 

    I also can't imagine going anywhere without at least some cash in my purse, but apparently that's common at weddings. Then again, cash bars abound in my circle. I've also been to dry weddings that I had a great time at, but I'm not a big drinker anyway. 

I would much rather attend a dry wedding than a cash bar wedding.  Why should I have to finance part of someone's wedding?  Why couldn't they cut the guest list?  Cut other expenses?  Saved up a little longer?  I'm so sick of couples wanting alcohol but then passing along the expense to the guests.  Why stop there?  Why not offer lobster for an additional fee?  Or tiramisu instead of wedding cake for a few extra dollars?

Viczaesar

misshart00 said:

caitlinmca said:

So please, don't do a cash bar without proper planning its tacky if your guests don't expect it. Granted, I didn't mind the cash bar once I was prepared as I'd rather have the option to buy a drink vs not drink at all since I recently went to a dry wedding but I would of liked to have some head's up to have some cash prior to.

     I don't condone a cash bar and I certainly won't have one (we are hosting beer, wine and soda at a lunch time wedding). But the bolded attitude is part of the problem and why I think so many people have them anyway. A dry wedding is viewed as inferior. The attitude tends to be if you can't afford alcohol you better just go to the courthouse and forgo the big party because your wedding will suck. I realize not everyone thinks this, but I've seen this sentiment repeated often enough that I can see why people might feel they have to have a cash bar rather than no bar if that's all they can afford. 

    I also can't imagine going anywhere without at least some cash in my purse, but apparently that's common at weddings. Then again, cash bars abound in my circle. I've also been to dry weddings that I had a great time at, but I'm not a big drinker anyway. 

I had a dry wedding and being around here sometimes makes me feel like my wedding sucked for that reason.

If it makes you feel any better, all my family weddings have been dry weddings.  Most of the time I didn't even notice until afterward.

SammiNJonni

misshart00 said:

caitlinmca said:

So please, don't do a cash bar without proper planning its tacky if your guests don't expect it. Granted, I didn't mind the cash bar once I was prepared as I'd rather have the option to buy a drink vs not drink at all since I recently went to a dry wedding but I would of liked to have some head's up to have some cash prior to.

     I don't condone a cash bar and I certainly won't have one (we are hosting beer, wine and soda at a lunch time wedding). But the bolded attitude is part of the problem and why I think so many people have them anyway. A dry wedding is viewed as inferior. The attitude tends to be if you can't afford alcohol you better just go to the courthouse and forgo the big party because your wedding will suck. I realize not everyone thinks this, but I've seen this sentiment repeated often enough that I can see why people might feel they have to have a cash bar rather than no bar if that's all they can afford. 

    I also can't imagine going anywhere without at least some cash in my purse, but apparently that's common at weddings. Then again, cash bars abound in my circle. I've also been to dry weddings that I had a great time at, but I'm not a big drinker anyway. 

I had a dry wedding and being around here sometimes makes me feel like my wedding sucked for that reason.

I would have enjoyed your wedding. And I know it did not suck. 

larrygaga

I just went to a wedding where the groom's father said it was an open bar all night, and he was paying for all of it. During the reception dinner, he decided he was only paying for beer, which came out of the keg he brought. It ran out within a few hours. (it was a huge wedding) It turned into a cash bar until the bride's mother found out and picked up the tab.

I feel really bad for her, she was so embarrassed. Thankfully nobody told the B+G, so they didn't have to deal with the problem. I know they would be really upset if they knew about it during the reception. 

It's fine if a parent doesn't want to pay for something, but it is awful to decide that during the reception dinner. Who does that? Seriously. I don't care what the circumstances are, his father is a complete douche.

afaber24

Fairyjen1 said:

caitlinmca said:

So please, don't do a cash bar without proper planning its tacky if your guests don't expect it. Granted, I didn't mind the cash bar once I was prepared as I'd rather have the option to buy a drink vs not drink at all since I recently went to a dry wedding but I would of liked to have some head's up to have some cash prior to.

     I don't condone a cash bar and I certainly won't have one (we are hosting beer, wine and soda at a lunch time wedding). But the bolded attitude is part of the problem and why I think so many people have them anyway. A dry wedding is viewed as inferior. The attitude tends to be if you can't afford alcohol you better just go to the courthouse and forgo the big party because your wedding will suck. I realize not everyone thinks this, but I've seen this sentiment repeated often enough that I can see why people might feel they have to have a cash bar rather than no bar if that's all they can afford. 

    I also can't imagine going anywhere without at least some cash in my purse, but apparently that's common at weddings. Then again, cash bars abound in my circle. I've also been to dry weddings that I had a great time at, but I'm not a big drinker anyway. 

I totally agree! It does suck that people really need the alcohol to consider the wedding a fun event, but I do feel like its true.

I've never been to a dry wedding and I totally wouldn't mind one. However, I could not see H and I sticking around very long at one either. We'd eat, maybe dance once, and then head home. If that's the event you're looking for a dry wedding would be very nice.

In my area, partial cash bars are the total norm. At least 26 of the 30 or so weddings I've been to host beer and wine, but hard alcohol is cash.

I'd always prefer just some alcohol options being hosted. Beer, wine, and signature drinks are always my favorite. I wouldn't mind a dry wedding, but I very likely would not be hanging around very long.

misshart00

afaber24 said:

Fairyjen1 said:

caitlinmca said:

So please, don't do a cash bar without proper planning its tacky if your guests don't expect it. Granted, I didn't mind the cash bar once I was prepared as I'd rather have the option to buy a drink vs not drink at all since I recently went to a dry wedding but I would of liked to have some head's up to have some cash prior to.

     I don't condone a cash bar and I certainly won't have one (we are hosting beer, wine and soda at a lunch time wedding). But the bolded attitude is part of the problem and why I think so many people have them anyway. A dry wedding is viewed as inferior. The attitude tends to be if you can't afford alcohol you better just go to the courthouse and forgo the big party because your wedding will suck. I realize not everyone thinks this, but I've seen this sentiment repeated often enough that I can see why people might feel they have to have a cash bar rather than no bar if that's all they can afford. 

    I also can't imagine going anywhere without at least some cash in my purse, but apparently that's common at weddings. Then again, cash bars abound in my circle. I've also been to dry weddings that I had a great time at, but I'm not a big drinker anyway. 

I totally agree! It does suck that people really need the alcohol to consider the wedding a fun event, but I do feel like its true.

I've never been to a dry wedding and I totally wouldn't mind one. However, I could not see H and I sticking around very long at one either. We'd eat, maybe dance once, and then head home. If that's the event you're looking for a dry wedding would be very nice.

In my area, partial cash bars are the total norm. At least 26 of the 30 or so weddings I've been to host beer and wine, but hard alcohol is cash.

I'd always prefer just some alcohol options being hosted. Beer, wine, and signature drinks are always my favorite. I wouldn't mind a dry wedding, but I very likely would not be hanging around very long.

And this is exactly what I'm talking about with my earlier comment.

slothiegal

misshart00 said:

caitlinmca said:

So please, don't do a cash bar without proper planning its tacky if your guests don't expect it. Granted, I didn't mind the cash bar once I was prepared as I'd rather have the option to buy a drink vs not drink at all since I recently went to a dry wedding but I would of liked to have some head's up to have some cash prior to.

     I don't condone a cash bar and I certainly won't have one (we are hosting beer, wine and soda at a lunch time wedding). But the bolded attitude is part of the problem and why I think so many people have them anyway. A dry wedding is viewed as inferior. The attitude tends to be if you can't afford alcohol you better just go to the courthouse and forgo the big party because your wedding will suck. I realize not everyone thinks this, but I've seen this sentiment repeated often enough that I can see why people might feel they have to have a cash bar rather than no bar if that's all they can afford. 

    I also can't imagine going anywhere without at least some cash in my purse, but apparently that's common at weddings. Then again, cash bars abound in my circle. I've also been to dry weddings that I had a great time at, but I'm not a big drinker anyway. 

I had a dry wedding and being around here sometimes makes me feel like my wedding sucked for that reason.

Awwww.  I can completely understand that sentiment, what with some of the posts I've seen before.  

Your wedding did not suck, I'm 100% sure of that.  DH and I have a dry wedding to attend in a couple weeks, and, despite the fact that we love gettin' our drank on, we're psyched!  It's his younger cousin who is just a doll and I'm so excited to meet her FI.  Plus, I get to hang out with my ILs, who I ADORE, including my younger SIL who just started college and I can't wait to catch up with her.  Plus, it's back in my old stomping grounds of DC, holla.  PLUS there's some rumors of a sundae bar floating around, mmmmm.  

What I'm trying to say is, some people may think that dry weddings aren't as "good".  I think that's bullshit, 'cause there's so much other fun stuff at weddings!  Besides, I can get myself a glass of wine in the hotel bar when I go home for the night.  No biggie.  

katiebelle2882

I have never been to one, but anyone who ever has been to a dry wedding always says it was the worst they ever went to. I don't think anyone I know would actually attend one unless it was a best friend or family member (and even then I would probably opt out unless it was close by). Frankly unless your family is super religious (and if that's the case that's cool) people want to drink/dance at weddings. If you can't afford alcohol you should cut your guest list until you can since the only people that will stick around for any length of time at a dry one (or even go to one) are your closest friends and family anyway. To me you are hosting a party for your guests and you want them to have fun (that is the general consensus around here since it's NOT just "your" day. Know your guests and unless its your church group or no one really drinks bc of religious reasons I would say a dry wedding doesn't fly well with many people. I haven't ever been to a wedding that was even a partial cash bar (just beer and wine) much less a dry wedding. Most people I know would frown upon anything less than a full bar.

I was just reading the Christian (I'm Catholic) weddings threads and some people there have a dry wedding combined with no dancing or music. Isn't the result just a large dinner for a bunch of people you know? Cannot even imagine!

Liatris2010

katiebelle2882 said:

I have never been to one, but anyone who ever has been to a dry wedding always says it was the worst they ever went to. I don't think anyone I know would actually attend one unless it was a best friend or family member (and even then I would probably opt out unless it was close by). Frankly unless your family is super religious (and if that's the case that's cool) people want to drink/dance at weddings. If you can't afford alcohol you should cut your guest list until you can since the only people that will stick around for any length of time at a dry one (or even go to one) are your closest friends and family anyway. To me you are hosting a party for your guests and you want them to have fun (that is the general consensus around here since it's NOT just "your" day. Know your guests and unless its your church group or no one really drinks bc of religious reasons I would say a dry wedding doesn't fly well with many people. I haven't ever been to a wedding that was even a partial cash bar (just beer and wine) much less a dry wedding. Most people I know would frown upon anything less than a full bar.

I was just reading the Christian (I'm Catholic) weddings threads and some people there have a dry wedding combined with no dancing or music. Isn't the result just a large dinner for a bunch of people you know? Cannot even imagine!

Good guests accept what they are offered graciously. They do not advise their hosts that cutting the guest list to be able to host booze would have made for a better party. Rude.

misshart00

katiebelle2882 said:

I have never been to one, but anyone who ever has been to a dry wedding always says it was the worst they ever went to. I don't think anyone I know would actually attend one unless it was a best friend or family member (and even then I would probably opt out unless it was close by). Frankly unless your family is super religious (and if that's the case that's cool) people want to drink/dance at weddings. If you can't afford alcohol you should cut your guest list until you can since the only people that will stick around for any length of time at a dry one (or even go to one) are your closest friends and family anyway. To me you are hosting a party for your guests and you want them to have fun (that is the general consensus around here since it's NOT just "your" day. Know your guests and unless its your church group or no one really drinks bc of religious reasons I would say a dry wedding doesn't fly well with many people. I haven't ever been to a wedding that was even a partial cash bar (just beer and wine) much less a dry wedding. Most people I know would frown upon anything less than a full bar.

I was just reading the Christian (I'm Catholic) weddings threads and some people there have a dry wedding combined with no dancing or music. Isn't the result just a large dinner for a bunch of people you know? Cannot even imagine!

Wow. Just wow. It's so good to know that alcohol is more important to you than seeing the people you supposedly love get married.

PrettyGirlLost

katiebelle2882 said:

I have never been to one, but anyone who ever has been to a dry wedding always says it was the worst they ever went to.   Nope, I've been to at least two and they were a blast.  And I'm the hottest bitch in the place, so my opinion trumps your "anyones."  I don't think anyone I know would actually attend one unless it was a best friend or family member (and even then I would probably opt out unless it was close by).   Frankly unless your family is super religious (and if that's the case that's cool) people want to drink/dance at weddings.  Yeah people can want a lot of things, but there is a huge difference between wanting a drink at a wedding and choosing not to go to a wedding of a friend or family member because it's dry.  One of FI's cousins actually skipped out on another cousin's wedding because it was dry- due to religious reasons- but this cousin, that skipped, is kind of an ass to begin with soooooo. . . what does that say?  If you can't afford alcohol you should cut your guest list until you can since the only people that will stick around for any length of time at a dry one (or even go to one) are your closest friends and family anyway.  Wow, well Bless your Heart.  To me you are hosting a party for your guests and you want them to have fun (that is the general consensus around here since it's NOT just "your" day. Know your guests and unless its your church group or no one really drinks bc of religious reasons I would say a dry wedding doesn't fly well with many people. I haven't ever been to a wedding that was even a partial cash bar (just beer and wine) much less a dry wedding. Most people I know would frown upon anything less than a full bar.  Hahaha, what a bunch of entitled snobs!  No really, you all sound like gems.  Bring a fucking flask of your fav, cheap ass liquor if you can't handle anything else besides an open bar.    Hey guess what, we are having a limited bar ( 5 wines, 3 beers, signature drink) because we wanted to use the extra money that would have gone into a full open bar on the food, instead of well liquor.  And IMO, if my guests can't be content with awesome fucking food and the drinks we are hosting, and want to throw shade over hard alcohol, they are free to GTFO- literally.  And I suggest they GTFO to the nearest AA meeting if liquor is that much of a priority in their lives. 

Oh wait!  My friends and family aren't assholes like that, of phew!  Dodged a bullet on that one *rolls eyes.*

I was just reading the Christian (I'm Catholic) weddings threads and some people there have a dry wedding combined with no dancing or music. Isn't the result just a large dinner for a bunch of people you know? Cannot even imagine!

I know, I know, she's a troll, but I felt like feeding her.

thisismynickname2

I agree with the comments that say that couples probably have cash bar out of pressure to have some alcohol, even if they can't afford it. I'm sympathetic to that.

I've only been to one wedding where guests had to pay for alcohol (soft drinks and whatnot were unlimited) and it was entirely low-budget.  It's not like this couple splurged on pointless things like designer dresses and linens, at the expense of properly hosting. 

I think couples just don't know. It's coming to etiquette boards like this that can help. The couple I'm referring to could have had a dry wedding and it would have still been fun. I didn't buy any drinks and there were plenty of us on that dance floor all afternoon.  They're some of the kindest people I know and I don't think they have any idea that part of their wedding was a faux-pas.

 

Ndelible

Alcohol is very expensive, depending on where your event is going to be. This is particularly true at venues where they do not allow outside alcohol. It's a difficult decision. We decided on hosting soft drinks, beer and wine. There will not be other options available at the bar. It costs almost as much money as the food. Sigh.

Ndelible

Did I mention that our suite will be stocked to the hilt for those who want to drop in for a short chat? Gotta love Costco!

[Deleted User]

mrs4everhart

katiebelle2882 said:

I have never been to one, but anyone who ever has been to a dry wedding always says it was the worst they ever went to. I don't think anyone I know would actually attend one unless it was a best friend or family member (and even then I would probably opt out unless it was close by). Frankly unless your family is super religious (and if that's the case that's cool) people want to drink/dance at weddings. If you can't afford alcohol you should cut your guest list until you can since the only people that will stick around for any length of time at a dry one (or even go to one) are your closest friends and family anyway. To me you are hosting a party for your guests and you want them to have fun (that is the general consensus around here since it's NOT just "your" day. Know your guests and unless its your church group or no one really drinks bc of religious reasons I would say a dry wedding doesn't fly well with many people. I haven't ever been to a wedding that was even a partial cash bar (just beer and wine) much less a dry wedding. Most people I know would frown upon anything less than a full bar.

I was just reading the Christian (I'm Catholic) weddings threads and some people there have a dry wedding combined with no dancing or music. Isn't the result just a large dinner for a bunch of people you know? Cannot even imagine!

Wow. What a lousy attitude to have and share publicly. And to post it while there are people actively stating they're concerned (most likely needlessly) that their wedding "sucked" (which it probably didn't) because they had a dry wedding you go and post that trash. That's just mean spirited. And I don't throw around the M-word often.

I may not agree with the majority of views found on this site very often, and I'm okay with that. But what you just posted was ignorant, rude and frankly, pretty immature. I don't really care if there's some sort of sanctioning for breaking the TOS. You should really just go shit in your hat and pull it over your ears.

caitlinmca

This wedding that I went to that had the cash bar, didn't really splurge on anything except maybe the limo and these favors of shot glasses that said "thank you, bride and groom names and the date filled with green mint m&ms" at each table that could of been left out. Her dress was a normal bridal looking dress, nothing that seemed outrageously expensive. It was a wedding on a budget--the centerpieces were centerpieces from our other cousins wedding last year.

Otherwise, dinner was spaghetti type pasta or ravioli with a marinara or a Alfredo sauce. salad and bread sticks, and some type of meat that I'm not sure if it was beef or pork or cut up cube steak then cake and cupcakes. Then the cash bar that was only $2-3 dollars a drink not $5-7 dollars that most places you would think it would be.

I'll admit, I'm one of those "need alcohol at a wedding" people because I've only attended 1 dry wedding (no alcohol just water and punch) and I'm just used to B & G hosted bar (limited bar to full liquor, beer, wine) in the multiple weddings that I've been to it was a little blah where then were absolutely no alcohol involved. I come from a big party/drinking family and heck when nobody is dancing on the dance floor, and it's also complete silence at your table it makes things even more awkward.

For FI and I's wedding, we are doing a consumption bar as that is the only option at our venue besides a cash bar, and I refuse to do a cash bar. We aren't doing programs as our ceremony is only 15 or so minutes and isn't in a church, nor too religious. My mom bought my dress as that is my wedding gift from her. No limo or anything as the ceremony and reception are at the same venue. To save money we did our save the dates off etsy from a pdf file for $15 dollars then printed them for $25, after buying envelopes it only cost us around $50 dollars for our STD's rather than using a wedding website we are doing the same for our invites. DIY'ing our centerpieces then our vases for our centerpieces are being loaned to us by our cake lady (my boss at work). I'd rather scratch out what I don't need so I can have good food and an open bar. There's no way I could have a dry wedding for myself.

katiebelle2882

Let me remind people that this is the same board where people are offended that the people they supposedly "love" aren't getting "legally married right in front of them " (as if that matters if they are your friend and the bottom line is it does NOT affect your good time). To me that is far more ridiculous position than being PO'd that people don't serve alcohol.

Another thing that is very much stressed on this board is that it isnt your day (which is true). You should be providing the best time for your guests as possible. If your guests like to enjoy themselves at weddings bc they are generally drinkers (if they don't it's a non issue) than i consider it rude to not offer it. If you cannot afford it cut the guest list or something else (flowers etc) until you can. It's very simple.

And no, I am not a troll- many of you ladies have no problem being rude about things as long as it's something you agree with.

In all actuality I think it's perfectly acceptable to offer just beer and wine- and forgo signature drinks and a full bar. It's not needed and is just an extra cost.

badbnagdway

katiebelle2882 said:

I was just reading the Christian (I'm Catholic) weddings threads and some people there have a dry wedding combined with no dancing or music. Isn't the result just a large dinner for a bunch of people you know? Cannot even imagine!

I love a good bourbon but I think a large dinner for a bunch of people I know actually sounds like a great event. 

Viczaesar

katiebelle2882 said:

I have never been to one, but anyone who ever has been to a dry wedding always says it was the worst they ever went to. I don't think anyone I know would actually attend one unless it was a best friend or family member (and even then I would probably opt out unless it was close by). Frankly unless your family is super religious (and if that's the case that's cool) people want to drink/dance at weddings. If you can't afford alcohol you should cut your guest list until you can since the only people that will stick around for any length of time at a dry one (or even go to one) are your closest friends and family anyway. To me you are hosting a party for your guests and you want them to have fun (that is the general consensus around here since it's NOT just "your" day. Know your guests and unless its your church group or no one really drinks bc of religious reasons I would say a dry wedding doesn't fly well with many people. I haven't ever been to a wedding that was even a partial cash bar (just beer and wine) much less a dry wedding. Most people I know would frown upon anything less than a full bar.

I was just reading the Christian (I'm Catholic) weddings threads and some people there have a dry wedding combined with no dancing or music. Isn't the result just a large dinner for a bunch of people you know? Cannot even imagine!

Really?  Because here's someone who has been to dry weddings and they in no way have been the worst weddings I've been to.  What a ridiculous generalization.