I think I hate my dress!

leggiebride

Hi all... I'm new here. I'm about 9 months from my wedding. I bought a dress last month (Allure W315) and I'm realizing that I absolutely hate it! My actual dress won't be in until March 2015 and my wedding is June 12, 2015. I think I got wrapped up in the moment... My mom and sister loved the dress but now when I look back at the pictures I despise it! I had things I wanted... Lace, no bling, 3/4 sleeves, covered back. Well, this dress is lace... And that's about it. I hate the cap sleeves... They cut my arms off at a weird point. I hate the open back... It makes me feel self conscious, and I just don't know what to do! I'm 6'1" so I had to order the dress with extra length, it's going to need massive alterations (it had to be ordered way bigger than I needed because I'm wide in my rib cage but the alterations lady assured me it will be altered to fit me... Like in street clothes, I'm a 10 and this is a 14W!!) and I don't think I like it enough to warrant having it taken apart. BUT because I am so tall, I can't just wait until the dress is here in March and then decide... I wouldn't have enough time to get another dress in. I've already paid $700 on the gown and this bridal place does absolutely no returns or exchanges. I'm just in an absolute panic now. Has anyone had any luck selling unworn dresses? I'm considering finding another dress and trying to sell this one once it's in. I can't imagine that adding 3/4 sleeves is an option... And then I still have the keyhole back that I hate... Ugh! It's not like I have this kind of money to burn! Any advice?

Maggie0829

If you absolutely hate it then try to sell it when it comes in and buy a new dress.  You have plenty of time to buy something and have it ordered in.  You may need to rethink your budget because you will have no way of knowing whether or not you will be able to sell your original dress.

As for the size, don't concern yourself over what they needed to order the dress in because wedding sizes are all over the place.  No one but you will know what size the dress is unless you decide to announce it to the world.  You have to order what will fit you not the size you wish you could wear.

Once your original dress comes in try listing it on the classified boards on here and on preownedweddingdresses.com (heck you could even look on here and see if you find something that you love) and also ebay.  Just know that you will not make all your money back.  Like a car, once you buy a wedding dress and take it from the store the value of that dress drops tremendously.  But since it will have never been worn or altered you may be able to make more then normal.

When you go shopping again, may I suggest you go by yourself and that way you can really concentrate on what you want rather then being swayed by other people's opinions.

lookame3639

Go back to the bridal store and try the dress on again, perhaps by yourself this time. Think about what made you want the dress in the first place, you may wind up liking it again. If you still hate it you can search again and try to post the dress for sale when it comes in.

QueerFemme

I agree about going back and trying on the dress again to see if you change your mind. But, if you hate it, and you can afford it, maybe go shopping again by yourself or with one trusted friend.

You'll have to pay the balance on your existing dress and try to re-sell it, but realize, that even unworn, unaltered dresses sell for about 50-60% of their original purchase price.  So you won't get anywhere close to what you paid for it.

missdelilah

i agree with the suggestions from PPs.  However, I wouldn't go back to the salon you originally used.  There's no way they'll give you a refund, exchange, or even a good price on a second dress.  I'd just avoid them completely to avoid any awkwardness, and see if you can find another boutique that has the sample you need.

Take a look online at other dresses that you think you'll like, and see if you can find someone who has the samples.  

Alternately, you could have a lace bolero attached to the dress, which would cover the back and give you the sleeve length you're after.  That's the least expensive solution.

I have no idea what your budget is, but here are a few ideas I had that I think meet your criteria (although you didn't mention dress shape or length).  

You're just getting a bunch of Justin Alexander suggestions because I bought a dress from him, so am familiar with the collection.  If you like any of these, we can certainly help you look for similar styles in different price ranges.

http://www.justinalexanderbridal.com/wedding_dresses/8712

http://www.justinalexanderbridal.com/wedding_dresses/8729

http://www.justinalexanderbridal.com/wedding_dresses/8684 - I'm fairly sure you can get that belt removed.

http://www.justinalexanderbridal.com/wedding_dresses/8695

Good luck!

MandyMost

First, when you said you had to order the dress in a much larger size than you normally wear, I was expecting you to have ordered a size 18 or 20, not a 14! Wedding dresses are notoriously smaller than street sizes....I hear it's because they've mostly stayed the same over time, whereas street sizes have changed pretty drastically. The seamstresses know what they're doing....it will be quite simple to make the dress fit you.

That being said, before you panic (even more), why don't you take the picture to a few seamstresses and discuss options. For instance, you could cut all the lace off the top of the dress so it's a strapless gown, and then add a 3/4 sleeve bolero jacket to it. Your back would be covered, and you'd have sleeves. Or maybe you can just have them remove the back section of the lace and replace it with full lace, not the key hole style. And then add some sleeves. Many gown manufacturers allow you to order some extra fabric; perhaps you could order the extra lace so it matches exactly; if not, you could find something close. Now, the seamstress at the bridal place may not be as willing to make major alterations, but another seamstress will.

leggiebride

So I went back and tried the (sample) dress on at the salon… I think I like it less than before. The alterations dept said they could order more lace and make sleeves (I'm waiting on a quote for the extra lace)… she also said they could make the keyhole back solid BUT it never turns out looking very good. SO I have no idea where I stand. I don't know that sinking more $ into the dress is worth it… I'm trying to decide if adding sleeves will make me like it. UGH! 

Thanks for all the advice… I'll keep you posted. 

missdelilah

What do they mean that it never turns out looking very good when the change the keyhole back?  Sorry, just a little bit confused about why a professional seamstress can't make that work.

Maggie0829

leggiebride said:

So I went back and tried the (sample) dress on at the salon… I think I like it less than before. The alterations dept said they could order more lace and make sleeves (I'm waiting on a quote for the extra lace)… she also said they could make the keyhole back solid BUT it never turns out looking very good. SO I have no idea where I stand. I don't know that sinking more $ into the dress is worth it… I'm trying to decide if adding sleeves will make me like it. UGH! 

Thanks for all the advice… I'll keep you posted. 

To me, it sounds like you care completely over and done with this dress.  If that is the case then you should cut your losses and find another dress.  I agree that I would not want to sink more money into a dress that I don't like to only hope that I may some what like it when it is altered.

jenna8984

I agree with @maggie0829. I'm not one to "waste" money but at this point I'd much rather find a $500 dress that blows me away rather than spend $500 on alterations to this one so that it's possibly ok/ can live with it.

missdelilah

Someone else will love the dress if you don't and the alterations aren't going to make it the dress you love either.  Just know that you'll never recoup your initial purchase price, but you can get a reasonable chunk of change selling an unworn, unaltered dress online.

buttercup1958

Yeah I think you should move on from this dress. You don't seem happy at all. Hopefully you can get some of your money back.

jenijoyk

Step away from the dress. I speak from experience.

KSlow

I did sell a brand new, unworn wedding dress that I purchased after my past engagement fell through. There are several sites that give you the option to sell new dresses with tags on them. It took a while but I eventually had luck selling my dress on tradesy.com. Preownedweddingdresses.com is also a popular site. The unfortunate thing is that it may take a while to sell your dress and expect to get about half of what you spent on it. But it sounds like your situation would be worth the money loss to find a new dress that you love and makes you feel like a million bucks. After all it is your wedding day and you're supposed to feel the most beautiful you've ever felt!

kristinlittle716

I bought a second dress same thing. Everyone cried and liked it so I bought it. I hated it when I came in. Just posted it to sell. Haha

missdelilah

Oh wow!  You ladies are making me so pleased that I went shopping on my own.  

leggiebride

Honestly, this bridal store is a JOKE! I went in today to talk to a manager and was informed that the alterations lady didn't even measure me correctly so the dress is going to be at least an inch short… and guess what!? It's somehow NOT their fault! This dress is cut to a 5'9" frame and I am 6'1". I did not know that. Alterations came in, measured me (during the initial visit, when the dress was ordered) and said that I would just need an extra 3" and that would be plenty. According to the manager today, I should've ordered an extra 4" AT LEAST and she would've suggested 5" to be sure to accommodate shoes! If you are anywhere near a Bridal Warehouse, stay AWAY! The alterations lady actually told me "If you wanted sleeves and a solid back why in the world did you order this dress?" Uhhhh, because you told me you could fix those things? Anyhoo, I asked the manger to call the manufacturer to see if the dress is in the construction stage or just an order form somewhere. (Keep in mind that they continue to tell me the dress will not be ready until March 2015) She called them and called me back an said it's already in production so there is nothing they can do. I call BS but whatever! So I'm now at the point of trying t decide whether I pay the remaining balance, pick up the dress when it comes in, and sell it online or just walk away, lose the deposit and not worry about selling the dress. It's an absolute nightmare. I'm definitely NOT wearing the dress (which the manager acted like was an odd decision… even though she admitted it's going to be too short) and I'm already on the hunt for a new one. It's just all very irritating! On top of everything, if you look up Yelp reviews for the place… yeah not good. UGH! Why aren't there more bridal places here that sell Allure?! 

Ok. Rant is done. Thanks for listening! 

jenijoyk

Ugh!!! Sorry!!!!!!! I went through all of this. I found a new dress. I love it. You will totally find your dress too.

missdelilah

I'm so sorry you've had to deal with this hassle on top of the issue of the dress you don't love, but I'm pleased to hear that you're definitely moving on.  I hope you find a new dress that you love, and remember to get the shop to double-check the length measurements.  

I can't wait to see what you end up with.

lovesclimbing

I would go higher up the change of command and complain since they screwed up the length.

anjemon

I would also look at your contract with the bridal shop. I'm pretty sure mine says that I have 7 days from arrival to make sure everything's okay on their end.

The text: "If the dress is not inspected, The Bride will receive the dress as is and The Bridal Shop will not be responsible for any errors related to the order. "

If they made an error in the order they may be responsible for it and fixing it. Which would at least make them more inclined to help you out now.

ETA: Trying to fix paragraphs

leggiebride

Thanks for the advice… I tried calling the offices/ corporate and get nothing but voice mail. They haven't returned a call yet. Also, after reading my contract, I find a clause that basically says that the shop and their alterations department is not responsible for any measurements that they take… In other words, even if they screw up, it's still my fault. UGH! Honestly, this place is a huge nightmare! I am back to looking for a dress and will probably go ahead and pay the balance on this dress and try to re sell it… I'm still up in the air on that. Part of me just doesn't want to see them make even more money off of the dress they ordered wrong! I know they'll just re-sell it in their store for full price… on top of the deposit I made. Anyhoo… I'm ready to be done with them completely and rear to move on.  

missdelilah

Ugh!  I'm so sorry that this has been such a nightmare for you.  It seems never ending.  If you have a friend who's a lawyer it would be worth asking them about the contract, but I wouldn't pay anyone to do it.

In the meantime, horrible online reviews?