Hey guys. I know there's a lot of shit that's been going on around here lately, but I need to get this off my chest. I've been trying to write this post since Sunday, I think I can finally put it in words. (Forgive me if it's choppy, still not really able to articulate it.)
This weekend, slothieguy and I went to a weekend long music festival. We left Friday after work, got there, danced, did some stuff, camped in the back of our pickup truck under the stars. Awesome.
Saturday, we went back for the second day. We got there early, so we found a spot on a hill overlooking the multiple stages. Gorgeous evening. The sun was starting to set, people were milling about, we were talking about some stupid thing or another.
Out of the side of my eye, I saw a young girl--she couldn't have been more than 18 years, 110 pounds--doing somersaults down the hill. She looked like a little monkey, she was so agile. People started cheering her on, and as she neared the bottom, she hopped up, faced her audience, and gave a bow. As she did so, she stumbled backwards, and fell. She landed. Hard.
A few people chuckled, like, "oh look at that clumsy girl". A couple of seconds passed and she didn't hop right back up, so I went down to her, exasperatedly groaning, "c'mon guys, someone needs to help her". (God knows I've fallen enough on my ass and appreciate a hand up.)
It starts to get blurry here. I reached her and grabbed her shoulder. Nothing. She was cold. I looked at her face. Nothing behind those blue eyes. Someone else nearby yelled out that she wasn't breathing. Security appeared from somewhere. DH had gotten to me by this point and took my arm, dragging me away...but not before I saw her neck at a weird ass angle. Her arm was bent the wrong way as well. CPR was being administered. She wasn't moving. There was some blood in her pretty blonde hair. Somehow in all the chaos, there was a helicopter landing to take her away. I overheard that there were no signs of life as the chopper lifted.
I've seen some shit in my day; I've been through some shit. But there was something about this young thing, who was so full of life and giggling one moment, to becoming a crumpled shell of a human the next, that fucked with me. DH and I have been trying to process it together, but we're both kind of at a loss.
I don't really need anything; I just need to spill it out. Between that and some of the threads here lately, I'm just at such a loss and so....blugh.
ETA paragraphs.