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Bridesmaid Proposals

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Re: Bridesmaid Proposals

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    jaygeejayjaygeejay member
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    I gave all my ladies a bottle of wine and asked them all individually. They all were excited and we celebrated by drinking the wine together. My girls and I will use any excuse to drink wine! I wanted it to be light and fun, no big production. i just wanted them to know that they are very special to me.

    When my best friend asked me to be in her wedding she sent me a nice card asking me. We live 4 hours away so she couldn't really ask me in person. I loved the card and am able to have this little keepsake. I would have said yes either way but it was a nice gesture. 
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    Knottie96704796Knottie96704796 member
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    So despite all the negative comments I still "proposed" to my MOHs and they absolutely LOVED IT! I do think this is a HUGE DEAL. We grew up together and as little girls, teens, & young adults we always talked about the day we would find the man of our dreams and get married and its finally here! I didn't do anything extravagant, we went to dinner and I gave them their boxes there. I only spent $20 for both boxes and all items! I am SO glad I did it, their expressions were priceless and I did want them to feel special especially knowing that they are going to be my right hand for the next 12 months. Here's a photo for any brides-to-be looking for ideas!
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    I called them.

    Sorry, I personally hate bridesmaid proposals. It's more wasted money that could have gone somewhere else, and more wasted time.

    I have a friend right now who keeps hinting that she's sending me some big pretty package, which will contain all the info like dress and hotel and such. I'm flying from OOS, and money is tight, so I really need to budget properly and can't risk her OOT family booking up the entire hotel block. I just wish she'd tell me the information so I could make this work. I don't need a pretty bow!
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    VulgarGirlVulgarGirl member
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    sarahbear31 said:
    Knottie96704796 said:
    So despite all the negative comments I still "proposed" to my MOHs and they absolutely LOVED IT! I do think this is a HUGE DEAL. We grew up together and as little girls, teens, & young adults we always talked about the day we would find the man of our dreams and get married and its finally here! I didn't do anything extravagant, we went to dinner and I gave them their boxes there. I only spent $20 for both boxes and all items! I am SO glad I did it, their expressions were priceless and I did want them to feel special especially knowing that they are going to be my right hand for the next 12 months. Here's a photo for any brides-to-be looking for ideas!
    um, say what?  Why do you need another right hand for the next 12 months? 
    Yeah, the boxes are pretty cute and look fairly simple, not like anything over the top, but that line makes me worried.
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    Knottie96704796Knottie96704796 member
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    My FI just wants to show up! He doesn't want to go look at 20 venues, decide on table linens or go through color swatches. All he wants is to be husband & wife, good music and good food! You all are so uptight, YIKES! This is supposed to be fun, he trusts me. Which is perfectly fine with me. he's a mans man.  Too caught up with fantasy football, golfing and what not. WHICH IS PERFECTLY FINE WITH ME. :)) Thank you all for your OPINIONS.
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    misshart00misshart00 member
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    Knottie96704796 said:

    My FI just wants to show up! He doesn't want to go look at 20 venues, decide on table linens or go through color swatches. All he wants is to be husband & wife, good music and good food! You all are so uptight, YIKES! This is supposed to be fun, he trusts me. Which is perfectly fine with me. he's a mans man.  Too caught up with fantasy football, golfing and what not. WHICH IS PERFECTLY FINE WITH ME. :)) Thank you all for your OPINIONS.

    That's totally fine. Lots of grooms just want to show up. However, some bridesmaids don't necessarily want to help plan every aspect.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    Knottie96704796 said:
    My FI just wants to show up! He doesn't want to go look at 20 venues, decide on table linens or go through color swatches. All he wants is to be husband & wife, good music and good food! You all are so uptight, YIKES! This is supposed to be fun, he trusts me. Which is perfectly fine with me. he's a mans man.  Too caught up with fantasy football, golfing and what not. WHICH IS PERFECTLY FINE WITH ME. :)) Thank you all for your OPINIONS.
     
    Okay...
    image


    You know, when I want to do absolutely nothing but scratch my balls and drink beer, I propose to a woman that I want to throw a great big shindig.
    What I'm saying is, chill out, and tough titties to your FI.


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    thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
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    Actually, OP, you might be surprised on what your FI does want to be involved with. Over time I've gotten the impression that most grooms are very "whatever you want" about the wedding in the beginning, but when it comes down to it, they'll disagree when they don't like what you're doing. 

    In the beginning for me, when now-H was all, "you're the bride, whatever", I would propose some ideas and I'd get a grimace in return.  It was upsetting; I had to say, "If you have an opinion or really want something, you better speak up."  He ended up caring a lot more about quite a few things than I did and was incredibly helpful during the planning process. 

    Long story short, get your FI involved or there will be trouble. If your friends offer to help you with big things, cool. But venues are absolutely not in their jurisdiction.  That's too big and important. 
    ________________________________


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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    JCbride2015 said:
    The box is pretty low-key and cute.  Booze and nail polish?  Sure.

    Your expectation that your BMs will be your right hand and your groom gets to just "show up" deeply worries me.  Don't take advantage of your friends.
    I've got an idea!

    Marry your friends.
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    larrygagalarrygaga member
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    I literally texted mine
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    holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
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    bumbletiger88 said:
    Whether this was your intention or not, saying that your fiance is a "man's man" and "just wants to show up" makes it seem like you are saying that those grooms who actively participate in the planning of their own wedding are less manly.  Just wanted to point out that you should perhaps think more carefully about the words you are using because what you said came off as very rude.
    VERY good point.  My husband loves football and is quite handy around the house.  He couldn't care less about flowers, but you better believe he wanted to be there for the tastings and to pick out readings for the ceremony. 




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    southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    bumbletiger88 said:
    Whether this was your intention or not, saying that your fiance is a "man's man" and "just wants to show up" makes it seem like you are saying that those grooms who actively participate in the planning of their own wedding are less manly.  Just wanted to point out that you should perhaps think more carefully about the words you are using because what you said came off as very rude.
    QFT.

    DH helped plan a lot of our wedding. He loves parties and wanted to make an awesome party happen. He's not "less manly" than some dude who refuses to help with anything - I'd say he's "helpful" "mature" and I appreciated him more than I would have if he would have sat on his ass and let me do all the work while he just benefited.
    *********************************************************************************

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    holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
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    @ClimbingBrideNY said:
    Knottie96704796 said:
    My FI just wants to show up! He doesn't want to go look at 20 venues, decide on table linens or go through color swatches. All he wants is to be husband & wife, good music and good food! You all are so uptight, YIKES! This is supposed to be fun, he trusts me. Which is perfectly fine with me. he's a mans man.  Too caught up with fantasy football, golfing and what not. WHICH IS PERFECTLY FINE WITH ME. :)) Thank you all for your OPINIONS.
    I'm also pretty busy with fantasy football, FYI. Not just a dude thing! 

    Your bridemaids are not your wedding planners. My FI helped me with every single aspect of planning. He even stuffed envelopes and painted wine bottles. 
    Do you watch "The League"? I don't do fantasy football, but I love that show!!




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    JCbride2015JCbride2015 member
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    slothiegal said:
    sarahbear31 said:
    @ClimbingBrideNY said:
    Knottie96704796 said:
    My FI just wants to show up! He doesn't want to go look at 20 venues, decide on table linens or go through color swatches. All he wants is to be husband & wife, good music and good food! You all are so uptight, YIKES! This is supposed to be fun, he trusts me. Which is perfectly fine with me. he's a mans man.  Too caught up with fantasy football, golfing and what not. WHICH IS PERFECTLY FINE WITH ME. :)) Thank you all for your OPINIONS.
    I'm also pretty busy with fantasy football, FYI. Not just a dude thing! 

    Your bridemaids are not your wedding planners. My FI helped me with every single aspect of planning. He even stuffed envelopes and painted wine bottles. 
    Do you watch "The League"? I don't do fantasy football, but I love that show!!
    image


    Love The League!!
    Me too!  Sometimes it's just too much for me, but once I start LMAO Fi knows I'm either drunk or way too tired and it's time for me to go to sleep.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

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    Liatris2010Liatris2010 mod
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    My H loves football more than any man I have ever met. He golfs every week. He also cared very much about our venue, what kind of food and beverages were served, music played, and what photographer we hired. He chose our wedding color. If your FI doesn't want to do those things, that is fine. But let's be real. Choosing colors doesn't need to be a big deal, visiting 20 venues is at least 15 too many, and your BMs can be as involved or uninvolved in this sort of stuff as they choose. Despite what the wedding industry would like you to believe, wedding planning need not be an all-consuming ordeal. It should be fun, and it should eat up very little of your time. The people here will have excellent advice so that you don't need to harangue your bridesmaids about table linens.
    image
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    climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
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    JCbride2015 said:
    slothiegal said:
    sarahbear31 said:
    @ClimbingBrideNY said:
    Knottie96704796 said:
    My FI just wants to show up! He doesn't want to go look at 20 venues, decide on table linens or go through color swatches. All he wants is to be husband & wife, good music and good food! You all are so uptight, YIKES! This is supposed to be fun, he trusts me. Which is perfectly fine with me. he's a mans man.  Too caught up with fantasy football, golfing and what not. WHICH IS PERFECTLY FINE WITH ME. :)) Thank you all for your OPINIONS.
    I'm also pretty busy with fantasy football, FYI. Not just a dude thing! 

    Your bridemaids are not your wedding planners. My FI helped me with every single aspect of planning. He even stuffed envelopes and painted wine bottles. 
    Do you watch "The League"? I don't do fantasy football, but I love that show!!
    image


    Love The League!!
    Me too!  Sometimes it's just too much for me, but once I start LMAO Fi knows I'm either drunk or way too tired and it's time for me to go to sleep.
    I actually do not! I've heard such good things about it. I will have to check it out. 
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    holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
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    JCbride2015, @slothiegal - I knew you two were good people.  DH and I just caught up on last week's episode where Baby Geoffrey finds the testosterone cream.  HI-LARIOUS. 

    DH and I were talking the other day and asked me if I knew any guys IRL that reminded me of Andre.  I said not really.  He said, "yeah, me neither.  But I know a few women that remind me of him."




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    holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    ClimbingBrideNY - all of the seasons are on netflix. 




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    saacjwsaacjw member
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    thisismynickname said:
    Actually, OP, you might be surprised on what your FI does want to be involved with. Over time I've gotten the impression that most grooms are very "whatever you want" about the wedding in the beginning, but when it comes down to it, they'll disagree when they don't like what you're doing. 

    In the beginning for me, when now-H was all, "you're the bride, whatever", I would propose some ideas and I'd get a grimace in return.  It was upsetting; I had to say, "If you have an opinion or really want something, you better speak up."  He ended up caring a lot more about quite a few things than I did and was incredibly helpful during the planning process. 

    Long story short, get your FI involved or there will be trouble. If your friends offer to help you with big things, cool. But venues are absolutely not in their jurisdiction.  That's too big and important. 
    Oh so much truth. My husband was actually pretty honest about what he cared about (food, music) and what he didn't, but occasionally I'd say something and he'd do the grimace thing, which was followed up by a "well, what do you think?" "not that's fine..." "well clearly you have something else in mind" "well... yeah... I'd rather do XYZ, but it's the BRIDE'S day" "bullshit, stop it"


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