Wedding Etiquette Forum

Cash Bar? Dollar Dance? Cocktail Hour?

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Re: Cash Bar? Dollar Dance? Cocktail Hour?

  • adk19 said:
    abbyj700 said:
    kavo0406 said:
    I am not funding the party bus......my family is.....and it was something like $100 or so; so how is that my fault (when I already said that I said no and they said we ARE doing this end of discussion) and why should I have to pay for liquor then when I'm not even the one paying for the limo/bus? And how is any different if we just drove around on the limo/bus for a half hour and drank on there (which is what my cousin recently did at a wedding she was in) or if we stopped at a bar for 5 mins, each had a shot and left and got back on the bus? 
    Also, I think we will only host the beer, wine and soda and do as others have suggested and just leave the liquor off the self as to not tempt anyone. 
    So, you all can think that I'm being rude/selfish whatever, but the fact is - you are all being rude by being so judgmental of someone who you don't personally know.  I tried to give you all a little background as to why I am going to do somethings, but that didn't mean an open invite to attack my character and my families traditions. Suggestions or advice on other options where expected, but saying things like it's still rude - it's basically saying that my entire family and circle of friends is rude for doing something that they have always done.
    I have fixed the time gap by pushing our ceremony back and then fixed the original issue of serving appetizers after drinks, they will be served at the same time. 
    Our shuttle costs $550. We paid for it. We are doing a polite thing and letting our out of town guests use it as transportation from the hotel. We aren't being rude and riding around for hours to leave them wondering where we are during our cocktail hour. We are using it to transport all the hotel guests and our bridal party to our favorite local bar (2 trips so the bridal party can clean up after the reception)- where WE are hosting an hour of alcohol and a late night fried food buffet.

    Learn from another midwesterner - you can have a party bus and still be an awesome host. 
    What?  Bridal party is cleaning in dresses and suits?
    Oh HELL no. Why am I surprised.
    I think she means (or hope she means) clean up as in go back to their rooms to freshen up/get changed.  But if she means clean up the reception venue then no, not cool.
    No need to worry ladies - no one is being forced to do anything. Several friends, bridal party members and family members have already offered to help pack up gifts and center pieces. It is by no means a requirement or even something we asked of them. Three members of our bridal party have been married in the last year - we did a lot for their weddings - so they have volunteered to do the same. I can understand the confusion though by the way I worded it. :-)
    [Deleted User]
  • Ah, yes.  Packing up a few gifts and the extra favors is different from Cleaning up after the reception.
  • Don't do the ride and bar crawl. It is rude as hell. My niece did it for her reception and people were pissed. And trust me when I say the bride and grooms parents heard many complaints about it. They lost probably 25 guests who got tired of waiting and left. Hopefully they didn't loose friendships over it.
    ashley8918PrettyGirlLostluckysnorkel
  • hellosweetie1015hellosweetie1015 Where the skies are so blue member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Ashes_3 said:
    Don't do the ride and bar crawl. It is rude as hell. My niece did it for her reception and people were pissed. And trust me when I say the bride and grooms parents heard many complaints about it. They lost probably 25 guests who got tired of waiting and left. Hopefully they didn't loose friendships over it.
    I'm pretty sure they've hashed this out. It's no longer a bar crawl (although if I read correctly it was only ever two bars, which hardly counts as a crawl to me), it's one shot. Totally reasonable at this point, especially since it's also whittled a 2.5 hour cocktail time down to a very reasonable one hour.

    I don't do shots, but I'd be down with going for one to celebrate my marriage with my best friends and my new husband. 
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
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    kavo0406
  • zitiqueenzitiqueen member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited September 2014
    I come from a place where the dollar dance is very common. I also am one of the few Knotties whose panties aren't in a perpetual bunch over the mere idea of a dollar dance. My reason for not liking the dollar dance is everything on the dance floor grinds to a halt for up to 30 minutes or more, depending on how many people choose (KEY WORD) to take part. It's just awkward and boring as hell for everybody who hasn't taken part and everybody who has taken part once their 30 seconds of dancing with the bride and/or groom is up.
    Ashes_3PrettyGirlLost
  • I agree with zitiqueen. There have been some great suggestions made here. Let's hope she sticks with her revised plans for her guests comfort.
  • zitiqueen said:
    I come from a place where the dollar dance is very common. I also am one of the few Knotties whose panties aren't in a perpetual bunch over the mere idea of a dollar dance. My reason for not liking the dollar dance is everything on the dance floor grinds to a halt for up to 30 minutes or more, depending on how many people choose (KEY WORD) to take part. It's just awkward and boring as hell for everybody who hasn't taken part and everybody who has taken part once their 30 seconds of dancing with the bride and/or groom is up.
    So you draw the line at boring your guests but not squeezing money out of them? Got it. "Choose" wording doesn't change anything either.
    Yeah... my SIL and I "chose" not to participate in our husbands' cousin's dollar dance and we still got pressure from other family members to do it (which concluded in my husband's caving to pressure and doing it and spending $5 despite our already generous cash gift).
    And as hard as we were judging the couple for having the dance, odds are other people at the wedding were judging SIL and I are for not participating in it.
    And it's a good point about the dance floor actually. The dancing at this particular wedding was a lot of fun. So just stopping it was a buzz kill.

    Boring one's guests for half an hour, while simultaneously guilting them into giving away more money than they already have, else their risking being judged by their peers as cheap. Sounds great...
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