Long Distance BRIDE and Maids!

northernbride13

Hey everyone!

I hope everyone is having a great day! I've been struggling with an aspect of my wedding party and I thought I'd come here for some help! I've read lots of posts about long distance bridesmaids but the thing is, I am a long distance bride anyway! Most of my bridesmaids live in Ontario, Canada and I am a teacher waaaaaay far up North (other side of the country) and only see them twice a year anyway. I am totally okay with that, as what I want from my maids is love, support, and being at showers and parties etc that will be at home- I don't need assembly teams, etc.

I have one AMAZING friend, however, that I think I have already decided to ask but here is the kicker- we used to work together, but now we don't. We will see each other soon at a conference but after that, i won't see her until the wedding since we now live and work on opposite sides of the country. It's tough because we haven't had to practice being long distance before, know what I mean? I am confident we will remain close but I know it's also wise to really think through these wedding party decisions! It would not bug me at all that she couldnt be at the bachelorette, etc, so thats not an issue for me.

So...what do you think? I love this girl to death, but now we won't even see each other till the wedding, which is Summer 2016. We have a conference coming up in a week where we will be roommmates together, so I know our friendship will be at peak awesomeness. I was planning to ask maids at christmas...but its the only time i am seeing her...so...HELP!

Thanks for reading!

lyndausvi

I was a LD bride with LD bridesmaids.  I never found it to be a problem.   If you want her ask her.

AddieCake

Don't let geography dictate who is in your bridal party. If you want her to be, ask her.

holyguacamole79

northernbride13 said:

Hey everyone!

I hope everyone is having a great day! I've been struggling with an aspect of my wedding party and I thought I'd come here for some help! I've read lots of posts about long distance bridesmaids but the thing is, I am a long distance bride anyway! Most of my bridesmaids live in Ontario, Canada and I am a teacher waaaaaay far up North (other side of the country) and only see them twice a year anyway. I am totally okay with that, as what I want from my maids is love, support, and being at showers and parties etc that will be at home- I don't need assembly teams, etc.

I have one AMAZING friend, however, that I think I have already decided to ask but here is the kicker- we used to work together, but now we don't. We will see each other soon at a conference but after that, i won't see her until the wedding since we now live and work on opposite sides of the country. It's tough because we haven't had to practice being long distance before, know what I mean? I am confident we will remain close but I know it's also wise to really think through these wedding party decisions! It would not bug me at all that she couldnt be at the bachelorette, etc, so thats not an issue for me.

So...what do you think? I love this girl to death, but now we won't even see each other till the wedding, which is Summer 2016. We have a conference coming up in a week where we will be roommmates together, so I know our friendship will be at peak awesomeness. I was planning to ask maids at christmas...but its the only time i am seeing her...so...HELP!

Thanks for reading!

If your wedding is in Summer 2016, I would wait until Fall 2015 to ask your bridal party, regardless of how far away they live. FWIW, I have a friend who lives in the same city as I do, but she travels for her job. It all worked out great.

Jen4948

If you want someone in your wedding party, just ask them.

That said, while it's nice when your attendants throw parties or showers for you, this is not required by etiquette and it's not something you can require them to do.  If one or more of them don't choose to do so, don't hold it against them in any way.

larrygaga

Why is bride capitalized?

northernbride13

Thanks for the advice, everyone. I appreciate it I capitalized "bride" because most posts I have found discuss long distance bridesmaids, but I find my situation to be a little different. That's all! I like the idea of waiting- I think that may be my saving grace here. I tend to be more of an impulsive person so the fact that I got engaged three months ago and haven't asked yet is a marvel! Thanks again, everyone. I appreciate you guys!

MyNameIsNot

sarahbear31 said:

northernbride13 said:

Hey everyone!

I hope everyone is having a great day! I've been struggling with an aspect of my wedding party and I thought I'd come here for some help! I've read lots of posts about long distance bridesmaids but the thing is, I am a long distance bride anyway! Most of my bridesmaids live in Ontario, Canada and I am a teacher waaaaaay far up North (other side of the country) and only see them twice a year anyway. I am totally okay with that, as what I want from my maids is love, support, and being at showers and parties etc that will be at home- I don't need assembly teams, etc.

I have one AMAZING friend, however, that I think I have already decided to ask but here is the kicker- we used to work together, but now we don't. We will see each other soon at a conference but after that, i won't see her until the wedding since we now live and work on opposite sides of the country. It's tough because we haven't had to practice being long distance before, know what I mean? I am confident we will remain close but I know it's also wise to really think through these wedding party decisions! It would not bug me at all that she couldnt be at the bachelorette, etc, so thats not an issue for me.

So...what do you think? I love this girl to death, but now we won't even see each other till the wedding, which is Summer 2016. We have a conference coming up in a week where we will be roommmates together, so I know our friendship will be at peak awesomeness. I was planning to ask maids at christmas...but its the only time i am seeing her...so...HELP!

Thanks for reading!

If your wedding is in Summer 2016, I would wait until Fall 2015 to ask your bridal party, regardless of how far away they live. FWIW, I have a friend who lives in the same city as I do, but she travels for her job. It all worked out great.

This.  It's never a good idea to ask the WP more than a year in advance.  In your situation, it's especially important.  You have plenty of time to see how the relationship will evolve in new circumstances.

badbnagdway

Second, or third, or fourth the notion that two years out is pretty early to pick the WP. Waiting until later also gives you a chance to "practice" being long distance friends. I have a friend and former roommate who at one time I always expected to be close to. Now she hardly ever answers my texts or calls. I don't think it's that she is upset with me, just that she has a new life in a new place and it takes a lot of her time and attention.