Bridesmaids Dresses Dilemma.

kelseykhaos

SO. My wedding is in May 2015. A few months ago I asked my bridesmaids what their budgets were for their dresses. They agreed that the $50-$100 range was acceptable. Okay, kind of stressful as my style is more formal and not the mismatch-y vintage-rustic thing everyone seems to go for anymore. But no problem, we'll work around it. So I've found several styles I like under $100. I set up a date and time to go dress shopping that worked for everyone. I showed one maid a $60 dress and she said she'd have a hard time even affording that. Then my MOH told me one of the maids wasn't going because she "didn't want to go shopping for a dress she couldn't afford." NOW I'm upset and stressed out of my gourd. I'm bending over backwards to make these girls happy as they're all students/recent grads and money's tight, but it doesn't seem to be enough. So am I in the wrong here when I feel like I'm doing a lot to help out? I've honestly considered unasking the one who said she wasn't going shopping for a dress she couldn't afford and maybe asking her to be a guestbook attendant or something. I don't want to end this friendship but we're not really close anymore. HELP.

Knottie98479982

I'm all for saving money and totally understand where they're coming from on not being able to afford some things or wanting to spend on the cheaper side of the budget, but sorry. I don't get how one can't even afford a $60 dress. If I couldn't, I wouldn't have agreed to even be a bridesmaid if I were them. They should know that when becoming a bridesmaid, there comes money spending. Sorry if that was too harsh. But I think you are bending over backwards to make everyone happy. I couldn't even do that. I would just pick out the dress and that would be that.

aja0813

Oh my.. this sounds like you have got a lot on your plate.. The way I look at it , is if you asked your girlfriends/relatives etc to be a bridesmaid they should know what they signed up for. A dress, hair/makeup etc. If they cannot afford it, I would throw them out of the bridal party to be blunt.

I have a decent budget, therefore I am paying for my 6 bridesmaids dresses but they were all comfortable around 200-225 mark . I actually didn't even ask them they just know the deal when they were asked.

Get rid of the cheapos! 

southernbelle0915

kschilb13 said:

SO. My wedding is in May 2015. A few months ago I asked my bridesmaids what their budgets were for their dresses. They agreed that the $50-$100 range was acceptable. Okay, kind of stressful as my style is more formal and not the mismatch-y vintage-rustic thing everyone seems to go for anymore. But no problem, we'll work around it. So I've found several styles I like under $100. I set up a date and time to go dress shopping that worked for everyone. I showed one maid a $60 dress and she said she'd have a hard time even affording that. Then my MOH told me one of the maids wasn't going because she "didn't want to go shopping for a dress she couldn't afford." NOW I'm upset and stressed out of my gourd. I'm bending over backwards to make these girls happy as they're all students/recent grads and money's tight, but it doesn't seem to be enough. So am I in the wrong here when I feel like I'm doing a lot to help out? I've honestly considered unasking the one who said she wasn't going shopping for a dress she couldn't afford and maybe asking her to be a guestbook attendant or something. I don't want to end this friendship but we're not really close anymore. HELP.

******SITB*******

Breathe. You're frustrated and you're venting. You did the right thing by asking their budgets ahead of time. So now it comes to shopping and they're being difficult about what they've already said. 

Here's the thing - you don't know what's going on in their lives to result in the budget change. I would re-ask for the budget of each BM who complained:"Hi Jane - When I first asked, you said $50-100, but now it sounds like that number has changed. Can you please let me know your new budget by Friday? I don't want to look at dresses out of your price range." You're the good guy. Then find a dress and just send them an email with "I considered y'alls input from our shopping trip and I've chosen this dress. It's in budget for what everyone sent to me. Please order by [date]." 

Absolutely under no circumstances do the bolded. No no no. "Unasking" ends friendships. And you'd do that because she can't afford something? Wow. Please don't do that.

What are your colors and what style do you want?

OliveOilsMom

kschilb13 said:

SO. My wedding is in May 2015. A few months ago I asked my bridesmaids what their budgets were for their dresses. They agreed that the $50-$100 range was acceptable. Okay, kind of stressful as my style is more formal and not the mismatch-y vintage-rustic thing everyone seems to go for anymore. But no problem, we'll work around it. So I've found several styles I like under $100. I set up a date and time to go dress shopping that worked for everyone. I showed one maid a $60 dress and she said she'd have a hard time even affording that. Then my MOH told me one of the maids wasn't going because she "didn't want to go shopping for a dress she couldn't afford." NOW I'm upset and stressed out of my gourd. I'm bending over backwards to make these girls happy as they're all students/recent grads and money's tight, but it doesn't seem to be enough. So am I in the wrong here when I feel like I'm doing a lot to help out? I've honestly considered unasking the one who said she wasn't going shopping for a dress she couldn't afford and maybe asking her to be a guestbook attendant or something. I don't want to end this friendship but we're not really close anymore. HELP.

If the lowest amount for a BM dress was $50, then that is highest amount a dress should be, unless you are willing to pitch in the difference. If a $60 dress is too much, ask your girls again, what is their highest amount to spend on a dress. If $50 is again the lowest amount, then find a dress for $50 or under. You need to respect your BMs budgets.

You may need to give up your idea of formal. You can find many nice dresses at department stores for $50 or less, especially if you can utilize coupons. If you are this stressed now about BM dresses (which no one really remembers), then maybe you should step back and just allow your girls to buy any dress in their budget in the color of your choice. Just give the BMs a color swatch and then let them have at it.

southernbelle0915

aja0813 said:

Oh my.. this sounds like you have got a lot on your plate.. The way I look at it , is if you asked your girlfriends/relatives etc to be a bridesmaid they should know what they signed up for. A dress, hair/makeup etc. If they cannot afford it, I would throw them out of the bridal party to be blunt.

I have a decent budget, therefore I am paying for my 6 bridesmaids dresses but they were all comfortable around 200-225 mark . I actually didn't even ask them they just know the deal when they were asked.

Get rid of the cheapos! 

This is some of the worst advice I've ever read on TK..... unless of course your goal is to insult and burn bridges with your friends.

cafarrie

These comments are so obnoxiously rude (Edit: I wrote that after only the first 2 comments had posted!!!). I know it's "tradition" that the girls have to pay for their own dresses but I personally think that needs to end. I don't want to essentially pay for the honor of standing up with you at your wedding. Pick a dress YOU could afford to buy for everyone and then write them a nice thank you for being your friend and supporting you. If you want them with you, find a way to make it happen, otherwise you're ruining a friendship over $50. How stupid is that?

southernbelle0915

Knottie98479982 said:

I'm all for saving money and totally understand where they're coming from on not being able to afford some things or wanting to spend on the cheaper side of the budget, but sorry. I don't get how one can't even afford a $60 dress. If I couldn't, I wouldn't have agreed to even be a bridesmaid if I were them. They should know that when becoming a bridesmaid, there comes money spending. Sorry if that was too harsh. But I think you are bending over backwards to make everyone happy. I couldn't even do that. I would just pick out the dress and that would be that.

Yes, ask your friends to be guests of honor and then tell them to fuck off because they can't afford a dress that fits your "vision". Good luck with maintaining relationships, knottienumbers.

One of my BMs is in nursing school and could barely afford the gas/hotel to attend. Guess what? I bought her dress. I wanted her next to me no matter what. If it's "only" $60, I don't see why this is a problem for the bride to do this. 

OliveOilsMom

Knottie#s and aja, the people you choose to be BMs should not be chosen based on how much money they can spend. You are honoring them by asking them to be in your wedding party because you cannot imagine getting married without them by your side. To pick BMs to stand next to you based on their financial status is shallow.

kelseykhaos

I really don't want to unask anyone. I honestly don't have the heart. But we can't fit it in the budget to pay for 6 dresses. Also, there are SO many different shades of "Plum" varying between designers and even just fabrics that I'm scared to just have them pick their own. I wanted floor-length dresses, but finding them for cheap isn't easy, it seems, so I'm willing to do an elegant cocktail length dress. I was thinking these (in plum):

http://www.weddingtonway.com/products/alfred-sung-d462-bridesmaid-dress?&sku=de-d462-italian-plum

http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Short-One-Shoulder-Taffeta-Dress-with-Beading-F15409?cm_mmc=PinterestMER-_-ClothingAccessories_Dresses_Women_BridesmaidDresses-_-F15409-_-ShortOneShoulderTaffetaDresswithBeadingStyleF15409&mr:trackingCode=DFB613CE-C7DA-E311-8948-001B21A69EB0&mr:referralID=NA

http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Satin-Gown-with-Side-Drape-Brooch-8567?cm_mmc=PinterestMER-_-ClothingAccessories_Dresses_Women_BridesmaidDresses-_-8567-_-SatinGownwithSideDrapeBroochStyle8567&mr:trackingCode=56B313CE-C7DA-E311-8948-001B21A69EB0&mr:referralID=NA

http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Strapless-Long-Charmeuse-Dress-with-Slit-F44447?cm_mmc=PinterestMER-_-ClothingAccessories_Dresses_Women_BridesmaidDresses-_-F44447-_-StraplessLongCharmeuseDresswithSlitStyleF44447&mr:trackingCode=14B713CE-C7DA-E311-8948-001B21A69EB0&mr:referralID=NA

http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Strapless-Satin-A-line-with-Pleated-Chiffon-Bodice-F13573_Bridal-Party-Bridesmaids-Dresses-Under-$100?cm_mmc=PinterestMER-_-ClothingAccessories_Dresses_Women_BridesmaidDresses-_-F13573-_-StraplessSatinA-linewithPleatedChiffonBodiceStyleF13573&mr:trackingCode=B0B613CE-C7DA-E311-8948-001B21A69EB0&mr:referralID=NA

kelseykhaos

Update: Just re-asked my bridesmaids their budgets. One of them said $45... I'm willing to pitch in for part of it, but this just seems really low...

cafarrie

you still need to make sure you're within the budget your girls gave you.  If they can't afford a $60 evening gown, how are they going to afford a $99 cocktail dress?  There are plenty of places to get long dresses in the $50-$100 range IF YOUR GIRLS ARE COMFORTABLE WITH THAT BUDGET.  Like PP's said, take the lowest budget your given, and find a dress you can live with and have them all purchase.  It's really not that big a dilemma.  Look outside the box (i.e. non-bridal stores often have almost identical dresses for much cheaper). 

http://www.target.com/p/tevolio-women-s-satin-strapless-maxi-dress-fashion-colors/-/A-14713179#prodSlot=large_1_23              $69.99

http://www.target.com/p/tevolio-women-s-satin-one-shoulder-rosette-maxi-dress-fashion-colors/-/A-14421730#prodSlot=_1_5                  $34.99

http://www.sears.com/ever-pretty-ever-pretty-charming-empire-waist-bowtie/p-000000000000000190820000000000000HE09060P?prdNo=3&blockNo=3&blockType=G3    $29.99

cafarrie

It's not your place to judge whether it's "low" or not. I'm really not trying to be mean - I just SO hate the idea of bridesmaids having to pay for their own dresses. So i'm trying to help. See the dresses I posted above. Target and Sears have very reasonably priced evening gowns (under 50). Don't get hung up on something being from a bridal shop. Edit: Also, department stores are awesome because you can order multiple sizes and return whatever doesn't work.

Knottie98479982

I'm maintaining my relationships just fine, thanks. I asked my BM for their budgets...which was all in the $200 range. So, it looks like they can fit my "vision".

southernbelle0915 said:

Knottie98479982 said:

I'm all for saving money and totally understand where they're coming from on not being able to afford some things or wanting to spend on the cheaper side of the budget, but sorry. I don't get how one can't even afford a $60 dress. If I couldn't, I wouldn't have agreed to even be a bridesmaid if I were them. They should know that when becoming a bridesmaid, there comes money spending. Sorry if that was too harsh. But I think you are bending over backwards to make everyone happy. I couldn't even do that. I would just pick out the dress and that would be that.

Yes, ask your friends to be guests of honor and then tell them to fuck off because they can't afford a dress that fits your "vision". Good luck with maintaining relationships, knottienumbers.

One of my BMs is in nursing school and could barely afford the gas/hotel to attend. Guess what? I bought her dress. I wanted her next to me no matter what. If it's "only" $60, I don't see why this is a problem for the bride to do this. 

southernbelle0915

Ok I know it might not be your first choice, but here are some options under $50. Think outside the box - David's Bridal, Alfred Angelo, etc. are ok but there are literally hundreds of options.

In shiny purple (also, target has a bunch, so worth checking out the rest of their stock):

http://www.target.com/p/tevolio-women-s-satin-one-shoulder-rosette-dress-fashion-colors/-/A-13809144#prodSlot=medium_2_2

In plum spice:

http://www.target.com/p/tevolio-women-s-taffeta-strapless-dress/-/A-14859193#prodSlot=medium_1_6

http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/steel-my-kisses-dress

http://www.jcpenney.com/juniors-guys/view-all-juniors/buy-more-and-save/liz-claiborne-sleeveless-pleat-neck-sheath-dress/prod.jump?ppId=pp5004420261&catId=cat100210008&deptId=dept20000013&Ns=PLH&Nao=24&pN=2&topDim=Color&topDimvalue=purple&dimCombo=Color%7C&dimComboVal=purple%7C&currentDim=Color&currentDimVal=purple&_dyncharset=UTF-8&urlState=/women/shop-clothing/dresses/purple/_/N-1nnujcZ146/cat.jump

http://www.jcpenney.com/juniors-guys/view-all-juniors/buy-more-and-save/black-label-by-evan-picone-cap-sleeve-ruffled-dress/prod.jump?ppId=pp5004040518&catId=cat100210008&deptId=dept20000013&Ns=PLH&Nao=24&pN=2&topDim=Color&topDimvalue=purple&dimCombo=Color%7C&dimComboVal=purple%7C&currentDim=Color&currentDimVal=purple&_dyncharset=UTF-8&urlState=/women/shop-clothing/dresses/purple/_/N-1nnujcZ146/cat.jump

Or think about a different direction. Black BM dresses are formal and chic. Plus it's a dress they can wear again. You can make their bouquets purple and white to incorporate your colors and lighten it up. Here are a couple of cheap options:

http://www.forever21.com/Product/Product.aspx?BR=f21&Category=dress_midi&ProductID=2000059415&VariantID=

http://www.forever21.com/Product/Product.aspx?BR=f21&Category=dress_midi&ProductID=2000102311&VariantID=

[Deleted User]

@kschilb13 This might not be that helpful since it sounds like you really don't need one more thing to worry about, but have you ever considered ebay? If you went with David's Bridal, for instance there are tons of used dresses on there. I was in a wedding a year ago where the bride specified color and length from DB and let us pick our own dresses. Three of us bought ours on ebay, all different sizes. I got a plum chiffon DB dress (never worn actually) for $30 including shipping. It was a $125 dress at the store. You've got time, this could work for your girls.

cowgirl8238

cafarrie said:

you still need to make sure you're within the budget your girls gave you.  If they can't afford a $60 evening gown, how are they going to afford a $99 cocktail dress?  There are plenty of places to get long dresses in the $50-$100 range IF YOUR GIRLS ARE COMFORTABLE WITH THAT BUDGET.  Like PP's said, take the lowest budget your given, and find a dress you can live with and have them all purchase.  It's really not that big a dilemma.  Look outside the box (i.e. non-bridal stores often have almost identical dresses for much cheaper). 

http://www.target.com/p/tevolio-women-s-satin-strapless-maxi-dress-fashion-colors/-/A-14713179#prodSlot=large_1_23              $69.99

http://www.target.com/p/tevolio-women-s-satin-one-shoulder-rosette-maxi-dress-fashion-colors/-/A-14421730#prodSlot=_1_5                  $34.99

http://www.sears.com/ever-pretty-ever-pretty-charming-empire-waist-bowtie/p-000000000000000190820000000000000HE09060P?prdNo=3&blockNo=3&blockType=G3    $29.99

OP I think the last one from Sears is really nice for the price!!!!

I agree check out ebay and preownedweddingdress.com for some other ideas.  I understand find things under $50 seems difficult but it really shouldn't be that bad...just avoid the word "bride" and you can find wonerdful things for a 1/3 the price!!!!

atlastmrsg

This is a know your crowd kind of question, but are any of these girls out of town?  If they can't afford a $60 dress, I could see someone bailing because they can't afford gas/hotel/etc. to come in for the wedding.  Also, adjust your expectations.  If you're one of the brides here who will freak out when the bridesmaids don't throw her a big shower or a trip for a bachelorette party, it's time to reality check.  No money for dress means they aren't going to Vegas with you or spending to have champagne and a zillion cupcakes from a bakery at a shower.  Make sure you're emotionally prepared for that.  Maybe you already are.

I get that I'm pretty standard white girl with #firstworldproblems--I spend money needlessly on things like Starbucks and Panera when I could make my own coffee/pack a lunch for work, so I'm doing fine but not living extravagantly--but $45 for a bridesmaid dress is low.  Have these girls been in a wedding before?  If you've walked through David's, you know nothing there is that inexpensive.  Some of the second hand dresses on eBay sell for more than that if they're really current or long.

But, regardless of what I would spend, what I think they should spend, or what you want them to spend, the bottom line is that you're stuck with their budget since you've asked them.  Now you have to be creative and work with it or pony up the difference.  AND, if any dress requires alterations, you'll be going over $45.  Have a plan for that, which likely means you'll have to pay to make sure the dress fits.

cafarrie

cowgirl8238 said:

cafarrie said:

you still need to make sure you're within the budget your girls gave you.  If they can't afford a $60 evening gown, how are they going to afford a $99 cocktail dress?  There are plenty of places to get long dresses in the $50-$100 range IF YOUR GIRLS ARE COMFORTABLE WITH THAT BUDGET.  Like PP's said, take the lowest budget your given, and find a dress you can live with and have them all purchase.  It's really not that big a dilemma.  Look outside the box (i.e. non-bridal stores often have almost identical dresses for much cheaper). 

http://www.target.com/p/tevolio-women-s-satin-strapless-maxi-dress-fashion-colors/-/A-14713179#prodSlot=large_1_23              $69.99

http://www.target.com/p/tevolio-women-s-satin-one-shoulder-rosette-maxi-dress-fashion-colors/-/A-14421730#prodSlot=_1_5                  $34.99

http://www.sears.com/ever-pretty-ever-pretty-charming-empire-waist-bowtie/p-000000000000000190820000000000000HE09060P?prdNo=3&blockNo=3&blockType=G3    $29.99

OP I think the last one from Sears is really nice for the price!!!!

I agree check out ebay and preownedweddingdress.com for some other ideas.  I understand find things under $50 seems difficult but it really shouldn't be that bad...just avoid the word "bride" and you can find wonerdful things for a 1/3 the price!!!!

The "ever-pretty" brand from Sears has lots of styles to choose from in the $30-$40 - long and short.  I bought one for a wedding I'm in in January.  The bride wanted long and purple - very not my style so I didn't want to spend a lot.  Pretty happy with my find!

Maggie0829

atlastmrsg said:

This is a know your crowd kind of question, but are any of these girls out of town?  If they can't afford a $60 dress, I could see someone bailing because they can't afford gas/hotel/etc. to come in for the wedding.  Also, adjust your expectations.  If you're one of the brides here who will freak out when the bridesmaids don't throw her a big shower or a trip for a bachelorette party, it's time to reality check.  No money for dress means they aren't going to Vegas with you or spending to have champagne and a zillion cupcakes from a bakery at a shower.  Make sure you're emotionally prepared for that.  Maybe you already are.

I get that I'm pretty standard white girl with #firstworldproblems--I spend money needlessly on things like Starbucks and Panera when I could make my own coffee/pack a lunch for work, so I'm doing fine but not living extravagantly--but $45 for a bridesmaid dress is low.  Have these girls been in a wedding before?  If you've walked through David's, you know nothing there is that inexpensive.  Some of the second hand dresses on eBay sell for more than that if they're really current or long.

But, regardless of what I would spend, what I think they should spend, or what you want them to spend, the bottom line is that you're stuck with their budget since you've asked them.  Now you have to be creative and work with it or pony up the difference.  AND, if any dress requires alterations, you'll be going over $45.  Have a plan for that, which likely means you'll have to pay to make sure the dress fits.

All of this.  I too think that $45 for a BM dress is pretty darn low, but I am not your BM, they are, so you are going to have to deal with their budgets.  Just take a few days to think things through and come up with a plan on how you want to proceed (whether it be giving them a color, fabric and length and letting them find their own dress, or figuring out a price that you are good with and that you can afford to contribute to each dress).

Viczaesar

aja0813 said:

Oh my.. this sounds like you have got a lot on your plate.. The way I look at it , is if you asked your girlfriends/relatives etc to be a bridesmaid they should know what they signed up for. A dress, hair/makeup etc. If they cannot afford it, I would throw them out of the bridal party to be blunt.

I have a decent budget, therefore I am paying for my 6 bridesmaids dresses but they were all comfortable around 200-225 mark . I actually didn't even ask them they just know the deal when they were asked.

Get rid of the cheapos! 

JFC.  AWFUL advice.  Just horrible.

levioosa

kschilb13 said:

SO. My wedding is in May 2015. A few months ago I asked my bridesmaids what their budgets were for their dresses. They agreed that the $50-$100 range was acceptable. Okay, kind of stressful as my style is more formal and not the mismatch-y vintage-rustic thing everyone seems to go for anymore. But no problem, we'll work around it. So I've found several styles I like under $100. I set up a date and time to go dress shopping that worked for everyone. I showed one maid a $60 dress and she said she'd have a hard time even affording that. Then my MOH told me one of the maids wasn't going because she "didn't want to go shopping for a dress she couldn't afford." NOW I'm upset and stressed out of my gourd. I'm bending over backwards to make these girls happy as they're all students/recent grads and money's tight, but it doesn't seem to be enough. So am I in the wrong here when I feel like I'm doing a lot to help out? I've honestly considered unasking the one who said she wasn't going shopping for a dress she couldn't afford and maybe asking her to be a guestbook attendant or something. I don't want to end this friendship but we're not really close anymore. HELP.

I saw that you updated and that the budget was now $45.  Your options are a)pick a dress at that budget, b)pay for anything over that amount or c)pick a color and let them buy their own dress in that color. 

Do not "unask" anyone.  That is incredibly hurtful.  And please don't give them a "job."  It isn't an honor.  Demoting/unasking someone is a friendship ending move.  

These women are supposed to be your nearest and dearest.  All that is required is for them to show up sober, in good spirits and in the dress on the day of the wedding.  If you have made every effort to meet their budgets and they refuse to buy the dress, then they have taken themselves out of the wedding.  But I would hate to see you ruin a friendship over something so petty.  

Keep in mind that $60 to you might not be a big deal, but it might be to them.  It is for me.  That's gas for my car to get to work for a week.  Would I budget and save to pay for a dress?  Yes, but don't write off $60 as chump change.  It's still $60. 

Ignore knottienumbers and aja.  They have given you horrible "advice."  

MairePoppy

kschilb13 said:

I really don't want to unask anyone. I honestly don't have the heart. But we can't fit it in the budget to pay for 6 dresses. Also, there are SO many different shades of "Plum" varying between designers and even just fabrics that I'm scared to just have them pick their own. I wanted floor-length dresses, but finding them for cheap isn't easy, it seems, so I'm willing to do an elegant cocktail length dress. I was thinking these (in plum):

http://www.weddingtonway.com/products/alfred-sung-d462-bridesmaid-dress?&sku=de-d462-italian-plum

http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Short-One-Shoulder-Taffeta-Dress-with-Beading-F15409?cm_mmc=PinterestMER-_-ClothingAccessories_Dresses_Women_BridesmaidDresses-_-F15409-_-ShortOneShoulderTaffetaDresswithBeadingStyleF15409&mr:trackingCode=DFB613CE-C7DA-E311-8948-001B21A69EB0&mr:referralID=NA

http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Satin-Gown-with-Side-Drape-Brooch-8567?cm_mmc=PinterestMER-_-ClothingAccessories_Dresses_Women_BridesmaidDresses-_-8567-_-SatinGownwithSideDrapeBroochStyle8567&mr:trackingCode=56B313CE-C7DA-E311-8948-001B21A69EB0&mr:referralID=NA

http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Strapless-Long-Charmeuse-Dress-with-Slit-F44447?cm_mmc=PinterestMER-_-ClothingAccessories_Dresses_Women_BridesmaidDresses-_-F44447-_-StraplessLongCharmeuseDresswithSlitStyleF44447&mr:trackingCode=14B713CE-C7DA-E311-8948-001B21A69EB0&mr:referralID=NA

http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Strapless-Satin-A-line-with-Pleated-Chiffon-Bodice-F13573_Bridal-Party-Bridesmaids-Dresses-Under-$100?cm_mmc=PinterestMER-_-ClothingAccessories_Dresses_Women_BridesmaidDresses-_-F13573-_-StraplessSatinA-linewithPleatedChiffonBodiceStyleF13573&mr:trackingCode=B0B613CE-C7DA-E311-8948-001B21A69EB0&mr:referralID=NA

Please be careful about shopping for dresses on line. Many of those web sites sell cheap knock off dresses made in China. If your bms are struggling with their budgets, it would be awful if they were stuck with dresses that aren't wearable or returnable.

Check out this site: http://www.bridestore.info/#!sites-to-avoid/cmbl

You could ask on the Attire board if anyone has dealt with this company.

Your wedding is scheduled for May 2015 so there's time to shop for bm dresses. You might be able to get some good deals in the department stores on formal wear, after the holidays. Also, bridal salons, including David's, have end of season deals to make way for new merchandise. Keep an eye on David's on line outlet, because sizes become limited very quickly. With the budgetary constraints, I wouldn't wait much past New Years to look for the dresses.

Don't listen to the posters who are advising you to ditch your friends because they are having financial issues. Someday you may need those friends when life isn't treating you kindly.

mrsmagicgeek

OP, did you ask them for their budgets separately? Or in a group email/text?

kelseykhaos

I originally asked in a Facebook group poll. I asked separately today, as I didn't realize it was such a big issue. I went crying to my MOH freaking out and she promptly sent me about 10 links to affordable dresses. (:

artbyallie

kschilb13 said:

I originally asked in a Facebook group poll. I asked separately today, as I didn't realize it was such a big issue. I went crying to my MOH freaking out and she promptly sent me about 10 links to affordable dresses. (:

Yes, asking separately is very important because otherwise there is peer pressure to go along with the first amount anyone says.

You may also consider picking a general color family and length and letting them shop on their own. I bought a bridesmaid dress (Jim Hjelm I think?) at a consignment store for $20. Of course, I was then out 20 bucks for a dress I never wore because SIL decided it wasn't light enough and ended up picking a $60 department store sundress for all her bridesmaids, but that's another story.

doeydo

Some options:

http://www.forever21.com/shop/ca/en/women-dresses

https://www.wetseal.com/boho-chic-tube-maxi-dress-49987850.html?dwvar_49987850_color=481&utm_source=linkshare&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=Hy3bqNL2jtQ&siteID=Hy3bqNL2jtQ-HHx0r4sh3skhlI_vVjUUDw

http://us.dorothyperkins.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/CatalogNavigationSearchResultCmd?langId=-1&storeId=13065&catalogId=34072&beginIndex=1&viewAllFlag=false&pageSize=20&sort_field=Relevance&searchTerm=plum&x=0&y=0#langId=-1&storeId=13065&catalogId=34072&beginIndex=1&viewAllFlag=false&pageSize=20&sort_field=Relevance&searchTerm=plum&x=0&y=0&refinements=Price{2}~[40|45]^category~[339496|-13065]&noOfRefinements=1

http://www1.macys.com/shop/womens-clothing/dresses/Color_normal,Price,Sortby,Productsperpage/Purple,0%7C45,ORIGINAL,40?id=5449&edge=hybrid&cm_sp=us_hdr-_-women-_-5449_dresses

http://www.kohls.com/catalog/womens-purple-dresses-clothing.jsp?CN=4294720878+4294902470+4294719462+4294719810&N=4294720878+4294902470+4294719462+4294719810+13+12&S=4

That said, you can have mismatched bridesmaids dresses and still look formal:

mjk5415

Seems to me that you  have a few Bridezillas answering your post!!

I just began my wedding planning, w'er planning for Oct. 2015 I have not asked my BMs about a budget yet, but I don't want them to spned hundreds of $$ on a dress they will never wear again. The Ever-Pretty brand at Sears.com has very nice floor-length, purple dresses (thats my color too!!).  Quite a few in a darker plum shade, the lowest price being approx $28.99 and most being under or around $60.

I do agree that you should not unask anyone but in that same aspect, your BMs should have politely declined if they were finicially unable to put money towards things. There are always other important wedding day jobs for them to be apart of.

Hopefully the sites your MOH provided are helpful, that's what she is there for!!

[Deleted User]

mjk5415 said:

Seems to me that you  have a few Bridezillas answering your post!!

I just began my wedding planning, w'er planning for Oct. 2015 I have not asked my BMs about a budget yet, but I don't want them to spned hundreds of $$ on a dress they will never wear again. The Ever-Pretty brand at Sears.com has very nice floor-length, purple dresses (thats my color too!!).  Quite a few in a darker plum shade, the lowest price being approx $28.99 and most being under or around $60.

I do agree that you should not unask anyone but in that same aspect, your BMs should have politely declined if they were finicially unable to put money towards things. There are always other important wedding day jobs for them to be apart of.

Hopefully the sites your MOH provided are helpful, that's what she is there for!!

mjk5415

I'm curious as to what other important wedding day jobs I can give people who can't financially be a bridesmaid.

weddingcactus

kelseykhaos said:

SO. My wedding is in May 2015. A few months ago I asked my bridesmaids what their budgets were for their dresses. They agreed that the $50-$100 range was acceptable. Okay, kind of stressful as my style is more formal and not the mismatch-y vintage-rustic thing everyone seems to go for anymore. But no problem, we'll work around it. So I've found several styles I like under $100. I set up a date and time to go dress shopping that worked for everyone. I showed one maid a $60 dress and she said she'd have a hard time even affording that. Then my MOH told me one of the maids wasn't going because she "didn't want to go shopping for a dress she couldn't afford." NOW I'm upset and stressed out of my gourd. I'm bending over backwards to make these girls happy as they're all students/recent grads and money's tight, but it doesn't seem to be enough. So am I in the wrong here when I feel like I'm doing a lot to help out? I've honestly considered unasking the one who said she wasn't going shopping for a dress she couldn't afford and maybe asking her to be a guestbook attendant or something. I don't want to end this friendship but we're not really close anymore. HELP.

You asked these girls to be bridesmaids because they are your friends. Now you have a specific aesthetic you wish to achieve (formal) that is beyond (some of) their budgets. You feel like you're bending over backwards? Uhh. Sure sounds like you're not bending over backwards to make this work. If you feel like $60-100 is not that much money, why don't you buy their dresses for them? Or at least for the ones that cannot afford it. Being a student or a recent grad can be really tough financially. What if buying a dress for your wedding means they can't eat for the week? You need to decide what is more important to you: your aesthetic or having these girls pay for their own dresses. Ultimately, yes, you can do whatever you'd like. But do you still want to have these girls as friends? If you do, then you need to find a way to make this work without making a friendship ending move like demoting them.

esstee33

$45-$60 can be a LOT of money, especially as OP has already stated that they're in school or recent grads. When I was fresh out of college, I was definitely not able to spend $45 on a dress. Every penny I had went to gas to get back and forth to work and food so I didn't die. $60 wouldn't be a big deal to me now, but hoooo boy it was back then. 

OP, please don't demote people or give people jobs. Give them a color and material and let them find whatever dress they can within their respective budgets. There are always options that don't result in hurting your friends' feelings!