Bridesmaids Dresses Dilemma.

BMoreBride6

Let me just put something into perspective here for a second.  My got married last November.  I asked one of my best friends to be a bridesmaid.  Everyone agreed on the budget, we found the dresses...great!  However this friend then realize she couldn't afford the dress any more.  Her medical bills were too high.  I bought her dress, she looked wonderful, it was a great day!

I lost that same friends last Wednesday to cancer.  I will forever have the memory of her sharing in my wedding.  No money could change that.  I would pay for that dress a hundred times over to preserve that memory we shared together. 

XrebeccaX

I hope you will be able to find a dress you like and that everyone is happy with, OP. Some of the women here have come up with some great options!

While I agree you should not un-ask anyone (as you said you don't have the heart to do anyway), I do think it is great you started out by asking people for a budget. That's very considerate and it's a courtesy that was never extended to me for the four weddings I was in - which led to me spending more than $250 on a dress my junior year of college. At the time it was an enormous expense...in fact it was more than a month's rent for me back then!

$45 does seem low but some of the responses here prove that it's do-able. Your friends obviously want to participate, they just need to do it in a way that also works for them. Good luck!

MobKaz

aja0813 said:

Oh my.. this sounds like you have got a lot on your plate.. The way I look at it , is if you asked your girlfriends/relatives etc to be a bridesmaid they should know what they signed up for. A dress, hair/makeup etc. If they cannot afford it, I would throw them out of the bridal party to be blunt.

I have a decent budget, therefore I am paying for my 6 bridesmaids dresses but they were all comfortable around 200-225 mark . I actually didn't even ask them they just know the deal when they were asked.

Get rid of the cheapos!



You sound like a lovely and compassionate person.

MobKaz

kelseykhaos said:

Update: Just re-asked my bridesmaids their budgets. One of them said $45... I'm willing to pitch in for part of it, but this just seems really low...

I feel for you.  The budget is definitely low, and it sounds like you are trying hard to keep the friendship first and foremost in your mind.  I have one other idea that may help blend the best of all worlds.

Would you consider black dresses?  It is possible you could find even simple, long black gowns within the budget parameters. You might be able to find matching styles if you went this route.  What you could then do is find a way to incorporate your plum colors into the dresses.  The style might lend itself to a simple and inexpensive plum sash.  You could incorporate the plum color into the BM bouquets with plum flowers or ribbons.  If the girls all wore a simple black heel, you might even be able to find a plum shoe clip with which to embellish the shoes.

mrscolemanballard

Please also keep in mind they are a lot of other costs associated with being a BM, especially for someone who does not live in the same city as you. 

They have to travel at the very least for your wedding weekend, and possibly for a shower and/or bachelorette weekend as well. All of those occasions also require purchasing gifts for the bride and/or couple. If it is not her hometown, she may have to pay for lodging and/or rental car for the weekend. Most likely she'll also have to purchase shoes and jewelry to match. 

Just saying, your BM might have all of these other expenses on her mind and it may be manifesting itself in the price of the dress itself. Have you ever been in a wedding? Think of all the $$ you had to spend on things OTHER than the dress, it adds up. With all that being said though, $60 is quite low...