The baby question.....

PrettyGirlLost

amelisha said:

huskypuppy14 said:

beethery said:

huskypuppy14 said:

No one has really bugged us yet. A few random people made a comment here or there, but nothing major. Our parents aren't bugging us. I they would love a grand baby, but they are cool.  

I really hate when people say, oh now it's time for a baby. And when you say: "oh not yet, we just want to enjoy being married" they say "oh well sometimes you don't have control over those things" (this came from a co worker that recently had a child).

WTF. I've been having sex for 16 years and I haven't gotten pregnant yet.  And it's certainly not god that's made me not get pregnant, it's called birth control.

I would have lost my shit and probably gotten fired for what I would have said to that coworker.

I just gave her a weird look. This was like the day I came back to work after my wedding. I'm sure she meant well, but seriously.  This same woman also was obviously pregnant for months before she said anything to anyone at work (including her boss).

Yeah, sometimes people accidentally get pregnant, but it hasn't happened to me yet. I also have to get off one of my medications before I get pregnant, because it  can cause birth defects and miscarriage. Not that that's any of her business. 

So much this. My parents' friends' kids all have multiple babies already (mostly while unmarried, not that it matters to me but I bet it does to said parents' friends) and they occasionally make snarky comments to my mother about how lucky she is not to be grandmother yet ("but aren't you excited? Bet it'll be soon!") and whenever she tells me this I always tell her that luck has nothing to do with it and her excellent, responsible parenting and sex education does, haha. Accidents do happen, but I've always been very careful about contraception because I don't want a baby now and probably not ever. In fact, I'm planning to get an IUD shortly so I'll have longer-term, less hormonal, reliable birth control for five years or so.

I'm selfish, I like my money, time, and my body the way it is. I'd rather take care of my fiancé than a kid...I've been a nanny and I know how much work kids are even when they aren't yours. Nopenopenope.

Ugh, I hate when women  say this- it fuels the bullshit mommy wars.

You are NOT selfish for recognizing you don't want kids at this point in your life, or even never.  You are being fucking responsible as far as I'm concerned.

Just because women are typically physically able to reproduce, doesn't mean they need to or should want to.

climbingsingle

OH MY GOD. 

I just read the rest of this post now. WHO IS IT!?!?!?! Who said those terrible things and then came back!?!!?

climbingsingle

Wait! I think I figured it out! 

PrettyGirlLost

WinstonsGirl said:

QueerFemme said:

It does trip me out that she came back here after saying how TK was a time suck and increased her anxiety and she didn't want it in her life anymore and blah blah blah blah, after she GBCK'd a few times.   And now comes back with a totally different fakeass name and acts like it's all new & rosey and makes a bunch of new homies. 

I vaguely remember some post about this.  And it's come up a few times recently about posters who have GBCK's and returned with a new name.  I honestly don't know how you all figure this out.  The FB group you mentioned makes sense, but some of you are crazy god sleuths like the Bump girls in the shit show post.  I almost wish there was a place to track new names so I could remember who old pp's were, though I can understand some people wanting privacy/a new start and that wouldn't be fair.  Some pp's have annoyed me and I would want know if they're back, but I can also respect wanting the anonymity of a second chance again.  

What's this now?

luckya23

Don't start if you don't have an hour or two... http://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12462811/newb-in-town

PrettyGirlLost

luckya23 said:

Don't start if you don't have an hour or two... http://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12462811/newb-in-town

Thanks for the warning, lol!

sarahufl

PrettyGirlLost said:

luckya23 said:

Don't start if you don't have an hour or two... http://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12462811/newb-in-town

Thanks for the warning, lol!

Oh, this sucked away hours of my life. Great sleauthing skills, though.

cupcait927

I'm so confused.

arrippa

luckya23 said:

Don't start if you don't have an hour or two... http://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12462811/newb-in-town

I stayed at work late just to read this thread. I was tired of the good threads being deleted in between reading at work and going home.

VulgarGirl

Get to page 11! The google sleuthing pays off on page 11. You can kind of skim the other pages as you go.

Sleuthing is also hard for me to spell today. I tried it three different ways.

luckya23

Don't forget page 18 ;-)

sarawifenow

OMG that thread was SO good. I am so glad I clicked here. @luckya23--THANK YOU!!!!

VulgarGirl

So I'm not gonna jump in over there and I don't know those people but...why is everyone asking if Fake Wife of Fake Girl cheated with a dude or a chick? 

I'm making an assumption their both lesbians. So...why would she go nail a dude? Yes I know we all watched Queer as Folk and Lindsey did it and we all watched The L Word and Tina did it, but lets remember real life =/= TV. If she's a lesbian, and she cheated on her lesbian wife, it was with another chick because SHE'S A LESBIAN.

Of course, I don't know these people and maybe Fake Wife is actually bi or Fake Girl didn't know if it was with a girl or a guy. I dunno. But if I came on here all "OMG Wife cheated on me" I'd assume you'd all know it was with another chick in less I specifically said, with a dude.

Also @luckya23 I got bored at 15 and quit so thanks for telling me to go to page 18. It. Got. Better.

esstee33

MagicInk said:

So I'm not gonna jump in over there and I don't know those people but...why is everyone asking if Fake Wife of Fake Girl cheated with a dude or a chick? 

I'm making an assumption their both lesbians. So...why would she go nail a dude? Yes I know we all watched Queer as Folk and Lindsey did it and we all watched The L Word and Tina did it, but lets remember real life =/= TV. If she's a lesbian, and she cheated on her lesbian wife, it was with another chick because SHE'S A LESBIAN.

Of course, I don't know these people and maybe Fake Wife is actually bi or Fake Girl didn't know if it was with a girl or a guy. I dunno. But if I came on here all "OMG Wife cheated on me" I'd assume you'd all know it was with another chick in less I specifically said, with a dude.

Also @luckya23 I got bored at 15 and quit so thanks for telling me to go to page 18. It. Got. Better.

See, I don't agree with this. But, then, I tend to more or less believe the Kinsey scale to be an accurate representation of human sexuality in all its complexity. Or, at least, most of its complexity. I don't think there's a rigid three-column option of only STRAIGHT/GAY/BI.  

I think it's completely absurd and totally irrelevant for anyone to ask or even care whether the person she cheated with was a man or woman, but I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility that it COULD have been a guy. Two of my best friends from high school dated guys, realized that they were in love with each other, then spent the next 14 years together, until one of them cheated a few months ago, with a guy to whom she's now married and having a child with. Literally nobody saw that coming. 

My mother and sister also both fell in love with women, despite identifying as straight, and stayed in those relationships for years before ending things and eventually having relationships with men. Neither of them considered themselves bi before those relationships. I'm not sure if they do now. 

VulgarGirl

esstee33 said:

MagicInk said:

So I'm not gonna jump in over there and I don't know those people but...why is everyone asking if Fake Wife of Fake Girl cheated with a dude or a chick? 

I'm making an assumption their both lesbians. So...why would she go nail a dude? Yes I know we all watched Queer as Folk and Lindsey did it and we all watched The L Word and Tina did it, but lets remember real life =/= TV. If she's a lesbian, and she cheated on her lesbian wife, it was with another chick because SHE'S A LESBIAN.

Of course, I don't know these people and maybe Fake Wife is actually bi or Fake Girl didn't know if it was with a girl or a guy. I dunno. But if I came on here all "OMG Wife cheated on me" I'd assume you'd all know it was with another chick in less I specifically said, with a dude.

Also @luckya23 I got bored at 15 and quit so thanks for telling me to go to page 18. It. Got. Better.

See, I don't agree with this. But, then, I tend to more or less believe the Kinsey scale to be an accurate representation of human sexuality in all its complexity. Or, at least, most of its complexity. I don't think there's a rigid three-column option of only STRAIGHT/GAY/BI.  

I think it's completely absurd and totally irrelevant for anyone to ask or even care whether the person she cheated with was a man or woman, but I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility that it COULD have been a guy. Two of my best friends from high school dated guys, realized that they were in love with each other, then spent the next 14 years together, until one of them cheated a few months ago, with a guy to whom she's now married and having a child with. Literally nobody saw that coming. 

My mother and sister also both fell in love with women, despite identifying as straight, and stayed in those relationships for years before ending things and eventually having relationships with men. Neither of them considered themselves bi before those relationships. I'm not sure if they do now. 

I complete agree with you there. It's not out of the realm of possibility for someone to have identified as gay/straight to realize they aren't so much or be attracted to someone of a different gender then they usually are.

But what I'm saying (and cold medicine so...I know I'm not making a lot of sense) is that if it were a straight woman whose husband cheated, would the first question be if it were with a man or a woman? Or would they just assume woman? 

I feel like when it comes to homosexuality, and especially for women, there's the idea that exists that at any point you're gonna want the dick eventually. I get the "What? You've never had sex with a dude? How do you know you aren't straight then?" kind of questions. I feel like this falls into the same line. As a gay woman, clearly you might run off and jump on a dick, cause you ain't getting dick from your regular sex partner and we all know that dick is what makes sex sex. Where as a straight woman, if you cheat, it's not assumed you're running after pussy. Because you're getting dick, you'll probably go get more dick.

Did...did that make more sense? 

esstee33

MagicInk said: esstee33 said: MagicInk said: So I'm not gonna jump in over there and I don't know those people but...why is everyone asking if Fake Wife of Fake Girl cheated with a dude or a chick? 
I'm making an assumption their both lesbians. So...why would she go nail a dude? Yes I know we all watched Queer as Folk and Lindsey did it and we all watched The L Word and Tina did it, but lets remember real life =/= TV. If she's a lesbian, and she cheated on her lesbian wife, it was with another chick because SHE'S A LESBIAN.
Of course, I don't know these people and maybe Fake Wife is actually bi or Fake Girl didn't know if it was with a girl or a guy. I dunno. But if I came on here all "OMG Wife cheated on me" I'd assume you'd all know it was with another chick in less I specifically said, with a dude.
Also @luckya23 I got bored at 15 and quit so thanks for telling me to go to page 18. It. Got. Better. See, I don't agree with this. But, then, I tend to more or less believe the Kinsey scale to be an accurate representation of human sexuality in all its complexity. Or, at least, most of its complexity. I don't think there's a rigid three-column option of only STRAIGHT/GAY/BI.  
I think it's completely absurd and totally irrelevant for anyone to ask or even care whether the person she cheated with was a man or woman, but I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility that it COULD have been a guy. Two of my best friends from high school dated guys, realized that they were in love with each other, then spent the next 14 years together, until one of them cheated a few months ago, with a guy to whom she's now married and having a child with. Literally nobody saw that coming. 
My mother and sister also both fell in love with women, despite identifying as straight, and stayed in those relationships for years before ending things and eventually having relationships with men. Neither of them considered themselves bi before those relationships. I'm not sure if they do now.  I complete agree with you there. It's not out of the realm of possibility for someone to have identified as gay/straight to realize they aren't so much or be attracted to someone of a different gender then they usually are.
But what I'm saying (and cold medicine so...I know I'm not making a lot of sense) is that if it were a straight woman whose husband cheated, would the first question be if it were with a man or a woman? Or would they just assume woman? 
I feel like when it comes to homosexuality, and especially for women, there's the idea that exists that at any point you're gonna want the dick eventually. I get the "What? You've never had sex with a dude? How do you know you aren't straight then?" kind of questions. I feel like this falls into the same line. As a gay woman, clearly you might run off and jump on a dick, cause you ain't getting dick from your regular sex partner and we all know that dick is what makes sex sex. Where as a straight woman, if you cheat, it's not assumed you're running after pussy. Because you're getting dick, you'll probably go get more dick.
Did...did that make more sense? 

************** OH FUCKING BOXES ***************

Yeah, this makes much more sense. 

I think the fucking horrific attitude of "oh, well, you're just confused/experimenting/haven't met the right guy yet" toward lesbians is appalling. I also think it's the driving force behind that question of whether it was with a man or woman. People who don't understand sexuality like to believe that the gender of the person you're currently fucking defines your sexual orientation in total, for now and eternity, even when time and time again, life proves otherwise. So when a lesbian has an affair with a man, or vice versa, lots of rubberneckers like to point the finger and say "AHA! I KNEW YOU WERE STRAIGHT ALL ALONG!!!!" These are typically the same knuckle-draggers who believe sexual orientation is a choice. 

esstee33

@MagicInk - Have you ever seen this? (CLICKY)

It's my all-time favorite thing to reference when people start with the heteronormativity shit, and I think it's really relevant to your last post, with the whole "straight is the default" assumption inherent in questioning the person's gender. 

slothiegal

MagicInk said:

So I'm not gonna jump in over there and I don't know those people but...why is everyone asking if Fake Wife of Fake Girl cheated with a dude or a chick? 

I'm making an assumption their both lesbians. So...why would she go nail a dude? Yes I know we all watched Queer as Folk and Lindsey did it and we all watched The L Word and Tina did it, but lets remember real life =/= TV. If she's a lesbian, and she cheated on her lesbian wife, it was with another chick because SHE'S A LESBIAN.

Of course, I don't know these people and maybe Fake Wife is actually bi or Fake Girl didn't know if it was with a girl or a guy. I dunno. But if I came on here all "OMG Wife cheated on me" I'd assume you'd all know it was with another chick in less I specifically said, with a dude.

Also @luckya23 I got bored at 15 and quit so thanks for telling me to go to page 18. It. Got. Better.

SIGH, because we all know that you would be straight if you would just TRY the d.  Obviously.

VulgarGirl

esstee33 said:

@MagicInk - Have you ever seen this? (CLICKY)

It's my all-time favorite thing to reference when people start with the heteronormativity shit, and I think it's really relevant to your last post, with the whole "straight is the default" assumption inherent in questioning the person's gender. 

Omg that's fantastic! I always just stare at them and go "so you've had sex with a man/women to make sure you're straight? "

sophhabobopha

Damn ladies. Where was  I?

esstee33

MagicInk said:

@MagicInk - Have you ever seen this? (CLICKY)

It's my all-time favorite thing to reference when people start with the heteronormativity shit, and I think it's really relevant to your last post, with the whole "straight is the default" assumption inherent in questioning the person's gender. 

Omg that's fantastic! I always just stare at them and go "so you've had sex with a man/women to make sure you're straight? "

#13 absolutely cracks my shit up every time. BUT WHICH ONE OF YOU IS THE MAN???? 

WinstonsGirl

MagicInk said:

I complete agree with you there. It's not out of the realm of possibility for someone to have identified as gay/straight to realize they aren't so much or be attracted to someone of a different gender then they usually are.

But what I'm saying (and cold medicine so...I know I'm not making a lot of sense) is that if it were a straight woman whose husband cheated, would the first question be if it were with a man or a woman? Or would they just assume woman? 

I feel like when it comes to homosexuality, and especially for women, there's the idea that exists that at any point you're gonna want the dick eventually. I get the "What? You've never had sex with a dude? How do you know you aren't straight then?" kind of questions. I feel like this falls into the same line. As a gay woman, clearly you might run off and jump on a dick, cause you ain't getting dick from your regular sex partner and we all know that dick is what makes sex sex. Where as a straight woman, if you cheat, it's not assumed you're running after pussy. Because you're getting dick, you'll probably go get more dick.

Did...did that make more sense? 

This is so dumb.  I've never had sex with a woman yet I know I'm not gay.  What a stupid question.   

ETA - I know it's not you asking the question, but hearing it.  Maybe I'm tired, but my post is confusing me slightly.  

PrettyGirlLost

luckya23 said:

Don't forget page 18 ;-)

There's more?! O.o