Just Engaged and Proposals

Bummed

Its probably more of a vent, but maybe someone has something to pull me out of this funk.

My sister is getting married soon. My then boyfriend pulled her aside and said he was going to propose. You think she'd be happy, right? Well after going out doing wedding errands for her wedding and grabbing a drink she TOLD me he was going to propose and had a ring. She wants this to be her year. She thinks him proposing to me means he doesn't like her. 

I'm trying to get over her hurtful actions and move on. I'm mad she made a happy moment in my life dramatic. She's mad I'm not letting it go. It's just so typical of her. I'm having a hard time doing anything for her wedding. I spent a few thousand on her shower and bach party, fought tooth and nail to get everyone together and she has to pull this. On top of that she has to add subtle digs (Apparently my gorgeous ring looks fake to her!!). I'm having a hard time getting into MOH spirit. I don't even have a dress for her wedding and am verrrrrry unmotivated to get one. 

If anyone has dealt with or has any words of wisdom I'd love to take any advice.

Re: Bummed

  • mikenbergermikenberger In a f'n cornfield member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    You need to get over it. Holding onto it isn't going to help. I understand that your feelings are hurt (And shame on her for being a beast) but you will each have your own special day. As long as he doesn't propose at any event having to do with your wedding, she should be happy for you and you should be ecstatic about getting engaged.

    You cannot change her feelings towards it. If she can't see that she's taking away from your special moment, that's on her. She's really only going to be detracting from her own special time in getting married and enjoying all the events and activities that are going on for her.

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  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    irishfly said:
    Its probably more of a vent, but maybe someone has something to pull me out of this funk.

    My sister is getting married soon. My then boyfriend pulled her aside and said he was going to propose. You think she'd be happy, right? Well after going out doing wedding errands for her wedding and grabbing a drink she TOLD me he was going to propose and had a ring. She wants this to be her year. She thinks him proposing to me means he doesn't like her. 

    I'm trying to get over her hurtful actions and move on. I'm mad she made a happy moment in my life dramatic. She's mad I'm not letting it go. It's just so typical of her. I'm having a hard time doing anything for her wedding. I spent a few thousand on her shower and bach party, fought tooth and nail to get everyone together and she has to pull this. On top of that she has to add subtle digs (Apparently my gorgeous ring looks fake to her!!). I'm having a hard time getting into MOH spirit. I don't even have a dress for her wedding and am verrrrrry unmotivated to get one. 

    If anyone has dealt with or has any words of wisdom I'd love to take any advice.

    I am confused. So you are engaged now?

    This all sounds pretty petty to me. Just let it go. You both are going to marry the loves of your lives, nothing else matter. be happy for each other.

     And it doesnt matter how much you spent on her shower/ bach party. No one forced you to do that, it was your choice it has no baring on this story.

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Your sister sounds like a brat. 

    She basically ruined your boyfriend's proposal because she wants this to be "her year". F that noise. You can get married/engaged/pregnant/whatever any time you want. She gets ONE day. One. Ugh - people sometimes....

    Don't tell your boyfriend she ruined the surprise. If y'all end up getting married, that could cause lasting bitterness for a very, very long time.
    *********************************************************************************

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  • amelishaamelisha Canadian Texas member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    In my opinion, she would only be in the right if he'd proposed at her wedding.

    Otherwise? Sorry. Life does not stop for everyone around you when you're wedding planning.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Your sister acted like a horse's ass. She doesn't get a year. I'd be pretty hurt and upset if I were you too. 

  • My words of wisdom? I'd tell her to blow it out her ass.
    This. Sorry sister, you get ONE DAY, not 365. 

    That said, just don't let her petty bitchiness bring you down. Rise above it!

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  • Thank you for letting me vent. Yes he proposed anyway. I'm a very lucky girl! I'm in agreement that this is a milestone and should be celebrated. Life is hard enough, we should always be lifting each other up. I spent the time and money on her shower and bachlorette party because I want to. Because I wanted to make each moment personal and memorable. Its just a slap in the face to see that she's not on the same page. If the roles were reversed I would NEVER tell her she was about to get proposed to. That's such a special moment (as you all know!) and it still was. It just getting hard to feel that same excitement leading into her wedding as I had a couple months before. She's always lived the "me above all" motto, but I did not think she'd do this to her sister. Who knew when you get engaged you get your own wedding year. I'll have to inform my engaged friends of this new rule.  
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Well, CONGRATS!! 

    I can understand not being overly thrilled with her right now. But don't let her crappy attitude ruin your happiness or excitement. 

  • Congrats on your engagement!!! 

    Your sister is acting an immature, entitled jerk. It sounds like you know her well enough that the "me above all" attitude will be toxic to your wedding planning. Keep her out of the picture as much as possible so that you can enjoy this experience and this special time.
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  • Thanks for letting me vent. I'm a lucky girl as we all are to find love amoung the craziness that is going on in this world. I'm gonna put on a Taylor swift song and shake it off
  • Congrats on your engagement! I saw your ring in another thread and it's gorgeous.

    It's too bad your sister doesn't have the capacity to be happy for you. My husband's brother got engaged in December 2012...we got engaged in July 2013...they were married in September 2013. Then my husband's sister got engaged in December 2013 and we got married in September of this year...everyone's lives move at their own pace and the happiness compounds and overlaps, ideally!

    Best wishes to you and your future husband.
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited October 2014
    If a man proposes marriage and is accepted by the lady of his choice, then NOTHING can ruin the proposal.  NOTHING!!!

    Well, if he is hit by a truck while he is down on his knees, maybe.

    Get over your dramatic expectations.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • misshart00misshart00 Oklahoma member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    CMGragain said:
    If a man proposes marriage and is accepted by the lady of his choice, then NOTHING can ruin the proposal.  NOTHING!!!

    Well, if he is hit by a truck while he is down on his knees, maybe.

    Get over your dramatic expectations.

    I'm not sure what this has to do with OP. She didn't say she had dramatic expectations of her proposal.
    slothiegalirishflyrajahmd
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited October 2014
    Maybe I misread her post.  I thought she was upset because the surprise element was missing?
    DH surprised me when he proposed after being reunited for four days after a seven year gap.  I was just happy.  I didn't care how he proposed.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • misshart00misshart00 Oklahoma member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    CMGragain said:
    Maybe I misread her post.  I thought she was upset because the surprise element was missing?
    DH surprised me when he proposed after being reunited for four days after a seven year gap.  I was just happy.  I didn't care how he proposed.

    I got that she was upset because sister claimed an entire year for her proposal/marriage and sister was mad her FI chose to propose during "her" year.
    amelisharajahmd
  • Sit her by the trash can at your wedding ;)

    On a serious note, it was uncaring for her to do that to you and it sounds like you are going to many extremes to please her. Have a serious talk and tell her how you feel. If she is still rude or unapologetic, tell her you would like to stand down as MOH. 

    She will either: 

    1. Realize how serious you are and decide to apologize and ask for you to remain in her wedding

    or 

    2. She will be okay with you standing down or she won't even care (in which case she must really not give a sh*t about how you feel which just shows her selfishness.)
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