Trying to find my purpose

themuffinman16

 Every since I was young I always wanted to give back to the community. Without social programs, I probably wouldn't be here, today.  When I was around 9 years old, my mom, my sisters and me became homeless. We lived in a city mission for almost a year. I remember it feeling like a hotel and the fanciest place I have ever lived. I remember the choices for cereal and that I was allowed to have more than one bowl.  I remember feeling full, and not going to bed hungry for the first time in a long time.  I remember only having one garbage bag of clothes when we got there, for all 5 of us.  We got all "new" clothes at the second hand clothes closet. It never felt like the stigma of not having a home, thanks to the people working there and my mother, it always felt like an adventure.

   During election season, I always get so disheartened by people claiming that everyone on welfare is a bunch of blood suckers on the system. There are some people who abuse the system, and then there are others who couldn't imagine that they would ever be in that situation, and are really motivated people that fell on hard times. I always found myself cursing those politicians out, but never did anything about it.

  This year, I am putting my life into action. I used to always say I want to do this or I want to do that.  Now, I am getting my butt in gear and doing what I always wanted to do.  I am volunteering at the city mission with my niece, and it feels so good to do for others what has been done for me. I have no idea what took me so long to do it, but I am glad I am no longer making excuses and trying to be the good I saw in others when I was young.  I am even happier that my niece wants to join me! I know it will be hard to see others in that situation without the naivety of childhood, but it's well past time I paid my good fortune back.

AddieCake

That is wonderful that you are doing this, and I love that your niece wants to help, too.

larrygaga

Do you want us to clap for you?

mschristie123

That's wonderful!!! I'm so impressed that you're following through on something you are so passionate about and has had such an affect on you personally. I'm sure it will be such a rewarding experience for you and your niece!

I totally agree with what you said about politicians casting those on assistance as vultures or blood suckers. It makes me SO.MAD. I'm so happy that your mom was able to get you guys back on your feet, with the help of social programming!

Jells2dot0

I'm glad that you have found a great way to give back! It's nice to be involved with something you are so passionate about, and in your case, sharing it with your niece! 

I am making some changes in the direction of my life this next year. Not anything with quite the impact of what you are doing, but I've learned a lot from my recent journey, as you have during yours. 

themuffinman16

No, larry, no clap, just embarrassed that it took me so long to try and do something that, for once, didn't revolve around me.

holyguacamole79

That is awesome that you're doing that!

Knottie37373131

chibiyui

futuremrsk515 said:

I love this. I don't believe that every person on welfare is a bloodsucker, . . . but many are. I believe that welfare and help is wonderful for those that truly need it. I have worked in a grocery store for almost nine years. I will always be bothered by people who yell and scream at us because their energy drink did not ring up on their food stamp cards. Or when somebody spends a couple hundred dollars on crab legs, steaks, and other luxury meats. I had a lady complain about how expensive food was, spent $300 on crap. (all on her foodstamp card) She bought about 30 of those dollar cookie cups. People not on food stamps can't afford to eat that way. I think this is why I love the WIC program. It requires that people request the items they truly need and allows them to get the necessities that are required to feed their children. Sorry for my rant, but this bothers me.

You know what. I would love if just once, welfare was brought up in conversation and someone wasn't like " welfare is great for people who truly need it, but I once interacted with a couple assholes on assistance, so therefore we need reform because obviously they didn't truly need it"

JCbride2015

futuremrsk515 said:

I love this. I don't believe that every person on welfare is a bloodsucker, . . . but many are. I believe that welfare and help is wonderful for those that truly need it. I have worked in a grocery store for almost nine years. I will always be bothered by people who yell and scream at us because their energy drink did not ring up on their food stamp cards. Or when somebody spends a couple hundred dollars on crab legs, steaks, and other luxury meats. I had a lady complain about how expensive food was, spent $300 on crap. (all on her foodstamp card) She bought about 30 of those dollar cookie cups. People not on food stamps can't afford to eat that way. I think this is why I love the WIC program. It requires that people request the items they truly need and allows them to get the necessities that are required to feed their children. Sorry for my rant, but this bothers me.

I am disgusted and repulsed by.... pretty much all of this.

You sound like a judgmental uppity asshole.  Who the fuck are you to judge what people on food stamps can eat?

larrygaga

futuremrsk515 said:

I love this. I don't believe that every person on welfare is a bloodsucker, . . . but many are. I believe that welfare and help is wonderful for those that truly need it. I have worked in a grocery store for almost nine years. I will always be bothered by people who yell and scream at us because their energy drink did not ring up on their food stamp cards. Or when somebody spends a couple hundred dollars on crab legs, steaks, and other luxury meats. I had a lady complain about how expensive food was, spent $300 on crap. (all on her foodstamp card) She bought about 30 of those dollar cookie cups. People not on food stamps can't afford to eat that way. I think this is why I love the WIC program. It requires that people request the items they truly need and allows them to get the necessities that are required to feed their children. Sorry for my rant, but this bothers me.

I actually love when people say things like this. Then I know who is too stupid to bother talking to. 

theartistformerlyknownas

I like the use of "luxury meats." That's right up there with "cacophony of cheeses."

ohannabelle

futuremrsk515 said:

I love this. I don't believe that every person on welfare is a bloodsucker, . . . but many are. I believe that welfare and help is wonderful for those that truly need it. I have worked in a grocery store for almost nine years. I will always be bothered by people who yell and scream at us because their energy drink did not ring up on their food stamp cards. Or when somebody spends a couple hundred dollars on crab legs, steaks, and other luxury meats. I had a lady complain about how expensive food was, spent $300 on crap. (all on her foodstamp card) She bought about 30 of those dollar cookie cups. People not on food stamps can't afford to eat that way. I think this is why I love the WIC program. It requires that people request the items they truly need and allows them to get the necessities that are required to feed their children. Sorry for my rant, but this bothers me.

The entire Federal Assistance Program, the last time I looked- a couple of years ago, when arguing with a friend's particularly ignorant SO- accounted for less than 1% of the entire Federal Budget. 

So, let's take a look at these lobster buying motherfuckers.

Avg. recipient, Caucasian, female, single, two children, unemployed.

Note that these are the MAXIMUM allowable food benefits through 2015. Straight from the government website.

SNAP Food Stamp Program
Maximum Monthly Allotments
People in HouseholdNovember 1, 2013 through September 30, 2015

1 person $189

2 persons $347

3 persons $497

etc....

So that makes an average meal...you can check my math if you like, but I'm coming up with 1.80 cents per person per meal. Maximum.

Less than 6 dollars a meal, family of 3. 

And you know, I'm sitting here in my nice warm house on my fat little ass, eating my pumpkin pecan cake and drinking my nice  8 dollar a pound coffee...and wondering where these people shop, that they can afford steak and lobster on that budget, when hamburger costs more per pound than their entire meal budget? And who these women are, who are willing to starve, and starve their children, so they can blow the entire monthly budget on cookies? Because it really doesn't seem likely to me. Impressive as hell, but I think it's a bunch of shit.

You do realize, that the entire Federal assistance program is funded by less than 2 cents out of every tax dollar you pay? And if they cut that, I doubt they'll give your 2 cents back.

If I'm helping to feed, house, and immunize children while their mothers (or fathers) get back on their feet, I really just don't get all stabby about that two fucking cents of my tax dollar. It may just be the best thing they do with my money. Even if those wily lobster buying bastards collect for the entire two year maximum.

(And no, I don't believe your stories of 300 dollars worth of cookie and candy and crab legs. I just don't believe it. It's a shitty, unmerciful way to portray the poorest struggling members of our society.  At best, it's a gross exaggeration.) 

Hell, why stop with thinking you have the right to tell them what foods to buy? As long as you're dictating their food choices, you could tell them where to live, and what to do...shit, bring back the workhouses, so we get our two cents worth. Poor farms. That worked, didn't it? Because, obviously, poor women don't have the right to choose their own groceries. They gave that up when they took that 2 cents from your tax dollar. 

ohannabelle

Also, good for you, Muffin. 

That was what I was going to say originally, before my brain went into shock.

Knottie37373131

JCbride2015

futuremrsk515 said:

I work two jobs and am not on food stamps. I have no problem with hard working people who need the help of the assistance. However, it is often times abused. Governmental assistance should be used to help people get back onto their feet, not as a lifestyle. I am sorry that I have offended some people.

So you're saying sorry you're not sorry. And implying you are better than those who need assistance. Charming.

larrygaga

futuremrsk515 said:

I work two jobs and am not on food stamps. I have no problem with hard working people who need the help of the assistance. However, it is often times abused. Governmental assistance should be used to help people get back onto their feet, not as a lifestyle. I am sorry that I have offended some people.

You should be more sorry for spewing ignorant garbage out of your mouth for everyone else to have the misfortune to read. Learn something.

JCbride2015

larrygaga said:

futuremrsk515 said:

I work two jobs and am not on food stamps. I have no problem with hard working people who need the help of the assistance. However, it is often times abused. Governmental assistance should be used to help people get back onto their feet, not as a lifestyle. I am sorry that I have offended some people.

You should be more sorry for spewing ignorant garbage out of your mouth for everyone else to have the misfortune to read. Learn something.
Yeah that's worst nonapology ever. @futuremrsk I'm sorry I just had to read that bullshit. I'm sorry you have bought into hateful ignorant stereotypes. I'm sorry you are so goddamn superior you can't feel empathy for people. I'm sorry you feel the need to judge those who are most in need of compassion.

ohannabelle

Poverty is a lifestyle? Hell, who knew? 

There's a reason it's called Temporary Assistance. The maximum allowable benefit is two years, during which participants attend job search and education activities about 40 hours per week. 

The majority of recipients receive benefits for only a few months.

It is actually rarely abused. That's another myth. The requirements are strict, compliance enforced, and very few people are willing to risk breaking federal laws for that little money. Try walking into a government agency and defrauding them, in whatever way you imagine people are. 

If the waste of government money on food and medical assistance for children pisses you off, maybe you shouldn't look too hard at where the other 98 cents of your tax dollar goes. 

You could go to the Federal Government websites and look up the facts, but it sounds like you get your information from Facebook memes. 

afox007

I don't think that we need to do away with food stamps, but what futuremrs said isn't completely unheard of. I've been in line behind people buying groceries with their food stamp card and then paying cash for an equal amount of booze. Not my money not my business, but if you can afford the booze out of your own pocket I don't see how your food needs to be paid for.

My best example is FIs ex who obviously proves the ones who do abuse it probably have bigger issues. She got 500 a month when FSS and his sister loved with her. FI and I were constantly bringing over groceries for a few months until we were finally able to take the kids because tere was meet any good at home. Mom would blow the 500 on soda, chips, cookies, pop tarts, and apple juice, yeast, and brown sugar. Since food stamps won't pay for booze she would make cider (FI actually was doing that for years just because and it's quite yummy, and she used it as her loophole).

I know for every few people like this there are tons who genuinely need and are grateful for the help. The program should be left alone, I'm just playing devils advocate and pointing out futuremrs isn't necessarily some heartless jackass trying to starve children.

chibiyui

afox007 said:

I don't think that we need to do away with food stamps, but what futuremrs said isn't completely unheard of. I've been in line behind people buying groceries with their food stamp card and then paying cash for an equal amount of booze. Not my money not my business, but if you can afford the booze out of your own pocket I don't see how your food needs to be paid for.

My best example is FIs ex who obviously proves the ones who do abuse it probably have bigger issues. She got 500 a month when FSS and his sister loved with her. FI and I were constantly bringing over groceries for a few months until we were finally able to take the kids because tere was meet any good at home. Mom would blow the 500 on soda, chips, cookies, pop tarts, and apple juice, yeast, and brown sugar. Since food stamps won't pay for booze she would make cider (FI actually was doing that for years just because and it's quite yummy, and she used it as her loophole).

I know for every few people like this there are tons who genuinely need and are grateful for the help. The program should be left alone, I'm just playing devils advocate and pointing out futuremrs isn't necessarily some heartless jackass trying to starve children.

I'm going to refer to my original post. This was not the place to bitch about assistance abuse. Of course there are assholes who abuse the system. Anything that exists some asshole is trying to game. It's bullshit that people get upset over welfare and not corporate tax loop holes. Guess which one costs more money? Hint, it's not welfare.

JCbride2015

afox007 said:

I don't think that we need to do away with food stamps, but what futuremrs said isn't completely unheard of. I've been in line behind people buying groceries with their food stamp card and then paying cash for an equal amount of booze. Not my money not my business, but if you can afford the booze out of your own pocket I don't see how your food needs to be paid for. My best example is FIs ex who obviously proves the ones who do abuse it probably have bigger issues. She got 500 a month when FSS and his sister loved with her. FI and I were constantly bringing over groceries for a few months until we were finally able to take the kids because tere was meet any good at home. Mom would blow the 500 on soda, chips, cookies, pop tarts, and apple juice, yeast, and brown sugar. Since food stamps won't pay for booze she would make cider (FI actually was doing that for years just because and it's quite yummy, and she used it as her loophole). I know for every few people like this there are tons who genuinely need and are grateful for the help. The program should be left alone, I'm just playing devils advocate and pointing out futuremrs isn't necessarily some heartless jackass trying to starve children.

Yes, of course I understand that there are of course a very small minority of people who will take advantage.  I'm not saying there is zero fraud in government assistance and I don't think anybody else is saying that, either.  But that tiny amount of fraud should not cause everyone to be painted with the same brush.

But as a larger point, I think it's NMB what somebody on food stamps buys with that money (or the rest of their money).  I know what it's like to live on government assistance and sometimes those little luxuries go a really long way toward making you feel normal or like you're worth something.  As a kid, I always felt second-rate because everything in our cabinets was generic brand, never any fun snacks.  My mom would buy a whole chicken and take it down into sections herself because even the difference in price between a whole chicken and the chicken breasts was enough to break her budget.  If every once in a while she had a little extra money and wanted a nice bottle of wine or some chocolate or *gasp* crab legs to give herself a small treat, who is anybody else to judge her for that?

When my mom could afford it, she gave me a quarter-- a QUARTER-- at the corner store to buy myself something.  Sometimes I would buy two NowNLaters for ten cents each.  I'd save the nickel until next time so I could have three NowNLaters with my next quarter.  I'd eat one and then wait another few days to have the second or third one so I felt like I always had a little something special to look forward to.  You know what else I often bought with my quarter?  Ramen noodles.  Because I'd get hungry after school and we wouldn't have any snacks, and I like that Ramen would help keep me full until dinner.  

It's cruel to say that poor people don't deserve to have anything nice, or delicious, or comforting.  I hope somebody out there is buying candy for their kids with my tax money.  I hope every once in a while, somebody buys a little booze with the money they have left over in their food budget after they use their food stamps.  And I hope that mom sits down at her kitchen table and pours herself a glass of wine and gets five minutes of peace, because everybody I've ever known on food stamps or welfare is working their ass off just to stay afloat.

larrygaga

JCbride2015 said:

afox007 said:

I don't think that we need to do away with food stamps, but what futuremrs said isn't completely unheard of. I've been in line behind people buying groceries with their food stamp card and then paying cash for an equal amount of booze. Not my money not my business, but if you can afford the booze out of your own pocket I don't see how your food needs to be paid for. My best example is FIs ex who obviously proves the ones who do abuse it probably have bigger issues. She got 500 a month when FSS and his sister loved with her. FI and I were constantly bringing over groceries for a few months until we were finally able to take the kids because tere was meet any good at home. Mom would blow the 500 on soda, chips, cookies, pop tarts, and apple juice, yeast, and brown sugar. Since food stamps won't pay for booze she would make cider (FI actually was doing that for years just because and it's quite yummy, and she used it as her loophole). I know for every few people like this there are tons who genuinely need and are grateful for the help. The program should be left alone, I'm just playing devils advocate and pointing out futuremrs isn't necessarily some heartless jackass trying to starve children.

Yes, of course I understand that there are of course a very small minority of people who will take advantage.  I'm not saying there is zero fraud in government assistance and I don't think anybody else is saying that, either.  But that tiny amount of fraud should not cause everyone to be painted with the same brush.

But as a larger point, I think it's NMB what somebody on food stamps buys with that money (or the rest of their money).  I know what it's like to live on government assistance and sometimes those little luxuries go a really long way toward making you feel normal or like you're worth something.  As a kid, I always felt second-rate because everything in our cabinets was generic brand, never any fun snacks.  My mom would buy a whole chicken and take it down into sections herself because even the difference in price between a whole chicken and the chicken breasts was enough to break her budget.  If every once in a while she had a little extra money and wanted a nice bottle of wine or some chocolate or *gasp* crab legs to give herself a small treat, who is anybody else to judge her for that?

When my mom could afford it, she gave me a quarter-- a QUARTER-- at the corner store to buy myself something.  Sometimes I would buy two NowNLaters for ten cents each.  I'd save the nickel until next time so I could have three NowNLaters with my next quarter.  I'd eat one and then wait another few days to have the second or third one so I felt like I always had a little something special to look forward to.  You know what else I often bought with my quarter?  Ramen noodles.  Because I'd get hungry after school and we wouldn't have any snacks, and I like that Ramen would help keep me full until dinner.  

It's cruel to say that poor people don't deserve to have anything nice, or delicious, or comforting.  I hope somebody out there is buying candy for their kids with my tax money.  I hope every once in a while, somebody buys a little booze with the money they have left over in their food budget after they use their food stamps.  And I hope that mom sits down at her kitchen table and pours herself a glass of wine and gets five minutes of peace, because everybody I've ever known on food stamps or welfare is working their ass off just to stay afloat.

ohannabelle

@JCBride2015 said: I  hope somebody out there is buying candy for their kids with my tax money. 

I hope so, too. There's a big bin in front of our grocery store for food bank donations, and sometimes it makes me sad to look in it. Lots if Top Ramen, lots of boxed macaroni and cheese, lots of canned corn. It's better than nothing. And all those things are very well and good, and would fill someone's stomach.

But make an extra effort, and throw in something you'd actually like to eat. A jar of good pasta sauce, potato soup with bacon bits, rather than the cheap generic chicken noodle. You know?  

And yes to treats. A pack of puddings or a desert mix or fun fruit snacks or a box of good cookies or bag of candy. Because kids. Especially at the holidays, when children feel their poverty more keenly. Spend an extra couple bucks on dessert. Cheer someone up. 

Same with the clothing bank. Every year with back to school shopping, my kids chose one good looking outfit from their budget to donate. In lean years, sometimes it's just one new shirt. But for God's sake, new! Just let some kid get a really cool new shirt from a nice store, let some little girl have something pretty and actually in fashion, instead of worn out crap in plastic bags that isn't good enough for your own kids.

Hearts and self esteem need to be fed, too. Especially children's. 

 

theartistformerlyknownas

Wait a minute, Muffin I just saw your new avatar! Do you have something to tell us?!?

themuffinman16

hahaha... no. went on to see the crazy bump thread and they turned me into a prego avatar. NOT COOL!

PrincessOfHavoc

Yes, there are those who will abuse any assistance programs.

However, that's all that makes the news. Naughty cheaters, kill the programs.....

I am incredibly spoiled. We always had money. I could do all the fun things I wanted. I had clean water and healthy, yummy food. Had plenty of clean clothes. Had soft, warm blankets and a roof over my head.

I work retail. I like it. I used to work in a grocery store. For every one cheater wanting a hand out, at least 30 who needed a hand up came through my line. Nearly all had children. I refuse to damn a highly vulnerable portion of society because a few adults are cheats.

Florida drug tests/tested unemployment applicants. The headlines ran versions of *clutch my pearls* 2% were found to use drugs *faint in horrified shock* Which was true. But very much bull shit. Because national average of drug use was 7-9% then. So, rather than naughty cheaters, it was actually that unemployment reduced illegal drug use.

Furthermore - "luxury meats" for me are cheaper. I can make a roast into 6-7 meals. A pound of hamburger is one meal. My roast costs $10. Hamburger is $3 per pound - which becomes $18-21 for the same time I'm enjoying my luxury roast.

Now add in - parent or parents are working multiple part time jobs. Can't afford to fix the stove and doesn't really have time to prepare meals. Cheap, easy junk becomes the only option.

If anyone can't recognize how damn spoiled they are to have clean water and enough healthy food to thrive, march your butt to your nearest shelter or soup kitchen and volunteer for a month. Being honestly and sincerely thanked for serving a bowl of soup is eye opening to say the least.

To OP - I think it's wonderful that you are teaching your niece humanity and kindness for all.

theartistformerlyknownas

themuffinman16 said:

hahaha... no. went on to see the crazy bump thread and they turned me into a prego avatar. NOT COOL!

Oh shit! Not cool at all!

climbingsingle

larrygaga said:

futuremrsk515 said:

I work two jobs and am not on food stamps. I have no problem with hard working people who need the help of the assistance. However, it is often times abused. Governmental assistance should be used to help people get back onto their feet, not as a lifestyle. I am sorry that I have offended some people.

You should be more sorry for spewing ignorant garbage out of your mouth for everyone else to have the misfortune to read. Learn something.

Your attitude is really repulsive. You have NO idea what that person buying food with food stamps is feeling. That person that bought crab legs? Maybe that was the first time they splurged on something like that in years. The fact is - YOU DON'T KNOW anything about what could be going on in this person's like. 

@furturemrsk515 you should read this

http://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2014/07/08/this-is-what-happened-when-i-drove-my-mercedes-to-pick-up-food-stamps/

climbingsingle

Oh and Muffin - good on your for giving back. That's really awesome of you!

JCbride2015

ClimbingBrideNY said:

larrygaga said:

futuremrsk515 said:

I work two jobs and am not on food stamps. I have no problem with hard working people who need the help of the assistance. However, it is often times abused. Governmental assistance should be used to help people get back onto their feet, not as a lifestyle. I am sorry that I have offended some people.

You should be more sorry for spewing ignorant garbage out of your mouth for everyone else to have the misfortune to read. Learn something.

Your attitude is really repulsive. You have NO idea what that person buying food with food stamps is feeling. That person that bought crab legs? Maybe that was the first time they splurged on something like that in years. The fact is - YOU DON'T KNOW anything about what could be going on in this person's like. 

@furturemrsk515 you should read this

http://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2014/07/08/this-is-what-happened-when-i-drove-my-mercedes-to-pick-up-food-stamps/

I can see it coming now: "I work two jobs, I wouldn't let this happen."