Wedding Dress Hesitation

katekha13

First off - I have NO hesitations about my future husband. 

We're getting married in May of 2015, and I have yet to try on any dresses, even though we are fairly far along in our planning. 

I finally set a date for dress shopping and realized I am petrified of coming up empty-handed because I am so set on what I want. I fear that I won't be in love with the gowns once they're on me. Anyone else have this fear? I feel like every other bride is just elated to go dress shopping and it's the one element of wedding planning I keep putting off. 

Maggie0829

It is fine to have an idea of what you want, but you also need to be open minded to new ideas.  A lot of times brides have this set idea of what they want only to try that style on and hate it, then turn around and pick something completely different.

So just go and have fun trying on dresses.  Try on what you think you want and then go from there. But don't be disappointed if what you think you want doesn't work.  Just try on different silhouettes and figure out what shape is best for you and then go from there.  Also know that you may not find your dress on your first shopping trip and that is okay.  You will get an idea of what you like and don't like so that during your next shopping trip you have a better idea of what you want.

Finally, if you do find THE dress during this shopping dress, stop looking at dresses.  Just like with men (or women), there are thousands upon thousands of dresses out there so once you find one you love you just need to stop searching.

Ndelible

Be open!  That's the key.  You will be surprised by what looks good on you.  Good luck!

amelisha

Honestly, it's just a piece of clothing. If you keep building it up in your mind like this, you WON'T find a dress because your expectations are unrealistic. I promise, there is not One True Gown out there...you'll find something you love and that makes you feel beautiful.

esstee33

What @amelisha said. Angels are not going to come down from the sky and sing to you when you put one specific dress on. Go in, try on a huge variety of different styles, even if you think you won't like them, and see if any of them make you feel warm fuzzies. If none do, just pick the one you like best. Not everyone is excited about dresses, and that's cool. 

weddingcactus

I had a similar concerns of not finding a dress I really liked. (I won't even use the term "love", I just wanted to find something that I felt pretty in.) Just go into it with an open mind and try to enjoy yourself. Do not set your expectations sky high because you may not end up liking what you're picturing in your head now. 

I highly recommend going in and figuring out what you do like in dresses. Personally, I think picking the sillhouette is key. Figure out what shape looks best on you and then go from there. Try things on that maybe you aren't initially expecting to like and see what happens. And do not expect "angels singing" (to quote the eloquent esstee33). Not everyone has that kind of a feeling. The important thing is to get out there and just start trying stuff on until you find a dress that works for you. 

carrie0924

I actually just bought my dress this weekend. I felt a little funny at first because I didn't ever have a "THE ONE!" feeling when I was trying on dresses, and so many people say "Oh you'll just know when it's THE ONE!" I wasn't feeling too well, trying on a million dresses exhausted me since I couldn't fully breathe to start with, and I loved the shop I was at so I just wanted to buy something. I narrowed it down to three, took lots of pictures of those three, and had my measurements taken. We went to dinner, I looked at the pictures on my friend's camera's tiny display, and chose the one I thought looked most flattering on me in the pictures. These pictures were all candids with me making ridiculous faces, slouching, etc, so if the dress looked good in these crappy pictures, I knew it would look fantastic with hair & makeup done & me feeling my best. All of my friends and my mom kept asking "Are you sure that's THE ONE?" I finally was able to phrase it to them like this: My fiance is "THE ONE!" All of these dresses make me feel amazing. I will feel amazing marrying him in any of these. The finer nuances of this beading versus that beading or this material over that material really felt way less important than I had previously thought they were once I was trying on dresses. I picked the most flattering dress and ordered it. NOW it is THE ONE, but I didn't feel that way until after I actually decided that, if that makes sense.

lovesclimbing

amelisha said:

Honestly, it's just a piece of clothing. If you keep building it up in your mind like this, you WON'T find a dress because your expectations are unrealistic. I promise, there is not One True Gown out there...you'll find something you love and that makes you feel beautiful.

This. As long as it looks nice on you, you feel pretty in it, and you like it, you're good.  TV shows and all the wedding hype makes it seem like you'll sob and fireworks will go off and, as @esstee31 said, angels will come down and sing.  Yes, there are a few women on here who've had that, there are quite a lot who didn't, myself included.

My dress was pretty, it looked nice, and it was inexpensive, which was the most important part.  I don't like the way my back looked in it, looking at some of the from the back pictures my photog took.  But, I won't frame those, so it's all good.

All that to say, there are so many dresses out there, you will find something you like, but don't build it up too much in your head, and don't worry if you don't have a tears and "Oh my goodness, it's the one!" moment.