Scattered Bridesmaids: How to choose a dress when they can't make a fitting

rockandroll322

I need help!

Only 1 person in my wedding party lives in the US, everyone else is in a different country!  Also, my US bridesmaid lives on the other coast.  Any suggestions on how to choose bridesmaid dresses that will fit everyone?  We all decided on having the exact same dress and different color shoes.  And I can't choose different bridesmaids ;-)  We don't really have time for a tailor to touch up the dress before the wedding.  It would have to be very small touch ups as most of the party will only get into town 24 hours before.

What brands do the best job of making/sizing a dress without the person there?

What are the best methods on sizing well?

Thanks for your help!

Maggie0829

I know you said that you all decided on the exact same dress, but with your BMs spread all over the world, why not just tell everyone to buy a knee length black dress and call it a day?  I mean you could even specify fabric if you want.  Then the different colored shoes would go with the color dress.  And then if you want them to have something matching you can purchase them jewelry (bracelet/earrings...but you can't count that as their gift) and make sure that all their bouquets are the same.

holyguacamole79

rockandroll322 said:

I need help!

Only 1 person in my wedding party lives in the US, everyone else is in a different country!  Also, my US bridesmaid lives on the other coast.  Any suggestions on how to choose bridesmaid dresses that will fit everyone?  We all decided on having the exact same dress and different color shoes.  And I can't choose different bridesmaids ;-)  We don't really have time for a tailor to touch up the dress before the wedding.  It would have to be very small touch ups as most of the party will only get into town 24 hours before.

What brands do the best job of making/sizing a dress without the person there?

What are the best methods on sizing well?

Thanks for your help!

Have you already spoken to each of them individually regarding their budget for a dress?  In your case, I suggest an "executive decision" taking into consideration their budget (choose a dress that the woman with the lowest budget can still afford).  If it's from a store like David's Bridal, she can go in and get measured herself and handle her own alterations.  You don't need them all there for alterations.

cafarrie

You could go with a department store.  Nordstrom, Macy's, even Target have bridal/bridesmaid sections that have standard dress sizes that the girls can easily return if they don't fit.  If for some reason they don't ship to a country your girls live in, buy a couple different sizes for her and then let her try when she gets to the US.  Return the ones that don't work.  Also, department stores often have very similar dresses for much less money than bridal stores. 

ETA: I did something similar, but just happened to find clearance dresses at a department store and knew all their general sizes.  I bought like 10 dresses in various sizes and let them try on when i saw them.  I ended having to order a couple more (4 of 5 girls ended up needing the same size) but was able to easily return the ones we didn't need. 

I should also add:  I planned to purchase the dresses for them from the beginning and none of them had a strong preference on style (I asked...).  So when i saw something I loved that worked, i just bought them.  If they had hated them, or didn't flatter everyone I would have returned and started over. 

theartistformerlyknownas

If you absolutely insist upon it being the same dress, I would try to get some consensus via email, have them get measured by a seamstress, order all the dresses yourself, and ship them to them so they all have time to get them altered in their home countries. There's no reason they should be waiting until the day before the wedding to get their hands on their dresses.

As far as fit, I'd choose something flowy (jersey or chiffon) rather than form-fitting or structured to have the best chance of fitting and looking good on everyone. Something like <this>

[Deleted User]

It almost seems like you're asking for trouble by requiring the same dress for different size women in different countries!  If they were just in different US states, then you could just declare a dress from a particular store and ask they buy it.  But I just don't see how someone living in Japan or Sweden would be able to buy something from the states.  Shipping fees alone might make a simple dress cost prohibitive.

southernbelle0915

My BMs were scattered over 3 states. We never went shopping for BM dresses outside of sending links via email, let alone fittings. 

I picked a designer, a length, a color, and a fabric and told them to order whatever they wanted. I went with Ann Taylor, knee length, navy and silk georgette. There were about 4 or 5 styles to pick from, but they all looked "uniform" and they all got something they felt comfortable in. Plus it didn't take forever like DB, AA or BL and the return policy was great.

Jen4948

Can you find a dress online that the seller can ship to overseas addresses? Or, can you purchase them and ship them to your bridesmaids so they can get them tailored (you and they will need to discuss and agree on purchase, shipping, handling, and alteration costs and any reimbursements before you do this).

Or just choose a color and style and let each figure it out where they are.

[Deleted User]

I just really don't understand the draw of having several women all wearing the same dress.  I stood up at my cousin's wedding in Brazil.  (The bride and the groom each chose 8 couples, so 16 people per side, so 32 in the wedding party.  But then everything about this wedding was over the top.)  The email going around between all the women was what color dress we'd be wearing so that we could AVOID wearing the same color.  And when one of the girls found herself walking in behind a girl who was wearing a similar color dress to hers, asked me to switch spots with her so they'd have a different dress in between their similar dresses. The only requirement was a long dress, and that we tell the group the color as soon as we bought it.

cowgirl8238

I really like the idea of choosing a color/length/fabric and letting the girls choose whatever dress they want.  It eliminates the problem you are facing but it still looks uniform on the wedding day.

peachy13

Echoing PPs, find a designer and color, and tell your BMs. I'm doing this, and am going to let the BMs who aren't nearby to pick whatever style dress they want as long as it's the same designer and color and length.

levieenrose

Like the PP's, we had four girls in different states and one overseas. We did the color, length, and cut suggestions which went over really well--my MOH has found three other occasions in which to wear her dress already! (a true success in my book!) They looked fantastic and and happy and relaxed with their choices. 

Sometimes giving too little direction might be uncomfortable for some of them. When I asked for the color, length, and cut (I asked for a high neckline), I also provided links to a number of "pre-approved" dresses they could order on line, to give them an idea of what I meant, and also what they could easily go to if they didn't like the idea of picking whatever they wanted. Their fabric came out different, but actually complemented each other beautifully--lace, silk, cotton, and tulle.

STARMOON44

1. Ask them each, privately, what their budget and size is.

2. Email them several different options within the smallest budget that are available in all the sizes you need.

3. Is there a dress they all like? Done. If not, repeat step 2.

4. Ship the dresses to them wherever they live. Either direct from the store or you have them shipped to you and mail them yourself to the women.

5. They have any alterations done where they live and travel with the dresses.

"Overseas" usually has mail.

minttobemrsb

I agree with the general consensus: pick a color and length (maybe even a fabric) and let them get their own dress. My friend had 2 MOH plus 6 bridesmaids. We were all very different sizes, plus we lived all over the state, some being hours away from the bride, and one out of state. We also had different budgets. She found a local department store that sells BM dresses online and let us choose. She said knee length and brown, which gave us about 6-7 options from their bridal section. A few of us had the same dresses and she was okay with that and moved people around in order to make it look nice. It looked very pretty and people didn't have to worry about "not pulling off strapless or empire waist" or whatever the case may be.