How long until you can snark on not receiving a TY?

climbingsingle

I'm just curious. You know, for a friend. 

I thought a Heather Dubrow gif-fest was perfect for this. 

theartistformerlyknownas

2 months, 3 max. 2 weeks if I don't like them.

climbingsingle

We're just about to hit the 2 months mark. 

larrygaga

It's been 4 months for me and I noticed a paragraph of "thank you for stuff" posted on facebook directed at everyone on facebook. I guess that's my thank you note. That was for the shower, so I intend on not giving them a gift at the wedding.

climbingsingle

larrygaga said:

It's been 4 months for me and I noticed a paragraph of "thank you for stuff" posted on facebook directed at everyone on facebook. I guess that's my thank you note. That was for the shower, so I intend on not giving them a gift at the wedding.

What?!!? That is crazy! Holy shitballs. 

l9i

I went to a wedding last summer and I'm still waiting....

Kidding, I was pretty sure I'd never get one and they proved me right.  I did feel some slight gratification in swiftly declining that baby shower invite I received recently from the same couple. (side note: we aren't friends, I've only been around her maybe 3 seperate occasions over the last few years.  Our husbands work together.)

larrygaga

ClimbingBrideNY said:

larrygaga said:

It's been 4 months for me and I noticed a paragraph of "thank you for stuff" posted on facebook directed at everyone on facebook. I guess that's my thank you note. That was for the shower, so I intend on not giving them a gift at the wedding.

What?!!? That is crazy! Holy shitballs. 

I am related to some extraordinarily self-centered and rude people. 

My only consolation is that everyone is really pissed at her and nobody wants to get her stuff for her wedding. We will probably ruin her little 19 year old life.

dcbride86

lolo883 said:

2 months, 3 max. 2 weeks if I don't like them.

I felt SO bad - I had a couples shower a couple weeks ago, and it took me 10 days to get all the thank yous out.  I found out the day after the shower that my grandmother has early onset Alzheimer's Disease, and I found out my Bar results last Friday, so between helping my grandma and having anxiety attacks every night (seriously), it took me WAY too long to get them out.  I feel AWFUL about it, but hopefully people will understand because that's so not like me.  I usually have them out within 2-3 days.

theartistformerlyknownas

ssautter said:

lolo883 said:

2 months, 3 max. 2 weeks if I don't like them.

I felt SO bad - I had a couples shower a couple weeks ago, and it took me 10 days to get all the thank yous out.  I found out the day after the shower that my grandmother has early onset Alzheimer's Disease, and I found out my Bar results last Friday, so between helping my grandma and having anxiety attacks every night (seriously), it took me WAY too long to get them out.  I feel AWFUL about it, but hopefully people will understand because that's so not like me.  I usually have them out within 2-3 days.

Ease it on down girl. 10 days is still lightning speed compared to most people. You're well in the clear.

I'm sorry about your grandma. I hope you are able to spend some good time with her before it gets too bad.

dcbride86

lolo883 said:

ssautter said:

lolo883 said:

2 months, 3 max. 2 weeks if I don't like them.

I felt SO bad - I had a couples shower a couple weeks ago, and it took me 10 days to get all the thank yous out.  I found out the day after the shower that my grandmother has early onset Alzheimer's Disease, and I found out my Bar results last Friday, so between helping my grandma and having anxiety attacks every night (seriously), it took me WAY too long to get them out.  I feel AWFUL about it, but hopefully people will understand because that's so not like me.  I usually have them out within 2-3 days.

Ease it on down girl. 10 days is still lightning speed compared to most people. You're well in the clear.

I'm sorry about your grandma. I hope you are able to spend some good time with her before it gets too bad.

Thank you so much.  It's so hard, especially for her.  Luckily she still has "strong brain stems" according to the doctor, so she's usually pretty okay.  We just have to keep her mentally and physically engaged, so it's a matter of visiting her as much as possible. 

My FMIL actually had a GREAT idea that my grandma could help me put all the guest bags together!  It gets us to spend time together, engages her mentally, AND keeps her excited about the wedding (keeping her excited about things is a HUGE deal). 

littlemushroom

I am still waiting on a thank you from a wedding that was May 3. I heard at the 2 month mark that they were waiting for some thank you cards with wedding pictures on them. Who knows what the story is now. I see these people all the time and have never even gotten a verbal thank you for the check we gave.

climbingsingle

ssautter said:

lolo883 said:

2 months, 3 max. 2 weeks if I don't like them.

I felt SO bad - I had a couples shower a couple weeks ago, and it took me 10 days to get all the thank yous out.  I found out the day after the shower that my grandmother has early onset Alzheimer's Disease, and I found out my Bar results last Friday, so between helping my grandma and having anxiety attacks every night (seriously), it took me WAY too long to get them out.  I feel AWFUL about it, but hopefully people will understand because that's so not like me.  I usually have them out within 2-3 days.

I'm sorry about your grandmother. My grandfather had it, and my FIL was just diagnosed with it. We found out right after we returned from our honeymoon. 

Do not feel awful about 10 days! Girl, that is nothing!

kns1988

Well, your gift could always turn out to be that one gift that they couldn't identify...

loro929

I am still waiting on them from a wedding I went to this spring...

climbingsingle

kns1988 said:

Well, your gift could always turn out to be that one gift that they couldn't identify...

She definitely cashed the check I gave her! And the check had my name on it...

sarahufl

I went to an absolute MESS of a wedding in early August. I sent them a shower gift in June or so and haven't heard ANYTHING. I don't even know if they got it.

Last I heard (from the MOG) is that they hadn't done their thank you's yet because they took photos at the wedding holding "thank you" signs and they hadn't come in yet. 

Um, ok- so just use another type of card?

sarawifenow

ClimbingBrideNY said:

kns1988 said:

Well, your gift could always turn out to be that one gift that they couldn't identify...

She definitely cashed the check I gave her! And the check had my name on it...

Eeek! That is so rude. I say go forth with the side eye and snark. I am definitely side eyeing for you.

WinstonsGirl

We're waiting on an Aug wedding.  Their invite had an insert asking for cash for their HM, which they aren't actually taking.  They just wanted cash.  We gave a boxed gift.  Maybe that's why we haven't gotten one??  

RebeccaFlower

I'm seriously snaking another May 3rd wedding. Check cashed, so I know they got it.

Sometimes I wonder if people really believe that absurd 1 year rule? Like if they really weren't taught better. 

FTR, my shower notes were out on Wednesday for a Sunday shower and wedding notes were done the week after and mailed in waves. 

dcbride86

RebeccaFlower said:

I'm seriously snaking another May 3rd wedding. Check cashed, so I know they got it.

Sometimes I wonder if people really believe that absurd 1 year rule? Like if they really weren't taught better. 

FTR, my shower notes were out on Wednesday for a Sunday shower and wedding notes were done the week after and mailed in waves. 

My understanding is that the 1 year rule applies to when you can GIVE a wedding gift, not when you should send your thank you... Right?  It doesn't apply at all to thank you card timelines

KatieinBkln

"Waiting" on a thank-you from a wedding I attended in July. I am not holding out a lot of hope. It's a shame, since it's one of my oldest friends, and I know he cashed the check. Sometimes I tell myself it's my abysmal post office's fault.

KytchynWitche

I would say 2 months. A bit more for leeway if there's a postal strike or something though. I haven't started on mine yet (bad Witchey!) but I plan to have them all in the mail by mid-November, hoping that the postal strike will be over by then but we'll still be early enough to miss the Christmas jam!

RebeccaFlower

ssautter said:

RebeccaFlower said:

I'm seriously snaking another May 3rd wedding. Check cashed, so I know they got it.

Sometimes I wonder if people really believe that absurd 1 year rule? Like if they really weren't taught better. 

FTR, my shower notes were out on Wednesday for a Sunday shower and wedding notes were done the week after and mailed in waves. 

My understanding is that the 1 year rule applies to when you can GIVE a wedding gift, not when you should send your thank you... Right?  It doesn't apply at all to thank you card timelines

I have also read/head people say that they also have 1 year to write thank you cards. 

southernbelle0915

I just got one yesterday for a wedding we attended in July. I still haven't received one for a wedding we attended August 2nd. Also not for a wedding shower I attended in August or the bachelorette where I gifted the bride Vera Bradley suitcase.....

All of @ClimbingBrideNY's gifs apply to my feelings.

martha1818

I feel like I'm quite snarky when it comes to receiving thank-yous on time! I think a month, maaaybe two if they've been travelling or something, is the limit before I side-eye.

I went to a baby shower of a relative back in May, which required me to drive 5 hours one way. No thank-you at all. I'm super close with some relatives who live with her so it would have been super easy to just ask them for my address (which they have)! I ended up getting a text from her (I guess she asked them for my number) last week asking for my address and I thought "oh how sweet she remembered after all!" but nope...it was to send an invite to the baby's christening.

Guess who's not going to bother making the trip this time?

mschristie123

This thread reminded me that we still haven't received a TY note from a wedding DH was in back in August. We gave them a grace period because they took a pretty long HM (2-3 weeks).... but it is November now. Not that I expected much from them. This is the couple with the Honeyfund insert front and center in their wedding invitation.

theartistformerlyknownas

ssautter said:

RebeccaFlower said:

I'm seriously snaking another May 3rd wedding. Check cashed, so I know they got it.

Sometimes I wonder if people really believe that absurd 1 year rule? Like if they really weren't taught better. 

FTR, my shower notes were out on Wednesday for a Sunday shower and wedding notes were done the week after and mailed in waves. 

My understanding is that the 1 year rule applies to when you can GIVE a wedding gift, not when you should send your thank you... Right?  It doesn't apply at all to thank you card timelines

That is the actual rule, but it's not how many people interpret it.

JennyColada

Someone I know married March 2 and this week has been posting incessantly about "guests, please send me your wedding photos! We want to use them for our thank you cards!". I'm really happy that were weren't close enough to be invited to her wedding.

climbingsingle

JennyColada said:

Someone I know married March 2 and this week has been posting incessantly about "guests, please send me your wedding photos! We want to use them for our thank you cards!". I'm really happy that were weren't close enough to be invited to her wedding.

Oh my god. 

thisismynickname2

I'm waiting on one for an August wedding. What bothers me is that we sent a gift from the registry, but I know the couple moved. We have the delivery confirmation. I know things were crazy for them so 2.5 months isn't toooo awful, but what most concerns me is that maybe they didn't get it, it got lost, and they think we didn't send a gift at all!   Really, that's what I'm more concerned about--- our gift getting lost and them thinking we're the assholes. 

JennyColada

ClimbingBrideNY said:

JennyColada said:

Someone I know married March 2 and this week has been posting incessantly about "guests, please send me your wedding photos! We want to use them for our thank you cards!". I'm really happy that were weren't close enough to be invited to her wedding.

Oh my god. 

I'm really trying to give her the benefit of the doubt and think "well maybe she sent out cards quickly, and she needs to buy more because they are still receiving gifts?"

It's a real stretch though.