How long until you can snark on not receiving a TY?

wandajune6

Ugh. I've been feeling guilty about this. I wrote all of the thank you's for my side with the idea that DH would write them for his. Between school and work, they weren't touched.

Last night, I had a "come to Jesus" with DH about his notes. He wrote 3 (the cards that needed to be written in Spanish). I wrote all of the remainder except 2 (1 for a friend of his I can't stand, the other for a gift that I don't understand). He's promised to write the remainder tonight.

I know that it's been less than a month but they have been weighing on me!

One of my friends/BMs writes thank you notes ridiculously fast. I brought gifts when visiting her newborn twins in the hospital and still had a card within a week. On the other hand, I still haven't heard anything about the baby gift I sent to another friend in July.

princessleia22

sarahufl said:

I went to an absolute MESS of a wedding in early August. I sent them a shower gift in June or so and haven't heard ANYTHING. I don't even know if they got it.

Last I heard (from the MOG) is that they hadn't done their thank you's yet because they took photos at the wedding holding "thank you" signs and they hadn't come in yet. 

Um, ok- so just use another type of card?

That's the problem with people trying to do these cutesy photo thank you cards these days.  It can take several weeks or longer to get final photos back from the photographer.  Then you need the time to order and receive the custom TY cards.  Then you need to find time to write them all and send them.  That creates a potentially long time before guests receive them. 

For those of you that upcoming brides that really want to do the photo TY cards, remember this!  It's best to either make arrangement with photographer to ensure you get the TY card photos quickly or have a friend take the TY card photo, so you have it to use immediately.  Or even if you make arrangement with photographer, it's probably still a good idea to get a backup on your own camera in case photographer doesn't come through in time (which can happen).  For TY cards, they won't be printed large and people probably won't look too closely, so you don't really need to worry as much about high resolution or major photoshopping, so just go with a photo you can use quickly.  It's more important to send TY cards out in a timely manner than it is to send one with a cutesy wedding photo.

redwoodoriginal

I'm waiting on a June wedding gift thank you card. Sent the gift first week of june. they got married the 3rd week of june. I finally asked her if they had received the shipped gift via text a week after their wedding, a few days before they were going on a 2 week honeymoon. Her response? "Yes we did, we just haven't done thank yous for the wedding yet". Not even a "Hey, yes, thank you so much, we just haven't done thank you notes yet..." 

Never even a thank you for flying OOS and dropping $$ on a hotel room and having a five hour gap and then hearing about how "they finished pictures so quickly they just drove around on the party bus getting drunk for over an hour" ps. don't tell your guests that, it's really fucking obnoxious. and this is slightly more of a personal insult, but I was also the only one in our group of BFFs that wasn't involved in any aspect of the wedding- happy not to be a BM but when you pick 2/4 to be BM, and 1/4 to be a reader, and i'm traveling and staying with the reader, and am the only one not included in the rehearsal dinner or brunch plans the morning, it's a little rude to me.

and, she never rsvp'd to my wedding until the week before saying, "sorry we cant go because we're going on second honeymoon that week".

and and and her and her husband are both teachers who had the entire summer off from work.

and still no thank you cards. 

Sugargirl1019

You're wedding gift to her should be a manners etiquette book on thank yours, or you should write her a thank you card for thanking her publicly on fb.

I am STILL waiting on a TY from a wedding in May. They couple even attended our wedding in July. I wrote them a thank you note super fast, and hoped it would remind her to get hers out
Nope. I should have written in mine, thanks for never sending me a thank you card for that generous check you cashed!

Cookie Pusher

I had been waiting on a thank you card from a wedding I attended 4 years and 2 children (the couple's, not ours) ago. The wife finally admitted that she just never got around to writing thank you cards. Good thing I had given up waiting by then!

drptobe14

I don't understand the difficulty of the TY card. When we received a gift, I texted the person "Thank you for the *insert product name*." so they knew we got it. I then sat down and wrote a TY card. Our wedding TY cards were done 2-3 weeks after the wedding.

We had a rule in my house growing up that you can't play with your new toy(s) until you write your TY cards. I wanted to play with my new pots and pans lol.

hikebikebemerry

For a wedding I was in in early May, I got a thank you text- it was from one of my BFFs- so I'm fine with it.

For a wedding in early July, I don't expect to get any acknowledgement of gift-giving.

Interestingly enough, what sticks with me more is the couple who had an immediate family only civil ceremony, and we sent them an amazon gift card.  They were close with FI when he was growing up, and it made me so happy to know that they got their kiddo a xylophone! (Kid #2 is on the way.)

JeeGooDowster

I'm lenient....4 months MAX.  After that, I just assume they're not sending them out and would make judgements about the person they are.

theartistformerlyknownas

princessleia22 said:

sarahufl said:

I went to an absolute MESS of a wedding in early August. I sent them a shower gift in June or so and haven't heard ANYTHING. I don't even know if they got it.

Last I heard (from the MOG) is that they hadn't done their thank you's yet because they took photos at the wedding holding "thank you" signs and they hadn't come in yet. 

Um, ok- so just use another type of card?

That's the problem with people trying to do these cutesy photo thank you cards these days.  It can take several weeks or longer to get final photos back from the photographer.  Then you need the time to order and receive the custom TY cards.  Then you need to find time to write them all and send them.  That creates a potentially long time before guests receive them. 

For those of you that upcoming brides that really want to do the photo TY cards, remember this!  It's best to either make arrangement with photographer to ensure you get the TY card photos quickly or have a friend take the TY card photo, so you have it to use immediately.  Or even if you make arrangement with photographer, it's probably still a good idea to get a backup on your own camera in case photographer doesn't come through in time (which can happen).  For TY cards, they won't be printed large and people probably won't look too closely, so you don't really need to worry as much about high resolution or major photoshopping, so just go with a photo you can use quickly.  It's more important to send TY cards out in a timely manner than it is to send one with a cutesy wedding photo.

Or take the staged Thank You picture at your engagement session. You can have the cards printed and ready to go before the wedding even happens. 

hellohkb

I went to a wedding in July and I'm assuming we will never get a thank you from them. They also didn't have seating for everyone and had other etiquette issues, so I'm not surprised.

morewineplease

My BF and I went to a wedding that was OOT for us. We arrived a little early, and ended up helping to set-up a lot of things with the family cause we were there and I was not going to just sit around watching. 

Well over a year later (maybe a year and half) we received a thank you when visiting them.

levioosa

I'm still waiting on a thank you for a June wedding.  I'm annoyed.  

erinlin25

I have not received thank you's for the last three weddings I have been to (one over a year ago, one 6 months ago and the last was 4 months ago). What is wrong with people!?  I have seen the wedding pics on facebook for awhile now too, so the "I am waiting for wedding pictures" in bull shit.  I was lucky enough to have an awesome photographer who sent me some pics the week after so I was able to use a pro wedding picture for my thank you, but it does not always happen and that is quite alright.  Send a regular thank you!  Its not the end of the world to not have a picture thank you.  Or if it is that important to you, arrange to have a pic taken on a regular camera you have right away to make those thank you's. 

I really look at the relationships differently not getting a simple thank you.  

bethsmiles

The last wedding I went to it took the couple about 3 months to send TY notes and they were typed and not just oh I was to lazy to write it out typed, they clearly sent the same TY note to everyone.

princessofgenovia

My friends keep reciting this one year "rule". Apparently you now have one year to get out thank you notes. For real? My grandma would have my hide if I waited a year to send out thank you notes. Look, we aren't fancy in my family, we couldn't tell you what the hell fork to eat with (I follow the advice on Pretty Woman...I'm hoping it's right), but you sure as shit better write a thank you note. My great-aunt was writing thank you notes to people who sent flowers to her husband's funeral the day after the funeral. Because it's what you do.

My best friend is getting married and keeps going "Well I have a year..." and I keep going "No, you do not, that's bullshit, start writing them as soon as you can", everyone else is like "Yeah, a year because you'll be so busy as a new wife" no she will not be. Her day to day life will not change at all once she gets married...except they'll start having sex. Sex should not take up that much of your free time. At some point you need to rest and re-hydrate, write the thank you notes then.

climbingsingle

I have more free time now than I did before the wedding. No dress fittings, no centerpieces to make, no place cards, no seating chart, no last minute errands. I've never heard of this year thing for TY notes either. 

princessofgenovia

ClimbingBrideNY said:

I have more free time now than I did before the wedding. No dress fittings, no centerpieces to make, no place cards, no seating chart, no last minute errands. I've never heard of this year thing for TY notes either. 

Apparently they all read it in a bridal magazine.

My TY notes will be written out promptly following the wedding. My parents drilled thank you notes into my head, I send them out for everything. I might send them out too much. I sent one to my FMILs the first time they had me over for dinner. They told FI I was the nicest girl and if he didn't at least try to marry me he was an idiot. So...thank you notes for the win.

dcbride86

princessofgenovia said:

My friends keep reciting this one year "rule". Apparently you now have one year to get out thank you notes. For real? My grandma would have my hide if I waited a year to send out thank you notes. Look, we aren't fancy in my family, we couldn't tell you what the hell fork to eat with (I follow the advice on Pretty Woman...I'm hoping it's right), but you sure as shit better write a thank you note. My great-aunt was writing thank you notes to people who sent flowers to her husband's funeral the day after the funeral. Because it's what you do.

My best friend is getting married and keeps going "Well I have a year..." and I keep going "No, you do not, that's bullshit, start writing them as soon as you can", everyone else is like "Yeah, a year because you'll be so busy as a new wife" no she will not be. Her day to day life will not change at all once she gets married...except they'll start having sex. Sex should not take up that much of your free time. At some point you need to rest and re-hydrate, write the thank you notes then.

I can't quite remember what it was in Pretty Woman, but I'm almost positive Kathy Bates in Titanic had it right: you start from the outside and work your way in

princessofgenovia

ssautter said:

princessofgenovia said:

My friends keep reciting this one year "rule". Apparently you now have one year to get out thank you notes. For real? My grandma would have my hide if I waited a year to send out thank you notes. Look, we aren't fancy in my family, we couldn't tell you what the hell fork to eat with (I follow the advice on Pretty Woman...I'm hoping it's right), but you sure as shit better write a thank you note. My great-aunt was writing thank you notes to people who sent flowers to her husband's funeral the day after the funeral. Because it's what you do.

My best friend is getting married and keeps going "Well I have a year..." and I keep going "No, you do not, that's bullshit, start writing them as soon as you can", everyone else is like "Yeah, a year because you'll be so busy as a new wife" no she will not be. Her day to day life will not change at all once she gets married...except they'll start having sex. Sex should not take up that much of your free time. At some point you need to rest and re-hydrate, write the thank you notes then.

I can't quite remember what it was in Pretty Woman, but I'm almost positive Kathy Bates in Titanic had it right: you start from the outside and work your way in

I think Pretty Woman was to count the tines...but it also might have been outside in. Or maybe both. But she asked for ketchup...I totally would do that. I didn't get the big deal at all. Ketchup is good.

alpacalunch

Truly, I've received one TYN in the last five years. I've SENT more of them, and I haven't had any sort of function where one is necessary! 

I'm starting to give up. People can be so rude.

climbingsingle

I just watched Pretty Woman this weekend. He said to count the tines. Two for shrimp, three for salad.