So I get this invitation in the mail the other day...

Jessie42613

...inviting H and I to the "wedding" of two friends.

Two friends who we know, FOR A FACT, are having a secret destination elopement very soon, but not telling anyone.

And the "wedding" is on NYE.

With a "cocktail reception beginning at 7pm."  Of course, the whole event goes until midnight.  No actual food for 5 hours.  Awesome.

We've been instructed to "dress to impress."

Aaand they were kind enough to include their registry information.

I can't make this crap up.  I seriously wish a good long stint on the E board was mandatory to apply for a marriage license.

southernbelle0915

___ accepts

_X_ declines with pleasure

novella1186

So much ew. 

martha1818

Can you go, get tipsy, and maybe let some secrets slip?

Just kidding, I'd go with @southernbelle0915's response, haha!

southernbelle0915

martha1818 said:

Can you go, get tipsy, and maybe let some secrets slip?

Just kidding, I'd go with @southernbelle0915's response, haha!

Ahhh!! lol! Forget I said anything and do the bolded. 

If/When they confront you: "I thought everyone knew!"

Jen4948

We need a good trainwreck story.  'Fraid that obligates you to go and report back to us all the gruesome details.  :-P

;-)

Jessie42613

martha1818 said:

Can you go, get tipsy, and maybe let some secrets slip?

Just kidding, I'd go with @southernbelle0915's response, haha!

Not a terrible idea, except I'm pretty confident it'll be cash bar.

So after I've shelled out for an impressive outfit, a gift from their Williams Sonoma registry, and my own dinner, there's nothing left for booze!

(Sarcasm.  There's always money for booze.  Money for the other crap is questionable.)

southernbelle0915

Jessie42613 said:

martha1818 said:

Can you go, get tipsy, and maybe let some secrets slip?

Just kidding, I'd go with @southernbelle0915's response, haha!

Not a terrible idea, except I'm pretty confident it'll be cash bar.

So after I've shelled out for an impressive outfit, a gift from their Williams Sonoma registry, and my own dinner, there's nothing left for booze!

(Sarcasm.  There's always money for booze.  Money for the other crap is questionable.)

Buy them a spatula and hog the appetizers so that you can buy lots of drinks.

Or bring a flask. Klassy PPD - meet Klassy BYOB. Now that the two of you are acquainted, attend this "wedding" and spill the juice.

slothiegal

Jessie42613 said:

...inviting H and I to the "wedding" of two friends.

Two friends who we know, FOR A FACT, are having a secret destination elopement very soon, but not telling anyone.

And the "wedding" is on NYE.

With a "cocktail reception beginning at 7pm."  Of course, the whole event goes until midnight.  No actual food for 5 hours.  Awesome.

We've been instructed to "dress to impress."

Aaand they were kind enough to include their registry information.

I can't make this crap up.  I seriously wish a good long stint on the E board was mandatory to apply for a marriage license.

As co-mod of the E board.....

Please no    I can only take so many SS before I get myself banned....

Kauris

Jessie42613 said:

...inviting H and I to the "wedding" of two friends.

Two friends who we know, FOR A FACT, are having a secret destination elopement very soon, but not telling anyone.

And the "wedding" is on NYE.

With a "cocktail reception beginning at 7pm."  Of course, the whole event goes until midnight.  No actual food for 5 hours.  Awesome.

We've been instructed to "dress to impress."

Aaand they were kind enough to include their registry information.

I can't make this crap up.  I seriously wish a good long stint on the E board was mandatory to apply for a marriage license.

How much of a secret is it if you guys know? How many people potentially, actually know? 

I don't understand people. At all.

sarawifenow

People like this are the reason that I drink...

RebeccaB88

Can you go and take up a collection for pizza delivery at around 9pm?

AddieCake

Someone on TK got a wedding invitation full of faux pas? Color me shocked.

sophhabobopha

Egads! Could you not with all that ew, I'm eating.

huskypuppy14

Are you sure that cocktail reception does not mean heavy apps?  Just trying to be optimistic.

Cash bar in general is bad, but even people who would have a cash bar at an everyday wedding should know you never have a cash bar on NYE.

Jessie42613

@kasmith1‌ - The groom used to work with my H, and he let slip the plans. Then was all "uhh but listen that's sort of a secret so don't tell anyone, k?" Mhmm.

novella1186

southernbelle0915 said:

Jessie42613 said:

martha1818 said:

Can you go, get tipsy, and maybe let some secrets slip?

Just kidding, I'd go with @southernbelle0915's response, haha!

Not a terrible idea, except I'm pretty confident it'll be cash bar.

So after I've shelled out for an impressive outfit, a gift from their Williams Sonoma registry, and my own dinner, there's nothing left for booze!

(Sarcasm.  There's always money for booze.  Money for the other crap is questionable.)

Buy them a spatula and hog the appetizers so that you can buy lots of drinks.

Or bring a flask. Klassy PPD - meet Klassy BYOB. Now that the two of you are acquainted, attend this "wedding" and spill the juice.

We went to a really tacky wedding (gap, rude hosting, etc) with a cash bar last fall. FI's best friends crazypants girlfriend brought a flask in her purse, as well as a bunch of mini bottles of liquor. Even those she's crazypants, she and I bonded that night :P 

Maggie0829

I will never understand doing the elopement thing when you obviously want the big wedding production.  What is the point?  Why elope at all?  My brain just can't.

martha1818

Maggie0829 said:

I will never understand doing the elopement thing when you obviously want the big wedding production.  What is the point?  Why elope at all?  My brain just can't.

Because they're super special and deserve to have both! It's in their vision! If you don't understand then you obviously don't really care about them.

photokitty

As long as is was open bar I'd just chalk it up to a low cost NYE ticket with all you can drink and a reason to get dressed up - while I snarked and side eyed them behind their backs. So much ewwwww.

I always ask, among a host of other exciting wedding related questions, about alcohol. True story.

If you want to have a dry wedding that's cool. BUT If you want to have a DJ and dancing til midnight don't expect me to do it sober or pay for it myself. 

I'll own that I'm a snarky bitch about it if they can own their own flaws as well :-p

raissyrais

Sorry OP but you gotta go and report back!!! Is it an open bar? You might be just about saved if it is...

novella1186

I would take a big purse and pack it full of cheeseburgers and vodka. 

Shit... I might even sell those cheeseburgers at the reception and recoup my losses. 

jennyleigh16

I'm having a "cocktail reception" and its heavy apps and food stations. It's listed as a meal replacement because there is enough food, just in a less formal format. Fingers crossed they'll do the same thing. 

short+sassy

Wait...I'm confused.  If they aren't having food and you suspect it will be a cash bar, then WHAT are they providing to their guests for attending their "faux" ceremony?

holyguacamole79

short+sassy said:

Wait...I'm confused.  If they aren't having food and you suspect it will be a cash bar, then WHAT are they providing to their guests for attending their "faux" ceremony?

The honor of witnessing them renew their vows.  Duh.

Jessie42613

novella1186 said:

I would take a big purse and pack it full of cheeseburgers and vodka. 

Shit... I might even sell those cheeseburgers at the reception and recoup my losses. 

This is the greatest idea ever. there's a McDonald's 5 minutes down the road, and it's right on the way.  I have visions of getting wasted and making it rain McDoubles...