Really Frustrated

arc9940

I picked out a beautiful wedding dress thats relatively plain but I feel beautiful and very serene in it.  However, my mother absolutely hates it.  She says it looks unfinished (which is really her way of saying it's not covered in sparkles) and boring. I feel bad that she doesn't like it but it is my wedding dress and I am paying for it myself.  Her hostility is making it very hard to enjoy this whole process of planning my wedding.  Does anyone else know of a way to handle this or make me feel less awful?

aggiespartan

Stop talking to her about it?  I'm not sure why you feel awful.  You said it - you paid for it and it's you're wedding.  

This is partly why I went dress shopping by myself and no one who is going to be at the wedding has seen it yet.  Who cares what anybody else thinks.

kvruns

I'd just try not to bring up the dress subject. If she does then say you found the dress that is great for you and ask her to respect it

pearlluo

What you mother said is really annoying,however,she just want you to be more shiny on your big day.So she said it is not coverd with sparkles.As we all know,everyone has her eye for beauty and it has no right or wrong.You can just tell her,the dress is what you really love and it is beautiful in your eyes.It is designed just for the taste for people like you.I think she will understand you.

doeydo

If she keeps bringing it up, maybe you can have a heart to heart with her about how much you love your dress and that you feel gorgeous in it and don't want any other dress.  Try to explain how it makes you feel when she says things are "wrong" with your dress or that you should keep shopping.

MobKaz

arc9940 said:

I picked out a beautiful wedding dress thats relatively plain but I feel beautiful and very serene in it.  However, my mother absolutely hates it.  She says it looks unfinished (which is really her way of saying it's not covered in sparkles) and boring. I feel bad that she doesn't like it but it is my wedding dress and I am paying for it myself.  Her hostility is making it very hard to enjoy this whole process of planning my wedding.  Does anyone else know of a way to handle this or make me feel less awful?

Did she go shopping with you?  If she did not, perhaps it is her way of expressing disappointment/frustration/anger at not being involved in the shopping experience.  Did she make her comment seeing the dress on you, or from a photograph?  Photos of dresses never compare to seeing it on a bride, especially all "jacked up" as they say on SYTTD. 

I am sorry your mom said those comments to you.  She needs to be reminded that the dress is NOT about her, or her tastes. 

I would keep details about your planning to a minimum with her.  If she asks why she isn't hearing much about your planning, be honest with her.  Tell her it is hard to share exciting and fun information with her when her typical response is to be negative.