H and I are trying

themuffinman16

wandajune6 said:

Are you my triplet?

I feel the same way. We're trying right now too, sort of.

Now for TMI on my life:

My twin has a toddler and has always known her goal in life was to get married and have babies. I figured out that I wanted kids a few years ago. I find it much scarier than she does. I adore my niece and seeing her reminds me of exactly how much I want a baby. I have a 15 year old stepson now who is going through a massive asshole phase but- despite DH's jokes - even he can't change my mind.

I'm old. DH is old. I went off of BC about 7 months ago for a variety of reasons. Due to some side effects of a medical condition, DH needs a procedure done before we're "officially" trying. Currently, we're going through the process of him having lots of tests confirming the need for the procedure. It's frustrating because I desperately want to start trying but the medical stuff keeps taking longer and longer.

DH and his ex made a lot of mistakes raising their kid. They had him when they were in their early 20's and weren't mindful of the decisions they made, then made everything worse in their vicious divorce and custody battle. Plus, his ex was a train wreck who caused a lot of harm to the kid.
I mention this because I spend my life with a kid who dealt with some crappy parenting. I've also seen how you can still raise a good kid while making mistakes. Despite the previously-mentioned asshole phase, SS is a pretty normal 15 year old kid thanks to DH's realization that he couldn't do everything alone and needed professional help. Though I will say that I'm thrilled his ex has mostly dropped out of SS's life. It's better for everyone, even our potential future offspring.

My parents have told my sister about some of the mistakes they made. They talked and read endlessly on certain parenting topics but still screwed up pretty badly on a few things. They thought they were making the right decisions but got it wrong. However, they love us to pieces and are invested in our happiness and success so they still raised pretty awesome kids, if I say so myself! (Though I have some pretty messed up views about things like sports, competition and religion.)

I guess what I'm saying is that every parent makes mistakes but if you're truly invested in your child and love her to pieces, you'll still be a good parent and raise an amazing kid. Worrying that you'll make mistakes means that you understand the enormity of what you're getting yourself into. That's a good thing.

Okay, I firmly believe you are my honorary triplet after reading this.  Lol

AprilH81

We are trying to!

This is our first month off of birth control and while I'm 95% sure I'm not pregnant, I'm 95% sure I *DID* ovulate this month.

I'm not sure why your doctor would tell you to wait a month, the hormones leave your system in a day or two....  I'm not sure what the harm would be.

theartistformerlyknownas

AprilH81 said:

We are trying to!

This is our first month off of birth control and while I'm 95% sure I'm not pregnant, I'm 95% sure I *DID* ovulate this month.

I'm not sure why your doctor would tell you to wait a month, the hormones leave your system in a day or two....  I'm not sure what the harm would be.

Right? I mean, either way, we might as well "practice."

themuffinman16

It's not that I should wait, we will try, but he told me not to anticipate to ovulate.

theartistformerlyknownas

themuffinman16 said:

It's not that I should wait, we will try, but he told me not to anticipate to ovulate.

And that makes sense, but Sugargirl's doctor saying they should use condoms was weird.

AprilH81

themuffinman16 said:

It's not that I should wait, we will try, but he told me not to anticipate to ovulate.

Are you planning on temping and charting?  That will help take away the "did I or didn't I" question.

Because of my medical history I decided to temp from the beginning.  I wanted to be able to provide information to my doctor if my body wasn't regulating after coming off the pill so she could better diagnose any issues I was having.

ElcaB

I'm not TTC yet, but I have a feeling I'll have the same nervous-excitement you do when I get there. 

Making humans is a pretty big deal. I think your nervousness stems from knowing what a huge responsibility it is. 

Sending good vibes your way

LadyMillil

lolo883 said:

AprilH81 said:

We are trying to!

This is our first month off of birth control and while I'm 95% sure I'm not pregnant, I'm 95% sure I *DID* ovulate this month.

I'm not sure why your doctor would tell you to wait a month, the hormones leave your system in a day or two....  I'm not sure what the harm would be.

Right? I mean, either way, we might as well "practice."

I should be done all the dangerous to fetus lab work for good in March so I'm going off the pill then. My doctor told me to start taking folic acid now and that we could start TTC right away. Same info as you guys, that I might not ovulate the first month off the pill but there is no need to try to prevent for a month. Some of my friends overshared birth stories and I'm terrified of giving birth now and just generally freaked out about the responsibility of raising a good human.

AprilH81

LadyMillil said:

lolo883 said:

AprilH81 said:

We are trying to!

This is our first month off of birth control and while I'm 95% sure I'm not pregnant, I'm 95% sure I *DID* ovulate this month.

I'm not sure why your doctor would tell you to wait a month, the hormones leave your system in a day or two....  I'm not sure what the harm would be.

Right? I mean, either way, we might as well "practice."

I should be done all the dangerous to fetus lab work for good in March so I'm going off the pill then. My doctor told me to start taking folic acid now and that we could start TTC right away. Same info as you guys, that I might not ovulate the first month off the pill but there is no need to try to prevent for a month. Some of my friends overshared birth stories and I'm terrified of giving birth now and just generally freaked out about the responsibility of raising a good human.

I started taking a pre-natal vitamin (with DHA and folic acid) after my last GYN appointment about 6 weeks ago.  My doctor said it wouldn't hurt anything and could be very beneficial if I did get pregnant quickly.  The folic acid and DHA are most important in the early days when a lot of women don't even know they are pregnant.

VulgarGirl

I asked my mom when you stop being scared of the whole raising a small human thing. She assures me as soon as it happens for her she'll let me know.

flyingfoxes

themuffinman16 said:

   H and I are trying to conceive.  It is exciting terrifying.  I really want kids, now, and I realized I didn't want to wait any longer to start our family. H and I discussed it and realized we should start trying now if we want to kids before my junk dries up.  I am hoping it all works out.  It is funny that you can plan for something, but, at the same time,  be really nervous about it.

   I am waiting for my next cycle, which is next week, and then I will be off of hormones for the first time in 18 years. Children used to terrify me.  I was never around them, but since my twin sister had children, I am around kids a lot more.  I was more afraid of not being able to get a child to stop crying, or dropping a tiny baby, not wake up when they cry. (see episode of Friends where Rachel is holding a baby how she would hold a football (1 foot from her body.)

   I don't really understand this small part of my twin sister.  We grew up in the same environment, she KNEW she wanted to have kids, and knew she had what it takes.  I was always the one who was terrified of my past, and afraid I would be the same parent mine were to me. Has anyone else wanted children, but was still worried about what kind of parent they will be?  I am afraid to talk to people about this IRL because I am afraid they think I don't want to have children and will judge me. So I guess I feel safer sharing this here with a multitude of women who will be completely honest. Is it normal to have this much fear but want something at the same time? 

Whoa - you could be me talking.  I'm 38 years old, and for the first time in my life I'm confident that I want a child with FI (well, when he's my H).  I just went off the Pill last weekend, first time since I was 17 that I haven't been on anything.  We have to make sure I'm ovulating before we go through the added hurdle of him getting his vasectomy reversed.  

I never wanted kids, for the longest time.  I'd be thrilled with just 1 (FI has 2 already, 14 & 18).  I'm hoping we can make a honeymoon baby because time ain't on our side.  

Good luck to you!

Bubblegum5586

How exciting for you!

We are not TTC yet, but I am already terrified. Of all of it - money, time, the actual pregnancy (I am generally sensitive to change), the LABOR!, then of course raising that child to be a functioning part of society!

We just celebrated our 1 year and it looks like maybe another year before we start trying. We just got a house and H got a new job and just settling into new expenses and changes. But as someone above said and my mother says; if you wait for the perfect time to start a family it will never happen. I am so afraid I will keep saying "1 more year".

Good luck OP!

sophhabobopha

WOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Sending good vibes for babymakin!

I have three more years on the IUD and if all goes as planned I'll be off the BC until we get a babies. I'll be a year and a half post college and hopefully settled into a job! 

sophhabobopha

MagicInk said:

Sugargirl1019 said:

themuffinman16 said:

I have visited all of my doctors and we were going to wait six months, but, I realized with my endometriosis, I should be trying to conceive sooner and not later. It was keeping me up nights, worrying about if I would be able to get pregnant. And to be able to get pregnant twice before I turn 40. 

 

My H knows that I am not a natural with children and he says everyone has doubts. But I just wanted to know from people who wouldn't spare my feelings, and tell me if it actually was normal.

This is a link to a long and rambly post about me freaking out at the idea that once we got married we were going to start trying.

http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/1020456/nwr-not-sure-how-i-feel#latest

We're going to start TTCing in December. I think...Wifey says she might want to wait until after the holidays. I still freak out.

So.. Not to be inappropriate, but, how will your WiFE! go about the process? Both she and him need to be in the doctors office for him to do his "thing" and then the doctor takes it to transplant? I am not familiar with this kind of thing.

Actually we'll be doing it at home (to start with, wifey wants to try it at home for 6 months and then we'll move to doctors if it doesn't take).

So he'll ejaculate into a cup, and then I'll use a needless syringe (like what you'd use to give a kid medicine) to insert the sperm into her. If we need him to, he'll put some on ice at a sperm bank type place for us to check out when we need it. Otherwise when she ovulates we'll call him up and he'll do his thing. We're going to give him a calender with her possible ovulation dates circled and that way he can be prepared to get the text from us. 

So interesting, thanks for sharing!

sarahufl

AprilH81 said:

LadyMillil said:

lolo883 said:

AprilH81 said:

We are trying to!

This is our first month off of birth control and while I'm 95% sure I'm not pregnant, I'm 95% sure I *DID* ovulate this month.

I'm not sure why your doctor would tell you to wait a month, the hormones leave your system in a day or two....  I'm not sure what the harm would be.

Right? I mean, either way, we might as well "practice."

I should be done all the dangerous to fetus lab work for good in March so I'm going off the pill then. My doctor told me to start taking folic acid now and that we could start TTC right away. Same info as you guys, that I might not ovulate the first month off the pill but there is no need to try to prevent for a month. Some of my friends overshared birth stories and I'm terrified of giving birth now and just generally freaked out about the responsibility of raising a good human.

I started taking a pre-natal vitamin (with DHA and folic acid) after my last GYN appointment about 6 weeks ago.  My doctor said it wouldn't hurt anything and could be very beneficial if I did get pregnant quickly.  The folic acid and DHA are most important in the early days when a lot of women don't even know they are pregnant.

I started taking pre-natals as well. We plan to start TTC in a month or so. 

PS- I know at least 4 women who went off BC because their doctors said it would take a few months. They all got pregnant right away, so don't discount that!

And OP, I feel like you SHOULD be scared. I love kids and I can' t wait to have one, but they are scary

FutureMrsN3312

sarahufl said:

AprilH81 said:

LadyMillil said:

lolo883 said:

AprilH81 said:

We are trying to!

This is our first month off of birth control and while I'm 95% sure I'm not pregnant, I'm 95% sure I *DID* ovulate this month.

I'm not sure why your doctor would tell you to wait a month, the hormones leave your system in a day or two....  I'm not sure what the harm would be.

Right? I mean, either way, we might as well "practice."

I should be done all the dangerous to fetus lab work for good in March so I'm going off the pill then. My doctor told me to start taking folic acid now and that we could start TTC right away. Same info as you guys, that I might not ovulate the first month off the pill but there is no need to try to prevent for a month. Some of my friends overshared birth stories and I'm terrified of giving birth now and just generally freaked out about the responsibility of raising a good human.

I started taking a pre-natal vitamin (with DHA and folic acid) after my last GYN appointment about 6 weeks ago.  My doctor said it wouldn't hurt anything and could be very beneficial if I did get pregnant quickly.  The folic acid and DHA are most important in the early days when a lot of women don't even know they are pregnant.

I started taking pre-natals as well. We plan to start TTC in a month or so. 

PS- I know at least 4 women who went off BC because their doctors said it would take a few months. They all got pregnant right away, so don't discount that!

And OP, I feel like you SHOULD be scared. I love kids and I can' t wait to have one, but they are scary

I went for my yearly at the end of September.  Dr gave me the all clear to start trying whenever we were ready but recommended I start prenatal vitamins.  No big deal.  The following week was leak week and H and I discussed that we would probably never be really ready for kids.  So we stopped using condoms and figured whatever happens happens.

Well 3 weeks later I got a positive pregnancy test.  A few days before testing I had some cramps and was automatically scared and disappointed.  After taking the test and getting a positive I was scared, excited, nervous, etc.  It's all normal.

I never thought that we would be blessed enough to conceive on the first shot.  I had been on BC for 15+ years.  I have ovarian cysts and it took my parents 6 years to have me.

Anyway point is, don't stress.  Whatever is meant to be will be.  I'm a firm believer in that.

And practice..practice makes perfect

ETA: I would also look into downloading one of those tracking apps.  That should help tell exactly when you're ovulating.  

themuffinman16

Thank you so much ladies for all of your well wishes and helpful advice. I know the time of the month cometh, because I have been hormonal and in tears. It will only get worse when I'm pregnant.  I never used to get so hormonal.  You ladies have really helped me through my hard questions.  I am so lucky to have this site.  I always get sound answers, and people are more likely to tell the truth.  I am so relieved to know I am not the only one who feels this way, and it doesn't make me a bad person.

sarahufl

FutureMrsN3312 said:

sarahufl said:

AprilH81 said:

LadyMillil said:

lolo883 said:

AprilH81 said:

We are trying to!

This is our first month off of birth control and while I'm 95% sure I'm not pregnant, I'm 95% sure I *DID* ovulate this month.

I'm not sure why your doctor would tell you to wait a month, the hormones leave your system in a day or two....  I'm not sure what the harm would be.

Right? I mean, either way, we might as well "practice."

I should be done all the dangerous to fetus lab work for good in March so I'm going off the pill then. My doctor told me to start taking folic acid now and that we could start TTC right away. Same info as you guys, that I might not ovulate the first month off the pill but there is no need to try to prevent for a month. Some of my friends overshared birth stories and I'm terrified of giving birth now and just generally freaked out about the responsibility of raising a good human.

I started taking a pre-natal vitamin (with DHA and folic acid) after my last GYN appointment about 6 weeks ago.  My doctor said it wouldn't hurt anything and could be very beneficial if I did get pregnant quickly.  The folic acid and DHA are most important in the early days when a lot of women don't even know they are pregnant.

I started taking pre-natals as well. We plan to start TTC in a month or so. 

PS- I know at least 4 women who went off BC because their doctors said it would take a few months. They all got pregnant right away, so don't discount that!

And OP, I feel like you SHOULD be scared. I love kids and I can' t wait to have one, but they are scary

I went for my yearly at the end of September.  Dr gave me the all clear to start trying whenever we were ready but recommended I start prenatal vitamins.  No big deal.  The following week was leak week and H and I discussed that we would probably never be really ready for kids.  So we stopped using condoms and figured whatever happens happens.

Well 3 weeks later I got a positive pregnancy test.  A few days before testing I had some cramps and was automatically scared and disappointed.  After taking the test and getting a positive I was scared, excited, nervous, etc.  It's all normal.

I never thought that we would be blessed enough to conceive on the first shot.  I had been on BC for 15+ years.  I have ovarian cysts and it took my parents 6 years to have me.

Anyway point is, don't stress.  Whatever is meant to be will be.  I'm a firm believer in that.

And practice..practice makes perfect

ETA: I would also look into downloading one of those tracking apps.  That should help tell exactly when you're ovulating.  

I use Fertility Friend. Currently to avoid pregnancy, but in the next couple months we plan to start TTC.

hellosweetie1015

FI and I had this discussion a long time ago. He started talking about us TTC LONG before we started talking marriage (he's weird) and I told him that quite frankly, I was working two shitty jobs, he was working and in school, and between our financial instability and every little thing I could do wrong, I was too scared for kids and didn't want them.

He told me how scared he is for them, too - but that he's excited at the same time, and being afraid of something doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. 

flutteringinfl

AprilH81 said:

We are trying to!

This is our first month off of birth control and while I'm 95% sure I'm not pregnant, I'm 95% sure I *DID* ovulate this month.

I'm not sure why your doctor would tell you to wait a month, the hormones leave your system in a day or two....  I'm not sure what the harm would be.

My doc talked to be about it and framed it both as a hormone thing and as a "If you get pregnant before your first post-BC cycle it's a lot harder to figure out your due date" thing.