I will never leave you ladies

beethery

ClimbingBrideNY said:

photokitty said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

Sugargirl1019 said:

I'm totally stuck on the idea that you guys had sex so young. Sorry. It frightens me!

Seriously? What's it to you? I lost my virginity when I was 14, with my boyfriend I was with for many years. Why does that frighten you? 

My guess - BC the idea of having a child who has sex at 13, 14, 15, any age before the age where they are mature enough to be a parent is frightening...I know it is to me.

I think we all can admit to doing things we are hoping our own kids don't do, bc they might not be as lucky as we were....babies, STDs, injuries, permanent records and what not...

Well, I'm obviously not having kids. BUT if I were, I can honestly say I wouldn't think it was the end of the world if my child was having sex at 14 or 15 or 16. I would just hope they'd be honest with me, and that they were being safe. And I'd do every in my power to make sure they were informed about the choices they were making. Teenagers are going to mostly do whatever the hell they want. Short of installing a chastity belt on your child, there's not much you can do to stop them from having sex. 

My whole thing is that I hope my hypothetical future children are as responsible about their immature decision making as I was. Teenager's heads can be all over the place. I did what I wanted, I also made sure that things were safe.

My parents probably would've sent me to a convent if they'd figured out anything I did during my teens/early 20's. I knew that there was no trouble to be had if I made sure that I didn't catch a disease or get pregnant, and if I covered my tracks. 

I also formed the opinion VERY early that my body and decisions I make regarding it were not their business, and that if I didn't want their opinions/input, they didn't need to know about it.

lacqueredlover

lolo883 said:

I wouldn't even have a glass of Pepsi without asking my parents' permission first when I was 13. But I'm well aware that I am not most people.

If I was your parents, I would forbid you from drinking Pepsi.  Coke is way superior :-)

princessofgenovia

ClimbingBrideNY said:

photokitty said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

Sugargirl1019 said:

I'm totally stuck on the idea that you guys had sex so young. Sorry. It frightens me!

Seriously? What's it to you? I lost my virginity when I was 14, with my boyfriend I was with for many years. Why does that frighten you? 

My guess - BC the idea of having a child who has sex at 13, 14, 15, any age before the age where they are mature enough to be a parent is frightening...I know it is to me.

I think we all can admit to doing things we are hoping our own kids don't do, bc they might not be as lucky as we were....babies, STDs, injuries, permanent records and what not...

Well, I'm obviously not having kids. BUT if I were, I can honestly say I wouldn't think it was the end of the world if my child was having sex at 14 or 15 or 16. I would just hope they'd be honest with me, and that they were being safe. And I'd do every in my power to make sure they were informed about the choices they were making. Teenagers are going to mostly do whatever the hell they want. Short of installing a chastity belt on your child, there's not much you can do to stop them from having sex. 

What she said. My parents were pretty much the same way because well...they were teenagers when they had me. My mom was 15 when she got pregnant with me. There was no denying that teenagers have sex for them, I was proof teenagers have sex. Instead the instilled the fact that I should be safe, and I should only have sex on my own terms. Not to please someone or because all my friends were. But because I wanted to and I was ready. 

I'd rather accept that any possible future children I may have might be boning in high school and prepare them for that, then stick my fingers in my ears and pretend they'll wait until college. I didn't, my mother didn't, they probably won't either. If they do, good for them. If they don't, good for them.

esstee33

southernbelle0915 said:

photokitty said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

Sugargirl1019 said:

I'm totally stuck on the idea that you guys had sex so young. Sorry. It frightens me!

Seriously? What's it to you? I lost my virginity when I was 14, with my boyfriend I was with for many years. Why does that frighten you? 

My guess - BC the idea of having a child who has sex at 13, 14, 15, any age before the age where they are mature enough to be a parent is frightening...I know it is to me.

I think we all can admit to doing things we are hoping our own kids don't do, bc they might not be as lucky as we were....babies, STDs, injuries, permanent records and what not...

Yea, this is how I took it, too. I was an...early starter as well. It's a miracle I didn't get pregnant. 

My takeaway from it was that if I'm ever a parent, I need to make the kid believe they can tell me if they want birth control and that I won't be mad. And the importance of birth control of course. Also, I will be getting them the HPV vaccine as soon as they're old enough.

This, exactly. I'm not naive enough to believe that my kids won't know about sex by the time they're pre-teens, and I intend to give the sex talk early, and make it very, very clear that safe sex is critically important. Like, I won't be mad if you're having sex, but I want to have an open and honest dialogue about it to make sure you're being safe. This is exactly what my mom did with me, and she was true to her word: I lost my virginity at 14, and her only concern (at least that she voiced to me) was whether or not I was using protection. She took me to get birth control, which was awesome, since I had super awful periods too. 

Sheltering your children isn't going to stop them from learning about what you're hiding, and hiding it from them will ensure that they learn it through whatever maybe unsavory sources they can find. 

cafarrie

photokitty said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

photokitty said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

Sugargirl1019 said:

I'm totally stuck on the idea that you guys had sex so young. Sorry. It frightens me!

Seriously? What's it to you? I lost my virginity when I was 14, with my boyfriend I was with for many years. Why does that frighten you? 

My guess - BC the idea of having a child who has sex at 13, 14, 15, any age before the age where they are mature enough to be a parent is frightening...I know it is to me.

I think we all can admit to doing things we are hoping our own kids don't do, bc they might not be as lucky as we were....babies, STDs, injuries, permanent records and what not...

Well, I'm obviously not having kids. BUT if I were, I can honestly say I wouldn't think it was the end of the world if my child was having sex at 14 or 15 or 16. I would just hope they'd be honest with me, and that they were being safe. And I'd do every in my power to make sure they were informed about the choices they were making. Teenagers are going to mostly do whatever the hell they want. Short of installing a chastity belt on your child, there's not much you can do to stop them from having sex. 

Preface: I live in a bubble - I know.

I keep hoping that's not entirely true bc: 

My parents told me I couldn't date until I was 16, I didn't date despite many offers.

My parents told me not to kiss boys, I asked my mom before I had my first kiss (I'm worse than Lolo and the Pepsi)

My parents told me I couldn't drink until I was 21 bc it was against the law - I didn't.

My parents and the Catholic church told me I couldn't have sex until I was married - I didn't (the first time)

My parents didn't install a chesty belt but they did have a HUGE impact on stopping me from having sex. So I am hoping by some miracle I get  little rule follower like I was. 

If that doesn't happen then yes, I hope they are honest and safe. But I really don't believe 99% of teens are honest about sex with their parents. 

I by no means think this make me or my parents better than anyone else not he planet...but I think sex has the ability to mess up your life and I know some people that are still dealing with choices they wish they could take back (STDs, abortions, being used and discarded).

My parents were like this too and I wish they would have been a little more relaxed about it.  I ended up making some pretty reckless decisions in college, simply because I was on my own to experiment and didn't feel like I could talk to anyone about it because it would have been "wrong". For the most part, I was the perfect little rule follower until then.  

I don't want my future kids terrified that they can't do something they feel is right, or can't talk to me about decisions they feel are right for them at the time.  Everyone is different and like everyone else has already said, as long as their being smart and safe I don't believe there's a problem. 

ETA: yes sex has the ability to "mess up your life" but sex can also make life (and relationships) WAY better, regardless of age as long as it is mutual, responsible, and safe.

beethery

esstee33 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

photokitty said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

Sugargirl1019 said:

I'm totally stuck on the idea that you guys had sex so young. Sorry. It frightens me!

Seriously? What's it to you? I lost my virginity when I was 14, with my boyfriend I was with for many years. Why does that frighten you? 

My guess - BC the idea of having a child who has sex at 13, 14, 15, any age before the age where they are mature enough to be a parent is frightening...I know it is to me.

I think we all can admit to doing things we are hoping our own kids don't do, bc they might not be as lucky as we were....babies, STDs, injuries, permanent records and what not...

Yea, this is how I took it, too. I was an...early starter as well. It's a miracle I didn't get pregnant. 

My takeaway from it was that if I'm ever a parent, I need to make the kid believe they can tell me if they want birth control and that I won't be mad. And the importance of birth control of course. Also, I will be getting them the HPV vaccine as soon as they're old enough.

This, exactly. I'm not naive enough to believe that my kids won't know about sex by the time they're pre-teens, and I intend to give the sex talk early, and make it very, very clear that safe sex is critically important. Like, I won't be mad if you're having sex, but I want to have an open and honest dialogue about it to make sure you're being safe. This is exactly what my mom did with me, and she was true to her word: I lost my virginity at 14, and her only concern (at least that she voiced to me) was whether or not I was using protection. She took me to get birth control, which was awesome, since I had super awful periods too. 

Sheltering your children isn't going to stop them from learning about what you're hiding, and hiding it from them will ensure that they learn it through whatever maybe unsavory sources they can find. 

I wish my mom had been like your mom.

I obsessively tracked my periods because I knew I'd be totally out of commission for two weeks surrounding its arrival. I would throw up and get dizzy spells from the pain. My mom would talk about how birth control would help me once I was older.

Come 18, I visited the dermatologist and was promptly prescribed BC pills. While driving to the pharmacy and relaying how the visit went over, she told me she hoped I didn't think that those pills were her permission to have sex.

I was so far from being a virgin by that point that I couldn't have eyeballed it in the distance with BINOCULARS, and I'd been stripping for a couple of months by that point.

Short version: Don't be like my mom, or you will not know a fucking thing about your kid's life.

photokitty

esstee33 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

photokitty said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

Sugargirl1019 said:

I'm totally stuck on the idea that you guys had sex so young. Sorry. It frightens me!

Seriously? What's it to you? I lost my virginity when I was 14, with my boyfriend I was with for many years. Why does that frighten you? 

My guess - BC the idea of having a child who has sex at 13, 14, 15, any age before the age where they are mature enough to be a parent is frightening...I know it is to me.

I think we all can admit to doing things we are hoping our own kids don't do, bc they might not be as lucky as we were....babies, STDs, injuries, permanent records and what not...

Yea, this is how I took it, too. I was an...early starter as well. It's a miracle I didn't get pregnant. 

My takeaway from it was that if I'm ever a parent, I need to make the kid believe they can tell me if they want birth control and that I won't be mad. And the importance of birth control of course. Also, I will be getting them the HPV vaccine as soon as they're old enough.

This, exactly. I'm not naive enough to believe that my kids won't know about sex by the time they're pre-teens, and I intend to give the sex talk early, and make it very, very clear that safe sex is critically important. Like, I won't be mad if you're having sex, but I want to have an open and honest dialogue about it to make sure you're being safe. This is exactly what my mom did with me, and she was true to her word: I lost my virginity at 14, and her only concern (at least that she voiced to me) was whether or not I was using protection. She took me to get birth control, which was awesome, since I had super awful periods too. 

Sheltering your children isn't going to stop them from learning about what you're hiding, and hiding it from them will ensure that they learn it through whatever maybe unsavory sources they can find. 

I was always very aware and my mom and I had many open conversation about sex and the possible consequences. I also worked at the health dept in high school and college, so I knew all about sex, STDs, pregnancy and other possible outcomes. I had condems on hand for friends at all times.

I wasn't sheltered from any of it, in fact knowing everything was what helped me make the choice to not have sex.

climbingsingle

photokitty said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

photokitty said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

Sugargirl1019 said:

I'm totally stuck on the idea that you guys had sex so young. Sorry. It frightens me!

Seriously? What's it to you? I lost my virginity when I was 14, with my boyfriend I was with for many years. Why does that frighten you? 

My guess - BC the idea of having a child who has sex at 13, 14, 15, any age before the age where they are mature enough to be a parent is frightening...I know it is to me.

I think we all can admit to doing things we are hoping our own kids don't do, bc they might not be as lucky as we were....babies, STDs, injuries, permanent records and what not...

Well, I'm obviously not having kids. BUT if I were, I can honestly say I wouldn't think it was the end of the world if my child was having sex at 14 or 15 or 16. I would just hope they'd be honest with me, and that they were being safe. And I'd do every in my power to make sure they were informed about the choices they were making. Teenagers are going to mostly do whatever the hell they want. Short of installing a chastity belt on your child, there's not much you can do to stop them from having sex. 

Preface: I live in a bubble - I know.

I keep hoping that's not entirely true bc: 

My parents told me I couldn't date until I was 16, I didn't date despite many offers.

My parents told me not to kiss boys, I asked my mom before I had my first kiss (I'm worse than Lolo and the Pepsi)

My parents told me I couldn't drink until I was 21 bc it was against the law - I didn't.

My parents and the Catholic church told me I couldn't have intercourse until I was married - I didn't (the first time)

My parents didn't install a chesty belt but they did have a HUGE impact on stopping me from having sex. So I am hoping by some miracle I get  little rule follower like I was. 

If that doesn't happen then yes, I hope they are honest and safe. But I really don't believe 99% of teens are honest about sex with their parents. 

I by no means think this make me or my parents better than anyone else not he planet...but I think sex has the ability to mess up your life and I know some people that are still dealing with choices they wish they could take back (STDs, abortions, being used and discarded).

I feel like you're really judging people that decided to have sex at a younger age and/or didn't wait until marriage. And I'm really trying hard not to be offended, but I am. 

Being used and discarded? Is that what you think pre-martial sex is? 

Abortions? I had one. I don't feel bad about it at all. It was the right choice. 

And you can still get an STD even if you're married. What if your partner cheats on you? 

PrettyGirlLost

ClimbingBrideNY said:

It's scary over there. 

Nothing  could possible be as scary as what little I have seen on The Bump.  A lot of those women seem totally BSC and I personally don't think they should be having children. . . whom they will raise into a generation of even more BSC adults.

Maybe we should make The Nest Trouble in Paradise our pet project and try6 as a group to inject some good advice and reality into all the stupidity?

beethery

PrettyGirlLost said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

It's scary over there. 

Nothing  could possible be as scary as what little I have seen on The Bump.  A lot of those women seem totally BSC and I personally don't think they should be having children. . . whom they will raise into a generation of even more BSC adults.

Maybe we should make The Nest Trouble in Paradise our pet project and try6 as a group to inject some good advice and reality into all the stupidity?

lol I don't want to get yelled at by ol' Tampon so I'm content to lurk.

climbingsingle

I"m reading the post now with the husband with disrepctful friends. Holy crap. 

PrettyGirlLost

southernbelle0915 said:

photokitty said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

Sugargirl1019 said:

I'm totally stuck on the idea that you guys had sex so young. Sorry. It frightens me!

Seriously? What's it to you? I lost my virginity when I was 14, with my boyfriend I was with for many years. Why does that frighten you? 

My guess - BC the idea of having a child who has sex at 13, 14, 15, any age before the age where they are mature enough to be a parent is frightening...I know it is to me.

I think we all can admit to doing things we are hoping our own kids don't do, bc they might not be as lucky as we were....babies, STDs, injuries, permanent records and what not...

Yea, this is how I took it, too. I was an...early starter as well. It's a miracle I didn't get pregnant. 

My takeaway from it was that if I'm ever a parent, I need to make the kid believe they can tell me if they want birth control and that I won't be mad. And the importance of birth control of course. Also, I will be getting them the HPV vaccine as soon as they're old enough.

IUD's all around!  I'd give them out as birthday/Christmas gifts, honestly.

HPV vaccine for boys and girls 10+ years of age.

theartistformerlyknownas

lacqueredlover said:

lolo883 said:

I wouldn't even have a glass of Pepsi without asking my parents' permission first when I was 13. But I'm well aware that I am not most people.

If I was your parents, I would forbid you from drinking Pepsi.  Coke is way superior :-)

Oh I agree. Especially since it was caffeine-free.

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826

PrettyGirlLost said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

It's scary over there. 

Nothing  could possible be as scary as what little I have seen on The Bump.  A lot of those women seem totally BSC and I personally don't think they should be having children. . . whom they will raise into a generation of even more BSC adults.

Maybe we should make The Nest Trouble in Paradise our pet project and try6 as a group to inject some good advice and reality into all the stupidity?

But what if your kid is offered fruit snacks?  WHAT DO YOU DO?  

sarawifenow

Pepsi for life!!!!

 

 

photokitty

ClimbingBrideNY said:

photokitty said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

photokitty said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

Sugargirl1019 said:

I'm totally stuck on the idea that you guys had sex so young. Sorry. It frightens me!

Seriously? What's it to you? I lost my virginity when I was 14, with my boyfriend I was with for many years. Why does that frighten you? 

My guess - BC the idea of having a child who has sex at 13, 14, 15, any age before the age where they are mature enough to be a parent is frightening...I know it is to me.

I think we all can admit to doing things we are hoping our own kids don't do, bc they might not be as lucky as we were....babies, STDs, injuries, permanent records and what not...

Well, I'm obviously not having kids. BUT if I were, I can honestly say I wouldn't think it was the end of the world if my child was having sex at 14 or 15 or 16. I would just hope they'd be honest with me, and that they were being safe. And I'd do every in my power to make sure they were informed about the choices they were making. Teenagers are going to mostly do whatever the hell they want. Short of installing a chastity belt on your child, there's not much you can do to stop them from having sex. 

Preface: I live in a bubble - I know.

I keep hoping that's not entirely true bc: 

My parents told me I couldn't date until I was 16, I didn't date despite many offers.

My parents told me not to kiss boys, I asked my mom before I had my first kiss (I'm worse than Lolo and the Pepsi)

My parents told me I couldn't drink until I was 21 bc it was against the law - I didn't.

My parents and the Catholic church told me I couldn't have intercourse until I was married - I didn't (the first time)

My parents didn't install a chesty belt but they did have a HUGE impact on stopping me from having sex. So I am hoping by some miracle I get  little rule follower like I was. 

If that doesn't happen then yes, I hope they are honest and safe. But I really don't believe 99% of teens are honest about sex with their parents. 

I by no means think this make me or my parents better than anyone else not he planet...but I think sex has the ability to mess up your life and I know some people that are still dealing with choices they wish they could take back (STDs, abortions, being used and discarded).

I feel like you're really judging people that decided to have sex at a younger age and/or didn't wait until marriage. And I'm really trying hard not to be offended, but I am. 

Being used and discarded? Is that what you think pre-martial sex is? 

Abortions? I had one. I don't feel bad about it at all. It was the right choice. 

And you can still get an STD even if you're married. What if your partner cheats on you? 

I am not judging, trust me. I work in health and human services and have based much of my career on not judging others. I had plenty of friends who engaged in sex at a young age and I don;t judge them. I was judged constantly for more choice to be not have sex, constantly. I wouldn't have have a jar of condems on my desk, for my dorm floor and then for my sorority if I was judging anyone. Sexuality is a very personal choice - but still one parents can be understandable concerned/ interested in for their children. 

I have called them choices, not mistakes - that would be judging. They are choices and choices have consequences.

I do not think premarital sex is being used and discarded, but some people are used and discarded - both in premarital sex and even in marriage. Not all sex is meaningful and special, some people find themselves tortured bc they were used - it has nothing to do with premarital sex, that's why I said "sex" without a qualifier.

I have a friend that had an abortion and she cries uncontrollable the each year, for a week when the anniversary rolls around. She stand by her choice, but she wishes she had never slept with a guy who told her it was her problem when she went to him withe news. I don't judge her and I don't judge you, but I think people live with the decision. I am a strong supporter of a woman's right to choose despite my personal decision to wait to have sex.

I am well aware of the possibility of getting STDs...even if your husband doesn't cheat, you are always at risk for contracting HSV1, which 80-90% of the population has orally, on your genitals if you engage in oral sex. Not having premarital sex reduces your risk - yes, but it's not a catch all or fail safe.

You are projecting your assumption onto me. I am not judging you, but I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting your children to avoid the risks that come with having sex. Hell, if my dad didn't want grandkids he'd probably hope I never ever had sex.

ClimbingBrideNY, you know that, but I'm offended you are putting words in my mouth, bc when I reread what you wrote that's what is feels like to me.

beethery

sarawifenow said:

Pepsi for life!!!!

 

 

NO MA'AM.

princessofgenovia

beethery said:

esstee33 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

photokitty said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

Sugargirl1019 said:

I'm totally stuck on the idea that you guys had sex so young. Sorry. It frightens me!

Seriously? What's it to you? I lost my virginity when I was 14, with my boyfriend I was with for many years. Why does that frighten you? 

My guess - BC the idea of having a child who has sex at 13, 14, 15, any age before the age where they are mature enough to be a parent is frightening...I know it is to me.

I think we all can admit to doing things we are hoping our own kids don't do, bc they might not be as lucky as we were....babies, STDs, injuries, permanent records and what not...

Yea, this is how I took it, too. I was an...early starter as well. It's a miracle I didn't get pregnant. 

My takeaway from it was that if I'm ever a parent, I need to make the kid believe they can tell me if they want birth control and that I won't be mad. And the importance of birth control of course. Also, I will be getting them the HPV vaccine as soon as they're old enough.

This, exactly. I'm not naive enough to believe that my kids won't know about sex by the time they're pre-teens, and I intend to give the sex talk early, and make it very, very clear that safe sex is critically important. Like, I won't be mad if you're having sex, but I want to have an open and honest dialogue about it to make sure you're being safe. This is exactly what my mom did with me, and she was true to her word: I lost my virginity at 14, and her only concern (at least that she voiced to me) was whether or not I was using protection. She took me to get birth control, which was awesome, since I had super awful periods too. 

Sheltering your children isn't going to stop them from learning about what you're hiding, and hiding it from them will ensure that they learn it through whatever maybe unsavory sources they can find. 

I wish my mom had been like your mom.

I obsessively tracked my periods because I knew I'd be totally out of commission for two weeks surrounding its arrival. I would throw up and get dizzy spells from the pain. My mom would talk about how birth control would help me once I was older.

Come 18, I visited the dermatologist and was promptly prescribed BC pills. While driving to the pharmacy and relaying how the visit went over, she told me she hoped I didn't think that those pills were her permission to have sex.

I was so far from being a virgin by that point that I couldn't have eyeballed it in the distance with BINOCULARS, and I'd been stripping for a couple of months by that point.

Short version: Don't be like my mom, or you will not know a fucking thing about your kid's life.

My mom was like your mom's exact oppisite. She flat out asked me when I was 13 if I wanted to go on the pill. I didn't yet but she told me to let her know when I wanted to and she'd take me.

A few months later she came back and told me that if I felt like I couldn't come to her, I could go a bunch of other people, and then if I still didn't feel comfortable I could take myself to Planned Parenthood at the age of 14 in our state and get birth control. I did go to her to get put on the pill but I always thought it was so cool of her to let me know there were other ways to get on the pill if I felt uncomfortable talking to her about it.

My mom stripped for awhile when I was really little and when I did some "adult modeling" in college she knew all about it and asked me why I didn't strip...because I'd kill myself trying to dance in those heels. Plus my college town had one strip club and it was really gross, I did not want to work there.

I didn't tell her right after I had sex but I did eventually tell her and she said "Oh, yeah, I kind of figured you two were having sex, well...you're being careful right?", when I did get pregnant at 17 (after being raped), we had a real honest discussion about my options and she took me to get the abortion (and paid for it).

Her mom was more like your mom...to some degree. My grandma it was more about if my mom did grown up things it made her old. And less about her not apporving. I love my grandma, but the woman is actually a little crazy.

PrettyGirlLost

ClimbingBrideNY said:

photokitty said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

photokitty said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

Sugargirl1019 said:

I'm totally stuck on the idea that you guys had sex so young. Sorry. It frightens me!

Seriously? What's it to you? I lost my virginity when I was 14, with my boyfriend I was with for many years. Why does that frighten you? 

My guess - BC the idea of having a child who has sex at 13, 14, 15, any age before the age where they are mature enough to be a parent is frightening...I know it is to me.

I think we all can admit to doing things we are hoping our own kids don't do, bc they might not be as lucky as we were....babies, STDs, injuries, permanent records and what not...

Well, I'm obviously not having kids. BUT if I were, I can honestly say I wouldn't think it was the end of the world if my child was having sex at 14 or 15 or 16. I would just hope they'd be honest with me, and that they were being safe. And I'd do every in my power to make sure they were informed about the choices they were making. Teenagers are going to mostly do whatever the hell they want. Short of installing a chastity belt on your child, there's not much you can do to stop them from having sex. 

Preface: I live in a bubble - I know.

I keep hoping that's not entirely true bc: 

My parents told me I couldn't date until I was 16, I didn't date despite many offers.

My parents told me not to kiss boys, I asked my mom before I had my first kiss (I'm worse than Lolo and the Pepsi)

My parents told me I couldn't drink until I was 21 bc it was against the law - I didn't.

My parents and the Catholic church told me I couldn't have intercourse until I was married - I didn't (the first time)

My parents didn't install a chesty belt but they did have a HUGE impact on stopping me from having sex. So I am hoping by some miracle I get  little rule follower like I was. 

If that doesn't happen then yes, I hope they are honest and safe. But I really don't believe 99% of teens are honest about sex with their parents. 

I by no means think this make me or my parents better than anyone else not he planet...but I think sex has the ability to mess up your life and I know some people that are still dealing with choices they wish they could take back (STDs, abortions, being used and discarded).

I feel like you're really judging people that decided to have sex at a younger age and/or didn't wait until marriage. And I'm really trying hard not to be offended, but I am. 

Being used and discarded? Is that what you think pre-martial sex is? 

Abortions? I had one. I don't feel bad about it at all. It was the right choice. 

And you can still get an STD even if you're married. What if your partner cheats on you? 

I'm not saying this to be harsh or mean, but I think you are being a bit overly sensitive and defensive of your life choices, and then projecting things onto what photokitty is saying.

She said that she knows of people personally whose decision to have sex negatively impacted their own lives- she never said premarital nor even at what age they had sex and then the negative consequences followed.  And she didn't make any judgements about anything you said that I saw in this thread.

Look, we all know that sex is a big fucking deal for many reasons, getting pregnant and getting an STD are among the more serious consequences.  Pre-teens and teenagers up through the early 20's are not a demographic known for rational decision making abilities.  In fact because of how our brains are changing and developing during that time, we are more impulsive and generally lack the ability to think things through long term. 

So literally raging hormones + sex+ developing brains + lack of impulse control CAN equal bad things.  That's all anyone is saying.  Not that bad things happen to every teen who engages in sex, not that teens engaging in sex is bad in and of itself, not that anyone in this thread specifically who had sex at a very young age is bad.

All that was said was that basically young kids having sex is scary because of the possible consequences.

Not every teen makes bad choices when it comes to sex, but let's be real that many- hell a lot of grown ass adults with seemingly mature developed brains do as well.

PrettyGirlLost

goldchocobo said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

It's scary over there. 

Nothing  could possible be as scary as what little I have seen on The Bump.  A lot of those women seem totally BSC and I personally don't think they should be having children. . . whom they will raise into a generation of even more BSC adults.

Maybe we should make The Nest Trouble in Paradise our pet project and try6 as a group to inject some good advice and reality into all the stupidity?

But what if your kid is offered fruit snacks?  WHAT DO YOU DO?  

See, I never even saw that thread.  So I can't even appreciate the full impact of your joke

esstee33

@beethery Ugh, girl. that is shitty as hell that your mom was like that. Mine was awesome when I was a teenager and then just went all wrong after that haha. 

I would've straight-up died without BC pills for my period, though. 

PrettyGirlLost

beethery said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

It's scary over there. 

Nothing  could possible be as scary as what little I have seen on The Bump.  A lot of those women seem totally BSC and I personally don't think they should be having children. . . whom they will raise into a generation of even more BSC adults.

Maybe we should make The Nest Trouble in Paradise our pet project and try6 as a group to inject some good advice and reality into all the stupidity?

lol I don't want to get yelled at by ol' Tampon so I'm content to lurk.

Oh you wuss!

Come on!  She can't be as bad as some of these SS!!!!!  Real hoodrats aren't afraid of nothing!

ashley8918

ClimbingBrideNY said:

photokitty said:

Preface: I live in a bubble - I know.

I keep hoping that's not entirely true bc: 

My parents told me I couldn't date until I was 16, I didn't date despite many offers.

My parents told me not to kiss boys, I asked my mom before I had my first kiss (I'm worse than Lolo and the Pepsi)

My parents told me I couldn't drink until I was 21 bc it was against the law - I didn't.

My parents and the Catholic church told me I couldn't have intercourse until I was married - I didn't (the first time)

My parents didn't install a chesty belt but they did have a HUGE impact on stopping me from having sex. So I am hoping by some miracle I get  little rule follower like I was. 

If that doesn't happen then yes, I hope they are honest and safe. But I really don't believe 99% of teens are honest about sex with their parents. 

I by no means think this make me or my parents better than anyone else not he planet...but I think sex has the ability to mess up your life and I know some people that are still dealing with choices they wish they could take back (STDs, abortions, being used and discarded).

I feel like you're really judging people that decided to have sex at a younger age and/or didn't wait until marriage. And I'm really trying hard not to be offended, but I am. 

Being used and discarded? Is that what you think pre-martial sex is? 

Abortions? I had one. I don't feel bad about it at all. It was the right choice. 

And you can still get an STD even if you're married. What if your partner cheats on you? 

This also rubbed me the wrong way. I had lots of damned good pre-marital sex. So what? Never once did I feel "used and discarded". What a terrible way to think about sex. I am actually of the opinion that NOT having sex before marriage is a mistake. How do you know that you are sexually compatible? What if you aren't? No thank you. But, even having this opinion, I don't go around with my judgey pants on chastising those that wait. Do your thing! 

I didn't get any STDs, but, NEWSFLASH, adults and married folk can totally get STDs too! 

Team had-an-abortion-as-a-teen over here too. Not for one miniscule second did I/do I regret that. It was 100% the right thing for me to do, and I am so incredibly happy that it was an option for me. I would have lost that baby to CPS in a heartbeat at 16. I was in no way prepared to be a mother, and was just generally a shitty person (as most teenagers are, let's be honest). On top of that, I havae bipolar, and had JUST been diagnosed at that point. I was incredibly unstable for years to come, until we figured out the right medication combo for me.

I also was a teenaged mother a few years later, at 19. But by then, I was ready-ish. And let me tell you, I did a great job and still do with my now 7-year old.

Tl;dr: Having sex young did not in any way ruin my life. I do not regret it one bit.

esstee33

sarawifenow said:

Pepsi for life!!!!

 

 

Pepsi is superior. The Sara(h)s have spoken. 

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826

PrettyGirlLost said:

goldchocobo said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

It's scary over there. 

Nothing  could possible be as scary as what little I have seen on The Bump.  A lot of those women seem totally BSC and I personally don't think they should be having children. . . whom they will raise into a generation of even more BSC adults.

Maybe we should make The Nest Trouble in Paradise our pet project and try6 as a group to inject some good advice and reality into all the stupidity?

But what if your kid is offered fruit snacks?  WHAT DO YOU DO?  

See, I never even saw that thread.  So I can't even appreciate the full impact of your joke

http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/1042279/another-mass-exodus/p1

There you go!

Sugargirl1019

KatWAG said:

lolo883 said:

I wouldn't even have a glass of Pepsi without asking my parents' permission first when I was 13. But I'm well aware that I am not most people.

This was my house too. I am pretty sure my parents password protected "risque" TV channels like MTV and VH1.

photokitty said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

Sugargirl1019 said:

I'm totally stuck on the idea that you guys had sex so young. Sorry. It frightens me!

Seriously? What's it to you? I lost my virginity when I was 14, with my boyfriend I was with for many years. Why does that frighten you? 

My guess - BC the idea of having a child who has sex at 13, 14, 15, any age before the age where they are mature enough to be a parent is frightening...I know it is to me.

I think we all can admit to doing things we are hoping our own kids don't do, bc they might not be as lucky as we were....babies, STDs, injuries, permanent records and what not...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This. I hadn't even had my first kiss yet. Different timelines for experiences. But, you know from the "did you hide anything from your parents" thread that I live in a bubble.

PrettyGirlLost

ashley8918 said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

photokitty said:

Preface: I live in a bubble - I know.

I keep hoping that's not entirely true bc: 

My parents told me I couldn't date until I was 16, I didn't date despite many offers.

My parents told me not to kiss boys, I asked my mom before I had my first kiss (I'm worse than Lolo and the Pepsi)

My parents told me I couldn't drink until I was 21 bc it was against the law - I didn't.

My parents and the Catholic church told me I couldn't have intercourse until I was married - I didn't (the first time)

My parents didn't install a chesty belt but they did have a HUGE impact on stopping me from having sex. So I am hoping by some miracle I get  little rule follower like I was. 

If that doesn't happen then yes, I hope they are honest and safe. But I really don't believe 99% of teens are honest about sex with their parents. 

I by no means think this make me or my parents better than anyone else not he planet...but I think sex has the ability to mess up your life and I know some people that are still dealing with choices they wish they could take back (STDs, abortions, being used and discarded).

I feel like you're really judging people that decided to have sex at a younger age and/or didn't wait until marriage. And I'm really trying hard not to be offended, but I am. 

Being used and discarded? Is that what you think pre-martial sex is? 

Abortions? I had one. I don't feel bad about it at all. It was the right choice. 

And you can still get an STD even if you're married. What if your partner cheats on you? 

This also rubbed me the wrong way. I had lots of damned good pre-marital sex. So what? Never once did I feel "used and discarded". What a terrible way to think about sex. I am actually of the opinion that NOT having sex before marriage is a mistake. How do you know that you are sexually compatible? What if you aren't? No thank you. But, even having this opinion, I don't go around with my judgey pants on chastising those that wait. Do your thing! 

I didn't get any STDs, but, NEWSFLASH, adults and married folk can totally get STDs too! 

Team had-an-abortion-as-a-teen over here too. Not for one miniscule second did I/do I regret that. It was 100% the right thing for me to do, and I am so incredibly happy that it was an option for me. I would have lost that baby to CPS in a heartbeat at 16. I was in no way prepared to be a mother, and was just generally a shitty person (as most teenagers are, let's be honest). On top of that, I havae bipolar, and had JUST been diagnosed at that point. I was incredibly unstable for years to come, until we figured out the right medication combo for me.

I also was a teenaged mother a few years later, at 19. But by then, I was ready-ish. And let me tell you, I did a great job and still do with my now 7-year old.

Tl;dr: Having sex young did not in any way ruin my life. I do not regret it one bit.

Re-read what photokity was saying and then scroll up and read her most recent post that you missed while you were typing.

She's not judging anyone specifically in this thread.  Period.  Relax, everyone.  No one is judging or slut shaming anyone in here.

Acknowledging that sex, period, no matter the age or marital status, can lead to negative consequences is not judging people.

WRT to periods- I wish I had had the balls to ask to go on BC when I was in HS because my periods were debilitating, as it sounds like some of yours were as well.  In fact my OBGYN suspects I may have endo, but I'd need an internal ultrasound to verify which I'm not too keen on doing. . . and BC seems to be the treatment, which I'm already on.

beethery

beethery said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

It's scary over there. 

Nothing  could possible be as scary as what little I have seen on The Bump.  A lot of those women seem totally BSC and I personally don't think they should be having children. . . whom they will raise into a generation of even more BSC adults.

Maybe we should make The Nest Trouble in Paradise our pet project and try6 as a group to inject some good advice and reality into all the stupidity?

lol I don't want to get yelled at by ol' Tampon so I'm content to lurk.

Oh you wuss!

Come on!  She can't be as bad as some of these SS!!!!!  Real hoodrats aren't afraid of nothing!

I ain't scared of SHIT, but I got enough wild bullshit to deal with over here without trying to talk to that brick wall of crazy!

PrettyGirlLost

goldchocobo said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

goldchocobo said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

It's scary over there. 

Nothing  could possible be as scary as what little I have seen on The Bump.  A lot of those women seem totally BSC and I personally don't think they should be having children. . . whom they will raise into a generation of even more BSC adults.

Maybe we should make The Nest Trouble in Paradise our pet project and try6 as a group to inject some good advice and reality into all the stupidity?

But what if your kid is offered fruit snacks?  WHAT DO YOU DO?  

See, I never even saw that thread.  So I can't even appreciate the full impact of your joke

http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/1042279/another-mass-exodus/p1

There you go!

Damn you!  I need to go home and install the latest WoW expansion for DH before he gets home. . . .

photokitty

ashley8918 said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

photokitty said:

Preface: I live in a bubble - I know.

I keep hoping that's not entirely true bc: 

My parents told me I couldn't date until I was 16, I didn't date despite many offers.

My parents told me not to kiss boys, I asked my mom before I had my first kiss (I'm worse than Lolo and the Pepsi)

My parents told me I couldn't drink until I was 21 bc it was against the law - I didn't.

My parents and the Catholic church told me I couldn't have intercourse until I was married - I didn't (the first time)

My parents didn't install a chesty belt but they did have a HUGE impact on stopping me from having sex. So I am hoping by some miracle I get  little rule follower like I was. 

If that doesn't happen then yes, I hope they are honest and safe. But I really don't believe 99% of teens are honest about sex with their parents. 

I by no means think this make me or my parents better than anyone else not he planet...but I think sex has the ability to mess up your life and I know some people that are still dealing with choices they wish they could take back (STDs, abortions, being used and discarded).

I feel like you're really judging people that decided to have sex at a younger age and/or didn't wait until marriage. And I'm really trying hard not to be offended, but I am. 

Being used and discarded? Is that what you think pre-martial sex is? 

Abortions? I had one. I don't feel bad about it at all. It was the right choice. 

And you can still get an STD even if you're married. What if your partner cheats on you? 

This also rubbed me the wrong way. I had lots of damned good pre-marital sex. So what? Never once did I feel "used and discarded". What a terrible way to think about sex. I am actually of the opinion that NOT having sex before marriage is a mistake. How do you know that you are sexually compatible? What if you aren't? No thank you. But, even having this opinion, I don't go around with my judgey pants on chastising those that wait. Do your thing! 

I didn't get any STDs, but, NEWSFLASH, adults and married folk can totally get STDs too! 

Team had-an-abortion-as-a-teen over here too. Not for one miniscule second did I/do I regret that. It was 100% the right thing for me to do, and I am so incredibly happy that it was an option for me. I would have lost that baby to CPS in a heartbeat at 16. I was in no way prepared to be a mother, and was just generally a shitty person (as most teenagers are, let's be honest). On top of that, I havae bipolar, and had JUST been diagnosed at that point. I was incredibly unstable for years to come, until we figured out the right medication combo for me.

I also was a teenaged mother a few years later, at 19. But by then, I was ready-ish. And let me tell you, I did a great job and still do with my now 7-year old.

Tl;dr: Having sex young did not in any way ruin my life. I do not regret it one bit.

Yeah, bc that's totally what I said - having sex young will ruin your life. FFS!

Feel free to go back and read my response to CB as it addresses this. I never said anything bad about teenage moms or sex at a young age ruining anyone's life so please stop suggesting I did.