I will never leave you ladies

vegasbride2015

photokitty said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

Sugargirl1019 said:

I'm totally stuck on the idea that you guys had sex so young. Sorry. It frightens me!

Seriously? What's it to you? I lost my virginity when I was 14, with my boyfriend I was with for many years. Why does that frighten you? 

My guess - BC the idea of having a child who has sex at 13, 14, 15, any age before the age where they are mature enough to be a parent is frightening...I know it is to me.

I think we all can admit to doing things we are hoping our own kids don't do, bc they might not be as lucky as we were....babies, STDs, injuries, permanent records and what not...

I have a 14 yo daughter. Does it scare me? Yes. Does it frighten me? No. Am I shocked younger kids are losing their v-card? Hell no! What I have done is discussed birth control, condoms, and the repercussions of having sex, but I have also let her know if and when the time comes, she knows she can come to me and I will take her to get BC or whatever she needs. I'm being realistic here. Being the parent of a teenager comes with a lot of tough issues and maintaining the balance of dictator parent is not easy. Especially when you're divorced from the baby daddy.

ashley8918

photokitty said:

ashley8918 said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

photokitty said:

Preface: I live in a bubble - I know.

I keep hoping that's not entirely true bc: 

My parents told me I couldn't date until I was 16, I didn't date despite many offers.

My parents told me not to kiss boys, I asked my mom before I had my first kiss (I'm worse than Lolo and the Pepsi)

My parents told me I couldn't drink until I was 21 bc it was against the law - I didn't.

My parents and the Catholic church told me I couldn't have intercourse until I was married - I didn't (the first time)

My parents didn't install a chesty belt but they did have a HUGE impact on stopping me from having sex. So I am hoping by some miracle I get  little rule follower like I was. 

If that doesn't happen then yes, I hope they are honest and safe. But I really don't believe 99% of teens are honest about sex with their parents. 

I by no means think this make me or my parents better than anyone else not he planet...but I think sex has the ability to mess up your life and I know some people that are still dealing with choices they wish they could take back (STDs, abortions, being used and discarded).

I feel like you're really judging people that decided to have sex at a younger age and/or didn't wait until marriage. And I'm really trying hard not to be offended, but I am. 

Being used and discarded? Is that what you think pre-martial sex is? 

Abortions? I had one. I don't feel bad about it at all. It was the right choice. 

And you can still get an STD even if you're married. What if your partner cheats on you? 

This also rubbed me the wrong way. I had lots of damned good pre-marital sex. So what? Never once did I feel "used and discarded". What a terrible way to think about sex. I am actually of the opinion that NOT having sex before marriage is a mistake. How do you know that you are sexually compatible? What if you aren't? No thank you. But, even having this opinion, I don't go around with my judgey pants on chastising those that wait. Do your thing! 

I didn't get any STDs, but, NEWSFLASH, adults and married folk can totally get STDs too! 

Team had-an-abortion-as-a-teen over here too. Not for one miniscule second did I/do I regret that. It was 100% the right thing for me to do, and I am so incredibly happy that it was an option for me. I would have lost that baby to CPS in a heartbeat at 16. I was in no way prepared to be a mother, and was just generally a shitty person (as most teenagers are, let's be honest). On top of that, I havae bipolar, and had JUST been diagnosed at that point. I was incredibly unstable for years to come, until we figured out the right medication combo for me.

I also was a teenaged mother a few years later, at 19. But by then, I was ready-ish. And let me tell you, I did a great job and still do with my now 7-year old.

Tl;dr: Having sex young did not in any way ruin my life. I do not regret it one bit.

Yeah, bc that's totally what I said - having sex young will ruin your life. FFS!

Feel free to go back and read my response to CB as it addresses this. I never said anything bad about teenage mom so please stop suggesting I did.

Whoaaa, there. Nobody suggested that you said anything bad about teen moms. It was just relevant to my "had an abortion, don't regret" it anecdote.

I read your post as "having sex young is scary and wrong because STDs, abortions, and being used and discarded". Clearly, that is not what you meant, so we can all just move along.

When I perceive people as being Judgey McJudgerson's about my sex life/body/life choices, the claws will always come out. And when it turns out that that was not the intention?

flyingfoxes

My FSD is almost 15.  It makes me incredibly uncomfortable to think that she could be having sex soon (I truly believe she's not - she still acts on the "kid" side of things and seems to be in no hurry to grow up - which is A-OK in my book!).  She's had the HPV shot, and I'm thinking maybe I might need to nudge FI to let her know it's okay to come to either of us if she's thinking she needs it any time soon (it's been said in passing but I'm not sure she knows we're serious). 

My mother was pregnant with my older sister at 15, so she was very open about us coming to her when we needed BC.  I intend to be the same way - I fo sho don't want to be a grandma any time soon (esp in my 30s!). 

vegasbride2015

@mobride2015 My mom was sooooo into the Abstinence-Only crap. I wasn't allowed to take sex ed, I was taught to save it for marriage (I didn't. I lost my virginity after I graduated high school at 18). I have fully intended on being everything my mom was not. I think I'm doing okay so far lol.

theartistformerlyknownas

vegasbride2015 said:

I have a 14 yo daughter. Does it scare me? Yes. Does it frighten me? No. Am I shocked younger kids are losing their v-card? Hell no! What I have done is discussed birth control, condoms, and the repercussions of having sex, but I have also let her know if and when the time comes, she knows she can come to me and I will take her to get BC or whatever she needs. I'm being realistic here. Being the parent of a teenager comes with a lot of tough issues and maintaining the balance of dictator parent is not easy. Especially when you're divorced from the baby daddy.

Wait a minute, since when do "scare" and "frighten" mean different things? Pretty sure those are synonyms, and if not I've been Englishing wrong my whole life.

ashley8918

lolo883 said:

vegasbride2015 said:

I have a 14 yo daughter. Does it scare me? Yes. Does it frighten me? No. Am I shocked younger kids are losing their v-card? Hell no! What I have done is discussed birth control, condoms, and the repercussions of having sex, but I have also let her know if and when the time comes, she knows she can come to me and I will take her to get BC or whatever she needs. I'm being realistic here. Being the parent of a teenager comes with a lot of tough issues and maintaining the balance of dictator parent is not easy. Especially when you're divorced from the baby daddy.

Wait a minute, since when do "scare" and "frighten" mean different things? Pretty sure those are synonyms, and if not I've been Englishing wrong my whole life.

vegasbride2015

lolo883 said:

vegasbride2015 said:

I have a 14 yo daughter. Does it scare me? Yes. Does it frighten me? No. Am I shocked younger kids are losing their v-card? Hell no! What I have done is discussed birth control, condoms, and the repercussions of having sex, but I have also let her know if and when the time comes, she knows she can come to me and I will take her to get BC or whatever she needs. I'm being realistic here. Being the parent of a teenager comes with a lot of tough issues and maintaining the balance of dictator parent is not easy. Especially when you're divorced from the baby daddy.

Wait a minute, since when do "scare" and "frighten" mean different things? Pretty sure those are synonyms, and if not I've been Englishing wrong my whole life.

Let me rephrase that, scare should be "makes me uncomfortable", and yes, scare/frighten do mean the same, the level is a bit higher than feeling uncomfortable.

levioosa

Well, this thread took quite the turn.  

climbingsingle

photokitty said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

photokitty said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

photokitty said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

Sugargirl1019 said:

I'm totally stuck on the idea that you guys had sex so young. Sorry. It frightens me!

Seriously? What's it to you? I lost my virginity when I was 14, with my boyfriend I was with for many years. Why does that frighten you? 

My guess - BC the idea of having a child who has sex at 13, 14, 15, any age before the age where they are mature enough to be a parent is frightening...I know it is to me.

I think we all can admit to doing things we are hoping our own kids don't do, bc they might not be as lucky as we were....babies, STDs, injuries, permanent records and what not...

Well, I'm obviously not having kids. BUT if I were, I can honestly say I wouldn't think it was the end of the world if my child was having sex at 14 or 15 or 16. I would just hope they'd be honest with me, and that they were being safe. And I'd do every in my power to make sure they were informed about the choices they were making. Teenagers are going to mostly do whatever the hell they want. Short of installing a chastity belt on your child, there's not much you can do to stop them from having sex. 

Preface: I live in a bubble - I know.

I keep hoping that's not entirely true bc: 

My parents told me I couldn't date until I was 16, I didn't date despite many offers.

My parents told me not to kiss boys, I asked my mom before I had my first kiss (I'm worse than Lolo and the Pepsi)

My parents told me I couldn't drink until I was 21 bc it was against the law - I didn't.

My parents and the Catholic church told me I couldn't have intercourse until I was married - I didn't (the first time)

My parents didn't install a chesty belt but they did have a HUGE impact on stopping me from having sex. So I am hoping by some miracle I get  little rule follower like I was. 

If that doesn't happen then yes, I hope they are honest and safe. But I really don't believe 99% of teens are honest about sex with their parents. 

I by no means think this make me or my parents better than anyone else not he planet...but I think sex has the ability to mess up your life and I know some people that are still dealing with choices they wish they could take back (STDs, abortions, being used and discarded).

I feel like you're really judging people that decided to have sex at a younger age and/or didn't wait until marriage. And I'm really trying hard not to be offended, but I am. 

Being used and discarded? Is that what you think pre-martial sex is? 

Abortions? I had one. I don't feel bad about it at all. It was the right choice. 

And you can still get an STD even if you're married. What if your partner cheats on you? 

I am not judging, trust me. I work in health and human services and have based much of my career on not judging others. I had plenty of friends who engaged in sex at a young age and I don;t judge them. I was judged constantly for more choice to be not have sex, constantly. I wouldn't have have a jar of condems on my desk, for my dorm floor and then for my sorority if I was judging anyone. Sexuality is a very personal choice - but still one parents can be understandable concerned/ interested in for their children. 

I have called them choices, not mistakes - that would be judging. They are choices and choices have consequences.

I do not think premarital sex is being used and discarded, but some people are used and discarded - both in premarital sex and even in marriage. Not all sex is meaningful and special, some people find themselves tortured bc they were used - it has nothing to do with premarital sex, that's why I said "sex" without a qualifier.

I have a friend that had an abortion and she cries uncontrollable the each year, for a week when the anniversary rolls around. She stand by her choice, but she wishes she had never slept with a guy who told her it was her problem when she went to him withe news. I don't judge her and I don't judge you, but I think people live with the decision. I am a strong supporter of a woman's right to choose despite my personal decision to wait to have sex.

I am well aware of the possibility of getting STDs...even if your husband doesn't cheat, you are always at risk for contracting HSV1, which 80-90% of the population has orally, on your genitals if you engage in oral sex. Not having premarital sex reduces your risk - yes, but it's not a catch all or fail safe.

You are projecting your assumption onto me. I am not judging you, but I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting your children to avoid the risks that come with having sex. Hell, if my dad didn't want grandkids he'd probably hope I never ever had sex.

ClimbingBrideNY, you know that, but I'm offended you are putting words in my mouth, bc when I reread what you wrote that's what is feels like to me.

I feel you. Sorry if I read it the wrong way.

larrygaga

OK I'll just throw out there that even though I had sex so young, it has always been with FI. My mother and older sisters made sure I knew how to be safe and they trusted me to make good choices. And I did. Look how successful and happy I am. I also have a better relationship than any of my friends or siblings.  We plan on making sure our kids know what to do and all that and make sure they know I won't be mad at them for having sex young. I want them to be able to come to me for birth control rather than just going without because they feel I'll be pissed or judge them. I hope they don't have sex as young as me, but it just happens that teens will do what they do, whether parents say they can or not.

Anyway, I'm bored of this conversation so I will attempt to change the subject to another TIB thread.

http://forums.thenest.com/discussion/8889022/help-mils-mental-health-issues-breaking-up-marriage

I can't even begin to point out all things crazy with this thread. 

But I'm going to try

1. If we all left our SO over not liking in laws, everyone would be single. Including me.

2. They are all saying her husband is choosing his mother over his wife, but it really seems to me that wife is attacking mother unfairly. I would defend my mom too!

3. Planning who is babysitting unborn unconceived children each day of the week.

4. Stressing about how mother will somehow damage unborn unconceived children because of her unresolved trauma. Kids can really take more than many people realize. I'm sure even if a crazy person babysits your child it won't be ruined for life. Both our moms are totally crazy in the exact same way and I know my possible future kids will be safe and happy with them. 

penguin44

larrygaga said:

OK I'll just throw out there that even though I had sex so young, it has always been with FI. My mother and older sisters made sure I knew how to be safe and they trusted me to make good choices. And I did. Look how successful and happy I am. I also have a better relationship than any of my friends or siblings.  We plan on making sure our kids know what to do and all that and make sure they know I won't be mad at them for having sex young. I want them to be able to come to me for birth control rather than just going without because they feel I'll be pissed or judge them. I hope they don't have sex as young as me, but it just happens that teens will do what they do, whether parents say they can or not.

Anyway, I'm bored of this conversation so I will attempt to change the subject to another TIB thread.

http://forums.thenest.com/discussion/8889022/help-mils-mental-health-issues-breaking-up-marriage

I can't even begin to point out all things crazy with this thread. 

But I'm going to try

1. If we all left our SO over not liking in laws, everyone would be single. Including me.

2. They are all saying her husband is choosing his mother over his wife, but it really seems to me that wife is attacking mother unfairly. I would defend my mom too!

3. Planning who is babysitting unborn unconceived children each day of the week.

4. Stressing about how mother will somehow damage unborn unconceived children because of her unresolved trauma. Kids can really take more than many people realize. I'm sure even if a crazy person babysits your child it won't be ruined for life. Both our moms are totally crazy in the exact same way and I know my possible future kids will be safe and happy with them. 

The child doesn't exist yet! They are splitting up their marriage over the time a future child will spend with his/her grandmother! What!? 

PrettyGirlLost

larrygaga said:

Anyway, I'm bored of this conversation so I will attempt to change the subject to another TIB thread.

http://forums.thenest.com/discussion/8889022/help-mils-mental-health-issues-breaking-up-marriage

I can't even begin to point out all things crazy with this thread. 

But I'm going to try

1. If we all left our SO over not liking in laws, everyone would be single. Including me.

2. They are all saying her husband is choosing his mother over his wife, but it really seems to me that wife is attacking mother unfairly. I would defend my mom too!

3. Planning who is babysitting unborn unconceived children each day of the week.

4. Stressing about how mother will somehow damage unborn unconceived children because of her unresolved trauma. Kids can really take more than many people realize. I'm sure even if a crazy person babysits your child it won't be ruined for life. Both our moms are totally crazy in the exact same way and I know my possible future kids will be safe and happy with them. 

Aw come on people, stahp!  I have to do laundry and dishes and vacuum. . .

I don't have time for these threads right now!!!!  I haven't read the fruit snack one yet ><

penguin44

PrettyGirlLost said:

larrygaga said:

Anyway, I'm bored of this conversation so I will attempt to change the subject to another TIB thread.

http://forums.thenest.com/discussion/8889022/help-mils-mental-health-issues-breaking-up-marriage

I can't even begin to point out all things crazy with this thread. 

But I'm going to try

1. If we all left our SO over not liking in laws, everyone would be single. Including me.

2. They are all saying her husband is choosing his mother over his wife, but it really seems to me that wife is attacking mother unfairly. I would defend my mom too!

3. Planning who is babysitting unborn unconceived children each day of the week.

4. Stressing about how mother will somehow damage unborn unconceived children because of her unresolved trauma. Kids can really take more than many people realize. I'm sure even if a crazy person babysits your child it won't be ruined for life. Both our moms are totally crazy in the exact same way and I know my possible future kids will be safe and happy with them. 

Aw come on people, stahp!  I have to do laundry and dishes and vacuum. . .

I don't have time for these threads right now!!!!  I haven't read the fruit snack one yet ><

Fruit snack thread comes first! 

vegasbride2015

larrygaga said:

OK I'll just throw out there that even though I had sex so young, it has always been with FI. My mother and older sisters made sure I knew how to be safe and they trusted me to make good choices. And I did. Look how successful and happy I am. I also have a better relationship than any of my friends or siblings.  We plan on making sure our kids know what to do and all that and make sure they know I won't be mad at them for having sex young. I want them to be able to come to me for birth control rather than just going without because they feel I'll be pissed or judge them. I hope they don't have sex as young as me, but it just happens that teens will do what they do, whether parents say they can or not.

Anyway, I'm bored of this conversation so I will attempt to change the subject to another TIB thread.

http://forums.thenest.com/discussion/8889022/help-mils-mental-health-issues-breaking-up-marriage

I can't even begin to point out all things crazy with this thread. 

But I'm going to try

1. If we all left our SO over not liking in laws, everyone would be single. Including me.

2. They are all saying her husband is choosing his mother over his wife, but it really seems to me that wife is attacking mother unfairly. I would defend my mom too!

3. Planning who is babysitting unborn unconceived children each day of the week.

4. Stressing about how mother will somehow damage unborn unconceived children because of her unresolved trauma. Kids can really take more than many people realize. I'm sure even if a crazy person babysits your child it won't be ruined for life. Both our moms are totally crazy in the exact same way and I know my possible future kids will be safe and happy with them. 

I'm with you.

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826

Sometimes I wonder with the old 2011, 2012, and 2013 threads about what happened to the OP.  I never get closure!  

sophhabobopha

I pop over there  for drama when Fi ansd I are tipsy.

PrettyGirlLost

penguin44 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

larrygaga said:

Anyway, I'm bored of this conversation so I will attempt to change the subject to another TIB thread.

http://forums.thenest.com/discussion/8889022/help-mils-mental-health-issues-breaking-up-marriage

I can't even begin to point out all things crazy with this thread. 

But I'm going to try

1. If we all left our SO over not liking in laws, everyone would be single. Including me.

2. They are all saying her husband is choosing his mother over his wife, but it really seems to me that wife is attacking mother unfairly. I would defend my mom too!

3. Planning who is babysitting unborn unconceived children each day of the week.

4. Stressing about how mother will somehow damage unborn unconceived children because of her unresolved trauma. Kids can really take more than many people realize. I'm sure even if a crazy person babysits your child it won't be ruined for life. Both our moms are totally crazy in the exact same way and I know my possible future kids will be safe and happy with them. 

Aw come on people, stahp!  I have to do laundry and dishes and vacuum. . .

I don't have time for these threads right now!!!!  I haven't read the fruit snack one yet ><

Fruit snack thread comes first! 

Just finished it!

JFC I am *so* glad I grew up and was raised during a time when there was no Internet and no forums or blogs full of crunchy granola woo woo people to fill my mother's brain full of fuckery.

I also fucking love fruit snacks, especially the Welch's ones.

AddieCake

Hate The Bump. Hate The Nest. Love fruit snacks.

beethery

I want some strawberry welch's fruit snacks RIGHT NOW

And some fucking christmas tree cakes. These guys:

mmmmmmmm.

PrettyGirlLost

beethery said:

I want some strawberry welch's fruit snacks RIGHT NOW

And some fucking christmas tree cakes. These guys:

mmmmmmmm.

I just realized I have some Twizzlers!!!!!

beethery

PrettyGirlLost said:

I just realized I have some Twizzlers!!!!!

yeccchhhhhh I don't like twizzlers. More for you!

Sugargirl1019

You guys are making me sooo faaattt.... Ugh...

I had twizzlers today at work.

PrettyGirlLost

beethery said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

I just realized I have some Twizzlers!!!!!

yeccchhhhhh I don't like twizzlers. More for you!

I would offer you Dots but I ate them all last night.

By the way, has anyone else seen the huge 2lb versions of Reece cups, Snickers, the peppermint paddie things, etc in the stores? They are advertised as slice and share or something and I'm tempted to spend the $12 just to impress people with my 2lb Reece Cup.

beethery

PrettyGirlLost said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

I just realized I have some Twizzlers!!!!!

yeccchhhhhh I don't like twizzlers. More for you!

I would offer you Dots but I ate them all last night. By the way, has anyone else seen the huge 2lb versions of Reece cups, Snickers, the peppermint paddie things, etc in the stores? They are advertised as slice and share or something and I'm tempted to spend the $12 just to impress people with my 2lb Reece Cup.

I would not have a chance to do this 'impressing people' thing with a 2lb reese's cup because I would just sit there and eat it while I watched TV.

PrettyGirlLost

beethery said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

beethery said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

I just realized I have some Twizzlers!!!!!

yeccchhhhhh I don't like twizzlers. More for you!

I would offer you Dots but I ate them all last night.

By the way, has anyone else seen the huge 2lb versions of Reece cups, Snickers, the peppermint paddie things, etc in the stores? They are advertised as slice and share or something and I'm tempted to spend the $12 just to impress people with my 2lb Reece Cup.

I would not have a chance to do this 'impressing people' thing with a 2lb reese's cup because I would just sit there and eat it while I watched TV.

Well ok you got me. I'm a liar.

beethery

PrettyGirlLost said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

I just realized I have some Twizzlers!!!!!

yeccchhhhhh I don't like twizzlers. More for you!

I would offer you Dots but I ate them all last night. By the way, has anyone else seen the huge 2lb versions of Reece cups, Snickers, the peppermint paddie things, etc in the stores? They are advertised as slice and share or something and I'm tempted to spend the $12 just to impress people with my 2lb Reece Cup.

I would not have a chance to do this 'impressing people' thing with a 2lb reese's cup because I would just sit there and eat it while I watched TV.

Well ok you got me. I'm a liar.

If reese's cups are involved, it happens to the best of us.

I don't think I could eat a 2lb york though, unless they upped the chocolate ratio.

larrygaga

WHY ARE ALL THESE BOXES HAPPENING

larrygaga

Anyway, I missed the fruit snack thread somehow. Did someone post it in here?

larrygaga

PrettyGirlLost said:

I want some strawberry welch's fruit snacks RIGHT NOW

And some fucking christmas tree cakes. These guys:

mmmmmmmm.

I just realized I have some Twizzlers!!!!!

Red vines 4 lyfe

mrscomposer

Wait, WHAT?  2lb REESES?

Why, Canada, WHY?  Why must you not have the amazing things the US does?!!!