Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

SIgns for Flower Girl and Ring Bearer to Hold

Hi.
I would like the flower girls and ringer bearer to hold signs coming down the aisle...
there are three sets going down the aisle so i need three signs.
When i look online i only really see "here comes your bride" which is fine but i need two more  and i don't want the "last chance to run" signs i have been seeing.
Does anyone have any good ideas for signs? I was even thinking of breaking up a love quote and having each one hold a sign with one part... Like:
First set walk down with sign that says "every once in a while" 
Second set holds sign "in the middle of an ordinary life"
Third set says " love gives us a fairy tale"

any opinions on that or suggestions for others????

THanks!!!
jenilynn3
«13

Re: SIgns for Flower Girl and Ring Bearer to Hold

  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Ladeda123 said:
    Hi.
    I would like the flower girls and ringer bearer to hold signs coming down the aisle...
    there are three sets going down the aisle so i need three signs.
    When i look online i only really see "here comes your bride" which is fine but i need two more  and i don't want the "last chance to run" signs i have been seeing.
    Does anyone have any good ideas for signs? I was even thinking of breaking up a love quote and having each one hold a sign with one part... Like:
    First set walk down with sign that says "every once in a while" 
    Second set holds sign "in the middle of an ordinary life"
    Third set says " love gives us a fairy tale"

    any opinions on that or suggestions for others????

    THanks!!!

    Why do you want to do this? Why do they need signs? Can't they just walk down the aisle?
    fwtx5815[Deleted User]
  • i would like to do signs. 
  • fwtx5815fwtx5815 cowboys nation member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    Three waves of kids walking down the aisle with signs gets into using kids as props territory, IMO.
    I'm all about details, but I just don't get the sign thing.
    People are going to be excited to see YOU walk down the aisle, not trying to piece together a Nicholas Sparks novel tag line.

    I'm with NYCM. skip em

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    [Deleted User]agenevieve22016
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I'm not a fan of the signs, either, but I like the option of some love quotes or love song quotes if you do it.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Tenth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Why do you need them to carry signs?  Isn't the wedding march supposed to announce that you're coming?

    If you want them to participate as flower girl and ring bearer, why can't they just carry the flowers and a cushion with rings (probably not the real ones on them)?  That might be all they can manage.   All these signs you want the kids to carry seem to require a lot of coordination, not to mention that in order for guests to be able to read the signs, they have to be pretty big, and that might be too big for those kids to carry. 

    And whenever I've seen a photo of a kid carrying one of those "here comes your bride" or whatever "cute" signs, the kid was scowling.  S/he did not look like s/he was enjoying it.

    I'd skip the signs and just have them carry flowers and rings.  They'll be "cute" and "involved" without signs.  And in all respect, your guests didn't accept an invitation to a kids' talent show-they accepted it to a wedding of two adults.
    [Deleted User]JennyColada
  • Jen4948 said:
    Why do you need them to carry signs?  Isn't the wedding march supposed to announce that you're coming?

    If you want them to participate as flower girl and ring bearer, why can't they just carry the flowers and a cushion with rings (probably not the real ones on them)?  That might be all they can manage.   All these signs you want the kids to carry seem to require a lot of coordination, not to mention that in order for guests to be able to read the signs, they have to be pretty big, and that might be too big for those kids to carry. 

    And whenever I've seen a photo of a kid carrying one of those "here comes your bride" or whatever "cute" signs, the kid was scowling.  S/he did not look like s/he was enjoying it.

    I'd skip the signs and just have them carry flowers and rings.  They'll be "cute" and "involved" without signs.  And in all respect, your guests didn't accept an invitation to a kids' talent show-they accepted it to a wedding of two adults.
    This is everything I was thinking but Jen worded it better than I could.
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    [Deleted User]agenevieve22016
  • mikenbergermikenberger In a f'n cornfield member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Three sets of children going down the aisle? Are you a professional cat wrangler? Goodness.

    I'm agreement with the other PPs. The signs are props which turn the kids into wedding props. Especially with 3 sets of children going down the aisle. Why can't they just walk down the aisle with flowers and pillows like tradition says? Children are not props. They're small humans.

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    [Deleted User]
  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Do you know what else has a series of people holding signs, walking after each other? This:
    image

    Everyone knows you are at a wedding, why do you need a sign that says "here come the bride"?
    southernbelle0915fwtx5815
  • dcbride86dcbride86 Washington, DC member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer

    I have 4 kids carrying signs, but I just broke up "here comes the bride" - so 2 kids will carry a sign together that says "here comes" and 2 others will carry a sign together that says "the bride."

    You could try something similar?  Maybe have 2 carry a sign that says "here comes" and a third carry a sign that says "the bride"?

  • dcbride86dcbride86 Washington, DC member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    @LondonLisa and other PPs - some people do it because it would be a HUGE deal to the family if some kids were officially "in" the wedding but others weren't.  My FILs would be SO upset if EVERY SINGLE KID did not have a "part" in the wedding.  Rather than dealing with any drama, I gave them parts in the wedding.  Easy enough.  I agree people don't need them, but I also don't think it's necessary to tell people they SHOULDN'T do something that's simply a matter of personal preference
  • dcbride86 said:
    @LondonLisa and other PPs - some people do it because it would be a HUGE deal to the family if some kids were officially "in" the wedding but others weren't.  My FILs would be SO upset if EVERY SINGLE KID did not have a "part" in the wedding.  Rather than dealing with any drama, I gave them parts in the wedding.  Easy enough.  I agree people don't need them, but I also don't think it's necessary to tell people they SHOULDN'T do something that's simply a matter of personal preference
    Not one person said the OP "shouldn't". They said you don't "need" to. 
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  • dcbride86dcbride86 Washington, DC member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    dcbride86 said:
    @LondonLisa and other PPs - some people do it because it would be a HUGE deal to the family if some kids were officially "in" the wedding but others weren't.  My FILs would be SO upset if EVERY SINGLE KID did not have a "part" in the wedding.  Rather than dealing with any drama, I gave them parts in the wedding.  Easy enough.  I agree people don't need them, but I also don't think it's necessary to tell people they SHOULDN'T do something that's simply a matter of personal preference
    Not one person said the OP "shouldn't". They said you don't "need" to. 

    I read the tone as being a bit negative.  But that's probably mostly because I'm in a bit of a grumpy mood today.  Sorry!  Didn't mean to take it out on you guys!
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Tenth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited November 2014
    dcbride86 said:
    @LondonLisa and other PPs - some people do it because it would be a HUGE deal to the family if some kids were officially "in" the wedding but others weren't.  My FILs would be SO upset if EVERY SINGLE KID did not have a "part" in the wedding.  Rather than dealing with any drama, I gave them parts in the wedding.  Easy enough.  I agree people don't need them, but I also don't think it's necessary to tell people they SHOULDN'T do something that's simply a matter of personal preference
    Here's the thing: Not one of us has said that it's not necessary to have all these kids in the wedding.  And there's no reason whatsoever why they can't be ring bearers and flower girls.

    What those of us who expressed objections has actually objected to is for those kids to carry signs.  We think the kids, if they carry anything at all, shouldn't carry anything more than the flowers and the rings-certainly not over-the-top "cute" signs that just aren't cute and that even the kids don't like to carry.  They don't need to carry signs for them to be "included."

    Not only that, however much the FILs object to a wedding that doesn't "include" every single one of those kids, those kids are not and shouldn't be the stars of the show.  It's not their wedding or a kids' school, camp, or daycare talent show.  The FILs really need to get over it even if the couple doesn't feel like making it a hill to die on.  This is in fact an issue I would have with my own parents because they are so invested in being grandparents that I think that they might be prone to forget that sometimes it's just not the kids' occasion.
    fwtx5815wrigleyville
  • dcbride86dcbride86 Washington, DC member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    Jen4948 said:
    dcbride86 said:
    @LondonLisa and other PPs - some people do it because it would be a HUGE deal to the family if some kids were officially "in" the wedding but others weren't.  My FILs would be SO upset if EVERY SINGLE KID did not have a "part" in the wedding.  Rather than dealing with any drama, I gave them parts in the wedding.  Easy enough.  I agree people don't need them, but I also don't think it's necessary to tell people they SHOULDN'T do something that's simply a matter of personal preference
    Here's the thing: Not one of us has said that it's not necessary to have all these kids in the wedding.  And there's no reason whatsoever why they can't be ring bearers and flower girls.

    What those of us who expressed objections has actually objected to is for those kids to carry signs.  We think the kids, if they carry anything at all, shouldn't carry anything more than the flowers and the rings-certainly not over-the-top "cute" signs that just aren't cute and that even the kids don't like to carry.  They don't need to carry signs for them to be "included."

    Not only that, however much the FILs object to a wedding that doesn't "include" every single one of those kids, those kids are not and shouldn't be the stars of the show.  It's not their wedding or a kids' school, camp, or daycare talent show.
      The FILs really need to get over it even if the couple doesn't feel like making it a hill to die on.  This is in fact an issue I would have with my own parents because they are so invested in being grandparents that I think that they might be prone to forget that sometimes it's just not the kids' occasion.
    I totally agree.  I just figured it was FI's call since it's his family, and he thought it wasn't worth the fight, so I agreed.  I think FI just wants everyone to feel included, and I'm on board with that
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Tenth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    How do the kids feel about it?  If they don't want to carry "cute" signs or even participate then they should not be expected to do so, even if the FILs want them to be "included."  They'll be "included" just by being there-which should be up to the couple.
  • fwtx5815fwtx5815 cowboys nation member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    dcbride86 said:

    @LondonLisa and other PPs - some people do it because it would be a HUGE deal to the family if some kids were officially "in" the wedding but others weren't.  My FILs would be SO upset if EVERY SINGLE KID did not have a "part" in the wedding.  Rather than dealing with any drama, I gave them parts in the wedding.  Easy enough.  I agree people don't need them, but I also don't think it's necessary to tell people they SHOULDN'T do something that's simply a matter of personal preference

    That would be really off putting to me if my FILs tried to dictate our WP selection or even guilt trip us into including everyone. I just don't understand how that would affect them at all. I mean you obviously decided it wasn't the hill to die on but wow. I'd be kinda pissed.

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  • Don't do it.  Ugh!
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • I'm not opposed to the signs but wouldn't do more than 1.  Not all the kids hae to come down the same way.  How many kid's are in teh wedding? 6?  Girls or boys?  
  • Definitely sounds more prop-esque to give them all signs rather than something useful. All of the flower girls can still toss petals and then the other "bearer" can carry something meaningful that plays into the ceremony. 

    I'm thinking Bible or other book for a reading, the rope for a hand-tying ceremony (maybe coiled up nicely in a basket), the glass to break if you're doing that tradition, pieces of a unity ceremony, etc. 

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  • dcbride86dcbride86 Washington, DC member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    @dallasbetch I don't really see it as trying to dictate our wedding party or guilt tripping.  They're a tight-knit family and just want everyone involved.  And honestly, what do I care if a few kids walk down the aisle before me?  It doesn't really seem like it would affect the day or anything, so if it makes my FIL happy, why not?
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Tenth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers

    Definitely sounds more prop-esque to give them all signs rather than something useful. All of the flower girls can still toss petals and then the other "bearer" can carry something meaningful that plays into the ceremony. 


    I'm thinking Bible or other book for a reading, the rope for a hand-tying ceremony (maybe coiled up nicely in a basket), the glass to break if you're doing that tradition, pieces of a unity ceremony, etc. 
    Please do not do a glass-breaking ceremony as a "bonding experience" with your kids. It has a specific Jewish religious connotation and it is not appropriate as a unity ritual. as, despite common portrayals and superstitions, it is not done for good luck.
  • Jen4948 said:

    Definitely sounds more prop-esque to give them all signs rather than something useful. All of the flower girls can still toss petals and then the other "bearer" can carry something meaningful that plays into the ceremony. 


    I'm thinking Bible or other book for a reading, the rope for a hand-tying ceremony (maybe coiled up nicely in a basket), the glass to break if you're doing that tradition, pieces of a unity ceremony, etc. 
    Please do not do a glass-breaking ceremony as a "bonding experience" with your kids. It has a specific Jewish religious connotation and it is not appropriate as a unity ritual. as, despite common portrayals and superstitions, it is not done for good luck.
    I think @lolo883 ‌ was suggesting they carry the glass down the aisle to ceremonially bring it in, not that they participate in the glass-breaking itself.
  • Jen4948 said:

    Definitely sounds more prop-esque to give them all signs rather than something useful. All of the flower girls can still toss petals and then the other "bearer" can carry something meaningful that plays into the ceremony. 


    I'm thinking Bible or other book for a reading, the rope for a hand-tying ceremony (maybe coiled up nicely in a basket), the glass to break if you're doing that tradition, pieces of a unity ceremony, etc. 
    Please do not do a glass-breaking ceremony as a "bonding experience" with your kids. It has a specific Jewish religious connotation and it is not appropriate as a unity ritual. as, despite common portrayals and superstitions, it is not done for good luck.
    I think @lolo883 ‌ was suggesting they carry the glass down the aisle to ceremonially bring it in, not that they participate in the glass-breaking itself.
    Yeah, I was suggesting that if the OP is Jewish and doing that ceremony anyway, one of the kids could deliver the actual glass. Not participate in the ceremony itself, and not if OP is not Jewish, which we don't know based on this post. The only thing I was suggesting was items the children could carry besides useless signs. Retract the claws.

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    MollyandDll6747
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Tenth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited November 2014
    Definitely sounds more prop-esque to give them all signs rather than something useful. All of the flower girls can still toss petals and then the other "bearer" can carry something meaningful that plays into the ceremony. 

    I'm thinking Bible or other book for a reading, the rope for a hand-tying ceremony (maybe coiled up nicely in a basket), the glass to break if you're doing that tradition, pieces of a unity ceremony, etc. 
    Please do not do a glass-breaking ceremony as a "bonding experience" with your kids. It has a specific Jewish religious connotation and it is not appropriate as a unity ritual. as, despite common portrayals and superstitions, it is not done for good luck.
    I think @lolo883 ‌ was suggesting they carry the glass down the aisle to ceremonially bring it in, not that they participate in the glass-breaking itself.
    Yeah, I was suggesting that if the OP is Jewish and doing that ceremony anyway, one of the kids could deliver the actual glass. Not participate in the ceremony itself, and not if OP is not Jewish, which we don't know based on this post. The only thing I was suggesting was items the children could carry besides useless signs. Retract the claws.
    While I agree that the kids might carry something else, I wouldn't risk having a kid of ring bearer/flower girl age handling glass.  And it is not supposed to be "ceremonially brought in" anyway-if it's going to be done, the officiant will have the glass when the ceremony starts.

    I'm sorry, but I do get annoyed when non-Jews suggest trying to turn the glass-breaking ritual into something it is not-because it is in fact to commemorate the destruction of the Temples in Jerusalem as well as a reminder that married life includes sorrow as well as joy.  It's not a "bonding ritual" or something cute for kids to participate in.  I think people of other religions would be just as annoyed if someone not of their faiths suggested a revision of their rituals for that purpose.  So I don't appreciate being told to "retract my claws" on this anymore than anyone else who doesn't appreciate their religious rituals being revised into "cute ways to include kids."
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Tenth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I would like to make clear for the benefit of non-Jews who are not completely familiar with the significance of the glass-breaking ritual that Jews are not going to appreciate suggestions on turning it into something it isn't to include a child who is already "included" just by being there or as a ring bearer or flower girl.

    Devout Catholics, I think, would object just as "damn personally" to suggestions by non-Catholics about similar suggestions concerning the Mass or other elements of their faith- as would posters of just about every other religion feel about their own respective religious rituals.
  • Keep the signs small & simple. This way if you have a one or two of your kids have melt downs & refuse to walk down the isle or refuse to carry the signs, hopefully the others will fill in and carry the signs for you. I would do with "here comes"  "your bride" "Heart" This way the signs can stay size managable for the kids & if you have to lose the a sign due to the  kids melting down, you can loose the last one with the heart in it. My concern about the quote you have is that it won't be legiable in the photos because of how small you will have to write it for the kids to be able to carry the signs.

  • Jen4948 said:

    I would like to make clear for the benefit of non-Jews who are not completely familiar with the significance of the glass-breaking ritual that Jews are not going to appreciate suggestions on turning it into something it isn't to include a child who is already "included" just by being there or as a ring bearer or flower girl.

    Devout Catholics, I think, would object just as "damn personally" to suggestions by non-Catholics about similar suggestions concerning the Mass or other elements of their faith- as would posters of just about every other religion feel about their own respective religious rituals.

    Well that last bit isn't true. There are a lot of Catholics on the board who have very calmly explained why something would be inappropriate when other posters have gotten it wrong, as have people of different faiths. I think most people understand that not everyone has a firm grasp of other faith's rituals. There is no reason to get ragey right off the bat.

    OP if you really want to do signs make sure they are small and easy. Make it as easy on the little ones as possible. If the kids don't want to carry the signs don't make them.
    wrigleyvilleSTARMOON44theartistformerlyknownasMollyandD
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Tenth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    My responses regarding the glass-breaking suggestion was not "ragey" and not "clawed." It was merely a calm request not to involve kids in it by way of " including" them in the ceremony becuse that particular ritual is not appropriate for that purpose. Unfortunately, the responses to that were obnoxiously accusatory, with declarations that I was "ragey," taking it "damn" personally, and other bullshit.

    When it comes to this particular ritual, the same suggestion has come up before, and it was calmly explained then why it was inappropriate. Yet people who were regular posters back then continue to suggest it, and are now accusing people of being "ragey" just because we disagree, and they would respond the same way I did without being called "clawed", " ragey," or other crap labels if similar suggestions were made to inappropriately co-opt their religious beliefs.

    Why don't we be universally fair and knock off the labeling-while accepting that it's not appropriate to co-opt this, or any, religious ritual as a "unity" experience or something it isn't.
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