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Another FB rant: the stay-at-home mom

I'm not trying to offend any moms out there--- my own amazing mother was a stay-at-home mom for me and my three younger siblings and we were all little brats. It's definitely not an easy gig... but do you have to whine about it on Facebook constantly? 

"kids are sick again, oh yay."
"go figure the week before Thanksgiving I'm running around like crazy and Frankie is having tantrums all morning"

I just feel like there are better things to do than run to your computer and post about it on Facebook (i.e.- help your sick kid, maybe?) And of course these people are both repeat offenders; just happened to see these posts in a span of a few hours this morning. One of these people likes to share "cute" e-cards on her FB wall with little sayings like "Oh you work fulltime at 40 hours a week? That's cute." Groan.
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Re: Another FB rant: the stay-at-home mom

  • I do think it's really weird that moms that are "so busy" with "such crazy lives" post multiple times a day on FB. However, I think if I was home alone with kids, I'd be desperate for any interaction outside the bubble of my home.  That's about as sympathetic as I can get with it, as anyone who posts more than once per day ends up on my shit list. 

    There's no excuse for acting like you're better than a working person. Someone has to earn the money to feed the SAHM and the children. 
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  • I unfollow people like that. I have a friend whose feed is solely whines about her newborn's crying and diapers, and her Jamberry business.
  • Everyone always thinks they have it so rough. One of the higher-ups at my company has 5 kids, the youngest of which is an infant, and her husband also works full time. She's here usually a lot more than 40 hours, has to travel, and covers the work of another higher-up that recently left. I've never once heard her complain about her kids or about being too busy. I give her props. Everyone else can shut it. 
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  • Yea that's annoying. I get annoyed with people always trying to one up (the snarky ecard you mentioned). Its like, OK you're a SAHM - good for you. But really? They think people who work a full time job aren't working on house stuff, child care, etc when they get home? Dumb.
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  • The part about "Oh you work 40 hours, that' cute" makes me barf.  Yes, they don't spend the day babysitting and taking care of children but they still have to come home and cook, clean, take care of the kids, etc.  They don't get anymore of a free pass...
  • l9i said:
    The part about "Oh you work 40 hours, that' cute" makes me barf.  Yes, they don't spend the day babysitting and taking care of children but they still have to come home and cook, clean, take care of the kids, etc.  They don't get anymore of a free pass...
    Yeah unless your full time job is to sit on a big fluffy couch and play with puppies while someone serves you lunch, it's not like it's super fun and easy. 
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  • Did any of yall see that viral ad for the World's Toughest Job? It was some company that created a fake job posting with all these SUPER exaggerated requirements. ROLLED MY EYES SO HARD when I first saw this.

    http://www.adweek.com/adfreak/24-people-who-applied-worlds-toughest-job-were-quite-surprise-157028

    It's also sort of just.. offensive that certain moms complain the way they do. Offensive to the kids I mean.

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     fka dallasbetch 


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  • l9i said:
    The part about "Oh you work 40 hours, that' cute" makes me barf.  Yes, they don't spend the day babysitting and taking care of children but they still have to come home and cook, clean, take care of the kids, etc.  They don't get anymore of a free pass...
    Yeah unless your full time job is to sit on a big fluffy couch and play with puppies while someone serves you lunch, it's not like it's super fun and easy. 
    I would kill for that kind of full time job!
    Yeah...where do I apply for that job? Is there any kind of speical training I need to go through?
  • When parents complain about their kids that much on FB it makes me question why they even had them in the first place.
    YES!! This times one million! I wonder the same thing. You have 4 kids and you're "miserable". Why did you have them?
  • MagicInk said:
    I had someone post up something about "So excitied for the Thanksgiving holiday, oh wait, I'm a mom, we don't get holidays" then went on to whine (in her own comments) about how she has to clean the whole house, cook the big meal, clean up after the big meal, all while taking care of her kid. But oh, such is the life of a mom.

    Excuse me, do you not have a partner? I seem to remember being at your wedding and I don't think you've gotten divorced. Ok then, you're being a martyr, he can get up off his ass and do something. Take the kid, clean, set the table, I'm pretty sure he's capable of doing something. Of course then you wouldn't have anything martyr yourself for so I get why you aren't letting him help you.

    FYI I responded to her: Oh, is Jay hurt/sick? Why isn't he helping? And got the overwhelming response from her mommy friends that "men just can't handle this stuff". My father, who was a SAHD and handles all the Thanksgiving cooking, will be shocked to learn this.
    That's really annoying. That would be like if I complained that when I get home from work I have to do laundry and cook dinner and clean the house, and then I have to take my dogs out in the cold. Yeah, laundry and cooking and cleaning is the same shit everyone else has to do too, and yeah I chose to adopt those dogs, but it's so much HARDER for me than it is for everyone else! It isn't FAIR! Wah, poor me! You guys, pay attention to me! Everything is so hard! 
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  • Aray82Aray82 member
    500 Comments 250 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited November 2014
    One of my friends is a SAHM with five (five!) kids under 9 and she posts like that throughout the day. I do think it's just because she wants some adult virtual interaction when it's hard for her to leave the house and get actual adult interaction. 

    Also, there might be some solidarity in posting your frustration online and seeing other moms do it too. There's still a persistant myth in our culture that women are just supposed to be naturally happy with their kids and moms are just supposed to have this overabundant supply of patience. It might help another SAHM to see that and think, "hey, she's having a tough day too!" Sometimes it helps me when I see people in my position complain or have a tough time with their own dissertations or with the job search--it lets me know I'm not alone and it's as tough for everyone as it is for me. 

    That said, there are more appropriate outlets to do that than on fb where many, many of your friends have kids and full-time jobs, or have other struggles when they're childless (like, say, cancer as per a few of the posts this past week). And the 40-hour workweek card would make me stabby. 

    Of course, I have no kids and shouldn't spend time procrastinating on fb when I should be working, so there's that :P

    ETA: More thoughts. Also I at first thought the post above looked "poemy", hence my initial comment. Must need more coffee...
  • l9i said:
    The part about "Oh you work 40 hours, that' cute" makes me barf.  Yes, they don't spend the day babysitting and taking care of children but they still have to come home and cook, clean, take care of the kids, etc.  They don't get anymore of a free pass...
    Yeah unless your full time job is to sit on a big fluffy couch and play with puppies while someone serves you lunch, it's not like it's super fun and easy. 


    Please tell me this is a job.  I would like to immediately submit an application, please.

     

    And at least housewives have an awesome commute haha.  I'm not saying it's an easy job by ANY means, but man it must be nice to work from home, commute-wise.  I have to drive an hour each way

  • MagicInk said:
    Did any of yall see that viral ad for the World's Toughest Job? It was some company that created a fake job posting with all these SUPER exaggerated requirements. ROLLED MY EYES SO HARD when I first saw this. http://www.adweek.com/adfreak/24-people-who-applied-worlds-toughest-job-were-quite-surprise-157028 It's also sort of just.. offensive that certain moms complain the way they do. Offensive to the kids I mean.
    It pisses me off when SAHM or any parent really think their job is equivalent of a doctor's because you put a band-aid on your kid's scrapped knee. You are not a fucking doctor, professional chef, or any of the other shit you think you. Yes, being a SAHM is fine choice but it doesn't make you better than anyone and you don't work harder than everyone.

    ETA: @MagicInk - Wow. They really said men can't handle cooking and cleaning? What assholes. My dad will be shocked to learn that as well since he does the majority of the cooking and cleaning and worked from home while I was growing up so he could be at SAHD for my brother and me.
    Or caring for the kids. Men cannot be expected to care for their own offspring apparently. It's too hard.


    SIB

    Also pisses me off when SAHMs think this. My cousin's (now ex) wife has drug and alcohol problems. She got a DUI with their toddler son in the car TWICE. She went to jail, refused to clean up her act, and the judge was going to take their son away if she was still in the household. She had done some pretty horrible things aside from this, so my cousin finally said enough was enough, kicked her out of their house, and divorced her. 

    At the time, doctors were saying their son may be severely autistic and didn't have the ability to communicate, and said he may never talk. Later it was discovered that the mom may have been abusing him and/or giving him drugs which was causing all of these horrific emotional and developmental problems. With the mom out of the picture, my cousin started taking his son to the right doctors, counselors, specialists, schools, etc. and spent a ton of one-on-one time with him. 

    The kid is now 9 and is a totally normal, well-adjusted, intelligent, fun, cool kid. You would never be able to tell he ever had issues, and I've had some really fun conversations with him. Plus he totally schools me at lego-building all the time. My counsin-- a man-- single handedly brought this kid back from the brink, and has raised him for years without the help of the mom who's still out drinking all night and getting into all kinds of crazy messes and paying no mind to the fact that she has a child. I've watched my cousin go through hell and struggle with all of this and come out ok, and I've watched him be such an amazing, dedicated, devoted dad who really has his shit together and is always there for his son no matter what, all while working full time. 

    So seriously. Fuck any princess who says men can't do "mom stuff" solely based on the fact that they're men. Fuck that so much. 
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  • MagicInk said:
    l9i said:
    The part about "Oh you work 40 hours, that' cute" makes me barf.  Yes, they don't spend the day babysitting and taking care of children but they still have to come home and cook, clean, take care of the kids, etc.  They don't get anymore of a free pass...
    Yeah unless your full time job is to sit on a big fluffy couch and play with puppies while someone serves you lunch, it's not like it's super fun and easy. 
    I would kill for that kind of full time job!
    Yeah...where do I apply for that job? Is there any kind of speical training I need to go through?

    For the last month or so of my short term disability, I was feeling decent, but was exhausted and still immuno-compromised. My day consisted of sitting on the couch, cuddling with my cats. When I wasn't sitting on the couch, I was napping. The cats would curl up with me in bed, too. It was AMAZING. I could definitely see doing that more often, minus the cancer.

     







  • MagicInk said:
    I had someone post up something about "So excitied for the Thanksgiving holiday, oh wait, I'm a mom, we don't get holidays" then went on to whine (in her own comments) about how she has to clean the whole house, cook the big meal, clean up after the big meal, all while taking care of her kid. But oh, such is the life of a mom.

    Excuse me, do you not have a partner? I seem to remember being at your wedding and I don't think you've gotten divorced. Ok then, you're being a martyr, he can get up off his ass and do something. Take the kid, clean, set the table, I'm pretty sure he's capable of doing something. Of course then you wouldn't have anything martyr yourself for so I get why you aren't letting him help you.

    FYI I responded to her: Oh, is Jay hurt/sick? Why isn't he helping? And got the overwhelming response from her mommy friends that "men just can't handle this stuff". My father, who was a SAHD and handles all the Thanksgiving cooking, will be shocked to learn this.
    That's really annoying. That would be like if I complained that when I get home from work I have to do laundry and cook dinner and clean the house, and then I have to take my dogs out in the cold. Yeah, laundry and cooking and cleaning is the same shit everyone else has to do too, and yeah I chose to adopt those dogs, but it's so much HARDER for me than it is for everyone else! It isn't FAIR! Wah, poor me! You guys, pay attention to me! Everything is so hard! 

    To the bolded.  So a parent that does work and gets the holiday off will not be cleaning the house, and cooking dinner, etc???  I bet they will.  I will be.

    To the rest.  I work over 40 hours a week and still have to clean, cook, take care pets, do laundry, etc.... I just have a lot less time to cram all that in.

    I agree so much with PPs.  It's a choice and I hope I'd have the opportunity to stay home should I have kids, but I prb won't.

  • It pisses me off when SAHM or any parent really think their job is equivalent of a doctor's because you put a band-aid on your kid's scrapped knee. You are not a fucking doctor, professional chef, or any of the other shit you think you. 
    QFT.

    A woman I work with makes the BIGGEST deal out of parenting. Her nanny will call her at work because reasons and this woman will talk like she's single-handedly solving the Cuban Missle Crisis. Really loud - just so everyone knows how important she is. *eyeroll* I want to be like "there are 7+ billion people in the world. What you're doing is not unique."
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  • edited June 2015
  • MagicInk said:
    I had someone post up something about "So excitied for the Thanksgiving holiday, oh wait, I'm a mom, we don't get holidays" then went on to whine (in her own comments) about how she has to clean the whole house, cook the big meal, clean up after the big meal, all while taking care of her kid. But oh, such is the life of a mom.

    Excuse me, do you not have a partner? I seem to remember being at your wedding and I don't think you've gotten divorced. Ok then, you're being a martyr, he can get up off his ass and do something. Take the kid, clean, set the table, I'm pretty sure he's capable of doing something. Of course then you wouldn't have anything martyr yourself for so I get why you aren't letting him help you.

    FYI I responded to her: Oh, is Jay hurt/sick? Why isn't he helping? And got the overwhelming response from her mommy friends that "men just can't handle this stuff". My father, who was a SAHD and handles all the Thanksgiving cooking, will be shocked to learn this.
    That's really annoying. That would be like if I complained that when I get home from work I have to do laundry and cook dinner and clean the house, and then I have to take my dogs out in the cold. Yeah, laundry and cooking and cleaning is the same shit everyone else has to do too, and yeah I chose to adopt those dogs, but it's so much HARDER for me than it is for everyone else! It isn't FAIR! Wah, poor me! You guys, pay attention to me! Everything is so hard! 
    I complain about that shit all the time...in my head. And then I tell myself to adult the fuck up.

    Filters: it's good to have them.
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    This baby knows exactly how I feel
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