Another FB rant: the stay-at-home mom

VulgarGirl

mikenberger said:

-------(boxes quit on me.)--------- Ugh the worst statement I've ever heard uttered: "I asked him to babysit the kids and he won't!" Or "He's babysitting the kids tonight so I can go out. Its been so long!" You cannot babysit something THAT CAME FROM YOUR LOINS (or you adopted etc.). Its called parenting.

This is one of my most hated phrases. I'm always correcting people going "Parenting. When the other parent watches the child it's called parenting".

dcbride86

MagicInk said:

mikenberger said:

-------(boxes quit on me.)--------- Ugh the worst statement I've ever heard uttered: "I asked him to babysit the kids and he won't!" Or "He's babysitting the kids tonight so I can go out. Its been so long!" You cannot babysit something THAT CAME FROM YOUR LOINS (or you adopted etc.). Its called parenting.

This is one of my most hated phrases. I'm always correcting people going "Parenting. When the other parent watches the child it's called parenting".

Yeah, that always really bugs me, too.  Although not as much as when a guy says "we're pregnant."  For some reason, hearing that is like nails on a chalkboard to me

Maggie0829

dcbride86 said:

MagicInk said:

mikenberger said:

-------(boxes quit on me.)--------- Ugh the worst statement I've ever heard uttered: "I asked him to babysit the kids and he won't!" Or "He's babysitting the kids tonight so I can go out. Its been so long!" You cannot babysit something THAT CAME FROM YOUR LOINS (or you adopted etc.). Its called parenting.

This is one of my most hated phrases. I'm always correcting people going "Parenting. When the other parent watches the child it's called parenting".

Yeah, that always really bugs me, too.  Although not as much as when a guy says "we're pregnant."  For some reason, hearing that is like nails on a chalkboard to me

Ugh I hate that saying.  No, sorry dude you are not pregnant.  Your wife/girfriend is pregnant. Unless you have a little human being growing inside of you and are having to deal with all things that pregnancy brings then no, you are not even close to being pregnant.

Random thinking...My Mom was a SAHM and my Dad worked.  He worked hard to support his family and still made time in his busy work schedule to be an awesome Dad by taking me to sports practices and games on the weekend, attending every band concert I was in, making almost every high school field hockey game that I played in, spending time with me on the weekends, driving me to the mall when I was a teenager to hang out with my friends, helping me with my homework, etc, etc.  He did all of this and worked 40+ hours a week as a police officer.  So it really irritates me when people say that the Dad is babysitting or the Dad just isn't into doing certain things.  If he is a good Dad he will be helpful in all aspects your their childs life, not just the things that they want to be involved in.

theartistformerlyknownas

dcbride86 said:

MagicInk said:

mikenberger said:

-------(boxes quit on me.)--------- Ugh the worst statement I've ever heard uttered: "I asked him to babysit the kids and he won't!" Or "He's babysitting the kids tonight so I can go out. Its been so long!" You cannot babysit something THAT CAME FROM YOUR LOINS (or you adopted etc.). Its called parenting.

This is one of my most hated phrases. I'm always correcting people going "Parenting. When the other parent watches the child it's called parenting".

Yeah, that always really bugs me, too.  Although not as much as when a guy says "we're pregnant."  For some reason, hearing that is like nails on a chalkboard to me

Ew I hate that. No. You can both be "expecting." You can both be "having a baby." "Pregnancy" is a very specific, scientific condition which YOU, SIR, DO NOT AND CANNOT HAVE.

Aray82

dcbride86 said:

MagicInk said:

mikenberger said:

-------(boxes quit on me.)--------- Ugh the worst statement I've ever heard uttered: "I asked him to babysit the kids and he won't!" Or "He's babysitting the kids tonight so I can go out. Its been so long!" You cannot babysit something THAT CAME FROM YOUR LOINS (or you adopted etc.). Its called parenting.

This is one of my most hated phrases. I'm always correcting people going "Parenting. When the other parent watches the child it's called parenting".

Yeah, that always really bugs me, too.  Although not as much as when a guy says "we're pregnant."  For some reason, hearing that is like nails on a chalkboard to me

If DH were ever to try that phrase with me, I'd suggest he abide by the no booze and all the dietary restrictions that the actually pregnant person in the house has to deal with. I mean, if "we're pregnant" he shouldn't be having beer either, right?

flutteringinfl

Aray82 said:

dcbride86 said:

MagicInk said:

mikenberger said:

-------(boxes quit on me.)--------- Ugh the worst statement I've ever heard uttered: "I asked him to babysit the kids and he won't!" Or "He's babysitting the kids tonight so I can go out. Its been so long!" You cannot babysit something THAT CAME FROM YOUR LOINS (or you adopted etc.). Its called parenting.

This is one of my most hated phrases. I'm always correcting people going "Parenting. When the other parent watches the child it's called parenting".

Yeah, that always really bugs me, too.  Although not as much as when a guy says "we're pregnant."  For some reason, hearing that is like nails on a chalkboard to me

If DH were ever to try that phrase with me, I'd suggest he abide by the no booze and all the dietary restrictions that the actually pregnant person in the house has to deal with. I mean, if "we're pregnant" he shouldn't be having beer either, right?

I know people who actually do this though! My FSIL is pregnant and for the most part, they're both not drinking. I've seen him ask her permission to get a drink, though.

dcbride86

Aray82 said:

dcbride86 said:

MagicInk said:

mikenberger said:

-------(boxes quit on me.)--------- Ugh the worst statement I've ever heard uttered: "I asked him to babysit the kids and he won't!" Or "He's babysitting the kids tonight so I can go out. Its been so long!" You cannot babysit something THAT CAME FROM YOUR LOINS (or you adopted etc.). Its called parenting.

This is one of my most hated phrases. I'm always correcting people going "Parenting. When the other parent watches the child it's called parenting".

Yeah, that always really bugs me, too.  Although not as much as when a guy says "we're pregnant."  For some reason, hearing that is like nails on a chalkboard to me

If DH were ever to try that phrase with me, I'd suggest he abide by the no booze and all the dietary restrictions that the actually pregnant person in the house has to deal with. I mean, if "we're pregnant" he shouldn't be having beer either, right?

AMAZING!  If/when FI and I have babies, should he ever use that phrase (he won't - he hates it as much as I do) - I would definitely pull that one, and see how fast he retracted.

KatWAG

flutteringinftmyers said:

Aray82 said:

dcbride86 said:

MagicInk said:

mikenberger said:

-------(boxes quit on me.)--------- Ugh the worst statement I've ever heard uttered: "I asked him to babysit the kids and he won't!" Or "He's babysitting the kids tonight so I can go out. Its been so long!" You cannot babysit something THAT CAME FROM YOUR LOINS (or you adopted etc.). Its called parenting.

This is one of my most hated phrases. I'm always correcting people going "Parenting. When the other parent watches the child it's called parenting".

Yeah, that always really bugs me, too.  Although not as much as when a guy says "we're pregnant."  For some reason, hearing that is like nails on a chalkboard to me

If DH were ever to try that phrase with me, I'd suggest he abide by the no booze and all the dietary restrictions that the actually pregnant person in the house has to deal with. I mean, if "we're pregnant" he shouldn't be having beer either, right?

I know people who actually do this though! My FSIL is pregnant and for the most part, they're both not drinking. I've seen him ask her permission to get a drink, though.

 Well then he should also get up with her everytime she has to pee. And carry around 30+ extra pounds because giving up drinking just barely scratches the surface of pregnancy related issues/ sacraficies.

bethsmiles

I've never been bothered by the phrase "We're pregnant." We are excited, we are going to be parents. Yes, only one of us is actually physically pregnant but we are going through the experience together. And I know a lot of fathers who did follow all of the restrictions their partners went through during pregnancy to be supportive.

lyndausvi

My sister is a SAHM to 3 kids.   She is one those who is president of the PTA, president of the football league, team mom for the cheer and volleyball mom. On a bunch of other committees.  Don't get me started on her taxi job running her kids all over the damn place for activities.  For being a SAHM, she is just as active outside the house as most working moms.  

Anyway, she just vents to me.  Not often, just very once is a while when she has had a bad week and BIL is out of town for a week (he travels often), she just needs to vent.    The conversation always starts off as "You know I love my kids right?  Right.    THEY ARE FUCKING DRIVING ME CRAZY.    I use to manage 1000 people. 1000 people, These 3 kids are way harder than those 1000.  How FUCKING hard is it to clean your damn room? blah, blah"    I just let her vent away.   Then she feels better and goes on with her day.

Venting is natural in my opinion.  We all vent about work, husbands, whatever.   I do not mind the venting.  It's the avenue and frequency of the vent is the problem for me.   My sister never vents on FB.

Some people vent too much on FB in general.  Not just SAHMs

flutteringinfl

KatWAG said:

flutteringinftmyers said:

Aray82 said:

dcbride86 said:

MagicInk said:

mikenberger said:

-------(boxes quit on me.)--------- Ugh the worst statement I've ever heard uttered: "I asked him to babysit the kids and he won't!" Or "He's babysitting the kids tonight so I can go out. Its been so long!" You cannot babysit something THAT CAME FROM YOUR LOINS (or you adopted etc.). Its called parenting.

This is one of my most hated phrases. I'm always correcting people going "Parenting. When the other parent watches the child it's called parenting".

Yeah, that always really bugs me, too.  Although not as much as when a guy says "we're pregnant."  For some reason, hearing that is like nails on a chalkboard to me

If DH were ever to try that phrase with me, I'd suggest he abide by the no booze and all the dietary restrictions that the actually pregnant person in the house has to deal with. I mean, if "we're pregnant" he shouldn't be having beer either, right?

I know people who actually do this though! My FSIL is pregnant and for the most part, they're both not drinking. I've seen him ask her permission to get a drink, though.

 Well then he should also get up with her everytime she has to pee. And carry around 30+ extra pounds because giving up drinking just barely scratches the surface of pregnancy related issues/ sacraficies.

That's true. And if I was braver I might have suggested it to them...

theartistformerlyknownas

bethsmiles said:

I've never been bothered by the phrase "We're pregnant." We are excited, we are going to be parents. Yes, only one of us is actually physically pregnant but we are going through the experience together. And I know a lot of fathers who did follow all of the restrictions their partners went through during pregnancy to be supportive.

The term doesn't reflect experiences or excitement or being supportive though, it reflects a scientific condition. You can't just decide to give a word a different definition because you feel like it. 

Lots of things impact both my husband and I; that doesn't mean we can each co-opt what the other is going though. H is dealing with plantar fasciitis, and it takes a toll on both of our day; "we" do not both have it. I am interviewing for new jobs that could benefit and impact both our lives; "we" are not both interviewing. Next month "we" will start TTC; if all goes well, "we" will be expecting a baby but only "I" will be pregnant.

novella1186

lyndausvi said:

My sister is a SAHM to 3 kids.   She is one those who is president of the PTA, president of the football league, team mom for the cheer and volleyball mom. On a bunch of other committees.  Don't get me started on her taxi job running her kids all over the damn place for activities.  For being a SAHM, she is just as active outside the house as most working moms.  

Anyway, she just vents to me.  Not often, just very once is a while when she has had a bad week and BIL is out of town for a week (he travels often), she just needs to vent.    The conversation always starts off as "You know I love my kids right?  Right.    THEY ARE FUCKING DRIVING ME CRAZY.    I use to manage 1000 people. 1000 people, These 3 kids are way harder than those 1000.  How FUCKING hard is it to clean your damn room? blah, blah"    I just let her vent away.   Then she feels better and goes on with her day.

Venting is natural in my opinion.  We all vent about work, husbands, whatever.   I do not mind the venting.  It's the avenue and frequency of the vent is the problem for me.   My sister never vents on FB.

Some people vent too much on FB in general.  Not just SAHMs

Totally agree with this. Constantly venting on FB is a little bit too dramatic and AW, and definitely too "woe is me," just in my opinion. 

Maggie0829

bethsmiles said:

I've never been bothered by the phrase "We're pregnant." We are excited, we are going to be parents. Yes, only one of us is actually physically pregnant but we are going through the experience together. And I know a lot of fathers who did follow all of the restrictions their partners went through during pregnancy to be supportive.

I'm sorry but following the restrictions given to the pregnant woman is just silly.  There is so much more to being pregnant then following certain restrictions.  Your body changes and acts all crazy along with your hormones.  Will the Dad get constipated with the Mom to be?  Will the Dad rush to the bathroom every time he needs to pee every 30 minutes.  Will the Dad have to deal with accidentally peeing himself because his imaginary baby decides to kick his bladder?  Will the Dad throw up in the morning and possibly throughout the day for the first trimester?  Will the Dad gain X amount of weight?  Will the Dad experience backaches and trouble sleeping.

I am sorry but the way you can be supportive is to help the expectant Mom out when she needs it and not pretend that you know how she is feeling because you can't have a beer or a deli sandwich.

ashley8918

UGHHHHHH. Momplainers are the WORST. Right up there with vaugebookers ("I should have known it would turn out like this...")

theartistformerlyknownas

Maggie0829 said:

bethsmiles said:

I've never been bothered by the phrase "We're pregnant." We are excited, we are going to be parents. Yes, only one of us is actually physically pregnant but we are going through the experience together. And I know a lot of fathers who did follow all of the restrictions their partners went through during pregnancy to be supportive.

I'm sorry but following the restrictions given to the pregnant woman is just silly.  There is so much more to being pregnant then following certain restrictions.  Your body changes and acts all crazy along with your hormones.  Will the Dad get constipated with the Mom to be?  Will the Dad rush to the bathroom every time he needs to pee every 30 minutes.  Will the Dad have to deal with accidentally peeing himself because his imaginary baby decides to kick his bladder?  Will the Dad throw up in the morning and possibly throughout the day for the first trimester?  Will the Dad gain X amount of weight?  Will the Dad experience backaches and trouble sleeping.

I am sorry but the way you can be supportive is to help the expectant Mom out when she needs it and not pretend that you know how she is feeling because you can't have a beer or a deli sandwich.

IS HE CARRYING AN ACTUAL HUMAN FETUS IN HIS ABDOMEN? IF NOT, HE'S NOT PREGNANT.

Maggie0829

lolo883 said:

Maggie0829 said:

bethsmiles said:

I've never been bothered by the phrase "We're pregnant." We are excited, we are going to be parents. Yes, only one of us is actually physically pregnant but we are going through the experience together. And I know a lot of fathers who did follow all of the restrictions their partners went through during pregnancy to be supportive.

I'm sorry but following the restrictions given to the pregnant woman is just silly.  There is so much more to being pregnant then following certain restrictions.  Your body changes and acts all crazy along with your hormones.  Will the Dad get constipated with the Mom to be?  Will the Dad rush to the bathroom every time he needs to pee every 30 minutes.  Will the Dad have to deal with accidentally peeing himself because his imaginary baby decides to kick his bladder?  Will the Dad throw up in the morning and possibly throughout the day for the first trimester?  Will the Dad gain X amount of weight?  Will the Dad experience backaches and trouble sleeping.

I am sorry but the way you can be supportive is to help the expectant Mom out when she needs it and not pretend that you know how she is feeling because you can't have a beer or a deli sandwich.

IS HE CARRYING AN ACTUAL HUMAN FETUS IN HIS ABDOMEN? IF NOT, HE'S NOT PREGNANT.

And then does he have to push that possibly 8 pound baby out of his penis?  No.

So to all the men out there, it is not "we're pregnant" it is "my SO and I are going to be parents" or "my SO is pregnant."  Got it?!

flutteringinfl

The turn this thread is taking reminds me of Buster Bluth. "Although I have been referring to it as our nausea."

I couldn't find a gif though.

VulgarGirl

lolo883 said:

bethsmiles said:

I've never been bothered by the phrase "We're pregnant." We are excited, we are going to be parents. Yes, only one of us is actually physically pregnant but we are going through the experience together. And I know a lot of fathers who did follow all of the restrictions their partners went through during pregnancy to be supportive.

The term doesn't reflect experiences or excitement or being supportive though, it reflects a scientific condition. You can't just decide to give a word a different definition because you feel like it. 

Lots of things impact both my husband and I; that doesn't mean we can each co-opt what the other is going though. H is dealing with plantar fasciitis, and it takes a toll on both of our day; "we" do not both have it. I am interviewing for new jobs that could benefit and impact both our lives; "we" are not both interviewing. Next month "we" will start TTC; if all goes well, "we" will be expecting a baby but only "I" will be pregnant.

I have friends who use we for everything. They drive me nuts. 

[Deleted User]

All of these things parents complain about, are inherent in the nature of the role!  Comes with the job title of mom or dad, so suck it up! 

I'm a work outside the home mom, and there are days I'm frustrated, and tired and just don't want to cook or clean or deal with another tantrum or poopy diaper.

But I do... and when I do need to talk it out, I ask my FI for help, or vent to him, or to another one of my mom friends who can relate.... not to the entire Facebook world who doesn't give a shit about my first world problems that I signed up for when I decided to be a working mom.

I feel like a lot of them are just looking for attention, appreciation, and validation, but Facebook is not where they should be seeking that.

VulgarGirl

Since I (in theory) could get pregnant....do I get to say "we're pregnant"? 

emmaaa

I basically want to echo what everyone else has said. It drives me crazy that SAHP think they are God's gift to the world. I mean, great, you have the ability to stay home with your kids. Some parents don't have that option.

And as far as "working" on the holidays: I'm not married yet, don't have kids, and work full time. I'm busier on the holidays than I am any other day of the year. This is not unique to SAHP or anyone for that matter.

sarahufl

My sister is a SAHM and she posts fun pictures of my niece on the playground and eating and doing silly stuff. I love seeing it. But yeah, the complaining gets to be too much. Or the blowout discussions, etc.

On the babysitting note- my brother stayed home with my niece for a couple months and he used to get applauded by people for "babysitting" and it pissed him off to no end. He would always tell people that my niece was his kid and he wasn't babysitting- he was raising his child. People would STILL say- "but yeah, where is her mother?!"

theartistformerlyknownas

MagicInk said:

Since I (in theory) could get pregnant....do I get to say "we're pregnant"? 

Not unless you are! 

JeeGooDowster

SAHM complainers are annoying as all hell but as a PP said...chronic complainers on FB about ANYTHING are the worst!!!

VulgarGirl

lolo883 said:

MagicInk said:

Since I (in theory) could get pregnant....do I get to say "we're pregnant"? 

Not unless you are! 

Damn! Right now I just say I'm gonna get her knocked up. Just cause I like to fuck with people and make them go "wait..what?"

[Deleted User]

I'm a bitch so I side eye stuff from SAHMs ALL THE TIME!  Especially the ones who look at me like I'm crazy for not wanting to procreate. 

Sorry lady but look, half the stuff you post on FB is about how horrible being a SAHM is- you can't pee alone, you haven't showered for 9 days, you just picked up the same toy 9 times because your kid keeps throwing it on the ground, you never have adult conversations, you've changed 3 blow-out diapers today and been puked on twice, you can't sleep past 4am- the list of their complaints is ENDLESS.  And yet they think I'm the crazy one for not wanting to deal with that.

I don't care how cute a kid is, or funny it is.  Taking care of something is not in any way rewarding to me.  Especially since my kid (if I'm lucky) would reach all the same milestones as everyone else's "not as special as you think he is" kid.  And if I'm unlucky, despite my best efforts, it will grow up and do stupid things that I have to take responsibility for until they are 18.

No thank you, and I have NO SYMPATHY for complainers when you could have made a different choice.  (Children ARE a choice; even the unplanned ones.)

[Deleted User]

dcbride86 said:

novella1186 said:

l9i said:

The part about "Oh you work 40 hours, that' cute" makes me barf.  Yes, they don't spend the day babysitting and taking care of children but they still have to come home and cook, clean, take care of the kids, etc.  They don't get anymore of a free pass...

Yeah unless your full time job is to sit on a big fluffy couch and play with puppies while someone serves you lunch, it's not like it's super fun and easy. 

Please tell me this is a job.  I would like to immediately submit an application, please.

 

And at least housewives have an awesome commute haha.  I'm not saying it's an easy job by ANY means, but man it must be nice to work from home, commute-wise.  I have to drive an hour each way

ETA:  Comment:   Yeah, a great commute.  Driving to the doctor every few months (even if you have a healthy child), and then to school and back, and to all of their endless activities you signed them up for but complain about having to drive them too.  No thanks- sounds like a bad taxi cab because you get paid nothing to do all of the work and still have to pay to upkeep the car.

fwtx5815

I bet there are more than a few martyr moms over on the bump whose faces would twitch reading this thread

[Deleted User]