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People disgust me

FI's step daughter from his last marriage was texting me last night. It took her 10 minutes of very nervous sounding texting, but she told me she has a girlfriend! My response was no different than if she had said she had a boyfriend. I said that was awesome, how'd you meet, what's her name.

Two seconds later my phone rings and she asked if I read the text and saw it said GIRLfriend. I said yes and you haven't answered my questions. She started sobbing, turned out I was the only person she considers family that she thought she could tell and she still expected that I would judge her for it and make her explain herself. She felt better by the time we got off the phone, but begged me not to tell anyone who might out her to her grandparents or mom's side of the family.  

This is the part where I am disgusted by people, unlike her assumption about my reaction I know for a fact that her mom's side of the family will react how she expects. They are very very open about their Christian beliefs and love going on about their homophobic burn in hell shit. Apparently she asked her grandma what she would do if she had found out any of her kids were gay and the only two options sounded like one of those lovely pray away the gay camps or being kicked out.

Right now she has decided she will stay in the closet as long as she can. She lives with her moms family so it's not like she can just decide to say fuck what they think. It just breaks my heart that I am the only one she feels she can go to.

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Re: People disgust me

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    It's great that she feels comfortable with you. I agree that it's very sad that she doesn't feel like she can tell her family. As long as she is happy that's all that should matter.

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    I'm glad that she knows she can confide in you.  You sound like a good rock for support.
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    It's great that she feels comfortable with you. I agree that it's very sad that she doesn't feel like she can tell her family. As long as she is happy that's all that should matter.

    I love that she is comfortable with me, but as happy as she is now that she has figured out some of these feelings she seems equally if not more scared. It would be one thing if she was just worried they would judge her, but outing herself could lead to her getting kicked out? That just doesn't seem to be the "Christian" thing to do.


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    My heart is warmed at how you responded to her and accepted her. But I'm sad to hear that she is loving in a family that she feels trapped in and cannot be who she really is.
    Yeah this is awful :/

    I hate people.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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    doeydodoeydo member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited November 2014
    "I love my children unconditionally, you know, unless they're gay or something"  Gah, I just can't even with homophobes.  There was something I saw the other day that said something along the lines of "To all parents who abandon their kids when they find out they are gay" followed by a couple of lines of scripture about how it is the parents' duty to care for their children no matter what sort of thing.
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    It's great that she has you to confide in but it breaks my heart that she cannot expect the same love and support from others in her family. 


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    I loved the first part of the OP. It was wonderful to read how she confided in you and you supported her. It really sucks that her mom's family can't be as great as you. I hate people like that. And I know hate is the wrong thing, cuz hate causes the anti-gay nasty horrible problems, but I just can't find a place in my heart for anyone who discriminates like that.
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    Yay for you for being there for her!!!!!! Tears are in my eyes. I know that was probably one of the hardest and scariest things she has done. I'm sorry she feels the need to stay in the closet. I'm sorry the rest of her family are crappy. 

    I was teaching a biology class, a genetics lesson, and one student came up to afterwards and said....I bet I could tell you anything and you wouldn't bat an eyelash? I said nope, why should it? As long as you're happy and they are a decent person on the inside, i.e. not a creeper.  She laughed and went on her way. One year later, I find out she is dating another female student.....yay for her. 

    I wish more people were like you and others on here......then more people could live happy lives and not stay hidden away. 
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    larrygagalarrygaga member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited November 2014
    Well at least she has you! Continue supporting her and her bravery to come to you!!!
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    It's great that she has you in her life but awful that she thinks you're the only one she can trust.

    This makes me sad for the world.
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    I'm glad you are there for her. Fuck her family.
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    afox007 said:
    It's great that she feels comfortable with you. I agree that it's very sad that she doesn't feel like she can tell her family. As long as she is happy that's all that should matter.

    I love that she is comfortable with me, but as happy as she is now that she has figured out some of these feelings she seems equally if not more scared. It would be one thing if she was just worried they would judge her, but outing herself could lead to her getting kicked out? That just doesn't seem to be the "Christian" thing to do.


    it's not. Love thy neighbor unless they are different than you then fuck them they are burning in hell! I feel for your SD. Part of me just wants to go to her mom's family's house, tell them they are all a bunch of hypocrites and take her away. I hope, when she's ready to, she comes out and they are able to see just how wrong they were and accept her for who she is. That is what they should do, but sadly, not everyone sees it this way.
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    You are awesome. It's really heartbreaking that she can't be herself around her own family. Sometimes I hate people, too.
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    And you give me hope for humanity! I think you should invite them over for dinner. How wonderful it must feel to her to be able to be herself with (some of) her family.
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    Just to clarify, homophobia is NOT a Christian belief.  Some people who call themselves Christians are homophobic, but it is not a belief that is supported by the teachings of Jesus, or by many churches.
    It sounds like you acted perfectly toward your husband's step-daughter.  She is so lucky to have you for a friend!
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    What she calls family is not family. I wish you could take her away and I'm very happy she has you at least in that shit storm!
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    It's really wonderful that she has you in her life. And it's very said that her mom's family will most likely shun her for just being who she is. 
    Is there any way she can go live with you and your FI? Do you guys already share custody?
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    Good for you for being so supportive and giving her a sounding board for her feelings. Hopefully she considers taking you and FI up on your offer of coming home.

    @ashley8918, your siggy is, yet again, so appropriate
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    She's lucky to have you as a sanctuary from the shitstorm of this world.
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    This baby knows exactly how I feel
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    I think it's wonderful that you are so supportive of her-and so sorry that the rest of her family is so hateful. I hope she and her girlfriend can have happiness together.
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    I hate when "Christian" people act/think this way. God tells us to love thy neighbor and that we are not to pass judgement on others. I'm glad you are there for her.


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    I'm glad she has you.  My H and I are Christians but we too found ourselves taking in a teenage girl (friend of my SD) whose parents were unhappy when she came out to them - they didn't throw her out but they did start taking her to every area priest and medical doctor to try to "ungay" her by getting estrogen/birth control pills prescribed and forcing her to take them every morning before they'd let her go to school.

    It breaks my heart that so many Christians forget Jesus teachings...

    Mark 12:

    28 One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?”

    29 “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.e]">[e] 30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’f]">[f] 31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’g]">[g] There is no commandment greater than these.”


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    I hate when "Christian" people act/think this way. God tells us to love thy neighbor and that we are not to pass judgement on others. I'm glad you are there for her.
    That's what I've always been confused by. I've had very religious friends tell me that I'm going to hell for being a Jew (needless to say we're not friends anymore). And the same people who tout "Christian values" and constantly brag "I'm a good Christian" are the people who often are extremely racist and discriminatory against EVERY minority. So you only have good values and are a good Christian when it comes to white people who are also Christian? 

    And what pisses me off the most about that is that I also know tons and tons of Christians who are NOT the least bit racist or discriminatory and who are very open-minded and accepting of everyone, but they get a bad wrap based on those other jerks. 

    Don't use your religious values as an excuse to treat other people like shit, because those are NOT religious values and you're making your religion look bad! 
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    ShellD13 said:
    I'm glad she has you.  My H and I are Christians but we too found ourselves taking in a teenage girl (friend of my SD) whose parents were unhappy when she came out to them - they didn't throw her out but they did start taking her to every area priest and medical doctor to try to "ungay" her by getting estrogen/birth control pills prescribed and forcing her to take them every morning before they'd let her go to school.

    It breaks my heart that so many Christians forget Jesus teachings...

    Mark 12:

    28 One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?”

    29 “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.e]">[e] 30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’f]">[f] 31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’g]">[g] There is no commandment greater than these.”


    FI and I were just talking about this last night.  I was totally going to quote this same scripture.  It's ridiculous that people feel like they can simply ignore the teachings of Jesus in the name of Jesus.  I refuse to debate the whole "being gay is a sin" concept because it doesn't matter.  Everyone sins.  Choice or no choice, I support every person being treated like a person and will not judge anyone on that basis.  
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    Ugh this poor girl. I can't imagine what it would be like to fear that your family would turn against you. I'm so glad she has you for support!
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