Groom wants pink shoes...

awalte12

My fiance found out all of my bridesmaids will be wearing pink shoes. He wants himself and the groomsmen to wear pink shoes as well. My wedding is 14 months away however I don't think pink shoes are going to be easy to find. Any idea of where I can get them or where they can rent their tux that will supply them...

KatWAG

awalte12 said:

My fiance found out all of my bridesmaids will be wearing pink shoes. He wants himself and the groomsmen to wear pink shoes as well. My wedding is 14 months away however I don't think pink shoes are going to be easy to find. Any idea of where I can get them or where they can rent their tux that will supply them...

Is this a joke? I would strongly encourage him to reconsider.

He might think its cute/ funny now. But will its be so funny when you look back at your pictures in 20 years?

KatWAG

maybe pink laces as a compromise? But I would still discourage it

Maggie0829

No. Just no.

How about pink socks instead?  They really won't be seen but him and his guys can get a "cute" pick of them all lifting up their pant legs.

hellohkb

If he genuinely likes pink he should go for it. But are his groomsman going to want to spend the money on these shoes? What if just he wore the pink shoes and no one else?

Maggie0829

hellohkb said:

If he genuinely likes pink he should go for it. But are his groomsman going to want to spend the money on these shoes? What if just he wore the pink shoes and no one else?

Well if he is requiring them to wear pink shoes then HE needs to fork over the money for them, not his GMs.

hellohkb

Maggie0829 said:

hellohkb said:

If he genuinely likes pink he should go for it. But are his groomsman going to want to spend the money on these shoes? What if just he wore the pink shoes and no one else?

Well if he is requiring them to wear pink shoes then HE needs to fork over the money for them, not his GMs.

Exactly. OP mentioned them renting the shoes but no one is going to want to do that, imo. I am not sure if renting shoes is extra or is included with the tux.

Maggie0829

hellohkb said:

hellohkb said:

If he genuinely likes pink he should go for it. But are his groomsman going to want to spend the money on these shoes? What if just he wore the pink shoes and no one else?

Well if he is requiring them to wear pink shoes then HE needs to fork over the money for them, not his GMs.

Exactly. OP mentioned them renting the shoes but no one is going to want to do that, imo. I am not sure if renting shoes is extra or is included with the tux.

I think she meant getting them at the same place they are renting their tux.  I don't think tux rental shops rent specialty shoes.  But basic black tux shoes are part of the tux rental cost.

hellohkb

Ah, okay. I am clueless when it comes to tux rentals.


I am on Team Not Forcing Your Bridal Party To Be Props and hope OPs FI doesn't force his groomsman to wear pink shoes (that he will have to pay for).

KatWAG

Maggie0829 said:

No. Just no.

How about pink socks instead?  They really won't be seen but him and his guys can get a "cute" pick of them all lifting up their pant legs.

This is a much better idea than my pick laces idea.

AddieCake

I think the pink shoes will look stupid. I like the pink socks.

Maggie0829

Just for visual purposes...

KatWAG

awalte12 said:

My fiance found out all of my bridesmaids will be wearing pink shoes. He wants himself and the groomsmen to wear pink shoes as well. My wedding is 14 months away however I don't think pink shoes are going to be easy to find. Any idea of where I can get them or where they can rent their tux that will supply them...

You are paying for the pink shoes? Correct?

climbingsingle

Just to play devil's advocate - why is it acceptable for the bridesmaids to wear pink shoes but it's not OK for the men? Assuming the B&G are paying for these shoes, of course. 

RebeccaFlower

ClimbingBrideNY said:

Just to play devil's advocate - why is it acceptable for the bridesmaids to wear pink shoes but it's not OK for the men? Assuming the B&G are paying for these shoes, of course. 

I think pink shoes on BMs are lame, too. You should be paying for these shoes since I'm sure it's nothing they have/will wear again.

southernbelle0915

Personally, I think pink shoes will make you look back at wedding photos with a "why......?"

However, if that's what you both want for your WP members, fine. But you need to pay for it. If you want your BMs in pink shoes, you need to buy their shoes. Same with your FI and his GMs. All WP members are required to purchase is a dress or tux/suit in their budget. Attire above and beyond that which you require (e.g. shoes, jewelry, hair, etc.) should be paid for by you.

If you have it in the budget to purchase footwear for your entire WP, by all means, go for it!

hellohkb

ClimbingBrideNY said:

Just to play devil's advocate - why is it acceptable for the bridesmaids to wear pink shoes but it's not OK for the men? Assuming the B&G are paying for these shoes, of course. 

QFT. I think the bride and groom should wear whatever they want, even if that means the groom is decked out in pink (I am just not a fan of telling bridal party what to wear, especially footwear).

chibiyui

Pink socKS work better aesthetically, but there is nothing wrong with wearing pink shoes if the groom pays for them.

Maggie0829

ClimbingBrideNY said:

Just to play devil's advocate - why is it acceptable for the bridesmaids to wear pink shoes but it's not OK for the men? Assuming the B&G are paying for these shoes, of course. 

Well I hate to push gender stereotypes, but in my life I know that the women in my world would be okay if not happy to wear/own a pair of pink shoes while the men would just feel uncomfortable about it regardless of whether they had to purchase them or not.  I can guarantee that my H's response if asked to wear pink shoes would be something along the lines of  "you're fucking with me, right?"  I mean he would probably do it since he wouldn't have to pay for them but he really wouldn't be happy about it and would think he looked completely ridiculous.

And just because you (general of course) spend the money doesn't give you the right to force something onto someone who may feel uncomfortable about wearing that item.

Oh and pink shoes + tux =/= a good choice in fashion.

climbingsingle

Maggie0829 said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

Just to play devil's advocate - why is it acceptable for the bridesmaids to wear pink shoes but it's not OK for the men? Assuming the B&G are paying for these shoes, of course. 

Well I hate to push gender stereotypes, but in my life I know that the women in my world would be okay if not happy to wear/own a pair of pink shoes while the men would just feel uncomfortable about it regardless of whether they had to purchase them or not.  I can guarantee that my H's response if asked to wear pink shoes would be something along the lines of  "you're fucking with me, right?"  I mean he would probably do it since he wouldn't have to pay for them but he really wouldn't be happy about it and would think he looked completely ridiculous.

And just because you (general of course) spend the money doesn't give you the right to force something onto someone who may feel uncomfortable about wearing that item.

Oh and pink shoes + tux =/= a good choice in fashion.

I can't think of any of my girlfriends that own pink shoes. I certainly don't myself. If I had to wear pink shoes for a wedding, they'd get worn that day and never again. I don't even own any pink clothing. Not one shirt. Not even a pair of underwear. 

These type of gender stereotypes really piss me off. Why is the pink OK for women but not men? Why is it acceptable to request female bridal party members to wear pink, but you can't for the men? If my H had to wear pink for a wedding, I really can't see him having a problem with it. It's just a freaking color. 

Maggie0829

ClimbingBrideNY said:

Maggie0829 said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

Just to play devil's advocate - why is it acceptable for the bridesmaids to wear pink shoes but it's not OK for the men? Assuming the B&G are paying for these shoes, of course. 

Well I hate to push gender stereotypes, but in my life I know that the women in my world would be okay if not happy to wear/own a pair of pink shoes while the men would just feel uncomfortable about it regardless of whether they had to purchase them or not.  I can guarantee that my H's response if asked to wear pink shoes would be something along the lines of  "you're fucking with me, right?"  I mean he would probably do it since he wouldn't have to pay for them but he really wouldn't be happy about it and would think he looked completely ridiculous.

And just because you (general of course) spend the money doesn't give you the right to force something onto someone who may feel uncomfortable about wearing that item.

Oh and pink shoes + tux =/= a good choice in fashion.

I can't think of any of my friends that own pink shoes. I certainly don't myself. If I had to wear pink shoes for a wedding, they'd get worn that day and never again. I don't even own any pink clothing. Not one shirt. Not even a pair of underwear. 

These type of gender stereotypes really piss me off. Why is the pink OK for women but not men? Why is it acceptable to request female bridal party members to wear pink, but you can't for the men? If my H had to wear pink for a wedding, I really can't see him having a problem with it. It's just a freaking color. 

But would you physically feel uncomfortable in pink?  Do you wear pink clothing?  A lot of the men I know would physically feel uncomfortable in pink anything while the women would be fine about it since they tend to wear pink clothing or own pink shoes.

What it comes down to is physical comfort, regardless of gender.  I know it is just a freaking color but would you be happy wearing a color that you hate and are uncomfortable in?  And in my life (note that I am saying in my life and in my circle) the men I know do not like wearing pink because it makes them uncomfortable while the women, not so much.

I wasn't trying to make this into a gender stereotype debate, just pointing out that this could be the case for OP and her friends.

ETA:  OP if your H and all of his friends fucking love pink and love the idea of wearing pink shoes then go for it.  But if they are wearing a tux pink shoes would look ridiculous regardless if they love them or not.

ETA part 2:  And I never said it wasn't okay for men to wear pink.  If men want to wear pink more power to them.  But I do think men in pink shoes and a tux would look silly.

southernbelle0915

ClimbingBrideNY said:

Maggie0829 said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

Just to play devil's advocate - why is it acceptable for the bridesmaids to wear pink shoes but it's not OK for the men? Assuming the B&G are paying for these shoes, of course. 

Well I hate to push gender stereotypes, but in my life I know that the women in my world would be okay if not happy to wear/own a pair of pink shoes while the men would just feel uncomfortable about it regardless of whether they had to purchase them or not.  I can guarantee that my H's response if asked to wear pink shoes would be something along the lines of  "you're fucking with me, right?"  I mean he would probably do it since he wouldn't have to pay for them but he really wouldn't be happy about it and would think he looked completely ridiculous.

And just because you (general of course) spend the money doesn't give you the right to force something onto someone who may feel uncomfortable about wearing that item.

Oh and pink shoes + tux =/= a good choice in fashion.

I can't think of any of my girlfriends that own pink shoes. I certainly don't myself. If I had to wear pink shoes for a wedding, they'd get worn that day and never again. I don't even own any pink clothing. Not one shirt. Not even a pair of underwear. 

These type of gender stereotypes really piss me off. Why is the pink OK for women but not men? Why is it acceptable to request female bridal party members to wear pink, but you can't for the men? If my H had to wear pink for a wedding, I really can't see him having a problem with it. It's just a freaking color. 

I agree with both of you. 

I agree with Climbing that gender stereotypes are eyeroll-worthy at best. No gender "owns" or "shouldn't wear" a certain color. Dumb. 

On the flip side, I agree with Maggie that even if the B&G say "I want to pay for _______ for you for the wedding" (whether that be hair, nails, makeup, shoes, jewelry, etc.) the BM or GM can say "sorry, not comfortable with that."  I should have said they could OFFER in my post. I won't edit it now, but this is a good point for OP.

weddingcactus

My fiance was a groomsman in a wedding where the groom bought all his groomsmen red converse to wear (with their rented suits). My fiance did not like them and they've been sitting in our closet unworn for years now. (Come to think of it, I should really donate them.) At the time my fiance was not happy about wearing them and felt ridiculous in them, but his friend wanted it so my fiance just sucked it up and wore the shoes. 

Zappos.com has these pink Converse All-Stars. 

I do agree with previous posters comments regarding gender stereotyping regarding pink not being ok for men but ok for women. That said, it does seem like traditional men's formal attire does not typically include non-neutral colored shoes, whereas traditional formal women's attire does. Though I also think that pink shoes in general are not going to please very many people in the bridal party: male or female. My future sister in law was a bridesmaid in a wedding where she was told she had to wear pink shoes. I'm not sure what she ended up wearing, but she was pretty unhappy about the mandate and was considering wearing pink flip flops because she did not want to waste money on a pair of pink heels. 

CMGragain

There are rules about wearing tuxedos.  1.  They are for evening events ONLY!  2.  They are worn with black dress shoes and black socks.  It is your wedding, not a fraternity party.

http://www.blacktieguide.com/Contemporary/Contemp_Other.htm

You don't want this: 

http://www.blacktieguide.com/Supplemental/Hall_of_Shame.htm

jenna8984

CMGragain said:

There are rules about wearing tuxedos.  1.  They are for evening events ONLY!  2.  They are worn with black dress shoes and black socks.  It is your wedding, not a fraternity party.

http://www.blacktieguide.com/Contemporary/Contemp_Other.htm

You don't want this: 

http://www.blacktieguide.com/Supplemental/Hall_of_Shame.htm

You are consistently the most rigid, uptight, and un-fun person in the universe of weddings. Colored socks do not ruin a fucking wedding nor turn it into a "frat party". 

hellohkb

CMGragain said:

There are rules about wearing tuxedos.  1.  They are for evening events ONLY!  2.  They are worn with black dress shoes and black socks.  It is your wedding, not a fraternity party.

http://www.blacktieguide.com/Contemporary/Contemp_Other.htm

You don't want this: 

http://www.blacktieguide.com/Supplemental/Hall_of_Shame.htm

As long as she is not breaking an etiquette rule, I fail to see how daring to wear different colored socks would land you on a Hall of Shame list.

joneka

I agree with the pink socks....rental shoes are usually black, white or ivory....

I also like the colored converse! Dyeable or white cloth men formal shoes (in order to have them dyed) would be very difficult to find and over the top/cheesy IMO....my mind went to 70's prom....

DH and I went with colored socks....I wore yellow heels and he wore yellow socks....the only time they showed was when he bent down to take my garter off.....it was a cute and memorable photo....

Maggie0829

jenna8984 said:

CMGragain said:

There are rules about wearing tuxedos.  1.  They are for evening events ONLY!  2.  They are worn with black dress shoes and black socks.  It is your wedding, not a fraternity party.

http://www.blacktieguide.com/Contemporary/Contemp_Other.htm

You don't want this: 

http://www.blacktieguide.com/Supplemental/Hall_of_Shame.htm

You are consistently the most rigid, uptight, and un-fun person in the universe of weddings. Colored socks do not ruin a fucking wedding nor turn it into a "frat party". 

KatWAG

jenna8984 said:

CMGragain said:

There are rules about wearing tuxedos.  1.  They are for evening events ONLY!  2.  They are worn with black dress shoes and black socks.  It is your wedding, not a fraternity party.

http://www.blacktieguide.com/Contemporary/Contemp_Other.htm

You don't want this: 

http://www.blacktieguide.com/Supplemental/Hall_of_Shame.htm

You are consistently the most rigid, uptight, and un-fun person in the universe of weddings. Colored socks do not ruin a fucking wedding nor turn it into a "frat party". 

I think this is really uncalled for @jenna8984. You can disagree with @CMGragain but I think this is out of line.

chibiyui

KatWAG said:

jenna8984 said:

CMGragain said:

There are rules about wearing tuxedos.  1.  They are for evening events ONLY!  2.  They are worn with black dress shoes and black socks.  It is your wedding, not a fraternity party.

http://www.blacktieguide.com/Contemporary/Contemp_Other.htm

You don't want this: 

http://www.blacktieguide.com/Supplemental/Hall_of_Shame.htm

You are consistently the most rigid, uptight, and un-fun person in the universe of weddings. Colored socks do not ruin a fucking wedding nor turn it into a "frat party". 

I think this is really uncalled for @jenna8984. You can disagree with @CMGragain but I think this is out of line.

I'm going to agree with @KatWAG.  That was a bit too far. 

KatWAG

FWIW, I dont think it matters one way or another what color a groom's socks are. As we like to say on TK, its a victimless crime.

But, I think the Hall of Shame link for tuxes is very comical.