What do I buy?

STARMOON44

carrie0924 said:

photokitty said:

lolo883 said:

photokitty said:

Personally I'd call the bride and ask her where she is registered...let her tell you what she wants.

I feel bad for her and assume she din't want to tell the cousin "No, I don't want a random Xmas shower bc you don't want it to interfere with the baby shower you want one of us to throw you in the Spring."

OP did ask her - she's not registered anywhere.

My bad, I'm getting all the engaged/preggo cousins confused from this storyline.

Still feel bad for her. She might not want people to feel obligated to buy another gift since the hostess told everyone to bring an ornament. If I was the bride I feel bad and would be embarrassed felling like the guest were being shaken down for two gifts since they were given a directive (which I find rude).

Ugh this. Not to hijack the thread, but I went to a baby shower 2 years ago. The hostess used a Facebook Event to invite everybody (that's cool), and then also used the Facebook Event to set up a poll that the invitees could use to respond what they were bringing to the potluck! And not only were we expected to bring a gift AND a potluck item, but we were TOLD what potluck items to bring. As in "We need 3 people to sign up to bring a case of bottled water each. We need 2 people to bring potato salad. We need 3 people to bring sodas and ice. Please respond to this poll with what you are bringing so we won't get too much potato salad!" AND ON TOP OF THAT, we were told that, in lieu of bringing cards, we should bring our favorite baby book. I loved the idea of the baby book, and then we all wrote sweet notes inside the baby books so they were a sentimental thing and children can never have too many books IMO. But books are usually a helluva lot more expensive than cards.
The real kicker? The mother to be is a doctor, and the father to be is a kept man. They are rolling in money. They have two homes. One is a 150 year historic home that actually has a name... the type of home that gets pointed out on town tours and whatnot.





I could do without the helping of sexist scorn that "the father is to be a kept man." Surely you mean stay at home dad and I fail to see how that detail is relevant to your story.

theartistformerlyknownas

Well you can't be a stay at home dad if you're not a dad yet. If he was already staying home before the baby was born, I would classify that as a "kept man." I think she mentioned it to point out that they were already rich on one income.

STARMOON44

I wouldn't call a house wife a kept woman either. It has more than a hint of calling out a prostitution style relationship to it.

I'd go with house husband, her husband doesn't work, or just not mention it because that shower is tacky as heck whether they are rich or poor.

abbyj700

carrie0924 said:

photokitty said:

lolo883 said:

photokitty said:

Personally I'd call the bride and ask her where she is registered...let her tell you what she wants.

I feel bad for her and assume she din't want to tell the cousin "No, I don't want a random Xmas shower bc you don't want it to interfere with the baby shower you want one of us to throw you in the Spring."

OP did ask her - she's not registered anywhere.

My bad, I'm getting all the engaged/preggo cousins confused from this storyline.

Still feel bad for her. She might not want people to feel obligated to buy another gift since the hostess told everyone to bring an ornament. If I was the bride I feel bad and would be embarrassed felling like the guest were being shaken down for two gifts since they were given a directive (which I find rude).

Ugh this. Not to hijack the thread, but I went to a baby shower 2 years ago. The hostess used a Facebook Event to invite everybody (that's cool), and then also used the Facebook Event to set up a poll that the invitees could use to respond what they were bringing to the potluck! And not only were we expected to bring a gift AND a potluck item, but we were TOLD what potluck items to bring. As in "We need 3 people to sign up to bring a case of bottled water each. We need 2 people to bring potato salad. We need 3 people to bring sodas and ice. Please respond to this poll with what you are bringing so we won't get too much potato salad!" AND ON TOP OF THAT, we were told that, in lieu of bringing cards, we should bring our favorite baby book. I loved the idea of the baby book, and then we all wrote sweet notes inside the baby books so they were a sentimental thing and children can never have too many books IMO. But books are usually a helluva lot more expensive than cards.
The real kicker? The mother to be is a doctor, and the father to be is a kept man. They are rolling in money. They have two homes. One is a 150 year historic home that actually has a name... the type of home that gets pointed out on town tours and whatnot.

Their decision for the husband to stay at home really isn't any of your business. They obviously are happy with their arrangement - so why are you judging? The words "kept man" really rub me the wrong way. If my husband and I made the choice that he stay at home and cook and clean and take care of our home - you can be your ass I'd lash out at anyone referring to him in such a negative light. 

Also - it being tacky that their hostess planned so rudely has nothing to do with the couple's financial status. Them being well off has nothing to do with it. They worked hard and made decisions to get where they are (wealthy). No need to scorn them for it. Scorn the people who planned the party against etiquette.

theycallmelinz

I was about to ask what a kept man was haha. I thought that was a job title since you mentioned the woman is a doctor. 

I see your point though. Regardless of income, to me it's rude to dictate what your guests bring to an event you're hosting. I do like the idea of baby books at a baby shower, but you're right that would get expensive. I would bring one as a guest because it's a cute idea, but I would never ask my guests to do this when and if the time comes for be to have a baby shower.