Ugh. Can I just whine for a minute? I woke this morning so excited, feeling like it was Christmas, cuz I was under the impression that we were all being paid bonuses today. And I could really, really use the money. Well, FI works for this same company and he got his bonus today. I did not get mine. Turns out, I won't be getting one at all because I'm salaried. WTF? Like seriously... what the fucking fuck?
Last Christmas I did not get a bonus because I was still a temp, even though I wasn't supposed to be one. I started as a temp at this company in a different department for 6 months. I applied for a job in my current department that was NOT meant to be a temp position, but they transferred me in that way cuz I didn't have as much experience as they would have liked but they thought I was capable of doing the job, so they were giving me a test run. They kept me as a temp for 6 more months, even though my boss AND her boss kept gushing about how fast I learned everything and how amazing I was doing.
So for over a year, I had not one single day of vacation time, no paid holidays, and no benefits. It was extremely frustrating. (And I know many people have to deal with this, sometimes permanently, and I know I didn't really have it that bad.) It was just incredibly frustrating to watch my FI and all my friends at work and everyone in my department get all these things that I wasn't getting even though I was doing the same work.
Last year I FINALLY got hired in. One week too late to get the bonus this summer. I had to listen to everyone else talk about the huge bonus they had gotten, including my FI, and at this point I had been hired in for over 4 months but that wasn't long enough to get the fucking bonus. I was then given a small raise and switched to salaried because they were apparently really impressed with the work I was doing, which was awesome. But now I find out since I'm salaried I get no bonus. Again. I fucking missed it again. And since our company has been acquired and the deal is supposed to close this spring, there won't be any bonuses next summer. So after 2 and a half years of working here, I will never get one. Maybe this is petty and I'm being a big baby right now, but I'm so mad.
I also just found out that I have way less vacation time left than I thought because they prorated it since I was hired in March, which I was told they would not do. So that awkward gap between Christmas and New Years? I'll be sitting alone in the office just like I was last year, because my entire group AND my FI AND the people I'm friends with in other departments are all taking that time off.
I'll get over it. I'm just mad right now. I feel like I keep getting so screwed. And like I said, I know there are people who have it much worse than me so I don't want to sound like I don't realize it's not all bad or seem totally ungrateful. I was basically unemployed for three years after college and was taking whatever kind of shitty part-time jobs I could find and it was miserable. So at least (for now) I have a salaried position at a good company. I know I should quit whining and feeling sorry for myself. BUT I REALLY FUCKING WANTED THAT BONUS. End whine. Thanks for reading.
ETF: I put wine instead of whine every single time I wrote that word. If I were wining, I would be in a way better mood. Ugh.