Wedding Etiquette Forum

Speaking of telling people how to dress . . .

2

Re: Speaking of telling people how to dress . . .

  • redoryx said:

    This sounds like my idea of Bachelorette Party Hell.

    Edit to add: I'm confused about the "If you attend the pole dancing" part. So if someone opts out of the pole dancing, WTF are they supposed to do for that hour? Just watch everyone else pole dance? I mean, it's in the middle of the entire evening so it's not like they can skip that and come to dinner after or whatever. Pole dancing sounds like a voluntold activity.

    Haha omg I was invited to a bachelorette party that had a very similar itinerary to this. It was brunch and mimosas in the late morning, pole dancing in the afternoon, followed by dinner, followed by clubbing/strippers/whatever into the late night. And in the email from the host, she said something like "if you have a tight schedule, please feel free to attend brunch, skip dancing, and meet us for dinner later." Oh, THANKS I get a free pass for an hour from the day/night-long bachelorette party! I ended up just meeting up for dinner and leaving afterwards.
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  • I went to one of these types of bachelorette parties recently. Invite said we should all wear black dresses. The only black dress I own is a super lightweight summery one. It was December in WI. So... no. I wore a black top and dark blue pants. A couple of the BMs wore black dresses, but most people showed up in something similar to what I wore. The bride wore a sparkly dress with a veil, tiara, etc. I'm pretty sure everyone knew she was the bride.

    For my own bachelorette party, my 4 BMs and I just hung out at the one's house and had a girls weekend. We did go out dancing one night - I was just planning on wearing jeans and a top like I normally would, but my friends decided to play dress-up with me and so I ended up borrowing a dress from the one who was hosting. I was fine with that - that's pretty typical for us - but there's no way I would have done the reverse and told them what to wear.
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  • This is just like the bach party that I ended up not attending.  I was pissed when they told me what to wear (little black dress!) because I've gained some weight, and I only have a few dresses that fit me well, none of which are black.  I also refused to buy a shirt that said #BRIDESMAID which I got a lot of flack for.  So stupid. 


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    JBee85

  • dcbride86 said:
    Just when you think a dress code couldn't be topped, a certain bride posted on her wedding website (yes, the wedding website) the following bachelorette party dress code:  a one-piece animal play suit. This is not a joke. 


    I can't decide whether I'm more horrified or intrigued.  What even is that?  Does she mean like one piece pajamas?  A bathing suit?  A unitard?

    Does the bride also weart he animal play suit?  So many questions.

    So I don't know all the details, but the "theme" is Where the Wild Things are and the bach party apparently will include cave dancing. So...
    What's cave dancing?
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    dcbride86southernbelle0915PrettyGirlLostnovella1186

  • dcbride86 said:
    Just when you think a dress code couldn't be topped, a certain bride posted on her wedding website (yes, the wedding website) the following bachelorette party dress code:  a one-piece animal play suit. This is not a joke. 


    I can't decide whether I'm more horrified or intrigued.  What even is that?  Does she mean like one piece pajamas?  A bathing suit?  A unitard?

    Does the bride also weart he animal play suit?  So many questions.

    So I don't know all the details, but the "theme" is Where the Wild Things are and the bach party apparently will include cave dancing. So...
    What's cave dancing?
    I think it is just dancing, but in a cave. I've never been cave dancing though so I can't be totally sure. 

    Another development, because I had to refer to their wedding website to see if there was any further description of the cave dancing, each bach party attendee is actually ASSIGNED a type of animal play suit to wear. So, someone is assigned a cat, a monkey, etc. 

    They recommend this website for the purchase but caution that shipping takes at least 4-6 weeks: http://www.kigu.co.uk/
    image
  • I just threw a bach party for my BFF. The closest I came to telling everyone what to wear was to say that there was a heated pool and hot tub at the hotel, so to bring a bathing suit if they were interested in that. 


    Amazingly everyone managed to dress themselves. It's like they had gone places before or something...
    ~~-~
    Did you text everyone to tell them again about the pool and tub, then text again when they were packing so they would remember the bathing suit?
    Or did they just get it all by themselves after your initial notice?
    [Deleted User]
  • Actually, although I haven't been to a party like this, it seems not too far out of left field.  Having an activity like pole dancing, plus dinner and whatever after dinner is fairly tame. A lot of B parties have multiple activities in one day.
    Given the choice, I'd do this instead of a long weekend out of state.

    The invite doesn't sound bitchy, more like the planner is trying to be helpful. If I was asked to wear all black I wouldn't care because that's my standard night-out outfit anyway and is far easier than "let's all wear tie-dye!" I know not everyone feels that way though.  I'd skip the 80's theme for dance class though and I'd shamelessly show up in whatever the hell I felt like wearing. 

    I think it's poor planning to have dance class after a nice dinner but oh well.

    This could be worse, is all I'm saying. If the original receiver of the invite truly didn't want to do all that stuff and only wanted to do dinner, the planner sounds like a reasonable person who wouldn't care if that was the case. 
    This is what I was thinking.

    Yeah, I'm not about to go spinning around on a pole or doing chasses across the floor on a full stomach.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • These bach parties sound a bit much and exhausting.  When I was in my 20's we went out to dinner and then club/bar hopping.  Even the more recent ones I have been to have been dinner and then a single other activity. . . not day long events after events after events.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."



  • dcbride86 said:
    Just when you think a dress code couldn't be topped, a certain bride posted on her wedding website (yes, the wedding website) the following bachelorette party dress code:  a one-piece animal play suit. This is not a joke. 


    I can't decide whether I'm more horrified or intrigued.  What even is that?  Does she mean like one piece pajamas?  A bathing suit?  A unitard?

    Does the bride also weart he animal play suit?  So many questions.

    So I don't know all the details, but the "theme" is Where the Wild Things are and the bach party apparently will include cave dancing. So...
    What's cave dancing?
    I think it is just dancing, but in a cave. I've never been cave dancing though so I can't be totally sure. 

    Another development, because I had to refer to their wedding website to see if there was any further description of the cave dancing, each bach party attendee is actually ASSIGNED a type of animal play suit to wear. So, someone is assigned a cat, a monkey, etc. 

    They recommend this website for the purchase but caution that shipping takes at least 4-6 weeks: http://www.kigu.co.uk/

    Did you look at those prices? The whole thing is stupid but if you're going to go so far as to ASSIGN ME a stupid animal, you can buy me the damn outfit yourself.
    image
    PrettyGirlLost


  • dcbride86 said:
    Just when you think a dress code couldn't be topped, a certain bride posted on her wedding website (yes, the wedding website) the following bachelorette party dress code:  a one-piece animal play suit. This is not a joke. 


    I can't decide whether I'm more horrified or intrigued.  What even is that?  Does she mean like one piece pajamas?  A bathing suit?  A unitard?

    Does the bride also weart he animal play suit?  So many questions.

    So I don't know all the details, but the "theme" is Where the Wild Things are and the bach party apparently will include cave dancing. So...
    What's cave dancing?
    I think it is just dancing, but in a cave. I've never been cave dancing though so I can't be totally sure. 

    Another development, because I had to refer to their wedding website to see if there was any further description of the cave dancing, each bach party attendee is actually ASSIGNED a type of animal play suit to wear. So, someone is assigned a cat, a monkey, etc. 

    They recommend this website for the purchase but caution that shipping takes at least 4-6 weeks: http://www.kigu.co.uk/
    What the hell! When I first read animal suit, I was thinking like a cat suit, or a sexy spandex thing, not a fucking halloween costume. 
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  • So I don't know all the details, but the "theme" is Where the Wild Things are and the bach party apparently will include cave dancing. So...
    What's cave dancing?
    I think it is just dancing, but in a cave. I've never been cave dancing though so I can't be totally sure. 

    Another development, because I had to refer to their wedding website to see if there was any further description of the cave dancing, each bach party attendee is actually ASSIGNED a type of animal play suit to wear. So, someone is assigned a cat, a monkey, etc. 

    They recommend this website for the purchase but caution that shipping takes at least 4-6 weeks: http://www.kigu.co.uk/
    Um...wow. I know you're obligated to protect the innocent, but this is a party I would want to crash. Just to see what the actual fuck was happening. Who plans this stuff? WHO?!?!?
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    huskypuppy14PrettyGirlLost
  • I just threw a bach party for my BFF. The closest I came to telling everyone what to wear was to say that there was a heated pool and hot tub at the hotel, so to bring a bathing suit if they were interested in that. 

    Amazingly everyone managed to dress themselves. It's like they had gone places before or something...
    ~~-~ Did you text everyone to tell them again about the pool and tub, then text again when they were packing so they would remember the bathing suit? Or did they just get it all by themselves after your initial notice?
    Surprisingly just the one message I sent did the job. One girl called me the day of and asked because she had forgotten if I said the pool was heated or not heated. Another one also forgot but she remembered the hotel name so she just called them herself.

    It was like they were grown ups or something. Very weird. 
    NYCMercedes
  • So I don't know all the details, but the "theme" is Where the Wild Things are and the bach party apparently will include cave dancing. So...
    What's cave dancing?
    I think it is just dancing, but in a cave. I've never been cave dancing though so I can't be totally sure. 

    Another development, because I had to refer to their wedding website to see if there was any further description of the cave dancing, each bach party attendee is actually ASSIGNED a type of animal play suit to wear. So, someone is assigned a cat, a monkey, etc. 

    They recommend this website for the purchase but caution that shipping takes at least 4-6 weeks: http://www.kigu.co.uk/
    Um...wow. I know you're obligated to protect the innocent, but this is a party I would want to crash. Just to see what the actual fuck was happening. Who plans this stuff? WHO?!?!?
    Yeah. Unfortunately, I am not invited as I only know about this train wreck because it is my cousin's fiance's bachelorette. I'm not sure why you would put this on the wedding website, but I'm so glad they did. 

    I have been trying to utilize it as a learning tool with a fellow bride friend who keeps trying to force a destination bach party on everyone (no one but the bride and one bm wants to go, the other bms and friends do not want to drop a grand+ on her bach party), and would totally request particular outfits be worn. I keep pointing to it an saying, "isn't this cave-dancing animal-costume wearing thing ridiculous?". She hasn't gotten the message yet...
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  • Well shit.  I wore black to my own bachelorette party.  I guess I'm doing it wrong.
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    thisismynickname2CaitFins
  • WOW!!! I thought this was apart of the norm for Bachelorette parties O_O  I went to a bachelorette party (for a bride that got married a couple months before me) and her bridesmaids tried to tell me what to exactly wear with the black dresses and "team bride" t-shirts. When I told them that I was unemployed and could not afford to find a black dress, they threw a shitfit. And it is very hard to find a black dress in the middle of July.

    I wished I had came to you guys a lot sooner. :(
    [Deleted User]
  • My own Bach party was almost this when it came to attire. The girl throwing it for me wanted to tell all my guests to wear black dresses and they were gonna put me in red. Luckily she came to me first and I shot that down real quick.

    As it turned out, it was only me, her and two of my BMs. I still wore red and now have a dress I haven't worn since hanging in my closet.
  • dcbride86 said:
    Just when you think a dress code couldn't be topped, a certain bride posted on her wedding website (yes, the wedding website) the following bachelorette party dress code:  a one-piece animal play suit. This is not a joke. 


    I can't decide whether I'm more horrified or intrigued.  What even is that?  Does she mean like one piece pajamas?  A bathing suit?  A unitard?

    Does the bride also weart he animal play suit?  So many questions.

    So I don't know all the details, but the "theme" is Where the Wild Things are and the bach party apparently will include cave dancing. So...
    I'm sorry I just keep thinking about the "furry" people who's fetish it is to get dressed up in animal suits and get it on. Something about the phrase "animal play suit" just sounds dirty.
    You are not alone in thinking this. My first thought was: fetish?
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  • I hate when people don't know how to execute a theme correctly.  It makes them look like amateurs.

    Everyone in Where the Wild Things are were MONSTERS, not animals.  Those animal PJ things don't even fit the theme ><
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    PrettyGirlLostsophhabobophaCaitFins
  • Sounds like a pintrest bridesmaid! I hope the bride isn't the same way. 

    I was invited to a bachelorette with something similar, but it was held at somebody's grandma's house because most of the girls were too young to be let in the bar, including the bride. They wanted everyone to bring food for 40 people, wear animal print and buy lingerie DD and xs. That ain't her size if you ever saw her in real life. I received that lovely invite right after a bridal shower at which I gave the bride a Victoria's Secret gift card. I was a tad insulted and decided to skip out and go to a bar with some other ladies who were invited, because we are old enough!
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  • Maybe I'm in the minority, but I'm a big fan of theme parties. I think it would be totally fine for the host to let the invitees know the theme (like, animals) and say something like "The party will be an animal theme! All are welcome and encouraged to wear animal prints, animal costumes, etc.". I'd think with something like that people would be fine with wearing some cat ears, or whatever leopard print item they might own. 

    But really, 90% of a party's theme is on the hosts. If I was throwing this party, I would go to a party store or a dollar store or something and buy a bunch of cat ears, or fun cat-eye sunglasses, maybe some leopard print scarves, etc. to distribute to the party goers. 
  • MandyMost said:
    Maybe I'm in the minority, but I'm a big fan of theme parties. I think it would be totally fine for the host to let the invitees know the theme (like, animals) and say something like "The party will be an animal theme! All are welcome and encouraged to wear animal prints, animal costumes, etc.". I'd think with something like that people would be fine with wearing some cat ears, or whatever leopard print item they might own. 

    But really, 90% of a party's theme is on the hosts. If I was throwing this party, I would go to a party store or a dollar store or something and buy a bunch of cat ears, or fun cat-eye sunglasses, maybe some leopard print scarves, etc. to distribute to the party goers. 
    I sometimes like themed parties but it's hard to suggest people get into the theme without it seeming like a command. 
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  • MandyMost said:
    Maybe I'm in the minority, but I'm a big fan of theme parties. I think it would be totally fine for the host to let the invitees know the theme (like, animals) and say something like "The party will be an animal theme! All are welcome and encouraged to wear animal prints, animal costumes, etc.". I'd think with something like that people would be fine with wearing some cat ears, or whatever leopard print item they might own. 

    But really, 90% of a party's theme is on the hosts. If I was throwing this party, I would go to a party store or a dollar store or something and buy a bunch of cat ears, or fun cat-eye sunglasses, maybe some leopard print scarves, etc. to distribute to the party goers. 
    I sometimes like themed parties but it's hard to suggest people get into the theme without it seeming like a command. 
    Like the mandatory Ugly Sweater party here at work today?  I want to punch people every time I hear "Why aren't you wearing an ugly sweater?" Um, because I didn't want to spend money on something I'd wear for your stupid work party.  I don't even want to go to this damn thing at all, let alone buy an outfit, bring food to share, and bring a gift for the mandatory gift exchange.  God, I hate Forced Socialization.  I spend enough time with these fools, why do I want to spend my lunch hour "partying" too?
    JellyBean52513esstee33PrettyGirlLost
  • adk19 said:
    MandyMost said:
    Maybe I'm in the minority, but I'm a big fan of theme parties. I think it would be totally fine for the host to let the invitees know the theme (like, animals) and say something like "The party will be an animal theme! All are welcome and encouraged to wear animal prints, animal costumes, etc.". I'd think with something like that people would be fine with wearing some cat ears, or whatever leopard print item they might own. 

    But really, 90% of a party's theme is on the hosts. If I was throwing this party, I would go to a party store or a dollar store or something and buy a bunch of cat ears, or fun cat-eye sunglasses, maybe some leopard print scarves, etc. to distribute to the party goers. 
    I sometimes like themed parties but it's hard to suggest people get into the theme without it seeming like a command. 
    Like the mandatory Ugly Sweater party here at work today?  I want to punch people every time I hear "Why aren't you wearing an ugly sweater?" Um, because I didn't want to spend money on something I'd wear for your stupid work party.  I don't even want to go to this damn thing at all, let alone buy an outfit, bring food to share, and bring a gift for the mandatory gift exchange.  God, I hate Forced Socialization.  I spend enough time with these fools, why do I want to spend my lunch hour "partying" too?
    So much this! At a previous job (a VERY short-lived one), I was told by the guy training me "The Thursday night happy hour get-togethers after work are kinda sorta mandatory.... it really helps bring everyone together as a team if we spend time outside of work hanging out and getting to know each other." I told him that if I'm not on the clock, then it's not mandatory and I'll spend my Thursday nights after work however I want. It's not "outside of work" if I'm required to be there, so either pay me to get drunk with you idiots or I'll see you Friday morning.
    [Deleted User]
  • MandyMost said:
    Maybe I'm in the minority, but I'm a big fan of theme parties. I think it would be totally fine for the host to let the invitees know the theme (like, animals) and say something like "The party will be an animal theme! All are welcome and encouraged to wear animal prints, animal costumes, etc.". I'd think with something like that people would be fine with wearing some cat ears, or whatever leopard print item they might own. 

    But really, 90% of a party's theme is on the hosts. If I was throwing this party, I would go to a party store or a dollar store or something and buy a bunch of cat ears, or fun cat-eye sunglasses, maybe some leopard print scarves, etc. to distribute to the party goers. 
    I sometimes like themed parties but it's hard to suggest people get into the theme without it seeming like a command. 
    Maybe if it's your boss making the "suggestion" it's hard to reject it and it seems like a command, but if it's a friend then stand up for yourself and take it as a suggestion. Friends can't command you to do stuff. 
  • MandyMost said:
    MandyMost said:
    Maybe I'm in the minority, but I'm a big fan of theme parties. I think it would be totally fine for the host to let the invitees know the theme (like, animals) and say something like "The party will be an animal theme! All are welcome and encouraged to wear animal prints, animal costumes, etc.". I'd think with something like that people would be fine with wearing some cat ears, or whatever leopard print item they might own. 

    But really, 90% of a party's theme is on the hosts. If I was throwing this party, I would go to a party store or a dollar store or something and buy a bunch of cat ears, or fun cat-eye sunglasses, maybe some leopard print scarves, etc. to distribute to the party goers. 
    I sometimes like themed parties but it's hard to suggest people get into the theme without it seeming like a command. 
    Maybe if it's your boss making the "suggestion" it's hard to reject it and it seems like a command, but if it's a friend then stand up for yourself and take it as a suggestion. Friends can't command you to do stuff. 
    Mmm, but haven't we all been to the costume party and that one guy or girl is not wearing a costume and people ask all night "dude, where's your costume?" 

    I'm just saying with theme stuff make it clear that the costume aspect is totally optional and recognize not everyone enjoys it. 
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  • I think its really common to request that guests at the bachelorette wear a certain color - it makes the group look "cohesive". I much prefer a similar color (black) than those corny "bridesmaid" tank tops!!
    japrincess24
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