Open Bar or Not?

Knottie73288424

Hi,

What are people doing about this?  We don't have the funds to have an open bar (especially since it can cost thousands), but we would like to do something nice for our guests.  Any ideas or is an open bar absolutely necessary?  How do you limit costs of an open bar?  Thanks.

mikenberger

You can host just soda, water and wine. Or soda, water and beer. Host whatever you can afford. If it's just punch and water, that's fine too. You're not bound to some etiquette rule to have alcohol. BUT you should pay for whatever you choose to offer your guests. Cash bar is a NO.

ETA: http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/1036615/cash-bars-everything-you-need-to-know-in-one-place

Liatris2010

Host what you can afford. Don't offer anything your guests have to pay for themselves.

Maggie0829

You could also consider having a brunch/lunch wedding and have a consumption bar.  Typically people who attend earlier in the day weddings don't generally drink as much as they would at an evening affair.

Then you could offer a limited bar of beer and wine and non-alcoholic beverages.

But whatever you do, don't offer anything that results in your guests paying.

novella1186

I agree with PPs. It's fine to have a dry wedding. It's also fine to have a wedding at an earlier time of the day to cut costs. 

If you can afford beer, just do that. You might be able to do a keg of something inexpensive. Or just have wine. Beer and wine. Whatever. It's ok to work within your budget and do what's affordable for you. 

But no cash bars. 

cupcait927

We did open bar based on consumption and that was very cost effective for us. We got married at a small winery that only charged $5 a glass. They did not have a liquor license so that eliminated a cost there. We brought in a keg from a local brewery that we love and has great prices. We kept it simple and just did one keg of something that had the broadest appeal. We also did pop, water, coffee, etc. The consumption bar worked well because our venue was 30 to 45 minutes for most people so every car had at least one DD, H's family doesn't drink a ton, and we only had 50 people total. Not being able to have liquor definitely helped to keep our costs down and the fact that our venue was a winery so the price per glass was cheaper than it may have been elsewhere.

If you want to keep costs down, another alternative would be to find a venue that would allow you to bring in your own alcohol. You can get volume discounts on wine, bring in your own liquor and beer and just have to hire someone that can bartend for you. Food for though.

kat1114

If you can find a venue that let's you bring your own alcohol or bartender in, that could help with cost too. Our venue was a B&B with no vendor restrictions. I used thumbtack.com to find a bartender. We paid about $13/person for full open bar with mid-range liquor, 3 beer and wine choices, and gratuity. It would have been even cheaper if we brought our own alcohol, but since we got such a good price for someone to just do everything, we went that route instead.

climbingsingle

Ditto PPs. Host what you can afford. Have a dry wedding. Or offer just beer and wine. But don't have a cash bar. Your guests shouldn't be paying for anything. 

We did an open consumption bar instead of having to pay $35 per person. It saved us a lot of money. 

lovegood90

PPs have given great suggestions so far. You can do whatever you want as long as there is no option for you guests to pay for anything. A cash bar of any kind is not an option. 

lyndausvi

My standard answer is host whatever you can afford and NEVER let a guest open their wallet.

If that means just water and tea.  Then that is what you host.  If you can add sodas great.   Add some beer and wine even better.   

One way we kept costs down was finding a place that let us bring in our own liquor.  It might be too late for you, but for lurkers out there I always suggest if you want booze, please consider that BEFORE you book.   Too many people think of the bar as an after-thought.   

Think of what you want to host (food AND bar) while searching for the 'perfect' venue.    In my world the 'perfect' venue does not included making guests open their wallet for anything.  

banana468

I think you need to think of the big picture.   Not having alcohol was NEVER an option (sorry for the double neg).   So if we had to scale back, we wouldn't have had a reception in a large hall with an expensive per plate cost.   We would switch it to a modest location with easier food (think plated pasta dishes vs. filet) and would go with beer and wine vs. top shelf open bar.

IMO, it's all about doing it appropriately.   Too often people come on here and feel like the booze is an extra.   If you have a $1500 dress and a limo and expensive flowers but you are making guests pay for their beverages, something went wrong in the planning process. 

Jen4948

As long as you cover all the costs without passing any on to your guests and don't otherwise restrict the availability of anything you're offering them, any drink arrangement is fine. You can have a dry wedding, limited bar, or open bar. Just don't expect your guests to pay for drinks, have drink tickets, close the bar part way through the reception, or have anything only for the couple and/or the wedding party that's not offered to everyone else.

Maggie0829

banana468 said:

Too often people come on here and feel like the booze is an extra.   

QFT

weddingcactus

A dear friend of mine hosted a small wedding reception in a hotel suite. They bought wine, champagne, and beer at the store. I believe there were also non-alcoholic beverages, but I was pretty focused on the wine. To my recollection there was no liquor and I don't think anyone missed it one bit. I think the important thing was to have enough food and beverages for everyone to enjoy the hosted party. I think people are more than happy to enjoy a beer and wine only reception. In fact, I rarely even think to hit the hard liquor at a wedding reception. 

fwtx5815

Just host what you can afford.

It's okay to have a dry wedding, and it's okay to only host beer, wine, water, soda, tea.

It's not okay to:
Have a cash bar
Host a consumption bar for the first hour and then switch to a cash bar

If any of your guests are put off by you not having a top shelf open bar, they would be the rude ones, not you.

blabla89

Have you already booked a venue? If the venue offers the option to supply your own alcohol, you can save some money that way.

Knottie73288424

The venue does not allow us to bring in our own alcohol.  One of my friends said she did a limited open bar.  It was open bar during cocktail hour only.  Then the venue serves water, tea, soda, etc.  There will also be a champagne toast.  I like this idea and that is what we can afford to do.  I don't need people getting drunk and stupid on my dime. 

southernbelle0915

Knottie73288424 said:

The venue does not allow us to bring in our own alcohol.  One of my friends said she did a limited open bar.  It was open bar during cocktail hour only.  Then the venue serves water, tea, soda, etc.  There will also be a champagne toast.  I like this idea and that is what we can afford to do.  I don't need people getting drunk and stupid on my dime. 

Whatever you offer, you should offer it the whole time. 

If you can't afford to offer alcohol for the duration of the reception, then just don't offer it. There's nothing wrong with a dry wedding. But it's not cool to close the bar. Plus, if people find out you're doing this, they will order like 5 drinks during cocktail hour and line them up at their place setting, so it won't really save you any money.

I would see what beer/wine costs. Or just wine. Or just a signature cocktail. And have them quote you for the duration of the event - not just for an hour somewhere.

Knottie73288424

We are talking thousands of dollars that we don't hae

southernbelle0915

Knottie73288424 said:

We are talking thousands of dollars that we don't hae

Then just have a dry wedding. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. I've been to a couple dry weddings that were lovely.

levioosa

Knottie73288424 said:

The venue does not allow us to bring in our own alcohol.  One of my friends said she did a limited open bar.  It was open bar during cocktail hour only.  Then the venue serves water, tea, soda, etc.  There will also be a champagne toast.  I like this idea and that is what we can afford to do.  I don't need people getting drunk and stupid on my dime. 

Whatever you offer, it needs to be consistent.  If that means you can only afford a dry wedding, then that is okay.  If it means beer and wine along with non-alcoholic beverages, that is also okay.  But you can't offer alcohol for an hour and then stop it.  Your guests will be confused and uncomfortable.  Plus people will stock up on drinks if they find out that the bar is only open for an hour (and they will find out), so you'll still be stuck with a huge bar bill anyways.  

lyndausvi

How strange to provide alcohol for only an hour?  What about those people who like to pace themselves or getting to talking to other guests and do not run over to the bar right away.

All or nothing preferred.

500days

southernbelle0915 said:

Knottie73288424 said:

The venue does not allow us to bring in our own alcohol.  One of my friends said she did a limited open bar.  It was open bar during cocktail hour only.  Then the venue serves water, tea, soda, etc.  There will also be a champagne toast.  I like this idea and that is what we can afford to do.  I don't need people getting drunk and stupid on my dime. 

Whatever you offer, you should offer it the whole time. 

If you can't afford to offer alcohol for the duration of the reception, then just don't offer it. There's nothing wrong with a dry wedding. But it's not cool to close the bar. Plus, if people find out you're doing this, they will order like 5 drinks during cocktail hour and line them up at their place setting, so it won't really save you any money.

I would see what beer/wine costs. Or just wine. Or just a signature cocktail. And have them quote you for the duration of the event - not just for an hour somewhere.

My brother and his friends do the bolded any time there is only open bar during cocktail hour. Serve the same drinks all night, like the PPs have stated.

JCbride2015

Knottie73288424 said:

The venue does not allow us to bring in our own alcohol.  One of my friends said she did a limited open bar.  It was open bar during cocktail hour only.  Then the venue serves water, tea, soda, etc.  There will also be a champagne toast.  I like this idea and that is what we can afford to do.  I don't need people getting drunk and stupid on my dime. 

What about offering just beer, wine, and non-alcoholic drinks throughout the entire event? I would guess that is similar in cost to offering full open bar with liquor just during cocktail hour. I would expect guests to either stock up during cocktail hour if they know about the time limit, or get really pissed off when they go to order a drink and get an unpleasant surprise.

VulgarGirl

Why is the bar always the last decision? It's not an after thought and shouldn't be treated as such.

thisismynickname2

I always really wonder why people come out and say, "So and so's not getting drunk on my dime."

If you are generally opposed to alcohol consumption, or are otherwise worried that your crowd will get obnoxious if they drink, then just have a dry wedding. 

In addition to what others have said about the cons of a limited availability bar, you can go to any actual bar (as in a business) and see that paying for drinks doesn't deter obnoxious drunkeness either.  Yet another reason to go dry. And, if you only host beer and wine, people will get drunk on that if they're so inclined to get drunk. If this is how you feel about drinking then I encourage you to just host water and soda and other non-alcoholic beverages.  

ohannabelle

Knottie73288424 said:

The venue does not allow us to bring in our own alcohol.  One of my friends said she did a limited open bar.  It was open bar during cocktail hour only.  Then the venue serves water, tea, soda, etc.  There will also be a champagne toast.  I like this idea and that is what we can afford to do.  I don't need people getting drunk and stupid on my dime. 

Really? You obviously think very highly of friends.

Cookie Pusher

Oh man, so many of our guests were drunk on our dime. Of course, none of them were as drunk as I've seen them at regular bars where they had to pay for their own drinks.

Wait... does this mean I can have a do-over with a cash bar???

NYCMercedes

If you do away with honeymoon, flowers, and your dress, then maybe you can afford to host your guests properly. Or, you know, have a dry wedding with dress, flowers, etc.

theartistformerlyknownas

I was really thrilled for all my loved ones to get drunk on my dime (or 60,000 dimes). We choose a venue we could afford, which included the food and alcohol.

VulgarGirl

I served pre - ceremony cocktails. I was all about getting people wasted on all my dimes. We had a kick ass party. That was my goal. Kick ass party