Snarky Brides

Thoughts on a fully choreographed first dance?

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Re: Thoughts on a fully choreographed first dance?

  • If I wanted to go to a dance recital, I would have.  
  • My aunt and uncle had one. They weren't professional ballroom dancers, but they both have been ballroom dancing for 20+ years, and that is where they met. It wasn't OOT, with crazy spins and lifts. But they did steps because...well...they know how to dance. I thought it was lovely and appropriate for them. When you know how to waltz you aren't just going to stand there and sway. 

    A FB friend had a dance choreographed by one of the people from DWTS (her husband is an agent and reps a bunch of people on the show). It was...the most ridiculous thing I had ever seen. So cheesy and AW. It was the opposite of my aunt and uncle's dance.
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  • Contrary to popular special snowflake belief, weddings are not talent shows. And people RSVP'd for a wedding, not Dancing with the Stars amateur hour.
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  • My fiance and I met at a swing dance club in high school and we love dancing together. For our song we'll be swing dancing but it won't really be planned. But when I watch videos of couples who don't know how to dance  dance with choreography, it's so awful and awkward. 
  • Contrary to popular special snowflake belief, weddings are not talent shows. And people RSVP'd for a wedding, not Dancing with the Stars amateur hour.
    I mean, I agree with you on most things but I just think this is a case of, if it doesn't take longer than a first dance would otherwise take (3-5 minutes depending on the song) I don't see it as a big deal. Is it ridiculous? Probably, depending on just how choreographed we're talking, but I would be more entertained watching the b&g attempt dirty dancing style lifts than watching them stiffly waltz around. 
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  • Contrary to popular special snowflake belief, weddings are not talent shows. And people RSVP'd for a wedding, not Dancing with the Stars amateur hour.
    I mean, I agree with you on most things but I just think this is a case of, if it doesn't take longer than a first dance would otherwise take (3-5 minutes depending on the song) I don't see it as a big deal. Is it ridiculous? Probably, depending on just how choreographed we're talking, but I would be more entertained watching the b&g attempt dirty dancing style lifts than watching them stiffly waltz around. 
    99% of the time, having to watch a choreographed dance like this is awkward. Why make your guest uncomfortable? They're not your captive audience. They didn't pay admission to watch a show.  
  • Contrary to popular special snowflake belief, weddings are not talent shows. And people RSVP'd for a wedding, not Dancing with the Stars amateur hour.
    I mean, I agree with you on most things but I just think this is a case of, if it doesn't take longer than a first dance would otherwise take (3-5 minutes depending on the song) I don't see it as a big deal. Is it ridiculous? Probably, depending on just how choreographed we're talking, but I would be more entertained watching the b&g attempt dirty dancing style lifts than watching them stiffly waltz around. 
    99% of the time, having to watch a choreographed dance like this is awkward. Why make your guest uncomfortable? They're not your captive audience. They didn't pay admission to watch a show.  
    Ok, but realistically, do you think a couple who plans out a very elaborate choreographed first dance has enough self-awareness that they are in the 99% as opposed to the 1%? I'm thinking not, the same people who want to add lifts, etc. are going to think they can pull it off. 

    I'm not advising more people do them I just think it's nbd as long as it's not taking up lots of extra time. And, also, the wedding party should not be forced into it either. 
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  • Contrary to popular special snowflake belief, weddings are not talent shows. And people RSVP'd for a wedding, not Dancing with the Stars amateur hour.
    I mean, I agree with you on most things but I just think this is a case of, if it doesn't take longer than a first dance would otherwise take (3-5 minutes depending on the song) I don't see it as a big deal. Is it ridiculous? Probably, depending on just how choreographed we're talking, but I would be more entertained watching the b&g attempt dirty dancing style lifts than watching them stiffly waltz around. 
    Even if it's the same amount of time - 3 minutes of swaying vs. 3 minutes of choreographed dance - I still think it's reeks of attention whore-ishness to take advantage of a captive audience to basically show off. And therefore, I judge. I judge quietly, but I definitely judge. 
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  • I hated everything about that Justin Timberlake wedding party video, and as much as I love "Thriller", I am so tired of seeing it at weddings.

    I don't mind if a couple waltzes, does a swing dance, or something else that's appropriate and run of the mill for the song they're dancing to, but the choreographed dances (especially those involving the wedding party) get a super-hard eye roll from me. I usually head to the bar at that point.
  • Contrary to popular special snowflake belief, weddings are not talent shows. And people RSVP'd for a wedding, not Dancing with the Stars amateur hour.
    I mean, I agree with you on most things but I just think this is a case of, if it doesn't take longer than a first dance would otherwise take (3-5 minutes depending on the song) I don't see it as a big deal. Is it ridiculous? Probably, depending on just how choreographed we're talking, but I would be more entertained watching the b&g attempt dirty dancing style lifts than watching them stiffly waltz around. 
    Shit, 3-5 minutes for even a "regular" first dance is WAY TOO FUCKING LONG.  I think we had ours fade out after....45 seconds?  A minute?  Three minutes is a loooooong time to be awkwardly swaying around while your guests wonder "can I go to the bar yet?".
    Anniversary

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  • Would it be bad manners to shout "YOU LOOK LIKE DAMN FOOLS!" during a choreographed first dance? I hope not because I probably couldn't hold my tongue after having a few drinks in me. 
  • Contrary to popular special snowflake belief, weddings are not talent shows. And people RSVP'd for a wedding, not Dancing with the Stars amateur hour.
    I mean, I agree with you on most things but I just think this is a case of, if it doesn't take longer than a first dance would otherwise take (3-5 minutes depending on the song) I don't see it as a big deal. Is it ridiculous? Probably, depending on just how choreographed we're talking, but I would be more entertained watching the b&g attempt dirty dancing style lifts than watching them stiffly waltz around. 
    Even if it's the same amount of time - 3 minutes of swaying vs. 3 minutes of choreographed dance - I still think it's reeks of attention whore-ishness to take advantage of a captive audience to basically show off. And therefore, I judge. I judge quietly, but I definitely judge. 
    I actually completely disagree, and I am apparently the only one here who does. I dance, and I love watching people dance. I don't like when they involve the bridal party, because it kills the romance for me, but I would love to see the bride and groom do a nice dance together. 

    My husband and I didn't have a choreographed dance, but we did practice a few things together. I love dancing, but he had no idea what to do. We practiced how to step without stepping on each other, and we practiced moving with the music and keeping the beat. I'm glad we spent a few days doing that. I know our first dance didn't blow anyone away, but we had so much fun practicing together. 
  • Contrary to popular special snowflake belief, weddings are not talent shows. And people RSVP'd for a wedding, not Dancing with the Stars amateur hour.
    I mean, I agree with you on most things but I just think this is a case of, if it doesn't take longer than a first dance would otherwise take (3-5 minutes depending on the song) I don't see it as a big deal. Is it ridiculous? Probably, depending on just how choreographed we're talking, but I would be more entertained watching the b&g attempt dirty dancing style lifts than watching them stiffly waltz around. 
    Even if it's the same amount of time - 3 minutes of swaying vs. 3 minutes of choreographed dance - I still think it's reeks of attention whore-ishness to take advantage of a captive audience to basically show off. And therefore, I judge. I judge quietly, but I definitely judge. 
    I actually completely disagree, and I am apparently the only one here who does. I dance, and I love watching people dance. I don't like when they involve the bridal party, because it kills the romance for me, but I would love to see the bride and groom do a nice dance together. 

    My husband and I didn't have a choreographed dance, but we did practice a few things together. I love dancing, but he had no idea what to do. We practiced how to step without stepping on each other, and we practiced moving with the music and keeping the beat. I'm glad we spent a few days doing that. I know our first dance didn't blow anyone away, but we had so much fun practicing together. 

    I'm in the minority also and agree with you :).  I don't mind a choreographed first dance or even a swing dance/waltz with some extra moves in it.  Especially if the couple has practiced enough that they can perform it naturally and look like they are enjoying themselves and having fun.  Not a big fan of the bridal party dances, though.

    A bit off topic.  Although not a wedding, I went to a small swing dancing event when the play Rent was in town.  There were a couple dozen people at the party and we were all having a great time dancing.  Apparently, the guy who threw the party knew some of the cast from Rent and they showed up after their show was over.  They were AMAZEBALLS!!!!  Throwing women up in the air and through their legs, the whole shebang.  And none of it was choreographed.  Just professional dancers who can do some seriously entertaining swing dancing at the drop of a hat.  

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Inkdancer said:
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    Seriously, I'm a dancer and I wouldn't do this.
    Seconded.
  • At a wedding I weent to, the groom got his family together and they all did this really awesome Ukrainian dance and they were really into it...but I think that's different since that's what he does and they likely knew the dance already.. it was actually fantastic, but related to their culture, so it was relevant.

    Now, if a bride and groom choreographed a dance for shits and giggles, I would side eye it a bit but not really pay much attention. 

    If they made the entire WP do it, then I would get on the nope train and refill my drink, or run for a well timed smoke break. 


  • Silver Linings Playbook dance... Enough whiskey and I'd do it. Anyone else?
    Wedding Countdown Ticker

    This is why we can't have nice things.
  • Cringe & barf.


    But like all tacky weddings I want a front row seat, so please take video :)

  • I dislike choreographed dances, I feel like an inexperienced dancer would focus on the steps and wouldn't be in the moment with their new spouse. I plan on going with the sway, hopefully my DJ will have others come on the dance floor, because swaying for three plus minutes just seems like too much for me. 
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