How much help is okay to accept?

JennyColada

JCbride2015 said:

Ladies.  I'm now fantasizing about what I could do with an extra $600 in our wedding budget.  Look at these invitations!  They only cost more than my wedding gown!

Just nix the open bar and serve food potluck style and you can afford ALL THE INVITES.

Chipmunk415

Just throwing it out there....I got my centerpieces and other items, plus loose rose stems. Dunno what your color scheme is or if you're set on various flowers, but I got all off white roses from costco via vistaflor. I spent a max of 900 with tax and they arrived on time and stunning. My mom was nervous until they arrived then she cried at how pretty they were. Pm me with your email address while I look around for my digital images with floral close ups for your consideration

velvethelicopters

Oh my. Those invitations. I NEED THEM. Please, share the information please!

Everything is more than my dress. Because I didn't buy a "bridal gown" so it is cheap. Well, cheapish.

wandajune6

Chipmunk415 said:

Just throwing it out there....I got my centerpieces and other items, plus loose rose stems. Dunno what your color scheme is or if you're set on various flowers, but I got all off white roses from costco via vistaflor. I spent a max of 900 with tax and they arrived on time and stunning. My mom was nervous until they arrived then she cried at how pretty they were. Pm me with your email address while I look around for my digital images with floral close ups for your consideration

I did the same for my centerpieces. Costco was easy to work with and the flowers were beautiful. I ended up buying bouquets, bouts, etc from a local florist but would have gone through Costco for them as well if I could get a package that made sense for us.

JCbride2015

velvethelicopters said:

Oh my. Those invitations. I NEED THEM. Please, share the information please!

Everything is more than my dress. Because I didn't buy a "bridal gown" so it is cheap. Well, cheapish.

Justinviteme.com. I'm swooning over everything!

velvethelicopters

Thank you!!!!!!! Hrm. Do we really need to spend that much. And will people want to kill me from the glitter.

Then again, I don't much care. Glitter invites.......

JCbride2015

velvethelicopters said:

Thank you!!!!!!! Hrm. Do we really need to spend that much. And will people want to kill me from the glitter.

Then again, I don't much care. Glitter invites.......

Cookie Pusher

velvethelicopters said:

Thank you!!!!!!! Hrm. Do we really need to spend that much. And will people want to kill me from the glitter. Then again, I don't much care. Glitter invites.......

Everyone loves glitter! I did "White Trash Christmas" for my handmade holiday card theme a few years ago. It involved using spray glitter on the inside and outside of each card, glittery/tacky 3-D stickers, and then glitter-bombing the envelope. Not a single person out of like 40 complained to me at all!

velvethelicopters

DF just texted back "If you want glitter, those aren't too bad and I like the font of the invite of the month."

Because we need invites a year out.

STARMOON44

So it's roughly $600 you are saving. And how many people/how much time would it take to do?

As a bridesmaid, when I offer to help, I mean I'll pick someone up at the train station, or get the boutionaires from the florist, or make sure you have tissues at all times. I'm not actually offering to spend hours putting together tons of floral arrangements, I wouldn't want to do it, and if everyone else was I would feel like I had to or I'd be that one annoying bridesmaid. When I've been a bridesmaid I've frankly found that between a shower, a bachelorette, the rehearsal, the rehearsal dinner, getting ready, the ceremony, and the reception, I've spent enough time on the wedding.

Also not sure if you're kidding around, but the idea that you'd put your friends and family to work to afford nicer invites bothers me.

lnixon8

So happy for this thread- I'm planning on having myself and at least 2 bridesmaids that specifically offered to help with the bouquets, I'm sure out of the 9 of them more will offer. I don't really care about flowers so my plan right now is to use flowers delivered by Sams club.

 

@JCbride2015 Those invitations are amazing! I spent about an hour in paper source yesterday looking at invitations for the 1st time and my head was spinning. Little embarrassed to admit that I dreamt/nightmared about embossing.

pegasuskat

When my brother and SIL got married  we helped with centerpieces and bouquets.  The night before after the DR, both mothers, 2 sisters and a few assorted friends and relatives all went to the restaurant that SIL worked at (after it closed).  We spent about 3 hours and actually had a good time doing it together, and I loved doing it, you know your friends and family and if they really mean the offer it should be fine.  And none of us really knew much about flower arranging so we looked online and had some simple directions that came with the bulk flowers she ordered, they turned out great!

lovegood90

Just speaking for myself personally, when I'm in a wedding the shower/bachelorette/rehearsal/getting ready/pictures are already enough for me. Not that I don't love the brides whose weddings I'm in. However if I didn't feel up to helping with centerpieces and everyone else was already helping, I'd feel pressured to help too.

That being said, in this situation it sounds like your BMs have offered help multiple times. I don't see the harm in taking them up on their offer, as long as it's not a 10 hour thing which it doesn't sound like it is at all! Definitely go for it.

JCbride2015

STARMOON44 said:

So it's roughly $600 you are saving. And how many people/how much time would it take to do? As a bridesmaid, when I offer to help, I mean I'll pick someone up at the train station, or get the boutionaires from the florist, or make sure you have tissues at all times. I'm not actually offering to spend hours putting together tons of floral arrangements, I wouldn't want to do it, and if everyone else was I would feel like I had to or I'd be that one annoying bridesmaid. When I've been a bridesmaid I've frankly found that between a shower, a bachelorette, the rehearsal, the rehearsal dinner, getting ready, the ceremony, and the reception, I've spent enough time on the wedding. Also not sure if you're kidding around, but the idea that you'd put your friends and family to work to afford nicer invites bothers me.

I think it's pretty obvious I was kidding around.  

But you raise exactly what I was worried about, which is the extent of what "how can I help?" really means.  I'm not totally sure I will go the bulk flower route at all; I'm still holding out hope that the florist can offer me a lower-cost option that doesn't require putting anybody (myself included!) to work.

If I decide to go that route, I think the safest way of asking for help is something like a PP suggested: "Hey, on Thursday night I'm going to put my centerpieces together.  There will be wine and snacks at my place if you want to come help." At the very least, I feel comfortable straight-up asking my Fi of course, mom, grandma (who is psyched about flowers), and sister to help.

As for time and how many people, I guess I won't really know until I do a trial run before ordering the bulk flowers.  If Lolo can put together 26 centerpieces by herself in 6 hours, I hope 17 centerpieces with a few helping hands will get done in just a few hours.

mrsk616

id offer snacks and drinks, dont make it a long thing do it in different sittings. 

also before you do anything do a trial run.... make sure you can handle making something like that yours.

lovesclimbing

larrygaga said:

Hey, they offered!!!! My sisters always buy bulk flowers for weddings/showers/whatever and then we all get together and get the vases done in an hour or so. We crack open a few wine bottles and it turns into fun lady chat time.  That's what I'm planning to do for my wedding, as well. It only takes a few hours for us with about 8 women. 

I will say again and I'm sure I will piss someone off (I always do), but if you have even one single creative bone in your body, flower arranging isn't that hard. It's really hard to make a flower ugly.

Like you would have to light it on fire.

Scratch that-fire is pretty.

----

H brought me flowers when I was on vacation with my family. My dad set a propane lamp (we were in a rustic cabin with only a generator for power) too close to the bouquet.

One of the roses turned black. It was still kind of pretty.

And I vote take them up on the offer! I just helped with flowers/centerpieces for sisters' weddings last year.

theartistformerlyknownas

If someone offers help but doesn't REALLY want to help, they're the asshole, not you. 

I think as long as you phrase it like "this is what I'll be doing at this place at this time, if you'd like to help" or "these are the things I could use a hand with - any interest in helping with one of them?" rather than just going "oh goodie! HERE" and dumping flowers in their lap while you take off for a spa day, you're totally in the clear.