Spectacularly dumb restaurant customers

lovesclimbing

I like white Zinfandel. I am mid-20s, certainly no cougar!

I'll leave now.

AlexisA01

Nothing beats this at my local Subway, "Can I have a gluten free sub sandwich on wheat bread. Hold all the Gluten."

novella1186

pinkrevenge said:

Calling it right now.

If I was still in the dating pool I wouldn't go on a second date with anyone who ordered a steak past medium. Hell, I'd judge a man who ordered a steak less rare than mine.

I would prefer a vegan, because at least they might have taste buds.

Restaurant dates are really the best ones, aren't they? You can learn so much about a person. These are all the people I wouldn't date:
Well done steak eaters
people who look at all "non-american" cuisine as "exotic" and won't eat it
people who don't eat vegetables
people who use too much ranch
bad tippers
people who abuse the servers - I would literally hand a server a $20 bill, tell them to fart on the guy for me, and run out the back door mid-date.

Ditto this so much! And I would like to add: anyone who would go to a nice place and get a real steak and then put fucking steak sauce on it. NO

JennyColada

This is relevant to our interests: http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3799574

novella1186

JennyColada said:

This is relevant to our interests: http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3799574

Omg yes! We went to this little cafe when we were on vacation this summer, and this woman was being loud and rude to the staff and so obnoxious. She was clearly a regular there (way too comfortable and calling everyone by name) and actually WALKED INTO THE KITCHEN to yell at her waiter because he didn't bring her iced tea out fast enough (during a huge sudden rush). I just kept staring at her and could not believe how rude and awful she was being.

I told FI that I know people like her from the restaurants I've worked in: she thinks she's important because she comes here a lot, and she thinks the staff should bow down to her for being a reg. But in reality, when she walks in, the servers all argue over who's going to have to wait on her, then they're all in the kitchen talking shit about her the whole time, and even the manager doesn't like her. They dread when she'll come in next. They'd rather have her not show up at all than get her money, because she brings down the mood every time she sets foot in the door. The Awful Customer.

ETA: I never got back around to my point lol. He probably took a little extra time bringing her the stupid iced tea because he didn't want to fucking go back to her table, because she's an awful bitch and he's sick of her coming into his restaurant.

velvethelicopters

Ranch is to bribe children at times to eat vegetables. Or to dip french fries in. That is all.

lyndausvi

novella1186 said:

pinkrevenge said:

Calling it right now.

If I was still in the dating pool I wouldn't go on a second date with anyone who ordered a steak past medium. Hell, I'd judge a man who ordered a steak less rare than mine.

I would prefer a vegan, because at least they might have taste buds.

Restaurant dates are really the best ones, aren't they? You can learn so much about a person. These are all the people I wouldn't date:
Well done steak eaters
people who look at all "non-american" cuisine as "exotic" and won't eat it
people who don't eat vegetables
people who use too much ranch
bad tippers
people who abuse the servers - I would literally hand a server a $20 bill, tell them to fart on the guy for me, and run out the back door mid-date.

Ditto this so much! And I would like to add: anyone who would go to a nice place and get a real steak and then put fucking steak sauce on it. NO

Ha. I'm a med-well kind of steak girl.  Hamburgers have to be well done though.

I like veggies.  DH doesn't eat veggies.  (but he is amazing at cooking them. Go figure.)

I hate ranch.  HATE isn't even strong enough. DH eats ranch sometimes.

We are awesome tippers and never abuse a server.  If anything we overtip and are overly nice.

novella1186

lyndausvi said:

novella1186 said:

pinkrevenge said:

Calling it right now.

If I was still in the dating pool I wouldn't go on a second date with anyone who ordered a steak past medium. Hell, I'd judge a man who ordered a steak less rare than mine.

I would prefer a vegan, because at least they might have taste buds.

Restaurant dates are really the best ones, aren't they? You can learn so much about a person. These are all the people I wouldn't date:
Well done steak eaters
people who look at all "non-american" cuisine as "exotic" and won't eat it
people who don't eat vegetables
people who use too much ranch
bad tippers
people who abuse the servers - I would literally hand a server a $20 bill, tell them to fart on the guy for me, and run out the back door mid-date.

Ditto this so much! And I would like to add: anyone who would go to a nice place and get a real steak and then put fucking steak sauce on it. NO

Ha. I'm a med-well kind of steak girl.  Hamburgers have to be well done though.

I like veggies.  DH doesn't eat veggies.  (but he is amazing at cooking them. Go figure.)

I hate ranch.  HATE isn't even strong enough. DH eats ranch sometimes.

We are awesome tippers and never abuse a server.  If anything we overtip and are overly nice.

Well then I will date you.

labro

amelisha said:

I thought of my other frequent favourite: ladies ordering the Zinfandel (listed under the red wines...because it's a red wine) and when I would clarify (because it happened so often) "Just to confirm, you are looking for a red wine, not a rose?" they would invariably look disgusted and say "What? Zinfandel is pink!" 

No, ladies. No. White Zinfandel is pink. And it's listed with the other cougar juices in their own cougar juice section of the menu. If you want the pink crap, the $80 Zinfandel listed with the California reds is not what you want. And I am politely trying to save you from ordering a fairly expensive wine that you're going to hate.

I'm glad you at least clarify! I ordered a zinfandel at a restaurant once (the red stuff, not that pink shit) and the waiter brought out White Zinfandel. I was just "Why dude why????". It took a lot of clarification from me for him to finally figure out I wanted a red wine.

lyndausvi

Thank god DH doesn't judge on food choices. I'm sort-of picky in his mind.  I call myself the worse chef's wife.    BUT I'm good at eating at tastings.  Meaning if I eat somewhere they just plop food down I will eat the food (often even like the food).  But if I'm ordering I stick to my staples of filet, tuna, chicken as entrees.   

Now one time I ordered fried chicken, mashed potatoes with no gravy.  I HATE, HATE, HATE gravy on my mashed potatoes.  Well they came out with gravy on the potatoes.  I almost freaked out.   You could see I was so irritated.    I said it was fine as  to not be "that" customer.  Not that I was going to actually eat the potatoes. No those suckers would never see my mouth.  

 DH asked if they replace the potatoes for me (which they did). We over tipped the server because I felt bad for being a difficult customer.

[Deleted User]

[Deleted User]

huskypuppy14

velvethelicopters said:

Back in my years of working McDonald's - hey, decent enough pay, night shift with college, cheap food, I was broke - I was shift supervisor and was back fixing something. Manager was trying to leave. It's Lent, so McNastyFish is on the menu. I get called up for an irate customer. He wanted his Quarter Pounder with Cheese medium rare and his tuna rare. I just looked at him and started laughing. Manager comes up. Customer repeats his demands. Manager starts laughing. I finally got out that this is McDonald's, everything best be cooked to well done. If he wanted rare meat, he could head to *expensive local restaurant*. He was displeased to say the least. So he called corporate. Who called franchise owner. Corporate was laughing. Franchise owner spent the next 4 years with the medium rare burger gag on any new employee. Last I heard, the joke still happens.

Maybe he had a death wish?

novella1186

I'm pretty sure FSIL and her husband think I'm a vampire because I like my steak bloody and I love love love to eat hearts. If a heart is cooked right, it's delicious!!!

Viczaesar

pinkrevenge said:

Calling it right now.

If I was still in the dating pool I wouldn't go on a second date with anyone who ordered a steak past medium. Hell, I'd judge a man who ordered a steak less rare than mine.

I would prefer a vegan, because at least they might have taste buds.

Restaurant dates are really the best ones, aren't they? You can learn so much about a person. These are all the people I wouldn't date:
Well done steak eaters
people who look at all "non-american" cuisine as "exotic" and won't eat it
people who don't eat vegetables
people who use too much ranch
bad tippers
people who abuse the servers - I would literally hand a server a $20 bill, tell them to fart on the guy for me, and run out the back door mid-date.

I went out on a date with a guy on NYE once.  He was coming from out of town so I gave him several suggestions of good local restaurants and he chose the seafood place - even though he doesn't eat seafood because it's "icky" (I didn't know that when I suggested it).  When I asked him why he chose that restaurant if he doesn't eat any seafood he said it was fine, he'd looked up their menu online and they also had steak.  (Looking back, I'm fairly certain that he chose that restaurant because it didn't take reservations; he had an issue with commitment, even committing to dinner plans.)  So we went there and he ordered steak - medium well.  I didn't see him again after that weekend.

chibiyui

lovesclimbing said:

I like white Zinfandel. I am mid-20s, certainly no cougar! I'll leave now.

White Zin is the go-to wine for when a restaurant or bar has a shitty wine selection. More than half the bars whose door I might darken from time to time do not serve a fucking Riesling. In those that don't serve Riesling, about half don't have Moscato, and Chardonnay can die in a fire. 

So yeah. I drink a decent bit of white Zin.

velvethelicopters

Forgot one!

Local thing is the annual Testicle Festival. Some guy wanted to know a) what was being served and b) was it vegan.

The event is called Testicle Festival, what do you think is being served?

This is cattle country. For every glossy SUV crossover in the parking area, there's 25 mud coated working trucks. That word you used is slanderous. Any beating would be justified to remove your ability to pollute the gene pool.

levioosa

novella1186 said:

JennyColada said:

This is relevant to our interests: http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3799574

Omg yes! We went to this little cafe when we were on vacation this summer, and this woman was being loud and rude to the staff and so obnoxious. She was clearly a regular there (way too comfortable and calling everyone by name) and actually WALKED INTO THE KITCHEN to yell at her waiter because he didn't bring her iced tea out fast enough (during a huge sudden rush). I just kept staring at her and could not believe how rude and awful she was being.

I told FI that I know people like her from the restaurants I've worked in: she thinks she's important because she comes here a lot, and she thinks the staff should bow down to her for being a reg. But in reality, when she walks in, the servers all argue over who's going to have to wait on her, then they're all in the kitchen talking shit about her the whole time, and even the manager doesn't like her. They dread when she'll come in next. They'd rather have her not show up at all than get her money, because she brings down the mood every time she sets foot in the door. The Awful Customer.

ETA: I never got back around to my point lol. He probably took a little extra time bringing her the stupid iced tea because he didn't want to fucking go back to her table, because she's an awful bitch and he's sick of her coming into his restaurant.

Ugh, we had one of these.  They took up a table for three hours, had the most complicated order, and then would tip like 2%.  But it was okay because we all loved them! *snort*  

I feel sad.  I like my Beringer White Zin (this can go in the UO thread).  It's a cheap go to wine.  I definitely notice the difference between good wine and cheap wine, but it doesn't stop me from drinking White Zin.  I pretend it's fruit juice.  And damn it, sometimes I just want sweet pretend fruit juice wine.  

lovesclimbing

I don't drink very much, and I've discovered the alcohol I do like is usually sweet wines. I've only had white Zinfandel once, actually. We were looking at wine at the liquor store and just randomly ended up picking white Zin because it was sweet and I thought it looked good (wine connoisseurs we are not). It ended up being one of my favorites.

Maggie0829

velvethelicopters said:

Forgot one! Local thing is the annual Testicle Festival. Some guy wanted to know a) what was being served and b) was it vegan. The event is called Testicle Festival, what do you think is being served? This is cattle country. For every glossy SUV crossover in the parking area, there's 25 mud coated working trucks. That word you used is slanderous. Any beating would be justified to remove your ability to pollute the gene pool.

I would have told him that you had carrot and broccoli testicles to go along with the call balls that are also being served.

ETA:  And I meant cow balls, not call balls.

novella1186

Maggie0829 said:

velvethelicopters said:

Forgot one! Local thing is the annual Testicle Festival. Some guy wanted to know a) what was being served and b) was it vegan. The event is called Testicle Festival, what do you think is being served? This is cattle country. For every glossy SUV crossover in the parking area, there's 25 mud coated working trucks. That word you used is slanderous. Any beating would be justified to remove your ability to pollute the gene pool.

I would have told him that you had carrot and broccoli testicles to go along with the call balls that are also being served.

That is horribly cruel, to cut the testicles off of a broccoli. 

PrettyGirlLost

velvethelicopters said:

Forgot one! Local thing is the annual Testicle Festival. Some guy wanted to know a) what was being served and b) was it vegan. The event is called Testicle Festival, what do you think is being served? This is cattle country. For every glossy SUV crossover in the parking area, there's 25 mud coated working trucks. That word you used is slanderous. Any beating would be justified to remove your ability to pollute the gene pool.

*Gag*

You should do a version overseas right next to the schlong restaurant.

There are just certain parts of an animal you shouldn't eat. . . including any organ that is essentially a filter.

amelisha

Oh, ladies. You're all great, lovely, wonderful women, but I can't with the juicebox wine. 

I bartended for years and my characterization of white zin as "cougar juice" comes from years of serving it to middle-aged women with too much jewelry, too much perfume, a haircut at least five years behind the times, and an eye (and occasionally a squeezy hand) on the cute university-student waiters. 

I've branded you all forever in my mind as predatory-cats-in-training if you're gonna swill that stuff. I can't help it.

Those same young, cute waiters at the steakhouse used to sit down after their shifts, order a bottle of our finest Woodbridge by Robert Mondavi White Zinfandel  (...) and have a chugging contest. Those boys could crush 750ml in under a minute. It was disgusting and a little impressive. If that's what you're doing with your white zin, objections withdrawn.

beethery

Oh god, ranch and tips.

You might as well be putting shit in a chalk pentagram to summon that loon-ass broad who has a google alert out for that shit. I can't remember if she ended up getting banned or not. Going to have to look that up.

maeday2

amelisha said:

Oh, ladies. You're all great, lovely, wonderful women, but I can't with the juicebox wine. 

I bartended for years and my characterization of white zin as "cougar juice" comes from years of serving it to middle-aged women with too much jewelry, too much perfume, a haircut at least five years behind the times, and an eye (and occasionally a squeezy hand) on the cute university-student waiters. 

I've branded you all forever in my mind as predatory-cats-in-training if you're gonna swill that stuff. I can't help it.

All of this! 

I worked at a private golf club with billionaire members. One hosted a party for a lady friend. Her drink of choice was Beringer White Zin. She's all I think of when I hear White Zin. Access to all this great wine FOR FREE and you want fruit juice?

After a few glasses she was disrespecting that dance floor...and some young men. Awesome entertainment! 

VulgarGirl

I don't know shit about wine. I like moscato. I've had any kind of Zin. Zip on the zin. I have maybe had too much coffee.

[Deleted User]

velvethelicopters

PrettyGirlLost said:

velvethelicopters said:

Forgot one!

Local thing is the annual Testicle Festival. Some guy wanted to know a) what was being served and b) was it vegan.

The event is called Testicle Festival, what do you think is being served?

This is cattle country. For every glossy SUV crossover in the parking area, there's 25 mud coated working trucks. That word you used is slanderous. Any beating would be justified to remove your ability to pollute the gene pool.

*Gag*

You should do a version overseas right next to the schlong restaurant.

There are just certain parts of an animal you shouldn't eat. . . including any organ that is essentially a filter.


No, bull schlongs are dog chew toys.

FiancB

Ha, agree on the steak sauce. I can cook a real mean steak, restaurant style filet mignon, and we had H's parents over. His dad put KETCHUP ON THE STEAK. Oh, the horror. I wanted to take it from him and say he didn't deserve my steak and I'd make him a kid's portion of mac 'n' cheese instead. 

I worked as a hostess at a country club and I could see the horror in all the more experienced workers' eyes when they saw a certain couple's name on the reservation list. I learned they would only tolerate one server there. We also typically did a free dessert in the guests' birthday month, which it was his. I learned that singing happy birthday in the restaurant to him would have dire consequences, but I did go ahead and put a lit candle on his dessert. 

You would have thought I had taken a shit on it and served it up with a side of cyanide. Oh, the conniption that was had. I later heard the couple bitching at each other over really stupid stuff, so clearly they were just miserable awful people 24/7. 

Also when I worked at Applebee's a lady threw a fit because she ordered ribs and they were "too spicy". WTF. Flavor=\= spicy. Maybe try some oatmeal next time. 

PrettyGirlLost

pinkrevenge said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

velvethelicopters said:

Forgot one! Local thing is the annual Testicle Festival. Some guy wanted to know a) what was being served and b) was it vegan. The event is called Testicle Festival, what do you think is being served? This is cattle country. For every glossy SUV crossover in the parking area, there's 25 mud coated working trucks. That word you used is slanderous. Any beating would be justified to remove your ability to pollute the gene pool.

*Gag*

You should do a version overseas right next to the schlong restaurant.

There are just certain parts of an animal you shouldn't eat. . . including any organ that is essentially a filter.

You are just wrong on this one. It's okay, I'll have your portions.

Ew Good Lord you want to eat gonads on my behalf?!

God Bless you, child!!!!