Like seriously my MOH is my sister and honestly if I had chose her I wouldn't be in this situation, so I guess i'm made at myself. SHe isn't helping with anything and my bridesmaids have already found and started to order their dresses and she still hasn't! Life wtf! Everytime I ask her about it shes like I will don't worry. I just want to demote her to a bridesmaid and let my bestfriend take her place. UGH I'm so frustrated. Then she has the audacity to get mad when I go to my best friend for wedding help., well honey i'm sorry but you suck as a MOH!
Would it be wrong for me to ask her politely to step back and let my best friend take her place?
Re: Can you fire your MOH?
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fka dallasbetch
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fka dallasbetch
Lots of crazy. Why don't you get mommy involved again and let her order the dress and let her deal with your sister?
The only people required to help with your wedding (and pay for it) are you and your FI. If your Mom is helping pay, she gets a say in things like the guest list, food, etc, but she doesn't get to pick your wedding party for you (although that ship has sailed).
As far as your Mom goes, boundaries are your friend. She does get some influence because she is paying, but you are within rights with certain issues to say, "Mom, this topic is no longer up for discussion. Did you try that bean dip at Aunt Sally's at Christmas?"
If you are within your sister's budget for a dress, let her know the details with ordering it and then let it go. If she doesn't order it, then she has taken herself out of the wedding.
All of the dresses picked out for my bridesmaids fit in everyone's budget. They agreed on the same dress and cost. I would never ask someone to overspend just for 1 day. Now that's crazy! I honestly feel that if the roles were reversed that I would be more help to my sister than she is to me currently. That's my only issue. If I don't start to feel better about her being in the role then I'll just have to talk to her about it.
But thanks for the advice you guys.
I would talk to her to tell her how I'm feeling. I understand that helping is voluntary however if I know that someone else who would actually like to help without me asking and shares my same level of excitement, I personally would prefer them to have that role.
But thank you for thoughts
It's a valid feeling to want the person you're closest to as a MOH, but it's moot now.
If your BMs really want to help because they're closer to you, though, they shouldn't feel hindered from offering to help just because they're not your MOH. You can still accept their help if they offer it, just like you could if they were in a different role. Either way, they'd have to offer.
I get being stressed and overwhelmed but as other knotties have said, bridesmaids, MOHs whatever are only required to show up sober and wearing the dress on your wedding day. I know you want her to be as excited about your wedding as you are, but you can't expect that of her.
If one of your bridesmaids offers to help with something or has an interest in something then take her up on the offer. That's fine. But you can't expect them all to be your wedding servants for the next year. The bridal industry has put all these insane ideas in our heads about "duties" and they're just not true.
Don't demote her. Have a big glass of wine and try to let it go. As for ordering her dress, provide her with a deadline of the last day she can order. The end.