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Ceremony and Vow Ideas

Catholics - Presbyterian Minister/Pastor

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Re: Catholics - Presbyterian Minister/Pastor

  • IrishPirate60IrishPirate60 Clare Island member
    Fourth Anniversary 250 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    CMGragain said:
    OP, a Presbyterian minister can perform a marriage ceremony for you.  No problem.  She will probably require some form of pre-marital counselling.  This marriage will be recognized by everyone EXCEPT the Catholic Church, which will not recognize you as being married.

    Just a nuance here: if you're married by a Presbyterian minister, your marriage will be recognized by everyone, INCLUDING the Catholic Church--it won't be recognized as a sacramental marriage.
    CMGragain

  • CMGragain said:

    OP, a Presbyterian minister can perform a marriage ceremony for you.  No problem.  She will probably require some form of pre-marital counselling.  This marriage will be recognized by everyone EXCEPT the Catholic Church, which will not recognize you as being married.



    Just a nuance here: if you're married by a Presbyterian minister, your marriage will be recognized by everyone, INCLUDING the Catholic Church--it won't be recognized as a sacramental marriage.

    It won't be recognized as valid either. Getting married outside the church makes you a Catholic not in good standing.
  • edited January 2015
    banana468 said:
    CMGragain said:
    OP, a Presbyterian minister can perform a marriage ceremony for you.  No problem.  She will probably require some form of pre-marital counselling.  This marriage will be recognized by everyone EXCEPT the Catholic Church, which will not recognize you as being married.

    Just a nuance here: if you're married by a Presbyterian minister, your marriage will be recognized by everyone, INCLUDING the Catholic Church--it won't be recognized as a sacramental marriage.
    It won't be recognized as valid either. Getting married outside the church makes you a Catholic not in good standing.


    ---messed up boxes---



    Yeah, this is the important distinction. If you are not Catholic and get married in another church, your marriage is considered valid in the eyes of the Catholic Church (at least in terms of being a legal ceremony) because you already weren't participating in the sacraments, but if you are Catholic and get married in another church, it's not. At least, this is my understanding as a non-Catholic, so someone please correct me if I'm wrong.
    image
  • rcher912rcher912 Philadelphia member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    mim29 said:

    The sacrament of Communion is practiced in both Churches. I find it offensive to deny someone the Sacrament, because both faiths practice the consecration of the Eucharist, representing the exact same thing. The both uphold almost the exact same values and beliefs. My parents however, chose not to have a Mass because of the priests decision. Both Churches recognize the same seven sacraments. Also, FYI? My mother is allowed to receive Communion in his church.

    On the second count, I guess I wasn't altogether clear. I meant that I am/can be an "unofficial" godparent regardless of Church mandate. My friends and family would not withhold that from me on; whether or not it was recognized by the Catholic Church would be disregarded. In other words, my religious practice is not as important to them as it is to entrust their children to me as a guiding influence in their lives. That doesn't make them "bad Catholics" nor is it grounds to revoke their rights to Catholicism. People have godparents all the time who don't get married in a church. My 32 year old sister for example, has a godson and she hasn't been to church since she was 18. It didn't matter to the family. I was not asking to be preached at, I simply wanted a yes or no answer. Once again the forums on this website resulted in people being judgmental and accusatory towards someone with nothing but well-meant intentions. As a final statement however, I will not be married in the Catholic Church. My relationship with God and Christian values have proven to be more important to me than copping out as a cafeteria Catholic. I believe that my relationship with Him is between us, and no one else.

    For example:To me, the Eucharist is a symbol of Christ; like my father I do not believe in literal Transubstantiation, nor do I believe in the divine intervention when it comes to the selection of a Pope or priests. They are messengers and people of God. I do not believe that they were divinely "chosen" directly by Him. I do not believe that God intervenes in the choice that cardinals make directly when election time comes. I believe that they made the choice to follow a life dedicated to serving Him and the faithful of their own accord.  I also take issue with their standpoints on other aspects of marriage, but understand their prerogatives. I don't believe that couples should HAVE to accept children. I believe they have the right to choose that option for themselves. I believe that homosexuals are no less equal in the eyes of God than anyone else, including His acceptance of a marriage. God does not reject us for who we are and I don't think the Church has moral ground to contradict or renounce that. They can have children just as much as a heterosexual couple, so why deny them the same rights as anyone else? My Christian values do not equal Catholicism, nor do they entirely equate to the Episcopal faith. Again, this is what I have chosen and I won't be judged for it.

    To the bolded:

    The Presbyterian and Catholic Churches are very much not the same and do have some critical differences. Are they both Christian? Absolutely. Do both believe in the Holy Trinity and Jesus as the Lord and Savior? Yup. But the practice of Communion in the two churches is critically different--and you mention transubstantiation in your post. Transubstantiation and consubstantiation are very very different.

    Very very different.

    And if your (non-Catholic if I read correctly?) mother is allowed to receive communion in your (Catholic?) father's church, that's...interesting to me. Surprising. Maybe I didn't read it correctly. But if you're not a Catholic, you really are not allowed to receive the Eucharist.
    holyguacamole79MobKaz
  • Both my fiancé and I are Catholic. I am confirmed Catholic because my grandmother is still alive. My (Catholic) mother does participate in Communion in my father's (Episcopal) church, and visa versa. We have decided not to have a church ceremony as it would be something for others, rather than the beliefs we personally uphold. I also can't stand "Cafeteria Catholics", so it wouldn't be right to go into that either. IF we ever did it, it would be more likely that we would try to marry in an Episcopal church, as we find them to be more accepting than Catholics, who are much more... 'strict' and exclusive.

  • mim29mim29 member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its First Anniversary
    edited January 2015
    I'm interested for you to explain this further... mostly because I've gotten a little lost/am trying to understand it as not being contradictory, and am intrigued, (not because I'm trying to disagree :).
  • mim29 said:
    I'm interested for you to explain this further... mostly because I've gotten a little lost/am trying to understand it as not being contradictory, and am intrigued, (not because I'm trying to disagree :).
    Could you advise what you need explained?   Without the quote boxes it can be confusing.
  • "This marriage will be recognized by everyone EXCEPT the Catholic Church, which will not recognize you as being married.
    Just a nuance here: if you're married by a Presbyterian minister, your marriage will be recognized by everyone, INCLUDING the Catholic Church--it won't be recognized as a sacramental marriage. It won't be recognized as valid either."
  • mim29 said:
    "This marriage will be recognized by everyone EXCEPT the Catholic Church, which will not recognize you as being married.
    Just a nuance here: if you're married by a Presbyterian minister, your marriage will be recognized by everyone, INCLUDING the Catholic Church--it won't be recognized as a sacramental marriage. It won't be recognized as valid either."
    The Catholic Church will see that you were married outside of the church.   So you will be viewed as someone who opted to be married and not by a Catholic priest which will make you a Catholic not in good standing.   Meaning that they presume your marriage is valid in the eyes of the law.  If you want your marriage to be recognized in the Catholic Church, you need to apply for dispensation/a convalidation.   During this time, you cannot receive the Eucharist, serve as a God parent, sponsor for Baptism or receive other Sacraments.  They'll see that you were a Baptized and Confirmed Catholic who chose not to marry within the rules of the church and you opted to leave the church instead of receiving a Sacrament.

    Some people confuse this with couples who try to marry in a civil union before the Sacrament.   It's common in Europe and on occasion happens with couples planning to marry for military or insurance but who still want the big white dress.   The Church is generally against this too and when a couple does this, they're advised to live as brother and sister (don't have sex) until their marriage is blessed.

    Then there can be the difference between Sacramental and valid.   You can have a valid Catholic marriage without it being a Sacrament.   This is fairly uncommon.

    Bottom line - if you're a Catholic and choose not to marry in the Catholic church, you can't do other things within the church either.
  • mim29mim29 member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its First Anniversary
    edited January 2015
    My fiancé has already been designated as a Godfather. Not that the parents or he care in the least, but will the Catholic Church then revoke his role/recognize him as the Godfather?
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    mim29 said:
    My fiancé has already been designated as a Godfather. Not that the parents or he care in the least, but will the Catholic Church then revoke his role/recognize him as the Godfather?
    My understanding is no, his role as Godfather will not change.
    banana468 said:
    mim29 said:
    "This marriage will be recognized by everyone EXCEPT the Catholic Church, which will not recognize you as being married.
    Just a nuance here: if you're married by a Presbyterian minister, your marriage will be recognized by everyone, INCLUDING the Catholic Church--it won't be recognized as a sacramental marriage. It won't be recognized as valid either."
    The Catholic Church will see that you were married outside of the church.   So you will be viewed as someone who opted to be married and not by a Catholic priest which will make you a Catholic not in good standing.   Meaning that they presume your marriage is valid in the eyes of the law.  If you want your marriage to be recognized in the Catholic Church, you need to apply for dispensation/a convalidation.   During this time, you cannot receive the Eucharist, serve as a God parent, sponsor for Baptism or receive other Sacraments.  They'll see that you were a Baptized and Confirmed Catholic who chose not to marry within the rules of the church and you opted to leave the church instead of receiving a Sacrament.

    Some people confuse this with couples who try to marry in a civil union before the Sacrament.   It's common in Europe and on occasion happens with couples planning to marry for military or insurance but who still want the big white dress.   The Church is generally against this too and when a couple does this, they're advised to live as brother and sister (don't have sex) until their marriage is blessed.

    Then there can be the difference between Sacramental and valid.   You can have a valid Catholic marriage without it being a Sacrament.   This is fairly uncommon.

    Bottom line - if you're a Catholic and choose not to marry in the Catholic church, you can't do other things within the church either. ... until your marriage has been convalidated.

  • mim29 said:

    My fiancé has already been designated as a Godfather. Not that the parents or he care in the least, but will the Catholic Church then revoke his role/recognize him as the Godfather?

    He's already the godfather? I think he's set if that's the case. But if he hasn't provided documentation that he's a Catholic in good standing it child be an issue If he's preparing to be one.
  • The difference between valid and sacramental marriages in the church is when a Catholic marries a non-baptized person....its a valid natural marriage. When both people are baptized, its a Sacrament. The Catholic church honors non- Catholics to marry how they choose-- and considers their marriages valid (and if both baptized, sacramental).

    Only Catholics are bound by Canonical form to their marriage (this includes when marrying non-Catholics). They still have to go through the processes such as marriage prep and pre-marital investigation. 
    MobKaz
  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    banana468 said:
    My fiancé has already been designated as a Godfather. Not that the parents or he care in the least, but will the Catholic Church then revoke his role/recognize him as the Godfather?
    He's already the godfather? I think he's set if that's the case. But if he hasn't provided documentation that he's a Catholic in good standing it child be an issue If he's preparing to be one.
    If he is already a godparent they do not revoke your role. I can speak form experience as a Catholic who chose to marry outside the church and is not in good standing. I am still my nephew's godmother, but cannot be a godparent going forward. 

     Some parishes will allow one godparent to be a non-Catholic, but I don't know of any that allow a Catholic not in good standing to be one.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

  • OP, a Presbyterian minister should be able to perform the ceremony with no problem.  Presbyterian ministers have the freedom to marry couples inside or outside of the church, as they think best.  Some presbyteries and individual churches allow their ministers to conduct same-sex unions, some do not.  Many things are decided at the church level these days.  (This is assuming the minister is PCUSA--PCA or Reformed Presbyterian might have other requirements that I'm not familiar with.)

    Coincidentally, I'm in the process of LEAVING the Presbyterian church and converting to Catholicism.  Does it make me a little sad/nostalgic that I won't be able to be married in the church where I spent the last 23 years of my life, where I was baptized, where both of my sisters were married, and where my mother has been the music minister?  Yes.  But that's the decision I made.  I couldn't go back now and say, "Well...I'm super excited about being Catholic, but as far as marriage goes I think I want to get married in the Presbyterian church."  I think what PPs are trying to tell you is that by marrying outside the church, there are actual consequences that you at the very least need to be aware of.

    rcher912
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    Welcome to the Catholic Church, @futuremrshistorian!
    [Deleted User]
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